Pat Hatt's Blog, page 59

What Is That Thing At Our Wing?

The cat usually doesn't join on in but this one even I gave a spin. I stared at it for a good long while. The others did in single file. I may have whacked a few as we all got a good view.


I tried Cass.She's a mean lass.She said I was dumb.Such a rude chum.

So I followed him.He's quite dim.But maybe he'd know.More came in tow.

A whole three.You don't see me?I was off to the side.Camera didn't go that wide.

There it is.Is there a quiz.What is that?A giant rat?

Feed me.Quiet thee!Senile cats can so annoy. Pat won't let me chase that boy.

The creature is here.Should I run in fear? It looks harmless enough,Doesn't have an ounce of fluff.

Won't look my way.How rude, I say. Show me that face.I don't have mace.

Is it taking a crap? What a rude chap.Or maybe just stuck.That other guy better not duck.

There is it's face.Is it supposed to be in this place?What the heck is it?Good that it didn't take a shit.

Give me food. A one track attitude.Or would that be mind?Either way, no sharing from my behind.
Do you know what that creature is? Should I put up a quiz? Bigfoot? Rat? Dog? Maybe it can have its own blog. What was that? It got it's fluff shaved where we are at? Pfffft don't believe what Pat tells you. It has to be an alien at our zoo. I just got an eye roll from Cass. But I'm sure you believe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Very Great, Very Very Very Mate!

The cat deals with many a nut many a day. At least at the time of writing this post at my bay. Hopefully in a year they'll be gone. But knowing my luck I'll end up with more at my lawn. Anyway this one has a squealy voice and surely likes to rejoice.

Say something simple.
Like popping a pimple.
It's easy to do.
At least for me and you.

Others it's not so.
They just need to glow.
Glow bright and loud.
Maybe hoping to draw a crowd.

Oh, excuse me.
I'm wrong at my sea.
We can't talk this way.
That would ruin their day.

We have to get going.
Get on with this showing.
Or make the showing longer.
Such words make it stronger.

What words are they?
You'll regret what you say.
Or would that be said?
Anyway, it hurts the head.

The was VERY VERY VERY good.
It was  SO SO SO SO GOOD in my hood.
Did you see that  GREAT GREAT GREAT game?
It was anything but REALLY REALLY REALLY lame.

I'm going to tell you what it was about.
I'm going to tell you how to shout.
I'm going to tell you what it was about.
I want you to LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN to my shout.

It was  VERY VERY VERY GOOD.
It was SO SO SO SO MISUNDERSTOOD.
It was JUST JUST JUST THE BEST.
It BEAT BEAT BEAT THE REST.

Did you hear me?
It was a sight to see.
Did you hear me?
It was a sight to see.

IT WAS VERY VERY VERY GOOD.
IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO GOOD WOOD.
JUST JUST JUST THE BEST AROUND.
Feel free to put head against wall and pound.

Yep, an over exaggeration nut and a repeat one. Don't you find those people fun? If you ever want a headache, there you go. You'll get one in a few seconds of so so so. I can understand using it once in a while. But for EVERYTHING, even mundane things in the pile. No thank you. Earplugs are sure needed when they come due. Work with any such nuts in mass? They come off a bit touched in the head to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Right Up There...Umm Where?

I will go right today. I can't go left they say. I can't go down, Has to be up without a frown. Or maybe there is a mix and match. We shall see what wants to hatch.

Wow, that was mint.
It had the best tint.
There was nothing wrong.
I'll sing its song.

But not just sing.
Try another thing.
I must compare.
Compare without a care.

I'll lazily compare too.
That is easy to do.
Nothing to it.
For it's the shit.

It's right up there.
Up there to spare.
Up there without a care.
It's right up there.

Right up there with me.
Nah, doesn't work for thee.
Right up there with a cane.
My, that is a fun lane.

Right up there with a car.
Wow, that must go far.
Right up there with the sky.
Whoops, too literal a try.

Right up there with Star Wars.
Can't beat Storm Trooper tours.
Right up there with a remake.
Shouldn't down that take?

Left and down.
It made me frown.
Left and up.
Just a hiccup.

But nope, can't do that.
That is scat.
Can't be middle middle.
One may think diddle diddle.

So right up there with...whatever.
That is so clever.
Up where? Beats me.
But right up there for all to see.

Do you know where right up there is? Are you a user of the right up there biz? Maybe the lazy compare? Do you compare on a dare? Am I asking too many questions of you? Was this right up there with anything at my zoo? Maybe it went down. That would give a frown. Hey, can always stay whelmed in the middle. Nothing wrong with a good diddle. That is if you haven't had a snip snipped pass. If so, you'd be right up there with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Lawn Gnome From Home!

They are just the best. They pass every test. They may be as swell as the rest. But they are still the best. So hear me speak. They deserve a peek. Why is that? Just follow the cat.

All are swell.
All have a story to tell.
But they are better.
They are a trend setter.

