Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 54

Ask lunaKM – Do My Sexual Needs Not Matter?

Dear lunaKM,

My boyfriend and I have decided to enter into a D/s relationship as fully as we can. Though I love serving my Dom, I find myself resentful that, mostly, sex involves his orgasms and not mine. Very rarely does he seem interested in my pleasure at all or trying to connect my pleasure with my pain. Also, he doesn’t provide any after care though spanks long and hard at times. When I try to talk with him about these things, he either finds me disrespectful or mentions that he is pleasing me by allowing me to experience pain and a feeling of being used. As I’m new to the D/s scene, do I need to accept that my pleasure is not a consideration in our relationship? Am I out of line?

Dear frustrated and new,

You are certainly in a difficult situation but it has a relatively easy answer. If you feel that your sexual pleasure and preferences are important to your happiness in the relationship then they need to be addressed and cared for.

There are D/s relationships set up that the submissive is there to be used and enjoys it that way. It was negotiated that they want to feel used and not have their sexual needs taken care of. So, it’s not out of the ordinary to have a relationship like that. However, it’s quite clear from your questions that you don’t want to have a dynamic where your sexual desires, orgasms and aftercare are left out. That’s the key here.

You are new and so you probably didn’t know what you wanted at first, but you are learning more and more about yourself in this. You know that you are not happy with how things are and how he’s dismissing your concerns. You know he’s not giving you what you want in this exchange. You’ve tried to talk to him about it and he ignores it or says that he’s giving you exactly what you supposedly want. Maybe in this new exploration he finds that he likes treating you like a sex object without opinion or care for your own pleasure. Maybe he’s just so new and ignorant to how this is impacting you. It’s really hard for me to say for sure. This is for you to figure out.

I’d suggest trying to talk to him again and ask him if disregarding your pleasure and not offering aftercare is how he enjoys being Dominant. Just as I said above that there are submissives who like being ignored and denied, there are Dominants who like to do that. If he’s finding that his Dominant pleasure is treating his submissive as in object and you don’t like being an object then you’ve found a compatibility issue that likely will not go away. Once you know this about him, you have to decide if it’s worth continuing the D/s or the relationship at all. Some incompatibilities can’t be overcome and this would be one of them since your happiness is at odds with his. Now, if you find this is pure ignorance on his part, then education for both of you might be helpful and I suggest you read a few beginner BDSM books together and discuss things, go to munches if you are social people and start over. It doesn’t have to be the end if he is willing to work your pleasure into the relationship and to learn more about aftercare.

Keep an open mind and honest heart and you will be able to see if the issue is turning into a difficult decision for you or if you both just need more education and starting over.

Good luck,

–lunaKM

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

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Published on June 03, 2015 07:00

Learning Your Way Around the Kitchen-Brownies Without a Box

I love to bake. To me, even using the term love is an understatement. I love that I can take all these ingredients; eggs, flour, sugar, butter and turn them into something absolutely delicious. I have such a huge sense of passion when I bake. Being covered from head to toe(and I do mean this literally, Daddy will back me up on this)in flour and other assorted ingredients just puts me in my happy place. Before I moved to Germany though, I didn’t do a lot of baking from scratch. I was actually terrified to bake from scratch. It seemed like this huge complicated process that I thought I couldn’t handle. Now, I’m wondering what I was so scared of. I don’t think twice about it anymore. I know I’m not the only one out there who has ever been terrified of baking from scratch and I want to help alleviate that fear for others. The first recipe I’m going to share with you is for brownies.

One of the things I love doing when I go to particular grocery stores is visit the American food section. This usually results in some tears because I start feeling a bit homesick but on the other hand, it’s a comfort to see familiar foods as well. This one particular day while Daddy and I were out, we stopped by a grocery store that had a small American foods section. My eyes instantly spotted a box of Duncan Hines brownie mix. I could almost feel the drool running from the corner of my mouth. I couldn’t remember the last time I had brownies. I picked up the box, looking at the instructions and completely enthralled by this item in my hand. Daddy noticed and asked me if I wanted the box of brownie mix. I was only seconds away from saying yes when I looked at the price. Eight Euros(That’s $9 USD). I instantly dropped the box as if it were on fire and stepped away. Eight Euros. That’s almost a fifth of my weekly grocery budget. There was NO WAY IN HELL I could justify spending that much money on a box of brownie mix. I told Daddy no. There was no way. He told me again if I really wanted it, then I could have it. I told Him no again. I got the look I always get when He’s being rather adamant about something and I keep telling Him no. I told Him I have the Internet and if I really want brownies, I can find a recipe for brownies.

