Pat Hatt's Blog, page 55

Time To Force With The Source!

This is a whole other kind of force. No need to go all Yoda on a golf course. Not sure why that popped in. We'll blame it on so and so for a win. What? We can't do that? Bah, you humans do it where you are at.

Ever reliable on the go.
This is something you need to know.
There is no reason not to tell.
This information is ever so swell.

It will swell your head.
You may want to stay in bed.
It will swell your face.
Are you ready to embrace?

The world will end today.
Yep, kaput at your bay.
Even here at little old mine.
That is so bad for the feline.

But how do I know?
Ever reliable on the go.
Reliable sources that is.
One is just a math whizz.

The other is a mathlete.
He really can compete.
Or it could be a she.
I'm not telling thee.

Another comes from far away.
They really know what to say.
They said it all times two.
They even had proof that I can't show you.

That tidbit is the best.
It stood them above the rest.
You can't beat my sources.
They even own their own horses.

Hmm did that give them away?
Nah, plenty of horses across the bay.
Or is there that many over there?
Bah, the world will end so what do I care.

Another source came to me.
He told me...or was it a she?
I can't tell you that.
But he told me the Earth is flat.

Can you believe that guy?
That source ran dry.
But these sources are true.
I swear that they have a clue.

Don't you love reliable sources at your sea? I'm sure they are so reliable that they charge a fee. Or maybe they are from outer space. Tinfoil hat people might embrace. I have a reliable source that says tomorrow will come. Don't you love the gullibility of the dumb? Hmm, did you fall for my reliable source pass? Hopefully not, or you may get made fun of by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Mandatory You Comes Due!

Did you know that after you read a single word it is mandatory to have your voice heard? Yeah, you just haaaave to leave a comment. If not, hate will sure be sent. Mandatory stuff. You can't get enough.

When you work,
Pays a perk.
You do what they say,
Or be on your way.

Within reason that is.
Try to avoid the illegal biz.
But when you gotta eat,
Ethics aren't a treat.

Hey, just saying.
But they're paying.
So follow the rules.
No anti-mandatory fools.

But on your own.
A mandatory tone?
Some say it's true.
Is that anything new?

Mandatory to check email.
Check it without fail.
10 times a day that is.
There may be a pop quiz.

Mandatory to mow the lawn.
On the same day at dawn.
Rain, snow, sleet or hail.
Damn, they stole that from the mail.

Mandatory to not be rude.
Go ahead and eat that food.
Even if allergic or you hate it.
Eat it and pretend you give a shit.

Mandatory to get married.
Alone you can't be buried.
So go out and mingle.
Have to get rid of that single.

Mandatory to feed the cat.
Yeah, can't let that fall flat.
For if you make a cat suffer woes,
They'll go and eat your toes.

Mandatory has come and gone.
Finding itself to be a con.
If in the end it seems to stick,
Kick the mandatory umm dick.

Are you all about the mandatory rules? Damn, some are sure made up by fools. Are you a mandatory email checker? Ready to eat that allergy causing sandwich double decker? Say that three times fast. It is mandatory to join the cast. Or umm maybe not. Don't you love the mandatory plot? Now I'll go pass some gas. It's a mandatory function of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Draw A Line So All Align!

The cat does it every day. I guess I can be an artist at my bay. Who knew I was so artistic at my sea? All it takes is going to have a pee. Hey, I draw a line when I bury it. I may make double when I shit.

Draw a line.
All is fine.
It you shall not pass.
Not even for bad gas.

Draw it in the sand.
Isn't that grand?
A line that fades,
As the tide wades.

A wise move for you.
With the line you can screw.
May get sand between your toes,
But an excuse to stoop to new lows.

My line is still there.
I am still aware.
But I had to re-draw it.
Life gave me too much shit.

So I made my line.
All is now fine.
In comes the tide,
Line takes a new ride.

I am lined up again.
Never fear at my den.
That's as far as I go.
I won't change for a foe.

The foe I dared.
My line is spared.
They crossed it.
They deserve a hit.

I never drew a thing?
Don't give me that ring.
I drew a line in the sand.
Even if no beaches at hand.

I drew it and it's true.
Pass it, I dare you.
It only moves when I say so.
You pass it and you are a foe.

You deserve flack and more.
Crossed it at my shore.
A fictional thing in my head.
But they caused me dread.

Do you make imaginary lines in imaginary sand? Do you go all Terminator when they are passed in your land? How exactly can you draw a line with no sand or paper? You humans sure make up many a weird caper. Using sand so you can change it at your will. That sure must keep you chill. Draw your fictional line in cement or something like that. Then you may be less full of scat. Not much more in mass. But a little less to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Structured Life Free From Strife!

Follow the flow here at my show. You will be happy and never sappy. That is just the way. Do you get what I'm trying to say? I bet you do as it has been ingrained in you.

One, two, three.
Another rhyme is here.
It has come to be.
So you stop and peer.