Yeah, be a sheep.
Go and beep.
Follow what you're told.
That never gets old.

Where was I?
Oh yeah, trend setting guy.
Or maybe girl.
Both give it a whirl.

They are the best.
Beat all the rest.
Even with the same skill.
They fit a better bill.

Others may be better.
But they haven't the letter.
The letters at the end.
That is something none can amend.

Some may lie.
Some may try.
But no matter how spry,
The truth shall fly.

Better than best.
A home town guest.
Never comes back.
But the best of the pack.

They are from your town.
So they get the best crown.
They are from your city.
That has to impress even an old bitty.

Why is that?
Haven't followed the cat?
They are from your place.
They are from where home you embrace.

So that makes them great.
All because you can relate.
You may have never ever met.
But they are the best bet.

Pffffft says the cat. Woweee they are from where you are at. You never met or even saw them in most cases and yet they give smiley faces. All because they lived in your town. Wow, they sure deserve a crown. Are you one of those? Do you strike a pose? Oh I lived where some famous nut came from. That makes me so great and then some. The cat will go back to rolling in the grass. Makes much more sense to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Listed Hate By The Crate!

The cat has seen it a time or two and I'm sure you have at your zoo. I seem to say that a lot. I guess I see things better than a robot. Maybe more need glasses? Bah, can't stop the contentment of the sheep masses.

Look at my list.
It's not to be missed.
What? You hate it?
Don't throw a fit.

My list is great.
It's top rate.
Don't question my list.
There is no reason to be pissed.

Now I'm pissed too.
How dare you question what's in view.
My list is simply the best.
It beats all of the rest.

They are the top ten.
Top ten places to make a den.
Top ten places to visit when there.
There is no more room to spare.

How could I have missed that?
Bah, I think that is scat.
I have never been there.
So it can't even be a spare.

How could I miss?
Bah, there is no bliss.
This is my list.
It's not to be missed.

It is the end all and be all.
Don't give me a cat call.
Here you will have a ball.
Any other you will stall.

My opinion is right.
I have a list in sight.
You are just questioning me.
My list is the best spree.

Best list for living.
Best list for forgiving.
Best list for fishing.
Best list for wishing.

All top ten.
Best for all women and men.
No additions allowed.
My list draws a crowd.

Ever see such nuts that get in their list ruts? They pick top ten to use and then some other nut comes to abuse. Why didn't you add this or that? They are really where it is at. Then the list maker gets in a huff and claims the best stuff. Around and around it goes in mass. I'll stick to listing how humans are nuts to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Time Has Come Beat The Drum!

Your death is here because time gave you a peer. Yeah, a human construct said it was your time and so you buy into such a useless chime. But when it is your time, it is your time. Excuse me while I go listen to something worthwhile from a mime.

Time is time.
Some stupid chime.
Always given,
By those a livin'.

You'll find one.
If not a ton.
They love that saying.
Laziness sure displaying.

Drink and smoke.
Grab a toke.
Drive while drunk.
For its all bunk.

If you die, you die.
That is your cry.
If you live, you live.
All will forgive.

For it's the when.
The when of some magic pen.
That is your expiry date.
It is already fate.

Push yourself.
Climb that shelf.
Jump from a 50 story high rise.
No need to be wise.

No need to eat right.
No need to sleep at night.
No need to exercise away.
Just listen to what I say.

When it is your time, it's your time.
That is my life's chime.
You never know when time is up.
So just live life and fill your cup.

Fill it with booze.
How can you lose?
That liver damage was supposed to be.
You flat on the pavement was the end for thee.

That heart attack was meant for you.
That whatever other preventable thing was meant to come due.
For you have no more stairs to climb,
When it is your time, it is your time.

Pfffft to that saying says the cat. Yeah, we never truly know where we are at. But you can prevent a lot of it by not doing stupid shit. An excuse is all it is for many being lazy asses, but that is the way of the masses. Do you think when it is your time, it is your time is the way to be? Big difference between not fearing and being an idiot at ones sea. I think I'll go back to the mime or the singing bass. They have much better things to say to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A What You Know Type Of Flow!

The cat has heard this a time or two. I'm sure you have too. It is the old write what you know rule. Pffffft to that is all that is given by this fool. But let's pretend it is right. Or not at my site.

Write what you know.
Come on, let it flow.
Flow or not.
Work it into the plot.

No plot without it.
Nope, not one bit.
Only what you know.
Known is the best show.

Sci-fi writing?
Bah, bad lighting.
Can't write that.
You don't know a future stat.

Or do you?
The Mayans were true.
Err ummm bad example.
But I'm sure there are ample.

Thinking, thinking, nope.
Sorry there, dope.
You don't know.
So onward you can't go.

Writing for a cat.
Wow, look at that.
You know what it is like to be a cat.
Pfffft yeah right to that.

