Pat Hatt's Blog, page 200

I'm Game For A Quomodocunquize Claim!

So I bet you are game for a Quomodocunquize claim, at least in many a way. Some may not want to go all out at their bay. That could really get weird and then you'd be something to be feared. Any idea what I am going on about? Well sit back and listen to my shout.

Quomodocunquize is a big word,
It sounds oh so absurd,
But it speaks the truth,
To many at their booth.

Dress as a giant golf ball,
Clean a bathroom stall,
Nasty to my OCD.
Bad enough I do my own at my sea.

Make a movie that stinks, or not.
Clean up dry rot.
Build a nice house,
Kill a poor mouse.

Mow someones grass.
Babysit a small lass.
Grab a pole and shake your ass,
See, I told you it can get crass.

Fix a car.
Sell a pretty jar.
Blog here and there,
Pose in your undewear.

Be a Walmart greeter.
Crush an old beater.
Sew a stinky sock.
Climb a big pointy rock.

Maybe install a lock.
Create lots of chalk.
Put out a book.
Put away some crook.

Cheat on a quiz,
On a person take a whiz.
Sadly some do that,
Disgusting to the cat.

Fly a plane.
Man a train.
Create a superhero.
Deliver mail below zero.

Milk a cow.
Pierce an eyebrow.
I could go on forever,
With my quomodocunquize endeavor.

Have you guess it yet? Cheated with Google I bet. But in case either of those you have not I would not want you to suffer brain rot. So the answer to what quomodocunquize means is simply to make money in any way possible like a janitor who cleans or a schmuck on reality TV. All to make money, even the nasty pee. Now you learned a new word class, all thanks to my ever so quomodocunquize-ing, at least for the most part, little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Parthenophobia Is A Real Thing? That Has To Sting!

Boy, parthenophobia must really suck. With it you would get no luck. Any idea what it is? If you have it I hope you seek help for such a biz. I wonder if a woman had it how would it go? I bet no mirrors would be able to show.

So parthenophobia is the word of today.
If you suffer from it, oh the dismay.
Even though the cat  is snip snip,
He still would never take such a trip.

If you suffer from it,
You are scared more than a bit,
Of a certain gender.
Those who are supposedly more tender.

Now I can see how the likes of old one eye,
Or the halloween nazi could make you cry.
Or those with a huge plastic face,
You may not want to embrace.

But a fear of the female,
So much so that when you see them you wail.
That is just rather umm odd.
Too attached to your hot rod?

When parthenophobia is at play,
The inflicted scream and run away.
Like they just saw the Boogey Man.
Old one eye flick you boogers in a trash can.

See, you are scaring males or maybe females,
Could be your scary tails.
Anyway, back on task.
Why you ask?

Beats the heck out of me.
They swing from a super crazy tree.
But women may be oh so scary,
Whether or not they are hairy,

Yet something more is even scarier to them.
You'd think it was a monster that spit flem.
Old one eye, I said stay away damn it.
Besides her, what causes this fit?

A women who is a big scary virgin.
Oh no! She must have some sort of fur fin.
That is oh so scary to one and all,
Run and hide in a nearby bathroom stall.

I can't take a virgin woman in front of me.
I'm so scared I may pee.
Pffft get a grip.
Parthenophobia is as dumb as boarding a sinking ship.

Sorry not really if I offended you and your parthenophobia when scary women come in view. Maybe you will get over it or just sit there and spit. Be afraid of something like germs, or maybe worms. But being afraid of a virgin, or not, lass makes you out to lunch in the eyes of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Best Oblation Act After Your Pact!

So it seems some oblation is needed for O because the gods like to put on a show. Zeus is rather ticked so up his pad needs to be tricked. He may smite us all if we do not upgrade his hall.


Here is the chap,Who demands an oblation lap.He is a greedy fellow,Anything but mellow.

 First we will give some gold.So he can act quite bold.Who cares if it is for a fool,He`ll never notice as he stares and drools.

 Then comes his very own superhero.Those other gods will have zero.Zeus can have him to do his bidding,With that chin all with think he`s kidding.

 Next we will send a pet.On that he has never met.A cute little bed bug.That will bring a smile to his mug.

 Some transportation too!An ass in view.He will be in love.He and his ass soaring high above.

 We will send him some love.He may need that above.But never fear,It will not be her I hear.
 
This is his great catch of the day.With her he can play.They can romp around.Hopefully a boo boo is not found.

 And who does not like a cow?Aliens are obsessed with them some how.So maybe he will get a milking thrill.I think I just made myself ill.

 And he can have this guy.He already looks like he can fly.So to stop Zeus`s rage,We will use him to rattle his cage.

 And no oblation would be complete,Without a nifty snack to eat.Zeus will get his fill.Once more I feel ill.
I bet you got this one. Oblation is such fun. When you offer something up to a deity or whatever, you can make such it a fun endeavor. Hopefully Zeus likes his gifts and his anger shifts. Any idea which movie contained the first lass. I will never tell with my oblation-ated out little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Quite The Show With Natiforms All In A Row!

