Pat Hatt's Blog, page 53

A Silent Post Gets A Toast!

Did you hear about the cat who didn't say a word? Nah, me either as that is absurd. But silence must come due. Humans made up the word so it has to be true.

Ramalamadingdong.
That is some song.
It can do no wrong.
Like supercalifragilisticexpalidious it is long.

Humans made those.
Don't curl you nose.
You know you did.
So silence can't be hid.

Thinking at your sea?
What is in the head of me?
Sure not silent up there.
You may get lost and swear.

Silence was broken.
Whoops, need a new token.
It can be broken if never there.
Ramble on at your lair.

But...but...but.
No buts at your hut.
There is a buzzing sound.
See? Silence isn't found.

Let's say it is.
Some spacely biz.
That could be the way.
A clean room display.

But you still need to be quiet.
That may make some riot.
But I guess it can be done.
Some humans can give a shut the hell up run.

Oh, you don't like that?
Remaining silent where you're at?
That means nothing, right?
Whoops, wrong again at your site.

Silence is something.
So something did spring.
Hey, you made the word.
Don't flip me the bird.

Silence and bird flipping.
Would that be double dipping?
Both can mean the same.
Damn, what a confusing silence game.

The cat sure went off there. Did I create silence to spare? Are you going to give me the cold shoulder? Don't sit there and let your brain smolder? Hhmmm cold and hot? That's another trot. I'll now stop with the silent sass from my not so silent little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Round Sixty Four Takes The Tour!

The search engine nuts sure take their time. I guess they don't like being talked back to in rhyme. But then the cat heard Google was to blame. Oh well, still a few that come with their crazy claim.

it is new and old at the same time clue

You want a clue? Sorry to disappoint you.

little boy with big boobs drawings

Why you looking for that? Weirdo alert at our mat.

monkeys sniff each other

And they throw shit. Don't you love it?

awful suit

Bare as can be. No suit on me.

anderson silva

No c or t. Can't spell cat to find me.

guy with wandering eye drives bobcat

An actual cat or a thing that will squash people flat?

perverted santa pics

Have a thing for jolly old Saint Nick? Want to play with his umm candle stick?

awful suits

So plural this time? Told you I'm bare already in rhyme.

penelope parkenfarker pink and people

Pink people you say? Like a perverted Oompa Loompa at play?

cat rhymes with dirt

Nope, you fail. Hit the trail.

copycat copycat sitting on the doormat rhyme

Don't copy.
Eat a poppy.
Get high.
Oh me, oh my.

bitcoinpile

Sorry, no criminals here. No fake piles, or real, anywhere near.

valhalla stinks

Did Thor take a shit? Godly crap isn't a hit?

nic cage eagle head

Does his acting career even thrive? Is he even still alive?

And now the winner has another retort. One from a previous retort. I guess they wanted to get more definite at their sea. And they still found little old me.

monkey sniff balls man
So a primate fetish at your see? Is that like ancient porn coming to be? Do I really want to know? I'd vote no on giving that a go. But you can track down monkey loving man if you like. He may get hit in the balls and think it a strike. Wouldn't you love to see that come to pass? We are so glad we are a snip snipped little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Invaders Return Like A Fern!

The cat can't keep them out. Cassie let's them walk about. Now Pat brought one in. That is just a sin. He let him play on my tower. I think I need a new way to make them cower.


Here we are.Alone at our sand bar.Pat talks to us.We don't cuss.

I just wanted a nap.Pat is such a sap.He thought I shunned him.Then things got grim.

He put him up here.That gets an, oh dear.How can this be?After all the work from me.

He's exploring.He stopped my snoring.This will not do. Can't have a fluffball in view.

 He's looking toward the hole.That is his goal.That's my spot.He has to be caught.

Cassie let it happen.Maybe I should stop flappin.I could use it as a trap.I'll smack that sap.

Cassie sees me coming.With him she is chumming.What? She's far away?Bah, still chumming I say.

I'm ready to strike.He has to take a hike.Get out here, you. I don't like your fluffy view.

Yeah, I'm talking to you. Don't back talk at my zoo.Try and jump on me.I'll make you flee.

Job well done.I made him run.Just with my cranky look. He left our nook.
What was that? You don't believe the cat? Bah, I really made him go. He was just another foe. A hiss, a spit and a whack and he left our shack. No one gets my tower. The senile guy has that power. That is only because Pat won't let me strike. Ever need to make anyone take a hike? Intruders sure are a pain when they come to pass. But they get pain when they mess with my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

Here Is A Story In All Its Glory!

The cat wanted to tell you a tale, but that kinda did fail. Maybe it failed because of strife. Maybe it failed because of life. Maybe it didn't fail at all. Beats me at my hall.

