Pat Hatt's Blog, page 60

Ring Clear With New Here?

 
New day, new year.Things are so clear.Everything is new.Are you fooling you?
New date, new day.New is here to stay.Same insecurities are screening. Has new lost its meaning?
Insecurities still stuck.What the fluck?It's all new.Whoops, fooled you.
Old is new.Got a clue?New is old.You've been told.
Change the view.No longer blue.Or view the change.Mind just rearrange?
Mutter and mumble.Maybe throw in a grumble.Just don't stumble.That won't leave you humble.
Stubbed your toe.Fluck may show.Or would that be tell?What the hell.
Look, it can move.Not stuck in a groove.So you move it aside.Toes no longer have to hide.
Old is now new.New to old came due.You solved the case.No magic embrace.
Move and lifted.Toe stubbing no longer gifted.You put in the work.Now that's a new perk.
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Oh, and an IWSG announcement too. The winners of the next anthology have come due.Congrats to all at their hall.
Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime
A Stich in Crime – Gwen GardnerUntil Release  - Jemi FraiserReset – Tara TylerThree O’Clock Execution - S. R. BetlerThe Little Girl in the Bayou - J. R. Ferguson The Tide Waits – Rebecca M. DouglasCenter Lane - Christine ClemetsonOne More Minute – Mary AalgaardCypress, Like the Tree - Yolanda RenéeGussy Saint and the Case of the Missing Coed - C.D. Gallant-King
Special Mention:
Heartless – C. Lee McKenzie
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Don't you love not stubbing your toe? Sure can bring a fluckity fluck show. Can change and rearrange the insecurities away too. Some may take a bit more heavy lifting from you. But it can be done. Then back to the fun. Aren't I a wise cat? Or maybe just out to lunch where I'm at. Speaking of which I'll go chew some grass. I'm sure it is fresher than this so-called new year for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Random Thought With Little Plot!

Does the cat ever have a plot? Maybe once in a while a plot is thought. Or the thought of the plot is caught. Now I've lost your train of thought? Don't worry one bit. I still have mine for a bit.

If wishes were fishes,
And fishes were dishes,
Then dishes with fishes,
Would splashes and splishes.

Those splishes and splashes,
Would bring crashes and flashes.
Then trashes of ashes,
Would clutter and clashes.

The clashes and clutter,
Would putter and sputter,
Then out of the gutter,
Comes bitter and butter.

The butter and bitter,
Would sputter and spitter,
Much like litter with glitter.
A double hatter with hitter.

The hitter and hatter,
Would scatter and shatter,
From batter with matter,
A smatter filled chatter.

The chatter of matter,
Or the chatter of latter,
Would flatter and tatter,
And pitter with patter.

The patter and pitter,
Brings fitter and sitter,
By glitter with litter,
And butter through bitter.

The bitter through butter,
Would sputter and putter,
A gutter of mutter,
With clashes and clutter.

The clutter by clashes,
Creates rashes and gashes,
From flashes and trashes,
Through splishes and splashes.

So splashes and splishes,
Creates dishes with fishes,
If fishes were dishes,
And fishes brought wishes.

Did you get tongue tied? The cat would smile wide. Hey, the rhyme just got stuck in my head and so I thought I'd let it out to get stuck in your head instead, Wasn't that nice of me? Did I confuse thee? Better never then make wishes with fishes near dishes that splashes and splishes. Stick with the mass or the singing bass or rolling in grass like my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

New And Shiny However Tiny!

The cat has done the new a time or two. So let's give the shiny a view. Can double up as well. Isn't that swell? Double up with you humans making fun as around after a light cats run.

Shiny and new.
Forget the two.
Sticking with shiny.
Now don't get whiny.

Oh look, a light.
Dark in night.
I'll case the spot.
You laugh a lot?

Jokes on you.
Have you got a clue?
Light costs 5 bucks.
That much? Ah shucks.

Yeah, breaks the bank.
5 less in your gas tank.
Around the light I chase.
Have to catch its shiny embrace.

But so do you.
Sorry, it's true.
Mine costs five,
So you'll still survive.

Yours way more.
You sure won't soar.
Could buy a new car.
But nope, shiny won't get you far.

Look, a shiny little rock.
To it you humans flock.
Oh and now it can linger.
A shiny 10K ring on your finger.

Wowweeee.
Just look at thee.
You got a shiny rock.
I'll let you get over the shock.

Look, it's jewellery and such.
Wow, it shines more than a touch.
You buy the shiny stuff by the ton.
It sits in a box not seen by anyone.

1000s more spent.
Now you live in a tent.
But you got your rock so shiny.
Wow, 10K sure buys something tiny.

And you make fun of cats. Are you humans dingbats? I think I answered that. 5 bucks to chase a shiny light and exercise a cat. 10K bucks for a shiny rock to sit on your finger. I think we need to go to a bell ringer. Yep, the cat wins this time. You humans must have lost brain cells during evolution to your so-called prime. Enjoy such shiny things that resemble glass? Pffft is all you'll get from my non-shiny little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Does The Fresh Really Mesh?

