Pat Hatt's Blog, page 61

A Chocolate For Each Just In Reach!

Only one day to go and then the chocolate won't show. Or maybe a whole bunch more will but this isn't that pooping bunny's holiday thrill. Got a calendar thingy for each day to enjoy a tiny chocolate on display?

Calendar for merry.
Chocolates and not cherry.
Of course that could be popped,
Oh how the gutter dropped.

But let's move on.
Coal may dawn.
The cat can swat it.
So wouldn't mind one bit.

Yet calendars near.
Everyone give a cheer.
Counting down the days,
With a little chocolate maze.

Let's do the same thing.
Chocolate will be king.
To count the days of spring.
Eat a chocolate after each fling.

Do one for each year.
Adding to your age gets a cheer.
Of course it may fail,
They could become stale.

One for each ding.
May cost some cha-ching.
But each time you whack something with your car,
You get a chocolate not even the size of a bar.

Each time you spend dough,
Whether for bills, food or whatever in tow,
You get to chow on down.
Enough chocolate that you'll never frown.

Every time you swear.
Could get fat there.
May have to buy a ton.
Although chocolate may make swearing fun.

Every time you rhyme.
Now that isn't a crime.
Rhyme and flip open a flap.
Shove a chocolate in your yap.

I could go on all day.
Chocolate calendars on display.
Satisfying your sweet tooth no matter what.
Could even swap chocolate for a nut.

Don't you want an advent calendar for everything now? That sweet tooth will just think, wow. As will your waistline. But to many that is already fine. The cat should market away now that Christmas is about done with its calendar display. Are you a calendar user at your sea? Does eating the tiny chocolates bring you glee? Hope a merry Christmas eve is coming to pass. I'll take a calendar filled with cat treats for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Ho Ho Ho Of No No No!

The cat has you ready to say no. Does that make you go ho ho ho? Was that another no? Damn, on a roll at your show. Actually more like on a familiar path as anything "yes" suffers your wrath.

What was that?
Don't be dumb.
That will go splat.
And really then some.

I just can't.
Nope, not one bit.
I'm a worker ant.
I need to take a shit.

I'm just not whelmed.
I'm over or under.
Either can be helmed,
Maybe it's the thunder.

I have a date.
I have TV to watch.
Hey, I may even mate,
After a bottle of scotch.

I have to get gas.
I have to get food.
So I must take a pass.
I swear, I'm not being rude.

It may rain.
It may snow.
I know it's a pain,
But the answer's still no.

Speaking of pain.
I have a bad back.
I have a bad brain.
I may have a heart attack.

I have to pay bills.
I need to pay me.
I must get some thrills.
I'm just a busy bee.

The gutters need cleaning.
The trash must be taken out.
The window needs re-screening.
I thought I heard my spouse shout.

It just can't be done.
Time is my foe.
I'm under the gun,
So no, no and no.

Wow, you humans reach for no way easier than yes. Is it that you want to do less? Or maybe pretend you do more? Beats me at my shore. What if no became yes more often than not? Of course that depends on the plot. Shouldn't say yes to robbing a banker or you'll go to jail where Tiny will play with your wanker. That sure deserves a no. Do a no-ing you usually go? Sometimes we jump the gun but we try to give more of a yes run. Unless dumb things come to pass. Then just pfffft comes from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Just One More Is In Store!

There i s just one more post ready to come. Do you believe my rhyming bum? Yeah, probably not. But more is sure today's plot. Or maybe it is less. It may get confusing to some I shall confess.

Just one more.
One more in store.
Give me that extra like.
So up my numbers will hike.

I need just one more.
One more gift at my shore.
You could also be my follower.
Such a gift would not be hollower.

Give me that just one more.
It isn't such a chore.
I'm not satisfied with 50,001.
I need 50,002 to give a run.

Then 50,003.
Set your life free.
Like and follow today.
It is simply the way.

Did I mention I need more?
I need it at my shore.
As in really really need.
So come and do the deed.

Knowledge though?
Bah to that foe.
I need no more of that.
I know everything where I'm at.

Education is the same.
That is just really lame.
Whether street or book,
I need no more at my nook.

New skills?
Bah, head for the hills.
I have all I need.
No more should take seed.

Improving things?
Can it get me wings?
Nope, so don't need it.
I am already the shit.

So like me more.
Follow me as an encore.
In life I need no more,
But online I really roar.

Does that logic make sense? Hmm maybe only to the dense. One extra like or follower makes many squeal, yet learning something new is such a raw deal. Who needs to waste time doing that? So what if you have the brains of a gnat. You got that one more like. Improving can so take a hike. Pffft and I'm going to go eat glass. That makes about as much sense as this to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Don't Mind Me At Your Sea!

Do you mind the cat? How exactly do you do that? Does your mind stick to me? That is as eww as can be. Would explain why brainless humans are about. Their mind up and moved out.

Speak you mind.
Let it flow.
One of a kind,
What do I know.

Or one of a flock.
Baa goes the sheep.
But that won't shock.
Maybe just meep meep.

Did I speak mine?
Was it my fingers?
With the feline,
A question lingers.