The cat was out.
Out and about.
What's with the about?
Right! Figured that out.

The story of my life.
Free from stress and strife.
Mocking each human sap.
I think it's time for a nap.

In urgent need.
Urgent need to feed.
Just all in your head.
You were just fed.

The story of my life.
Free from stress and strife.
Mocking each human sap.
I think it's time for a nap.

Money is tight.
It may bite.
That must suck.
Can you get out a buck?

The story of my life.
Free from stress and strife.
Mocking each human sap.
I think it's time for a nap.

Donate today.
Only $5645 you have to pay.
You'll get a big red nose.
Thought I'd say rose?

The story of my life.
Free from stress and strife.
Mocking each human sap.
I think it's time for a nap.

Beginning to end.
A beginning end trend.
That you need to amend.
Did I offend?

The story of my life.
Free from stress and strife.
Mocking each human sap.
I think it's time for a nap.

Damn, I'd really go all repeat if the story of my life hit the street. If I had to say that every time it would sure cut into each chime. Oh look, I just took a shit. I even buried it. Whoops, story of my life changed. Is your mind blown that it was rearranged? Does your life have one whole story? My, that must be boring with no glory. Hopefully it's a good re-run at least. Did you catch on to this furry beast? That saying was just said to me by a lass. So the not so singular story of my life came from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Dumb Parade With No Shade!

They just keep coming. The dumb love their humming. But that is not all they bring. They have to tag along something. What would that be? I challenge for it to be figured out by me.

Challenged we've gone.
No need for that con.
But the dumb brought it back.
Brains they lack.

That is a given.
Beats me how they're livin.
Probably off you.
Maybe me too.

But they can say.
Say to get you to play.
Why do they say?
Because they are they.

You should become they.
That is the way.
Makes them warm and tingly.
They want you to umm mingly.

So don't be a chicken.
The dumb are just pickin.
They don't mean it.
So come and be a hit.

I challenge you too.
Challenge you through and through.
So you have to accept.
Can't prove to be inept.

I put the challenge out there.
So now you are aware.
It is out there for all to see.
Don't you want to do it like me?

I challenge you to walk.
I challenge you to talk.
I challenge you to steal.
I challenge you to skip a meal.

I challenge you to get fat.
I challenge you to go in the road and lie flat.
I challenge you to join my group.
I challenge you to miss the ball in the hoop.

I want you to be like me.
But hey, I'm challenging thee.
So take up my moron ways.
It will get plenty of Youtube replays.

Don't you love idiots who use challenge as a way to make you dumb? Many seem to fall for it as they talk out their bum. Again, what is so challenging about most of that shit? The definition needs to be learned by many a dimwit. But I'll play along after completing my sass. I challenge you, oh so hard, get ready, to leave a comment for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Second None For Fun!

The cat will make this post none. Yep, isn't none fun? You'll see nothing here at all because this is none at my hall. None at all. None at my hall. A repeat none. Isn't that fun?

First was Hank.
Did he walk the plank?
Maybe a ninja attack.
Either way, none gets no flack.

For it is none.
None for fun.
A none run.
Run of the none.

For first don't count.
Nope, not an amount.
Not one bit.
First don't mean shit.

It is none.
None for fun.
None by the ton.
Did we do this run?

None doesn't exist.
Are you pissed?
You got none.
It's not like one.

It is none.
One none is fun.
Three nones is fun.
Stack them up when done.

They don't exist.
So won't be missed.
But that is the way.
None is out to play.

Play with you.
Yep, it's true.
Truth in the none.
Isn't that fun?

None's the way.
That's what you say.
Second gets best.
First fails the test.

Why is that?
Beats the cat.
For none just has fun.
This post is second to none.

Get where I was going with my showing? Are you confused? Yeah, that would make me amused. How can something be second to none? Can be second to one, but second to none? Isn't being second to something that doesn't exist fun? I think we should stick with first as the pass. No second to none-ing for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

All In View Are After You!

Did you see that? It was a cat. It may have been me. It may have been we. How are you to know? You see the wind blow? Now mother nature is after you. What are you to do?

That shadow is alive.
How will you survive?
It's watching you.
It is very true.

That rock knows as well.
That curtain raises hell.
That guy walking by...
I know he is a bad guy.

That hat on your head...
That sheet over the bed...
That flag flying in the air...
Those strands of ass hair...

They see me.
They are up a tree.
They are there too.
Wherever there is a view.

They are after me.
After me and my tree.
I can't live like this.
Did you hear that hiss?

They are after my money.
It so isn't funny.
They are after my job.
Me they want to rob.

They are after my house.
I see you...mouse.
You aren't getting me.
You or that fuzzy bee.

They want in.
They think it sin.
They watch everything I do.
It is very very very true.