What was that? You thought I'd go magic day at our blog mat? Bah, we've done that a time or ten. There is no such thing as a magic day at any den. Get up and do no matter the calendar date at your zoo.

A fresh start,
Taken to heart.
All is fresh,
2018 will mesh.

Yep. It's fresh.
No pound of flesh.
All will be good.
Fresh is understood.

Whoa, hold on.
A different dawn?
You change a number,
As many slumber?

I can do that.
Easy for the cat.
2100 it is now.
I'm super fresh, wow!

But my shit still stinks.
I'm getting no playful winks.
Still my old hair.
I see it on the chair.

Pat still has a scar.
He still has the same car.
Still has the same dough.
Still the same things in the know.

The same job.
The same plan to rob.
Hey, it's just a plan.
The bank wouldn't be a fan.

Where is fresh?
Should I hit refresh?
Even with a cheat rhyme,
I see no fresh chime.

Gonna bring you off the brink?
A number change the missing link?
And I'm going to turn bright pink.
I think many mean fresh stink.

For it's a new day.
The same as any other at play.
Can do the same no matter the date.
No magic, fresh, or anything else, mate.

Do you smell fresh? Do you have pretty new flesh? Are you all magically fresh now? Does your fresh stink really wow? Getting ready to start fresh with the same stink. It is tomorrow that happens, I think. Pffft can be fresh any old day that comes to pass. Here's some not so fresh gas from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The No Replace About Face!

A twist and turn and many can learn. Until then though, few can see through their you know. As in they have their head so far up their ass they can't see it with such a pass. See what? We'll get there at my hut.

I can't be.
Nope, not me.
Can't at all.
Not at any hall.

I can't be.
You're doing it to me?
How can you do that?
I know each and every stat.

I'm being replaced?
I can't be erased.
You'll regret it.
I swear you'll take a hit.

You'll regret this day.
I wish you dismay.
You can't replace me.
You'll come to see.

Three months go by.
Coming down from upon high.
I need this work,
Even if it isn't a perk.

I can do it.
Yep, every bit.
It will be easy for me.
I will give you glee.

They couldn't replace me.
They failed you see.
What? They are still running?
Nah, they are really off sunning.

I'll be the very best.
I'll beat all the rest.
You'll never want me gone.
I am more than a pawn.

Three months go by.
See ya, without a why.
But I know it all.
I'm irreplaceable at my hall.

All down from upon high,
Off cooking up stir fry.
Any one can be replaced.
A fact that must be faced.

Know any of those people at your sea? They think they can't be replaced by you, another or me. Then reality sets in and finally they may see some sun on their chin. Or maybe they'll stay that way. In the end all can be replaced at any work bay. A number and that is that. One I know realized such a stat. It made the cat grin after she went down a peg or three. What? It's the little things that cause glee. Always someone ready to mow your grass. There's a fact of life from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Outlook Is Here For All To Peer!

So the cat ran into a nut the other day that believed everything some nut had to say. Why did she believe that? Because it had the word "outlook" in the stat. Outlook means true. My, who knew?

The outlook is ready.
Truth will come steady.
You won't be whelmed,
After this is helmed.

2018 is days away.
Actually add a year at my bay.
But we'll just pretend.
Right, on with this trend.

2018 is the year of change.
All your life will rearrange.
My outlook says so.
Hmm is that psychic mumbo jumbo?

2018 will see stocks rise.
My, aren't I so wise?
They may fall too.
Now I got you thinking at your zoo.

2018 will see computers talk.
In your ear they will squawk.
They will be like a parrot.
Every opinion they will share it.

2058 aliens will show.
Trust me, I know.
My 40 year outlook says so.
I was told by a cousin of a crow.

2018 will have you eat.
You will eat something neat.
Like grass and cupcakes.
What a great meal that makes.

2018 will have toes cold.
Yep, cold toes will take hold.
They may even freeze off.
But not all 10 so don't scoff.

2018 will put a halt to remakes.
I know that gives you the shakes.
Sorry, that outlook is a lie,
But at least it was worth a try.

2018 will have 365 days.
Woweee, what a gaze.
I saw your lip drop.
Trust me, this one won't be a flop.

Do you believe the outlook? Are you ready to change away at your nook? Maybe run to Vegas and win some dough. Hey, you just never know. Oh wait, you do because the outlook told you. Pfffft is all you'll get from the cat. My outlook is many are full of scat. But at least one thing shall come to pass. There will be plenty more rhymes from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Day So Bright With No Light!

The cat is going to brighten your day with what he has to say. Or maybe I won't. Making any guarantees I don't. But you just never know. You humans use it so...

I'm sitting in the dark.
I hear a dog bark.
The mutt likes that.
Doesn't bother the cat.

Oh, an email.
That's not a fail.
It can brighten my day.
King Abubu wants to share his pay.