Is it on your mind now?
That is a great skill.
Does it really wow,
When words come and fill?

That must weigh heavy.
Or maybe Great Scot!
Hint, I didn't quote Chevy,
Or a talking robot.

Do words make it weigh?
That must really suck.
Do they ever go away?
What the fluck.

Words on a mind.
Speaking from within.
What's up with mankind.
Mind taking must be a sin.

So speak, on and weighing.
That's quite the case.
But one thing's for sure with this saying,
Minding your own business takes an about face.

If your mind is elsewhere,
How can you mind it?
A conundrum with flair.
On your mind it will sit.

So don't mind me.
I don't want the yucky thing.
I'm no zombie at my sea,
Mind your manners at my wing.

Mind sure can be strange if taken literally what's said. I'm sure no one minds if they are the undead. Ever put your mind to this? Does it stick like a gooey kiss? Do you need duct tape to put it there? Wow, where the mind goes at my lair. At least I don't let it out to give its own sass. That all comes from the mind of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Cheerful Season For Some Treason!

I was minding my own business at my sea and then they came and bothered me. Cassie was supposed to be guarding the door. Instead she napped too at our shore. I must do all the work. That is so not a perk.


There she was.Just because.Look at the fuzz. The enemy all abuzz.

No way to more.I checked the door.Those three can stay out.I gave them a shout.

Cassie laughed at me.Another got by on this invasion spree. She got bounced on for that.Yeah, I'm a rather mean cat.

I woke the old guy too. He hadn't a clue.A bit senile, that one.I can still make him run.

Or maybe not.Hmph,  doesn't care he was caught.Pat won't let things get grim.But I will still fix him.

We can snub.Take that, bub.He snubbed me too.How rude is that view?

Now he's scratching my tree.This just can't be.An attention seeker too.All are giving him a view.

Damn that.I'll go cause scat.I'm outta here. They can kiss my rhyming rear.

They don't care.All they did was stare.That is just rude.Supposed to hate my attitude.

And now they are all napping. Cassie is even flapping.Or that may be a yawn.This cheerful stuff is such a con.
Do you like invaders at your sea? Cassie is much nicer than me. Don't you think it was rude that she let them in? That is one big sin. She should get sat on for that. I'll have to go tell Pat. I now keep a watchful eye out for any who try to pass. They aren't going to get any cheer from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Let's Install And Have A Ball!

Today we are going to install a bunch. You will be done way before lunch. I tell you it is as easy as can be. It will be no problem for thee. You can trust the cat. Do you really believe that?

Easy to install.
Bought it at the mall.
Bought it at some store.
Maybe online you did soar.

The end is the same.
They all have that claim.
Easy to install.
No help number to call.

Can be done by you.
It surely is true.
You can do it.
Yep, every little bit.

Is looks confusing?
Bah, forget the perusing.
Don't look at the dohickey.
Looking makes it seem tricky.

Follow each step.
Don't lose your pep.
Because after all,
It's easy to install.

This thingy goes there.
You shouldn't have a spare.
That thingy goes here.
See? There is nothing to fear.

It doesn't work?
Well that's not a perk.
It doesn't fit the right way?
Some other gadget you need at your bay.

You need to connect.
You want it erect.
So connect with a connector.
The only way you reach the detector.

Tie some wires together.
It's as light as a feather.
Hold up and tie.
This is soooo easy to give a try.

Now you've got it.
Whoops, the house is no longer lit.
You blew the whole neighborhood.
Clearly easy to install was misunderstood.

Don't you love the easy to install? You can always just stick it to a wall. Yep, it is as easy as that. Whoops, we forgot to mention all kinds of other scat. But that is easy to find too. All should be easy for you. A professional may be easier to call. Nope, don't do that because it is easy to install. The cat will easily take a pass. I'd rather have it done right for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

What's The Word On The Bird!

The tabbies are sure going to get a thrill as today the birds get their fill. They may picket the cat. Hey, we didn't go all bird brained where we are at. You humans already went there with plenty of birds to spare.

A partridge comes first.
Does it quench thirst?
It probably shits in the pear tree.
Does that give you glee?

How does turkey fit in?
Those gobblers don't think it a win.
They get eaten and fear it.
Now that's holiday spirit.

Turtle doves floating away.
Yeah, like they will stay.
Two birds kept in hand.
I bet the smell on your hand isn't grand.

Are French hens like French fries?
That may get a few rolled eyes.
But hey, what do I know.
Not like a hen collecting I go.

And now we have to call birds?
Does your hand miss their turds?
Do you need two birds for each?
What, no dirty diapers in reach?

Then we have geese and eggs.
Are you drunk on kegs?
Six that lay eggs can turn into waay more.
I'll let you do the math at your shore.

Oh, swans that can swim.
Yeah, that's something we want on a whim.
Like that is so rare to see.
A bird that can swim...yippeee!

Now we have a blue bird.
I guess one got lost from the herd.
But you want it to go away?
Make up your mind, okay?

And here to stay is a new bird.
Are you that absurd.
What makes a bird new?
Just because it wasn't seen by you?