She is against me.
Along with anyone you'd call he.
Heck, even everyone you'd call she.
I can't live free.

Everyone is out to get me.
I'm telling the truth to thee.
Wait, you are out to get me too.
It's a conspiracy that's true.

Pfffft is all the cat can say. A nut like this actually came our way. She thought everyone and everything were out to get her. The lines sure did blur. Or maybe that was her brain as it went on the nonsense train. Ever have to deal with a conspiracy nut who's all about me? Were they right saying they were being targeted by thee? That would probably be a no that came to pass. How such dumb people survive the day sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer. 

I Figure I'll Post At My Coast!

So I guess I'll post, whoops wrong one to boast. Guessing isn't the way. Figuring rules this day. Are you figuring things out yet? You will soon I bet.

Figuring out a post.
From coast to coast.
Stole a line.
But that is fine.

Figure I'll hear about it.
Maybe in a bit.
I figure it is like that.
I figure I'm right on the stat.

I figure this will run.
I figure it will be done.
I figure it may not be.
I figure I'm confusing thee.

One out of four may be right.
I figure those odds aren't a fright.
I figure it is okay.
I figure we'll be on our way.

You're still here?
My figuring isn't clear.
I figure I need to tweak it.
I figure there won't be a fit.

I figure I'll fit that in.
When will it take a spin?
I figure about next month some time.
I figure I'll never be a mime.

I figure you're on to me.
I figure you climbed that tree.
Not the one out your door.
I figure you knew that at your shore.

I figure and not guess.
I figure I better confess.
I figure that is wise.
I figure I tell no lies.

Guess I better retract.
Bah, pretend it is a fact.
I figure it will work.
Figuring is such a perk.

I guess I'm done.
Another rhyme spun.
I figure it's true.
Now I am off at my zoo.

Do you figure things a lot? Does your figuring ever create an actual plot? Did you figure out my rhyme? Are you still stuck on a tree climb? Go tree climbing if you like. Can climb on a hike. I figure that probably won't come to pass, but if so you can tell how it goes to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Right To Left Kinda Theft!

The cat lies about each day that I don't need to say. But I will still say it, as you humans go about the 9-5 bit. Although some can be a pain as they go the wrong yet right lane.

Here we go.
New job to do.
Look at that show,
An eye rhyme for you.

Double the rhyme.
Such a fun way.
New stairs to climb.
I'll have to try that display.

Back on task.
What was it?
No need to ask.
Out it I'll spit.

Rules set in place.
That they are.
Rules to embrace.
Don't leave the door ajar.

That is wise.
That is right.
I tell no lies.
I won't even bite.

Follow my instructions to the letter.
Don't waiver one bit.
Stick to them you better,
Or I'll put you in deep shit.

Hey, that was wrong.
It shouldn't have been done.
You didn't play along.
You aren't going to have fun.

Oh hey, look.
It was on the rules.
You followed my book.
Even used the right tools.

My bad.
Forget it.
I'll fix it a tad.
No need to hiss and spit.

You did what?
How could you?
Don't be a nut.
Whoops, I screwed that up too.

Ever deal with a rule nut? One really, really, really in a rule rut? Then you find out their rules were wrong and they try to sing a different song? Sometimes they may even try and blame you, but pffft to that at our zoo. We'll let them have it if that were the case. Such people do you embrace? On them we try to take a pass but then Pat does have to feed my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

An Entitled Free For Thee!

Here we are. A free rhyme near and far. It is free from me to you. Hmm but not the cable company at your zoo. Or would that be internet provider? I'll let you figure out that slider.

This rhyme is free.
Free as can be.
Errr umm not.
We spun that plot.

You pay for online.
You pay for it to align.
One way or another,
Even leeching off your mother.

But oh no.
It's a free show.
Let's think like that.
Then we can chew fat.

$1000 on that car.
Bah, that won't go far.
We should have it for free.
We have a big family you see.

You really want $10 for that?
I'll offer a fee that is flat.
You'll really love this fee.
What is it? Free!

Life is hard.
Need a mower for the yard.
I see you have a spare.
Give me it for free to show you care.

I'm free to ask.
Not a hurtful task.
Been there too.
Try again at your zoo.

You are soooo mean.
This is a free screen.
Why can't all be that way?
I may throw in a bale of hay.

That isn't worth $400 bucks.
I will use it for my ducks.
You should give it for free.
Don't you want to pity me?

Self entitled a bit?
Bah, who needs that shit.
Life is just really really hard on me.
Can't you accept my offer of free?

Ever deal with a free nut? They sure are in a self entitled rut. Many have money that they don't want to spend. Yet free they offer and expect you to bend. Those who really need things find a way, usually, at the end of the day. Those free nuts can suck on gas. That is all they are entitled to from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.