Oh what the cat can do with N today at his zoo. I so hope none of you have a natiform head. With that you may just want to stay in bed. What is a natiform you ask? Well let's put it to the task.


 In true natiform.This guy strolls to his dorm.Can you guess yet?I bet that is a safe bet.

 The bunny must be funny,Or looking for some honey.He has natiform in his face.Maybe he likes such an embrace.

 Umm do I wanna know?Sideways natiform sure does show.But lets leave it at that.Kinda nasty to the cat.

 A yummy moon cake.I bet Gloria can shake and bake.Natiform it up today.Chew a natiform at your bay.

Or slice a natiform open.Don't sit there mopin.Just cut into that crack.Go on the pumpkin attack.

 If natiform floats your boat,You should stop and take note.Can you bite into it?You can gladly discover that bit.

 Rock around the clock,Or just sit and gawk.Natiform sure is at play.I bet it will make your day.

 Suck a melon.Might turn you into a felon.Just don't kiss and tell,Then all should be swell.

 The tree even had to go,Just look at what it has to show.Bad digestion I would say.But another natiform display.

 Take thee eyes down.There, you get the crown.If you have not guessed yet at your sea,Natiform is items shaped like what above you see.
Every heard the word? It is kind of absurd. But then the cat likes such a thing. Have anything shaped like a butt near your wing? That is all for my natiform pass and thankfully nothing here is natiform except my original little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Not So dVerse Choice As In Movies We Rejoice!

For M there was no choice at all. I guess I could have went with mime at my hall. But why give them any credit at all? They are about as helpful as a snow squall. But let`s make this dVerse so no one will curse.

The Snow`s Gotta Go!

The snow was piled high.Everyone was going to die.There was too much snow.They were in need of a hero.

 So they called a ghostbuster in.He could stop this evil sin.After all ghosts are white,And he rids them from sight.

Dirty Harry was the next one,That they gave a run.He was mean and as old as dirt,So they thought throwing him on the snow to bury it couldn`t hurt.


This guy showed up just because,He heard the movie had buzz.He played an agent again.Needs a new trend at his den.

 
The fat suit came to the rescue.Up in the air he flew.Then they dropped him from the sky,The snow was flat in one spot, good try.

He had a full house.The snow was so close, All he had to do was get all in line.Sadly, all the kids did was whine.

They even called in a mutt,To pee on it at every hutt.But they ran dry.Another nice try.

He came too.But wanted more cash to come due.So he got buried in the snow.Dead, six feet below.

This was their last resort.They held some big court.It was time to nuke the snow.It really had to go.

But then she walked in.Filled the snow with sin.Boom, it melted all away.Every one had a nice day.
There you are, a movie that is going to air near and far. Look for it at a theater near you. Next winter it may be in view. I know the snow has pretty much taken a pass, but hey, this was written months ago by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

The Light Hearted Fools Are Back For Another Whack!

So today for L I guess we will go back to where the two light hearted fools dwell. That is L stands for Light Hearted Fools, in case you are one who can't figure it out and drools.

Speaking of drool,
Seems Mary acts like a fool.
She goes on about the dog,
Even its brown log.

Then you have a nut,
Stuck in a rut.
He's the rapping rapper who can rap.
He sure can flap.

And you got number four,
Who takes a tour.
Poor old Hank.
Walked the #1 plank.

Damn ninja wannabe,
Is back on a spree.
He keeps the song going,
Not a fun showing.

But Truedessa gets it out,
As she gives a shout.
After a time or three,
It may be stuck in the head of thee.


The song stuck in your head? Oh the zombie foot dread. So there we are another tale from their sand bar. Nuts come from all around. I guess that is what happens when two light hearted fools are found. Thankfully the cat can hide in the grass and no nuts come near my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

When Do You Humans Have Time To Chime?

Humans sure say they need time. Over and over they give such a chime. Not enough time in their day is what they usually say. It is no wonder why though, just have a look below.

They print more monopoly money in a year,
Than money printed all over the Earth, I hear.
You move your ribs 5 million times a year.
Damn, that cage may be something to fear.

Their hearts beat over 100,000 times a day.
Who counts this stuff anyway?
From birth to death they will eat,
60,000 pounds of food as a treat.

They have 1460 dreams a year.
Too busy lost up in that sphere.
They put 10 million bricks,
In the Empire State Building like hicks.

They deliver about 1 billion pieces of mail,
Every single year without fail.
Although I bet that drops,
As more email plops.

They use 85 million tons of paper,
No wonder there is a global warming caper.
Each year they blink over 10 million times.
That has to annoy even mimes.

35 percent of them even make an online dating ad,
When they are already married at their pad.
Double the work there,
They make for themselves at their lair.

55 percent wash their hands,
After using public wash room stands.
Wasting all that time in a public loo,
Getting germs and getting sick at your zoo.

44 percent of them break a bone,
Then sit around and moan.
Such clutsy humans I say.
But still no fun what so ever at any bay.