It's A Wonderful Bird!
Winter Birdland is the word.
Happy Bird Days.
What? Birds are all you gaze.

Why do you use birds so much for Christmas time? Betsy may find them sublime, but does everyone? All those turkeys want to do is run. So I can gift you birds doing what birds do? My, you aren't hard to shop for at your zoo. Have a bird fetish at your sea? Bird brained as can be? The cat will stick with the singing bass. At least his singing is rare as he does it to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

The Cows Are Coming And Not Chumming!

The cat was out and about when I gave a shout. I said something was bullshit. Yeah, I can swear a bit. But that you know. Did you know there are farms near our show though?

A cow heard me.
It caused no glee.
She glared at me,
Yelling how I wasn't PC.

I offended the cow.
Now that is a wow.
I only said bull.
Discrimination is full.

I never said cowshit.
She was sure offended by it.
But oh it didn't end there,
She had more offense to spare.

Why did I make fun of their shit?
She was really having a fit.
Why not chickens or pigs?
Why not humans with wigs?

Why did it have to be bull?
Do bulls have a different pull?
Why not bullpee?
Or cowpee to include he and she?

The questions sure came.
They were ever so lame.
They hurt the head too.
Why couldn't she just moo?

Why not sheep?
Why not that of a creep?
Why shit at all?
What does that get one at their hall?

Don't you walk away.
I have to have my say.
You offended me.
You are so not PC.

I don't want to hear it again.
Not at any persons den.
It should be banned from speak.
Send it straight up shit creek.

Oh, I offended a creek.
I'm sorry for my speak.
I'm as bad as you.
Excuse me while I have a cowpoo.

Who knew you could offend a cow? Does that wow? PC nuts are really going to the extreme. Hmm this may have all been a dream. I wouldn't put it past humans though to get their ass up at their oh so PC show. Did you offend any cows lately at your sea? Don't you love the PC? They can suck on the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Hit Everyone's Trail For A Fail!

The cat has seen some no so cheery people around. Everywhere they can surely be found. No matter the time of year that it is. They are sure around with their misery biz. But not for their life. Nope, others will get the strife.

I'm perfect as can be.
Nothing can touch me or we.
We are the best.
But surely not the rest.

They'll never last.
Their love is in the past.
That kiss was all for show.
Trust me because I know.

Their kids are bad.
No discipline is had.
That isn't how you raise kids.
It's like they are raising squids.

Their pets are mean.
They cause a scene.
They meow and bark.
Every tree they mark.

Their home is yuck.
I mean, what the fluck.
Who wants tacky flowers?
Sure can stare at them for hours.

Pffft look at that car.
It's a brand that should be tar.
It just never worked for me.
I know it is going to fail on thee.

Their book will never sell.
They included the word, Hell.
That is just a no no.
Trust me, I really do know.

Their job is the pits.
They can't really love it to bits.
How do they love that?
I'd rather clean up scat.

Their blog will never last.
It has few in the cast.
It is too shiny to look at.
Who wants to chew that fat?

That is one bad deal.
Who cares if you got a meal.
It doesn't work for me.
So it is an instant fail for thee.

Love the nitpickers at your sea? How it is soooooooo bad because it doesn't work for them when it is about thee. Pffft if one thing worked for everyone we may as well go jump in the sun. But nope, they are grand while everyone else is wrong across the land. I'd like to watch them walk across shattered glass. Hey, it is one way to enjoy such nitpickers if they come near my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

To My Readers And The Bird Feeders!

Anyone out there should heed this call. The cat will appreciate it all. I will get a golden litterbox and be so whelmed should it be helmed. Won't that make you glad there at your pad?

Heed my call.
Says it all.
Attention you.
Times two?

Nah, no repeats.
Hit the streets.
Come and play.
Don't forget to pay.

It is so much stress.
It is such a mess.
It is soooo hard to confess.
I need more, not less.

Rhyming every day,
Sure takes pay.
I mean I have to have a keyboard.
They cost thousands, good lord.

I have to get up and walk.
I have to maybe even talk.
Vocal cords cost, you know.
They cost thousands of dough.

Running this is bad.
So much time is had.
If only you'd donate.
I'd get a golden cat crate.

Oh, I mean keep the site alive.
Don't you want it to survive?
I know you think it the best.
It beats all the rest.

If all donated away,
$10000000 in the next 5 mins at play.
My goal would be 50% reached.
Then 5 mins later it will be breached.

So don't delay.
A rhyme must come each day.
You don't want the site tossed.
Doing this sure comes with such HIGH cost.

It's so hard on me.
Oh look, a flea.
Scratch that for me?
I swear, it's almost, sorta, maybe free.

Don't you want to donate billions now? I mean all the work of this place sure can wow. We need billions to keep it going. Pffffft and tomorrow I will have a porno showing. If you believe any of that. I got a bridge to sell you where you're at. I swear it will be nearby. Ever believe the cries of some already rich guy? Such sites need billions they say. Pffft once more is all I can say. Especially when run more by the work of an average class. Won't get free or fee from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.