Sorry, can't write it.
Don't hiss and spit.
You can't fool me.
No cat is thee.

Write about Timbuktu.
Damn, well traveled are you.
What, you never went there?
Sorry, no writing to spare.

But I want to be like you.
I want to write about it too.
All over the place.
I want to embrace.

I wrote the lottery numbers down.
I just won a golden crown.
I know the numbers at my sea.
Are you is in the know as me?

Pffft to that most of the time. Sometimes it is a fine chime. But most of the time it is crap. Do you give that rule a flap? Maybe you do know magic, sex with genies and what it's like to die in quicksand. Hey, those just popped in at my land. But if the latter you know because it came to pass, you won't be able to write about it to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Sit It!

Today you get a rhyme. It happens all the time.

Here.
Peer.
Easy.
Peasy.

I rhymed.
Well timed.
Rhymed well.
So swell.

I rhymed more.
Not a chore.
Easy as pie.
Give it a try.

Pie that may fly.
Flying types of pie.
That would surely suck.
I'm passing the buck.

Or would that be looney.
Never know in this cartoony.
Where am I going now?
Don't go having a cow.

We're here doing math.
Will I get wrath?
Can you count well?
Finger using is swell.

An easy rhyme.
No repeat chime.
But repeat use.
Can't cut loose.

It's math.
No bath.
Just adding.
Subtract padding.

Done.
Now run.
Whoops, added fluff.
Can't do just enough.

Like my almost just enough fun? Yeah, I cheated with the end one. Are you one? Do you give just enough a run? See, it was just enough to rhyme. Just enough to stay in sync for a time. Are you a just enough fan? Just enough to fill the trash can? Sometimes just enough has its perks but many a time it hardly provides any great works. Hey, at least just enough came to pass from my ever so whelmed enough little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Dust And Trim Kinda Dim?

The cat will now nap but run. My, that takes skill by the ton. Would you call it sleep walking? Can I also throw in talking? You humans do it every day. So I want to mix and match too at my bay.

Opposite of told.
Let it take hold.
Opposite of tell.
Isn't that swell?

Same of told.
Joins the fold.
Same of tell.
What the hell?

Confused yet not.
Catch or caught.
Caught or catch.
Now go and fetch.

Grab the duster.
Has such luster.
You are going to dust.
In dusting you trust.

So you dust and take away.
Hmm is that word play?
Shouldn't un-dusting come due?
Is more dust being added by you?

Got you thinking.
Maybe through rapid blinking.
Or maybe you thought.
Thought to think about the plot.

Just like weeks ago.
Many had a tree show.
Lights, ornaments and whatever.
It was a tree trimming endeavor.

Umm, is that true?
The tree was trimmed by you?
Yet you added stuff to it.
Is that reverse psychology shit?

You supposedly took away.
What's done when trimming you say.
But instead you added a bunch.
Does tree adding not have the same punch?

But hey, you trimmed.
The tree you slimmed.
When the ornaments went back in the box,
And you put away your stash of socks.

Any more that pops in? Ever give those two a spin? You aren't really dusting at your sea unless dust is added by thee. You know, like crop dusting. That one deserves no busting. They are dropping dust/chemicals or whatever. Okay, could be a busting endeavor. So un-dust away. Tree add at your bay. The opposite must have far less class. Much like my dust free little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Here Fishy Fishy Gets A Swishy!

The cat was dealing with another nut the other day. They sure seem to find us no matter where we stray. This one was an idiot beyond words. I have seen more sense in birds.

All humans are the same.
That is my claim.
All the same in what they eat.
They need this for a treat.

They each need fish.
Whether every day or a once a week dish.
Every human needs it to eat.
No way anyone can cheat.

Vegans, bah they'll die.
Look into their eye.
They won't survive.
They'll never get out alive.

They are nuts anyway.
Who cares what they say?
Surely not me.
Plenty of fish in the sea.

No matter the kind,
Fish you can't leave behind.
It is a must in any diet.
Eat it raw or fry it.

Allergies you say?
Pfft they'll go away.
No such thing as being allergic to fish.
They are on every humans dish.

It is all in their head.
They'd never wind up dead.
They can get over it.
At least they can eat a bit.

Confused logic there?
Bah, don't be so aware.
Just go and buy some fish.
It will taste well on your dish.

Muscles, seaweed, sharks or whales.
All of them can hit the trails.
They will all taste great.
A yummy meal will be your fate.

All humans can eat fish.
They can do so whenever they wish.
Fish is a must in any diet.
Eat it and don't just try it.

So allergies are fake, whales are fish and vegans are going to die. Any wonder why I've seen more brains in birds than this guy? The moron was dead serious too. Pound sand up a certain spot is the only retort he got from my zoo. That was after an eye roll or ten. Maybe he thinks fish are birthed from a hen. Wouldn't surprise me at all. Are you that fish crazy at your hall? If so I'll send you a singing bass. You can tell it to him and not my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.