33 percent don't speed up at a yellow light.
Instead they sit there like all is alright.
45 percent follow the speed limit too.
Is it any wonder time slips away from you?

25 percent don't order their bills.
So they have to dig through when paying for ills.
And worst of all at ones hall,
94% of people don't propose with a phone call.

See how you humans waste so much time? You could have more if you do the opposite of my rhyme. Never ever use a public loo. That much is very true. Hold it and run for a bush, just don't use poison ivy on your tush. Now I have saved, and wasted, your time with this pass, no need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Even For The Dinky We've Got Kinky!

What? You were expecting kitty for K at my hut? Sorry, did cat so that door is shut. But the cat will help you if you are in a rut. Kinky is the word of today. So let your mind play.


See, now you'll be clean.With this on the scene.All ready to go.On with the show.

Need some potassium too.Nothing else can come due.Where did your mind go?Wait! I probably don't want to know.

No banana in the tailpipe. But you can't just use Skype.You have to get there,Or be lame and pay bus fare.

For which you'd need this. Or you could just get bliss,And pay the miss.She may even hiss.

Need some energy too.So eat some nuts at your zoo.They are good for you.But only a few.

These will keep you in place.No need to move from your space.You will be nice and secure.Don't they hold a certain allure?

 Yes, it can bend.But that isn't the trend.You just want to clean in every spot,Maybe some a whole lot.

He is there to protect you.No stripping will come due. Unless you are a drug mule.Then you may not think he's cool.

She is just there to clean.Don't want your house obscene.You have to clean it a ton.She thinks cleaning is fun.

Hmmm how did that get there?I guess the dinky may need it at their lair.The cat helps all.Just go have a ball.
Are you ready to get kinky? No need for a slinky. Good luck giving it a go. Any results I don't want to know. But my sea could use a cleaning so if some you are screening and see her, send her my way and I'll purr. What? The cat likes clean and is thinking nothing crass. I am snip snip so cannot be a kinky little rhyming ass,

Experience spring, have a fling.

I Will Give You A Bargain With Some Jargon!

Here we are at J and I figured I would make it a confusing day. At least the cat would make it a bit more than the usual at his shore. Jargon is the pick of the day. Now don't run away.

Have to get some bang for your buck,
Or the 9 to 5 will be out of luck.
Your BP may rise too much.
Code eleven may reach out and touch.

Or you may go AWOL.
Hopefully not a big fall.
Getting over that wall must be tough.
POTUS may pick his nose and get rough.

BTW he flicks too,
But that you knew.
LOL does that get old?
The right wing may find it cold.

Or maybe the left wing.
The cat isn't up on such a thing.
Besides wings aren't tasty anyway.
Eat the bird, leave the feathers on display.

No, I'm not getting on my soap box.
That could lead to quite the detox.
Answers some FAQS you ask?
I guess I'm up to the task.

Oops, IANAL so can't.
Maybe it was because I ate an ant?
I knew it tasted funny.
Plus my nose got runny.

TMI for you?
You asked at my zoo.
Could use that for MOTD at my sea.
Would that not impress thee?

Doesn't SCOTUS sound bad?
Like some STD is had.
Uncle Sam may come after me,
For comparing them to an STD.

YMMV on that one,
Depending on you under your sun.
Isn't it everyone's sun?
Not sure why I give that a run.

IIRC it was used on a whim,
So things shouldn't get grim.
Never fear, we'll be BFF's all the time.
TTYL unless you're a mime.

There we are. Did you get them all at my bar? Used easy ones too. I did not want to completely confuse you. Like TTFB or IDGAS or something like that. Now I have you thinking at your mat. Do not worry those thoughts will pass. Tomorrow you will have new ones thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Don't Idle About Reading The Title I Shout!

Isn't it funny how humans are such following creatures? Idolizing idiots that they see in features? Especially when all of it is fake and there is probably more brains in a polluted lake.

Oh to idol,
Stuck in a bridle.
Horse to a jockey.
But he plays hockey.

He can hit a puck.
Beat on some schmuck.
And oh what luck.
Your idol endorses a Ford truck.

Idols are so great.
You can just relate.
Give your body a twerk,
Act like a jerk.

Your idol says so.
They make a great show.
Wow! They are on TV!
So you have to agree.

Your idol is skinny.
Unlike a bear named Winnie.
That is how you have to be.
Again, they said so on TV.

Your idol gets away,
With anything at their bay.
So go out and play,
Destroy things through the day.

They did it and won.
It so has to be done.
What a great feeling,
That cell with a short ceiling.

But that isn't all.
Your idol wrote on the wall.
Vote for him because I did.
Has to be great if it has their bid.

After all with money in their pocket,
Plug into their BS socket.
Even with brain cells of a mule,
Their pick is so so cool.

So idol and never idle,
When life goes homicidal.
For idling isn't like your idol,
Don't forget to be suicidal.

And there we are. The cat idol's no one at his bar. Blind in one eye and deaf in one ear unable to see or hear clear, is all that will come to pass. So forget about it, says my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.