Pat Hatt's Blog, page 56

Up To One Or A Ton?

You see it here and there. At many a lair. The numbers game is had. Some love it at their pad. That we've done. But what about the one?

No Matrix remake.
Drown that in a lake.
Will probably be a 4.
But skip that tour.

Instead, look at me.
1000s come to be.
Flock to you like shit.
Making everything a hit.

Everything that's said.
Even if brain dead.
All latch onto every word.
Following like a herd.

That makes you grand.
Let's give you a hand.
A thousand hands or so.
Look at them grow.

None you know.
Can create a foe.
But still know none.
Let's give another 1000 a run.

Look at him.
He's so grim.
Only a little bit.
Can't have that shit.

All they know.
None eat crow.
Not creating a foe.
Not reaching a new low.

But look at me.
I'm higher than thee.
That makes me best.
Beats all the rest.

Oh, they have more.
Follow my encore.
Add me to the pile.
I'll love you all the while.

You have friends?
Know their trends?
What's important in that?
I have thousands following my scat.

What's more important to you? The numbers game coming due? Knowing many that you follow or staying all nice and hollow? Sometimes you need the numbers to get that ten second look. On it many could write a book. I'd rather have fun with those I know and then the numbers shall grow. I'll ignore the ones who shout I've got thousands in mass. Pffft as they try and puff themselves up to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Squawk Of The Talk!

Humans sure like to yap. Their lips surely flap. But that you know, as you are one at your show. Unless tabbies or other cats who come on by. Then you've seen their lips fly. But what's the point? Easy at our joint.

Get to the point.
A saying that is said.
One many rarely anoint.
Maybe that saying should drop dead.

For away you go.
A flap and yap.
The same kinda flow.
Both filling the gap.

You trust it as far as you can throw it?
Wow, look at you.
Wordy by more than a bit.
Only don't trust it needed to come due.

Happy as a pig in shit.
Do pigs really like that?
Wordy once again took a hit.
They're happy is all that needed to chew the fat.

Run like hell.
While not wordy.
Can hell run swell?
Just say "run" flip the rest the birdie.

If he had brains he'd be dangerous.
And what if you couldn't squawk?
Would you be strangerous?
He's dumb works as away you walk.

Couldn't find their way out of a paper bag?
Damn, that would sure suck.
Is saying they are dumb a drag?
Maybe it's a polite way to pass the buck?

The straw the break's the camel's back.
Do camel's carry straw by the sack?
Can one straw cause such an attack?
Does saying "that's it" simply lack?

I want to have a word with you.
Let's talk is so yesterday.
When need to be wordy too.
Especially when getting in our say.

I've ended up in worse places than this.
And I bet it was sooo bad.
It could be worse brings no bliss.
Start getting wordy a tad.

Ever notice that? Did you catch on to the cat? On and on you go when few words are needed at one's show. Does colorful make it better to hear? Fluckity fluck it in one's ear? Will that make them do more? Sure beats me at my shore. What? I've used them also in mass? Bah, it was just so you'd feel comfortable reading my long winded little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Post Is Done...What Fun?

This post is now done. I'll go for a run. Yep, done like dinner. Isn't that a winner? Unless dinner isn't done, but today we'll ignore that one. Did you comment yet? Need to be done before it is even set.

Done now.
Raise an eyebrow.
Why? I'm done.
Done with a run.

No run is shown.
Not on computer or phone.
But I'm suddenly done.
Not under the gun.

Under beats straight on.
Isn't that a con?
Beats going under the knife.
Better off staying under the wife.

Or husband too.
Equal opportunity at our zoo.
Did I use that right?
Bah, I was done before it took flight.

That's right all.
Done at my hall.
Done without a single word.
That isn't absurd.

I stopped before I started.
Oops, I farted.
I just had to share.
After all, I'm done at my lair.

I can't stop if I never start.
But I'll take it to heart.
For without a start I did stop.
Isn't that a brain flop?

Stop before I start.
Like clothes at Wal-Mart.
They stop and start away.
Butt cracks on display.

This post is done.
Time I run.
Time I ate.
A common trait.

Wow, I'm still going.
What's with this showing?
I stopped before I started.
Did that saying just get parted?

Did you stop before you read? Did I hurt your head? How can you stop if you never started? The idea was never fully carted. You never even began the task. Wow, you humans must have taken one too many hits from the flask. But this post is now done and whoops, I started to make it stop its run. The cat proved wrong yet another pass. It is so fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

An Off With No On Can Sure Dawn!

This post is so cool. So cool that you will drool. The drool may even freeze. May get stuck that way if you sneeze. Hold on, cool is hot? We are so cool then with our hot to trot.

A grand post.
Loved at each coast.
It let's me boast.
Humans I roast.

Not literally though.
That's a no no.
Cannibals aren't in right now.
Maybe next year they'll wow.

Back to great.
So great none can relate.
How do I know?
Because I'm not low.

Nope, I'm off the charts.
Me and my farts.
I'm off so swell.
Let's raise some Hell.

Really confused?
Now I'm amused.
I raised what you can't,
And went off something I was never on at my plant.