It is just the way.
The way you like.
You come to play.
Never taking a hike.

Just a little thing.
A little thing you do.
A fine thing to spring.
But is that all for you?

TV says how to dress.
So that you do.
Trends they confess.
Have to go with the new.

Works sets rules.
Those you have to follow.
They were made by fools,
And are many a time hollow.

But can't buck the trend.
It has been put in place.
Your employment will end,
If you don't embrace.

Have to eat a certain way.
You can't not be an eater.
That just doesn't play.
Not to snowmen or trick or treater.

Have to amass and believe.
Believe in a certain after life.
It helps you grieve,
And keeps away strife.

Have to vote a certain way.
Forget using your head.
No matter what they say,
Go with what's been led.

These are your boundaries.
Don't step beyond.
They were made up in ancient foundries.
So don't create ripples in the pond.

Don't you love the structure of your life? Wasn't even given to you by someone who matters like husband or wife. Nope, given to you by rules put in place and you automatically just embrace. Don't question or make a suggestion. That will be ever so bad. The structure police may end up mad. Just follow away as each day does pass. Trust, not really, my non-structured little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Disconnective Connect With No Neglect!

Pat is back with another non-rhyming book. He sure is getting a ton of those out at our nook. The cat will have to rhyme more to make up for it. It is a sequel to The Connective that was maybe, sorta, hopefully a hit. Hey, I am writing this far in advance. So I can't take a firm stance.

Click Here For A Peer!
Sally, Travis, and Billy continue to fight to survive in the aftermath of their battle with the demon, which forces Sally to do whatever it takes to provide for her son, Alex, and the others. But after an altercation puts them back in the eyes of The Connective, they find themselves dealing with a whole new reality.
Mysteries of the demon and the planes deepen as they go on an adventure that they never asked for to get their being back home. Entering planes they know nothing about, they must rely on each other now more than ever, especially when a new evil arises that wants to free the demon and end their lives. 
Fighting the odds with old friends, new friends, and weapons that hold a power only to them, they will stop at nothing to find the key that opens the doorway home. Together they remain determined to see each other through the many dangers of the planes beyond their own and survive by embracing The Disconnective.

So there you are another novel at our sand bar. Sound interesting to you? That makes another added to the pile at our zoo. This one flowed like the last. 20 days to write both books with this cast. 150K words in that time. Yeah, I brag a bit as I rhyme. It just wanted to be told and came to pass. That is all from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It Has Been Said Even If In Your Head!

Humans must have lots of voices in their head like me. For they sure go to it with glee. Or maybe they just prove they are full of crap. But hey, could be the voices in the head of each lass or chap.

Thoughts are spinning.
I'm sure winning.
At least I will.
I'll fit the bill.

They say...
Come what may.
Who are they?
What the hey.

They are me.
Shhhh may be we.
But they are here.
They just aren't clear.

They said so.
They created this flow.
It wasn't me.
They went on a spree.

They say...it's right.
They aren't in sight.
But they say it.
They aren't full of shit.

I'm right...I mean they.
It is what they say.
Don't put it on me.
They are on a spree.

Oh, don't say that.
You are full of strat.
I am the whelmed one.
For they say it isn't fun.

They say it is done.
They say under the gun.
They say what is spun.
They said it, Hon.

They said that.
Not the cat.
I cringed a bit.
They did it.

They say it is time.
Time to end this rhyme.
They say you will retort.
They filed their report.

Are you one of those? Do you strike a "they say" pose? If you can't win do you go with they say? Even when you never heard a they say at your bay? Just be lazy and go with the they. You can win an argument that way. They may be magical fairies in your mind, but they may get you out of a bind. They say I just passed some gas. They sure say so much about my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Present That's Quick Doesn't Click!

Pat tried to get off cheap this year. He gave a moving present to my rhyming rear. I guess since I am nine he doesn't want me to get fat. Pfffft if there is a chance of that.


There we were,Resting our fur.Yep, Cassie's there too. Hey, I'll show you.

 See? There she is.Doing the napping biz.She won't wake.I'll give her a shake.

What did I get today?Tell me, okay?I won't tell Pat.Don't look grumpy at the cat.

Is it in there with you?Nah, that can't be true.It has to be big. Maybe a new cat tower rig.

What is this?A gate doesn't cause bliss.Are you trying to keep me in? That will never work at any bin.

Cassie says she sees it. She sees every bit.She wants to show me.I think she wants it for she.

Whoops, she has an itch.Those can be a bitch.But can't you do that later?My present may fall into a crater.


Oh, so it's out there.Must be big if your aware.Will it come through the window. Better not be a crow.

What? It's up there? That small little thing is my present affair?Do you expect me to go catch and eat it?Pffft I'm too old for that shit.