Nope, still dark in here.
No brightness to peer.
Guess King Abubu sucks.
He can keep his bucks.

Oh, a bird outside.
I'd like to take it for a ride.
Not any kind you'd like.
A brightened day that would strike.

Damn, it's still dark.
Should go play in a park.
Stupid bird is a fail.
Go and hit the trail.

Some great food.
That isn't rude.
I'll go for a treat.
Excuse while I eat.

That must brighten my day.
Nope, still a dark display.
Maybe I should hawk it up.
Could be re-eaten by that pup.

Could brighten her day.
Maybe that will light the way.
This darkness needs to scram.
Light needs to break through the dam.

Oh, a comment for me.
That gives me glee.
It brightens my day.
Nope, still dark with what you say.

There is a switch.
Fixed that glitch.
Let there be light.
Turned it on to rid the night.

You humans are so full of it. Such things don't brighten darkness one bit. Should I not take it literally at my sea? Bah, you should say it different to me. Anything brightening your day? Maybe a flashlight does the trick at ones bay. Hopefully you have a bright one and carry on a ton. The holiday's could brighten in mass. I suppose at least turning on the Christmas lights could do it for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Screw You And You And You And You Too!

Hmm may catch an std that way. I'm sure some went into a gutter bay. I just wanted to point that out. There is no need to shout. Oh, you weren't shouting at me? You were shouting at the broken condom that umm screwed thee?

Work, you jerk.
Why won't you work?
You really suck.
What the fluck.

Stupid piece of crap.
Don't be a sap.
Work and work now.
I'll kill you somehow.

Turn on!
I have to mow the lawn.
Turn on you stupid thing.
Pain to you I will bring.

Stupid hunk of junk.
Why are you in a funk?
I will make you work.
Stop being a stupid jerk.

That doesn't go there.
You are so unfair.
I clicked this.
Did that you miss?

I never typed that.
Are you full of scat?
You need to stop.
You are such a flop.

Get out of my way.
Can't you hear what I say?
Stupid pain in the ass chair.
You just aren't fair.

Why must you do that?
Stop being a dingbat.
You stupid flucking thing.
Why won't you ring?

Open up, you piece of crap.
I'll make you take a dirt nap.
Things are about to get hairy.
So stop being contrary.

Go in and stay.
That's not the way.
I told you to stay in.
I just can't win.

Do you feel better now? Does yelling at inanimate objects help somehow? Does cursing them out or calling names do the trick? Do they work after that some slick? Your computer is a pain so you tell it so. My, that must be a blow to your computer's ego. Wait, has Skynet come due? That may explain the actions of you. Do you yell or swear at things like chairs, computers, phones or the grass? You humans always amuse my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Rest Your Case In Place!

The holidays are done while officially they've had their run. Unless you buy into that magic day. Pffft hit refresh on your browser and it's the same thing at your bay. But we'll get there. Time to rest at one's lair.

Rest your case,
Meaning your butt.
Keep it in place.
Sprawl out like a mutt.

Enjoy the tree.
Enjoy the boxes.
Unless you need to pee,
Then move like foxes.

As in scurry away.
No messes allowed.
Unless Depends came to play,
Then you can lie there proud.

What? There's work?
Is that so?
Bah, ignore the jerk.
That's a no go.

Boxing day is here.
Not for all though.
So we can rest our rear,
While off some may go.

You can pretend.
It's easy to do.
Maybe start a trend.
Take in the view.

The day to do so.
The day to rest.
Christmas has a cheery glow,
When you are at your best.

Go too far.
Do too much.
May get hit by a car,
Or start to speak Dutch.

That would be weird.
Far more than strange.
Rest isn't to be feared.
Do it for a change.

What was that?
There's more to do?
Excuse the cat.
I need to use the loo.

Do you rest today or keep on the go? All the go go go can really become a foe. Can suck away the cheer the next day and make you a grumpy goo at your bay. Do you turn into a grump? Hey, maybe you need a good umm hump. What? It rhymed and was well timed. A dog will always hump your leg too. Would that be restful for you? Now I rest my case with this pass and will go and rest my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Holiday Liar Of A Fire!

The cat thought Santa came by the fire. Would he land and expire? I am looking for him in it. But I won't be fooled one bit. Not for a second year as Pat makes me peer.


He got us last year.He got a new scar I fear.So he'll never try once more.No Rudolph's at our shore.

I see fire.It won't expire.Santa can't get in.Fire in a tin?

Nope, not in there.No room to spare.I guess he'll have to use the door.Hmm, I'll look a little more.

Nothing under it.Cassie ignores my fit.She thinks I'm nuts as can be.But I just had to see.

Merry Christmas once more,As we give an encore.Pat may get a new scar,These beards are once again too far.
Having a great day at your sea? I hope you are as the holidays fly free. The cat may have got a new toy or three. No fire was going to fool me. Do you have fake fire? That think just won't expire. Hopefully today was a merry pass. Now I'll go see what I got for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.