Even made me wordy.
Could flip me the birdie.
But that would be mean.
Not really, at my scene.

Because I'm off the charts.
In all your hearts.
Off what charts though?
Do charts even show?

Can I go off what's not there?
Does this mean I have a glitchy lair?
Does it go off your screen?
Bah, who cares, as off the charts is serene.

Even if I never got on.
Off sure did dawn.
Nope, not a con.
For I'm off with no on.

Are the charts small?
Damn it all.
Just go with it with me.
I'm off the charts at my sea.

Can you still see this post? Hmm guess I'm not off any charts at my coast. Maybe they let me back on for today. Are you off the charts at your bay? Which charts would they be? Are you as chart happy as me? At least they aren't pointy like being off the hook. That could stab you at your nook. Charts could give you a paper cut I suppose. Or the screen of death may strike a pose. Bah, enough with my question pass, for I'm an off the charts little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Never The Case To Embrace!

The cat has done this mile as such things add to the pile. But you never see the reverse. Doesn't that make you curse? They can bring death and disease, but they don't ever give you a lighter tease.

Side effects at play.
So many they say.
They run them down,
Leaving you with a frown.

No more of that.
Trust in the cat.
We've got the one for you.
Take it and you'll be brand new.

Trilopity is it's name.
Curing warts is its claim.
But it can do so much more.
It is the pill of lore.

It burns fat.
Just like that.
What that is,
Isn't our biz.

It renews eye sight.
You'll see in the night.
You'll be as bat eyed as a cat.
Add that to goodbye fat.

Then add on muscles.
Like that guy from Brussels.
Muscles will grow and grow.
You'll join any muscle bound show.

It will increase brain power.
So much Einstein would cower.
You'll cure everything.
Hope eternal shall spring.

It will make all love you.
You'll have a lovey dovey view.
All will bow at your feet.
Even do things that are umm sweet.

Your teeth will re-grow.
How? I don't know.
But grow they will.
Along with your umm thrill.

So grab some Trilopity today.
It is sure the way.
You cure warts and get all of that.
It's only $15,678.89 per pill where you're at.

Don't you want Trilopity now? It can really wow. And no bad side effects for you. Until the crazies all love you. Then you may get shot if you ignore their view. Hey, but they'll love you as they do it to you. Don't you wish such side effects were true? It only takes $15,678.89 to find out for each lad and lass. You can make the checks payable to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

About Time You Do At Your Zoo!

The cat has to roll his eyes once more as humans use this one at their shore. What they really mean is poor pitiful me. No one is paying attention and I'm getting no glee. But I suppose that is wordy, so they flip that the birdie.

I've come to see.
See little old thee.
How lucky are you?
I know it is true.

What was that?
You're talking to the cat?
I guess he needs attention.
Did you hear what I mention?

I had this and that.
Why still talking to the cat?
Did you hear what I said?
Are you going to bed?

I guess I'll leave.
What's on you're sleeve?
That is a lot of cat hair.
How do you stand it at your lair?

I couldn't do that.
Still talking to the cat?
I guess it's that time.
I'll repeat my leaving chime.

Look at this door.
It is something of lore.
It fits perfectly in.
That sure is a win.

Well I guess I'll go.
I'm leaving, you know.
I'm still standing here.
But I'm leaving, I fear.

Did you ever stand so long?
One's legs need to be strong.
Standing like this is rough.
You need to have the right stuff.

It's about time I head home.
I am done with my roam.
I'm leaving you here.
Wow, is that new gear?

That looks nice.
What was the price?
I'd like to hear it,
As I'm leaving in a bit.

Ever get one of those? They say they are leaving as they strike a pose? Just trying to get attention as they won't take the hint. You'd rather sit by yourself and pick off lint. But oh no, a leaving they will go. A leaving with no leaving coming due. And they say it 50 times over too. They must have breathed in some more funky gas than what comes from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Flip Flop Hate Drop!

Today is the lovey dovey day. So the Hallmark cards and idiots upon high make you believe at your bay. And like sheep many go to it. So let's pretend it is really a hit. Except let's reverse and make all curse.

It's Valentine Day.
An ass hanging on display.
One with a diaper full of shit.
My, that is lovey dovey by a bit.

Actually more creepy.
But don't get weepy.
At least not yet.
Wait for Reverse Valentines Day from this pet.

Your eyes are beady.
You are rather seedy.
You breath really smells.
I hate how you ring those bells.

You never pick stuff up.
You shed more than a pup.
You always clog the drain.
You are so pimpsy with rain.

You have too many shoes.
I hate your boos and your hoos.
Yes, those pants make your ass look big.
When you laugh you snort like a pig.

You laugh at stupid crap.
You'd get lost even with a map.
You drive like a two year old.
You stick to me worse than mold.

Your friends just annoy.
You act like a little boy.
You care more about your crap.
I hate how your lips always flap.

You say the stupidest things.
Your mind must be lost in the wings.
You repeat things 50 times over.
Did I mention you shed worse than rover?