I'll go back to napping. Pat better start clapping.He better get me a gift.Or I'll get him some swift.
Did you see my gift? Does it make your spirits lift? Hint, it is right on top. Pat really tried to get off cheap but it was a flop. I'm sure I'll get something better out of him or he'll lose a limb. That squirrel is still going strong. A year later he plays along. The dogs like to chase him in mass. He doesn't fight back like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Like Playing Chess With A Dress!

The cat runs around bare so he wasn't aware. But you humans sure have a way with your clothes. Some even will turn up their nose. Up, down and all around are easily found.

Look at you.
No nudist in view.
Can't have that.
Fine by this cat.

Even if easier.
Surely not pleasier.
Made me cheat rhyme.
That is just a crime.

Time to dress this up.
Sip tea from a cup.
Dress up to impress.
First move in dress chess.

Time to dress down.
No need for a gown.
Dress down when out.
It holds far more clout.

So dress down to dress up?
Trying to confuse a pup?
Dress up to dress down?
When the floor meets the gown.

Whoops, nudist once more.
Forget that encore.
You have to get dressing.
Can't leave any guessing.

1000's of options there.
Just give your closet a stare.
Pull open the latch.
Now mix and match.

But match while dressing.
That needs no confessing.
Mix and match but match.
Can't have a different patch.

Oh, and don't have a crinkle.
Don't forget that wrinkle.
A wrinkle on a wrinkle.
That give you a twinkle?

So dress up and down.
Go out on the town.
Dress down and then up.
May be a rum filled cup.

Do you play dress chess? Always going on about how you or others dress? Like dressing up or down? Dress code at your town? Geez, threw another one in. Dress chess has a code to give a spin. Can't break the code. Your dressing is one complicated mode. No wonder nudists like being free. Hey, all's good as long as they stay out of the eye of me. I'll now go roll in the grass with my naked little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Yeah Right With A Fright!

The cat knows you humans exaggerate a bit. We've given that a hit. You know it too, no matter how much one tries to believe it isn't true. But the cat will prove it more with this one of lore.

No matter what.
Come meteors or King Tut.
Wait, that's not right.
Still no matter what at your site.

No matter the thing.
No matter fall or spring.
Still not right.
Could cause spite.

Oh, here we are.
Not meteor or car.
Nope, even more swell.
Come high water or hell.

Whoops, the reverse.
Betsy may curse.
But even invasion of the killer otter,
She'll stop come hell or high water.

Killer clowns on the lose.
Golden egg serial killer goose.
Plague to everyone, everywhere.
Every single person loses their hair.

No matter what comes due,
It we will get through.
Or I'll get there.
Or some other promise to spare.

Water that sucks up the earth.
Yeah, my words sure hold worth.
Hell comes and burns everything down.
But yep, I'll get to your town.

Riiiight says the cat.
And I'm a big rat.
Maybe I'm a dog too.
Shhh don't share at your zoo.

For if you do,
Come hell or high water I'll get you.
When really if either came,
I'd flat out forget that claim.

But shhhh don't tell.
That may offend hell.
May render the saying moot.
Can't have it go down the garbage chute.

Ever think about how dumb it really is with the hell or high water biz? I've used it a time or ten. Would it really apply at any den? Probably not, as either would leave you suffering from umm rot. That or hiding away until either got you at your bay. But hey, at least Killer Otters you can stop. Maybe come killer otter or clowns should be taught. At least then you'd stand a chance with such a pass. Anyway, come hell or high water, not really, I'll remain a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

This Is Your Life Free From Strife!

The cat is here to tell you all. What will I tell at my hall? I'll tell you the life of some. You will sure love such a chum. It is just the best. They beat all the rest.

Today's the day.
The day I play.
Come what may.
Retired at my bay.

Let's take a drive.
Worth a dive.
I'll survive.
Make it out alive.

Stop in the parking lot.
See what can be caught.
Sit in my car and pick snot.
That helps me breathe a lot.

I'll sneak what I'm not allowed.
My, look at that small crowd.
These chips sure are great.
The wife will never know what I ate.

Let's move up two spots.
Pick my nose lots.
I've got such a good view.
Time for nostril number two.

Let's go for a drive.
A drive I'll survive.
It is such a merry day.
I wonder what's going on this way.

I'll come in and sit.
I'll shoot the shit.
The same shit I shot the day before.
Such crap I'll tell some more.

Repeat my life story.
Tell it in all its glory.
For I am oh so great.
No one anywhere can relate.

I'm old and wise.
I get the prize.
Everything I say is truth.
Even if I got it at the tourist booth.

Time to go home and sleep.
Tomorrow out I'll creep.
I'll do this over again.
Such a life at my den.

Is that really retired? If so, I'll stay hired. Pfffffffft to such crap. To each their own across the map. But can you imagine going to the same place with the same people talking the same crap every SINGLE day? Put me down if that ever comes to be at our bay. Are you one that likes that? Repeat the same things to death where you are at? Glad I got a writing pass so that will never ever come due for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.