And I found one. I have found an awesome one that everyone loves. And I mean everyone. I have taken these into my language course and was terrified that I was going to lose fingers because I couldn’t get my hand out of the way fast enough. You can do a lot of things with these brownies. I’ve added cherries, chocolate chips, cream cheese/jam mixture(recipe for that below), cookie bits, peanut butter, and nobody has ever been disappointed. I found this recipe here at allrecipes.com here.

Ingredients:

1 C Vegetable Oil or butter

½ C Unsweetened Cocoa

2 C Flour

2 C Sugar

4 tsp Vanilla

1 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Salt

4 Eggs

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 F(175 C) then grease a 9 x 13 baking pan.

In a large bowl, beat the eggs and vegetable oil together until well blended. Combine the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt; stir into the egg mixture. Fold in walnuts or any other mix in if desired. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

Bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out clean. Allow to cool. Cut into squares.

The original recipe calls for 1 ½ cups oil, but after reading comments by others who made this recipe, I changed mine to only a cup of oil and also 1 tsp of salt instead of 1 ½ tsps of salt. After mixing everything, the batter is really dry so I add just a splash of milk to moisten the batter so it’s easier to spread into the pan. I don’t measure this but I’m guessing no more than a tablespoon of milk.

Now for that cream cheese/jam mixture I mentioned earlier, it’s easy as pie. You’ll want to mix this separately from the brownie mixture and swirl it in after you have the brownie mixture in the pan to get a nice marbled look.

Cream Cheese & Jam Mixture

Ingredients:

8 oz. softened cream cheese

⅓ C sugar

¼ C jam/jelly of choice

1 egg

3 Tbs flour

¼ tsp salt

Directions:

Mix all ingredients together and blend until just combined. Place spoonfuls of cream cheese mixture over the top of brownies and use a knife to gently mix in to get a nice marbled pattern.

I hope you enjoy these brownies as much as I do. I suggest pairing these with a nice tall glass of cold milk or a warm mug of your favorite hot chocolate. If you do make these, please let me know how they turned out. I am looking forward to sharing my love of baking with you in future articles!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on June 02, 2015 07:00

But I Don’t Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure

for the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/7/15

I have heard it a thousand times, someone doesn’t like pain so they are not interested in BDSM. In practically every case the person making that statement retracts it once they find out how erotic some pain can be. Pain doesn’t have to be painful, and other stimulus can be pleasurable and can either mask pain or enhance it. Yes there are people who also do not participate in any SM related play activities, but this article is not about them. This is about people who don’t really know how pain can be pleasurable and how I can show you how that pain is indeed something erotic when used correctly and in the right situations.

I’m going to paint you a picture. Before I do so I’m going to make a few assumptions about you and your sexual background. First, I assume that you are sexually active and have, or have had, a steady partner. Second, I assume that you have been active long enough that you have experienced many of the different lovemaking positions available to you.

I am going to assume that while making love with your partner, at one time or other, you have been on top with your partner laying on his back. While on top, your partner has had full access to your breasts and has taken full advantage of that position.

Let’s assume that at some point in time you have leaned forward just a little bit so that your lover could take your nipples into his mouth. He nibbles them and you both are getting closer to orgasm. The closer you get, the more excited he becomes and the more aggressively he nibbles. You feel little twinges of pain mixed with the good feeling of his nibbles. Not enough pain to kill your erotic feeling but enough to add that extra bit of stimulation that brings you closer to climax. He is getting closer, you are getting closer, the nibbling intensifies and in moments you find yourself

STOP!!!!!!

Just before you reach that magic moment, I want for you to stop and remove yourself from that situation. Place yourself, if you will, walking in your local shopping mall. If someone were to walk up to you at that very minute and squeeze your nipple with the exact amount of pressure that you were receiving with your lover, you would scream out in pain without a doubt. However, back in bed, you were about to scream out for a much different and much more enjoyable reason.