Look, you've rubbed off on me.
I'm repeating myself like thee.
You are simply the worst thing ever.
Nothing about you is clever.

But don't despair.
Even with your ugly looking hair.
For there is no reason for dismay.
It's just happy Reverse Valentine's day.

Aren't you going to celebrate with the cat? Hmm you may get turned to scat. You will have to scatter like me too. That is if you want to live the day through. Might get a divorce as well. Reverse Valentine's Day will sure raise hell. Might need to think up a less wordy name. But then anything Valentine's is rather lame. So enjoy reversing it on lad or lass. Just don't come whining to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

You'll Just Know And Won't Eat Crow!

I will tell you a lot today. So much you may not know what to say. But aren't you supposed to? You humans are nuts at your zoo. Not in a good way. That I just had to say.

Pass it along.
Can't do no wrong.
Say what I said.
No punch to the head.

Grass Gringle.
Forts Mingle.
Tops Flutter.
Midgets Stutter.

Repeat those words.
Repeat to nerds.
They'll know what you mean.
Trust me, it's clean.

For Home.
Gnarly Gnome.
Frigid Hoops.
Grunk Loops.

Tell it to teachers.
Shout from the bleachers.
They'll know what you mean.
Say it like a teen.

Work Love.
Grove Shove.
Pimple Tours.
Tables Fours.

Repeat to a builder guy.
Away they will fly.
They'll know what you mean.
There will be no punch to the spleen.

Wiggle Terms.
Vile Worms.
Groggy Pests.
Purity Crests.

Roar Times.
Frosty Mimes.
Poor Grass.
Rhyming Ass.

Tell them to a stranger.
There will be no danger.
Not even a wtf look.
They'll know what you mean at your nook.

Ever get told something dumb to tell another? Did you think, oh brother? You have no idea what it means and yet they do on their screens. You could be passing super secret stuff. Or maybe it is all fluff. Or something that can make you end up in jail. Sorry, we have no money for bail. But if you want to say rhyming ass to the singing bass, he'll know what you mean with such a pass. You can trust my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

With This Report We Go Long And Short!

We have a story for you today. It will be short so you can be on your way. Yeah, it really won't take very long. This post can do no wrong. You will be ready to go soon. You can trust, not really, this rhyming loon.

There was a guy,
That couldn't fly.
But he had such pride,
That he jumped from a plane ride.

The plane was big.
The pilot danced a jig.
There was a pig.
Some woman even had a wig.

The wig was blonde.
Hard to see beyond.
I think it was cat hair.
Not sure at my lair.

My lair is great.
I'm sure you can relate.
I can't get enough.
It has all my stuff.

My stuff is fine.
Loved by the feline.
Towers and furry balls.
Chase those down the halls.

The halls are narrow.
Oh look, a sparrow.
Not the Captain Jack one.
How many of those have been done?

Do they need any more?
They are such a bore.
One and done would have been nice.
But can't roll those dice.

Have you ever rolled dice?
They can come at a price.
They can take all your money.
That sure isn't funny.

Don't you think it funny?
Funny in a rainy day not sunny.
The sun is shining too.
Or maybe that was yesterday's view.

Oh right, the report.
Well to make a long story short.
He jumped from the plane ride,
And then he went kersplat and died.

Didn't you love my short story? The end wasn't too gory. Hey, I made the long story short. What? I never had other things to report. I never jabbered on about this and that. Hmm long story short kinda fell flat? Shouldn't it be long story shorter? Leave out things like every news reporter. Some humans are sure blabbermouths in mass. Glad I'm not a long-winded little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Screw You...We Mean All New!

Today we are going to give you an all new rhyme. It will even impress a scary mime. It will be so all new. It may even blind your view. I warned you too. So you can't sue. Or you can try. But can't get anything from a cat or broke guy. Unless you want litter. Okay, let's go before you get bitter.

This is all new.
It is all true.
It is our best yet.
Nothing but net.

All new prize.
We tell no lies.
All new it is.
Love the all new biz.

All new this.
It's all new, Miss.
All new that.
Nothing like that old scat.

Looks the same?
Bah, old was lame.
This is all new.
Believe it to be true.

We didn't adjust.
In us you can trust.
We didn't cut back.
Don't believe such flack.

This is all new.
Believe it to be true.
Believe and it will be.
It's all new, you see?

I protest too much?
Bah, don't think and such.
Just let it sink in.
Then it is a win.

For it is all new.
Not brand for you.
But all new.
Brand hasn't a clue.

False it is not.
Believe in our plot.
We cut out this and that,
But we keep that under our hat.

Just focus on all new.
That is where you see what's true.
Focus and you will believe it.
Even if we are full of shit.

Don't you love the all new? Especially when it is not true. That you could try and sue. May shut the idiots up with the all new. I saw it on one of those charity prize draw things the other day. They took three of the big prizes, restructured to make it "all new" and then took one away. So you pay the same price for a ticket and lose one more chance at a prize. But nope, they weren't telling lies. Suffice to say I screwed with them a bit and the more they spoke, the more you knew they were full of shit. Oh yeah, this rhyme was an "All New" pass. I keep it all new with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.