Now I’m going to take a moment to talk about the two types of pain you just felt in this scenario. One was very erotic and enjoyable and the other was neither erotic nor pleasurable. Both were exactly the same but under different circumstances they were received in totally opposite ways. So, which would you prefer; the erotic pain or the non-erotic pain? I’m pretty sure you’d choose the erotic pain every single time.

What is Happening?

If you’ve ever found yourself enjoying a scene similar to the one I described above then you have experienced, just briefly, the world of BDSM. Sure you only got a glimpse but it was not a terrible, torturous, degrading experience. It was something nice and pleasurable with your lover. Most people don’t have a clear picture of what BDSM is all about and thus think that it is a dark and terror filled thing. The media helps to vilify BDSM but it doesn’t have to be scary. It can be both loving and warm and very fulfilling for both partners.

BDSM is not all about intense pain and degradation, rather just enough erotic pain to enhance the orgasms and build the bond of trust and love between partners. Yes some people enjoy more intense sensation than others and yes you might encounter people that take a good beating. But if you think that’s all that BDSM is about, then you’re missing a huge world of pleasure that you could explore.

How can you learn to see the pleasure of pain? Well, start small for one. Like in the story above, use things that you already do during sex play and amp it up a touch. If you love having your partner nibble on your flesh, ask him to bite a little harder during heightened moments of passion. Add some ass spanking to your sex play (some guys do it by instinct). Playful spanking increases blood flow to the buttocks and genital region, which increases pleasure and sensation. Add a role-play element for extra impact. The point is to experiment and play with pain during sex play.

I suggest you take a look at the referenced links as there is a lot of really good information about sexual pain and pleasure and how they mix. Learning that some pain feels good to you can be shocking, but don’t let that get to you. However you experience your sexuality is normal. You don’t even have to call it BDSM if you don’t want to. Most of the world doesn’t. It’s just hot rough sex. Embrace it!

Thoughts to Ponder
What activities do you think you might enjoy that incorporate a bit of pain and pleasure mixed?
What experiences do you have with pain and pleasure? Are you a novice or experienced player?
I’ve read somewhere before that pain and pleasure are close together on the sensation spectrum. Do you agree?
Interesting Links
Pain and Pleasure by Reality Sandwich
The Sting is the Thing: Pleasure from Pain in BDSM Play by Frisky Business Boutique
What Is Sexually “Normal?” Rethinking Pain and Pleasure by Psychology Today
The Connection Between Sexual Pain and Pleasure by Huffington Post
Related Posts:
Ask lunaKM – Not Into Service, Emotional After Play and Explaining Pleasurable Pain
Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality
[Video Post] Is It Cheating When…
Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training
The Truth About Orgasm Control and Denial

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on June 01, 2015 07:00

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

Next week is our wedding anniversary. Not sure what we are doing yet but I’m hoping for a day trip somewhere and some romance. Ever since we got married we don’t tend to do any other celebrations; such as collaring or first met. Marriage is a huge thing to celebrate and embraces all of our other commitment ceremonies in one. We are in for the long haul folks and the love keeps growing. We’ve seen a lot of changes in the relationship since we said those vows, but we are still solid as a rock and I can’t see life without him.

Happy 4 Years Married Master KnyghtMare!

Have you heard the news yet? The Summer of Weekend Giveaways starts up next Thursday! We had a great time of if last year and I know we have some good prizes this year too! Don’t miss it. Subscribe to the site if you haven’t already so that you can get the notices every Thursday of the new giveaway.

As with all of Submissive’ Guide’s giveaways, you only need to enter your email address to win. Winners must be 18+ to win. Some giveaways are restricted to US or US/Canada only and will be marked if there are limitations.

Giveaways run from Thursday through Sunday every week this summer until we run out of prizes!

Join the growing list of supporters and fans!
Servers Upgraded! Thank you for the support. Next Goal: Monthly WebinarsI work hard to write and produce the content and I don’t ask for much in return. Supporting the site is a small way you can show me that you appreciate my efforts. If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a patron of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $3 US a month you can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation.

Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

When Needs Change: How Communication Worked When My Partner Didn’t Want to Be Dominant Anymore
Submissive Guide’s Summer of Weekend Giveaways Returns!
[Paid Position] Regular Contributors Wanted

If you’d like to stay up to date with articles on Submissive Guide, please subscribe to the feed.

Ask lunaKM Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask lunaKM Quickies – Out of Spit and Can You Toughen Up Nipples

Ask your question, anonymously, to get a chance for me to answer your question on the site.

Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2014: Thoughts on Isolation by kaya
In 2013: Single in the Scene Part III: The Slave Resume by charmed blyss
In 2012: Ask SehAnru | The Trap of Self Expectations
In 2011: How to Talk Dirty
In 2010: When Worlds Collide by mrsK

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

What does it mean to submit? Submission is a matter of attitude, a matter of the spirit. What does it mean to obey? Obedience is a matter of the conscience, a matter of outward behavior. Submission is inward, whereas obedience is outward. – Witness Lee (The Difference Between Submission and Obedience)
“Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told.” – Unknown
Subscribe to Submissive Journal Prompts to get them as they are released!

Featured Podcast of the Week – Kink in the Chain

Season 2 Episode 3 – Kink in the Chain Podcast

28 May 2015, 6:00am GMT

→ Kink in the Chain Podcast

Season 2 Episode 3 News Link: Man walks woman on dog leash through Staten Island Mall This week we answer three questions: How to do I play in public? Is there such a thing as monogamy in BDSM? How do I know if someone shares my kinks? As a side note, I have a special […] The post Season 2 Episode 3 appeared first on Kink in the Chain Podcast.

MP3 audio (21MB, 23min)

Podcast RSS

iTunes subscribe

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Published on May 31, 2015 10:00

[Paid Position] Regular Contributors Wanted

Do you want to make a bit of extra money and help support an excellent submissive resource?

I’m always looking for guest posts about anything pertaining to BDSM and submission. If you think you are a good fit for the writing that already exists here I’d love to talk with you. I’m looking for a regular contributor that would be responsible for at least one post a month on a topic of their choosing. You will be responsible for setting a deadline that works for you and sticking to it.

Submissive Guide has changed its guest post submission guidelines and I am now offering $15 US for each guest post (see terms). There is no limit to the number of submissions you can send in.

Personal Essays should be intimate, revealing, and surprising. They should show a ‘real life’ perspective and make an emotional connection with the reader. I am NOT looking for erotica, poetry or journal type writing.

Informational Essays should be concise and easy to understand, with properly researched and referenced sources.

Advice Articles should include useful and applicable information that individuals & couples can really use. We don’t want to give overly cliche’d ‘how-to’ suggestions, rather we are looking for insightful & concrete ideas.

Book Reviews should be complete and thorough and include analysis of the writing style, methods and information contained. Comparisons with other written works are welcome.

Expectations

Individual Guest Posts

All work submitted must be original. These are articles that are submitted on an irregular basis. You must agree that the guest post will not be published elsewhere for at least 6 months. There is no monetary compensation for these posts at this time.

Regular Contributors

All work submitted must be original. You must commit to a deadline that will consistently work for you. You will sign an author release that grants Submissive Guide rights to use your work in any Submissive Guide produced publications and that you will not publish the content elsewhere for 12 months. Payment via PayPal is $15 US per post after the first two published submissions.

How to Apply

If you are interested in being a regular contributor, please send your biographical information along with 2 original articles that will fit with Submissive Guide’s purpose to subguide@gmail.com

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Published on May 29, 2015 07:00

Submissive Guide’s Summer of Weekend Giveaways Returns!

Hi folks!

It went so well last summer that we are doing it again! A full Summer of giveways just for you! tequilarose and I have been busy behind the scenes and have put together some wonderful prizes for you to win all summer long!

You’ll have your pick of some of the best of our affiliates and authors in the scene. Don’t miss out!

Starting June 4th, and every weekend until we run out of prizes, we’ll host a new giveaway right here on the blog. Entry is simple, we just need an email address for most prizes. International entries permitted unless stated in the giveway announcement.

Contests run from Thursday through Sunday.
Some prizes are limited to US or US/Canada. These will be clearly marked on the giveaway announcement.
Make sure you use an email address that you check often. If I don’t get a response within 24 hours I will move on and draw a new winner.

Do you have a prize you’d like to donate to the Summer of Weekend Giveaways? Contact me at subguide@gmail.com!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on May 28, 2015 07:00

Ask lunaKM Quickies – Out of Spit and Can You Toughen Up Nipples

hi Luna, I am new to this sub world. Very interested yes.. My question is what do you do when you run out of spit in your mouth for all the blow jobs he wants? My mouth gets dry bc of meds and i am unsure how to handle this. TY

I did have to chuckle as I’ve never really had this problem personally but I can sympathize! I’m sure that if he wants that many blow jobs he’s going to have to make adjustments so that you can please him. Since you are on medications that reduce your saliva production you’ll have to have a substitute on hand. Keep a glass of water next to the bed to rehydrate as you go, and invest in flavored lube. Not only will it help your hands glide over him more easily but it will also make oral easier.

Hello luna!!

my question seems very silly to me, but i really do need advice. i have no friends in the lifestyle, so i don’t have anyone to talk to besides Master. He and i have talked about it, but He said He can’t really offer me any help. i am having problems with nipple play. Master loves it, and while i don’t love it (yet) i do like it. But my nipples are very sensitive and it hurts a lot. Do you have any advice on how i can get over this hurdle and, for lack of a better word, “toughen up” my nipples? Thanks for any advice you can offer!!

Unfortunately it’s not something you can do. Toughening up your nipples, like for breastfeeding as an example, is an old wives tale. You just can’t do that. My suggestion is have a way of telling him that you’ve reached a limit with the nipple play without stopping play. He has to learn what will work for you and what joy and pleasure he can get from what you can handle. There’s no reason to push yourself past a physical limitation like this unnecessarily. It’s possible that you’ll adjust, but it’s also possible that you won’t. It’s not a hurdle to get over, it’s a learning experience. You’ve learned your nipples are very sensitive and you can’t handle the intense play he likes on them. So he needs to back off a bit and get his pleasure in some other way.

I have the opposite issue. My nipples have to be played with roughly in order for me to feel it. Soft gentle touches and even my own nipples hardening I just can’t feel. It’s like they are numb. KnyghtMare would love for me to be able to respond more to the light touches but since I can’t he adapts.

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on May 27, 2015 07:00

When Needs Change: How Communication Worked When My Partner Didn’t Want to Be Dominant Anymore

BDSM is all about mutual respect between dominant and submissive, master and slave. If there is a lack of respect in either direction things are likely to deteriorate quickly. Part of respect is understanding that your partner is entitled to their own needs, wants, and opinions and that these are aspects of your partner that need to be accepted and embraced whenever they come up in your relationship.

My partner and I took a step back from the lifestyle this semester while we have been sorting through a myriad of relationship changes rooted in changes to where we will be living and figuring out what we really need from one another. The Lifestyle was one of the things that we have recently begun to discuss. He does not want to be a full-time Dominant anymore. He said that his desire to be in that role was based in a lot of different factors that are no longer relevant to him.

My partner was willing to leave the lifestyle entirely – but, though I am the submissive partner, I needed to make sure my voice was heard too. What did I need? What did I want? I asked some questions to understand where my partner was coming from with his desire to step outside the role that he has embodied for about a year, even on the break he would assert himself sexually when he came to visit. I sought to understand his views and then I made sure that I communicated mine.

My partner and I were together prior to our transition into the lifestyle. I am a strong and independent woman outside of the lifestyle and do not need or crave high levels of direction – I am pretty self-sufficient and confident in being so. I liked having someone there to give me directions and be a Dominant day-to-day but I did not need it.

But sexually, I do. I love BDSM sex. I love the beatings, I like the commanding tones, being told I cannot cum, I love knife play, and I love acting out in order to receive retribution. I was not willing to give that up just because my partner no longer needed to be a Dominant for his own sake.

I did not make an ultimatum, as ultimatums rarely go well, but rather, I expressed to my partner what I was feeling and thinking. I told him that I really enjoyed the sex that we explored more and more in the lifestyle. I like the roles that we adopted and how much our level of comfort with each other and with our own sexuality changed. I did not want that exploration and incorporation to end.

My partner and I discussed this and generated a plan. We would continue to incorporate kink and BDSM into the bedroom aspect of our relationship – not all the time, but regularly. We would not fall into the roles of Dominant and submissive outside of the bedroom, and while the habits are still there we will be working to reduce the instances of these popping up in our relationship.

Through open communication and the ability to listen to one another, we were able to come to a conclusion that met both of our needs.

Luckily our needs were more compatible than not, which allowed us to reach the decision that we did. If is important to note, however, that there are situations in which your needs may be vastly different from those of your partner, do not sacrifice your needs for your sake. You need to be in a relationship (romantic, sexual, etc) with someone who can meet those needs, and that person is out there.

Had my partner been unwilling to continue to participate in kink with me, or had I felt strongly that I needed a fulltime Dominant, then we would have needed to go our separate ways because each of our needs are important.

If your partner is unwilling to listen to your needs and incorporate them into how they live, how they play, and the dynamic that your relationship has, then they are not being a good Dominant and their behavior is controlling rather than an aspect of the lifestyle.

As always, be safe, be sane, and make sure that all aspects of your relationship, in and out of the bedroom, are consensual!

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.

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Published on May 26, 2015 07:00

Day of Remembrance: US Memorial Day

Please take some time today to honor the original reason Memorial Day exists.

We need to put the “memorial” back in Memorial Day and observe the day as it was originally intended. We need to decorate the graves of the fallen, visit their memorials, and support the care of these cemeteries and memorials so that their ultimate price, their ultimate loss is not taken for granted. To honor our military dead does not validate war, leave that debate behind for just this day. Consider giving your support to restoring the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day to the 30th of May. “Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.” — VFW web site [www.vfw.com/amesm/memorialday.shtml], Feb 2002

photo by The US Army

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Published on May 25, 2015 07:00

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

Hi folks,

You know how I said that May was really busy? Well that’s my excuse for not doing the last 2 weeks of Reflections. Tomorrow KnyghtMare and I are going to a friend’s house for festivities. It’s been a long time since I’ve celebrated a summer holiday with people other than KnyghtMare and I’m looking forward to mingling. The burgers or hotdogs will be wonderful. How will you celebrate your Memorial Day (US)?

Join the growing list of supporters and fans!
Servers Upgraded! Thank you for the support. Next Goal: Monthly WebinarsI work hard to write and produce the content and I don’t ask for much in return. Supporting the site is a small way you can show me that you appreciate my efforts. If you love what Submissive Guide provides, the site has helped you in some way or you just feel that you want to support a positive influence in the BDSM and D/s communities you can now become a patron of Submissive Guide through Patreon.com! For as little as $3 US a month you can show your support and help me reach goals to bring this site into the next level of service and content creation.

Check out my page on Patreon.com and become a fan of Submissive Guide!

Now for the week in review:
This Week on Submissive Guide

This section highlights the articles posted this week on Submissive Guide and other updates to the blog, if any.

Lost Wisdom – Submissive Mediation Monday
Book Review: Bondage Snippets by Verianna LaCroix by tequilarose
How The 50 Shades of Grey Series and Movie Have Impacted the BDSM Lifestyle

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Ask lunaKM Advice Column

The advice column where I try my best to help you with your questions and personal situation challenges.

Ask lunaKM – New to BDSM, where do I find Information?

Me and my boy friend have recently become interested in a D/s relationship I want more information but I’m not sure where to look.

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Dug Out from the Archives

Let’s dig into the archives and reconsider some of the older articles on Submissive Guide that you may have missed.

In 2014: Humor and Submission: Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two) by Lazlo Toth
In 2013: #domsubchat Transcript of Twitter Chat – Introducing BDSM to a Partner
In 2012: Ask SehAnru | Painfully Shy and New
In 2011: You Should Never Assume That All Information is Known
In 2010: Review: The Compleat Slave

Browse the categories to see what else is on the site.

Recent Journal Prompts

Submissive Journal Prompts is a thinking prompt and quote site that can help you with topics for your journal or your own thinking.

Is power exchange a need or a want in your life?
“We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. I speak of the erotic as the deepest life force, a force which moves us toward living in a fundamental way.” -Audre Lorde
Have you ever been asked by your Owner to switch and play the top with another submissive?
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Featured Podcast of the Week – Poly Weekly

PW 432: Navigating poly vacations

18 May 2015, 3:59pm GMT

→ Polyamory Weekly

Navigating poly vacations. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

MP3 audio (55MB, 40min)

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Published on May 24, 2015 10:00