Pat Hatt's Blog, page 199

A dVerse Yogibogeybox Must Contain Socks!

So today we are truly going to get dVerse. I hope this Yogibogeybox does not give us anything perverse. Oh it will be fun to see what is in the Yogibogeybox I found hanging from a nearby tree.

What is a Yogibogeybox you ask?
Well let's put that to the task.
Yogi Bear flicking boogers in a box?
That would sure curl your socks.

Nope, it is an apparatus used by some guy,
Or girl, who chants towards the sky.
A spiritualist I guess they are called.
With that name they should be appalled.

Let's open this Yogibogeybox shall we?
I want to open it and see.
The cat finds a candle, whoopi.
Those things are far too waxy.

But look there is a stick.
Wow, that snapped some slick.
A journal type thing.
Not fancy, so wasn't from Betsy's wing.

Nope, no list in there.
Definitely not from her lair.
But look there is some hair.
Hmmm hair of a yak, rather rare,

An alien finger.
I guess it did linger.
Or maybe its rubber.
A piece of dear Flubber?

Hmm maybe they took bogey literally.
That one won't be touched by me.
Some sort of paint.
If I spill it will the Yogibogeybox I taint?

A note at the bottom too,
Meaning some paper to chew.
The most important thing is self it states.
Was this written by the crazy Fates?

Why have a box if it can't fit yourself?
To make it look fancy on the shelf?
Just so you can say Yogibogeybox every day?
Yogibogeyboxes are just confusing I say.

No spiritual Yogibogeybox for me.
I don't get it at my sea.
Just go slap a bogey in a box,
Then go eat some mighty fine socks.

So what is in your Yogibogeybox? I hope something better than socks. By the way the Gawker gawks, I doubt he has a Yogibogeybox. But a box would be fun for the whole class, if empty it would be jumped in by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

On Our Way Today We Do A Little Xylomancy Play!

Xylomancy is on the table today. It should be fun to do at my bay. It is the art of defining the past, present or future through the shape of a twig. I guess it beats the dung of a pig.


 So these twigs say,The future is in disarray.See it is one big mess.You saw that, confess.
Or maybe the past went boom.It was all doom and gloom.Those aliens came with the probe,They got all ancient humans across the globe.

 This one states today,You will have something to say.Just look at the comments below!Yippee, I'm right at my show.
But it also says to me,That tomorrow you will come to my sea.There you will have your say.Damn, I'm good at this at my bay.

 This one says in the future cats will fly.We will soar through the sky.Our tails will just spin.I consider that a win.
But it says your past sucks.You got pecked by ducks.They ate all your bread.You cried all night in bed.

 This one states stay away.It holds bees that cause dismay.You will get stung from foot to ass,If you try and trespass.
It also says the past was great,For those with an outlaw trait.They went to fight at high noon.While tumbleweeds danced under the moon.

 And finally we have a sunny day.What more can it really say?There will be sun.Go out and have some fun.
But the future has rain.That is just a pain.And you'll leave your window down too.That was not very smart of you.
There we are you have just been xylomancy-ed at my bar. Did you see what I saw? If no, it is okay you have such a flaw. Just keep trying your xylomancy skills. One day you can do it to pay the bills. Now I will eat a twig like bass because they are so tasty to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Porn Attack At My Shack!

So the other day at the cat's bay, I logged in to check my blog list and make sure there was no new post I missed. It turns out there were quite a few and by the pictures they sure had quite the umm view.

What is this?
I'm all for bliss,
But not here.
Keep your porn cheer.

Who could it be?
Someone screwing with me?
The blog has been hacked?
The cat is being attacked.

Nope, all is the same.
Just these posts aren't tame.
Who could they be from?
Did I follow a porn addict and then some?

Maybe the gawker got really tired,
Told animal mating on the Discovery channel they were fired.
Then upped his game.
No longer is his sea tame.

Nope, he is fine.
Numb Tongue with a new umm feline?
Nope, not her.
She is still full of fur.

The angry lurker showing more,
Than just boobies at his shore?
Or those beer guys going nuts,
With more than bare butts?

Maybe the redneck finding a zit,
And going crazy about it?
Or she got freaky in some snow.
I guess off to the rink she did go.

Mary or Mary or Other Mary,
Wanting to be really merry?
Theresa becoming a freak?
Truedessa creating a porn leak?

Manzanita or Terry checking all for worms?
Rosey with some giveaway and terms?
The ninja wannabe and his nude gardening show?
Geez, I just don't know.

50 posts in a row,
Each one a porn show.
Someone was busy.
That many may make one dizzy.

It had the cat a bit confused, but now he is obviously amused. It seems that someone on my list had not posted in a while and changed their blog address to a new dial. So some chap came along and took their old address then used a redirect to send out their porn mess. Now if your blog list every has porn in mass you know why thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Whoopdi Friggin Doo Tells Things That Are True!

Robbie Raisin is here today. I guess with this A to Z thing I will play. But wasn't the alphabet learned in primary? Okay, I won't be contrary. For W we go to Whoopdi Friggin Doo where we are going to get the truth on all of you.

So Truedessa, let's start with you. What really turns you on at your zoo?

Wow, where do I begin
heads in a jar with a grin
aliens in some funky skin

Now there is a fetish for the ages. I don't want to be near her as her fire rages. Optimistic long named guy, what is the best gift you ever gave under your sky?

The gift that keeps on giving
Dog poop makes life worth living  

I bet they thought it was the shit. Hank, can you top that hit?

Now it is #6
Gets one transfixed

Is that some kind of drug? Silver Fox who would you like to hug?

At my loop!
I'd really be in dutch
So thank you very much!

Errr ummm okay. I hope you don't pay. Alex who would you very much like to meet and greet?

a nine-breasted alien with six peckers

Damn, you really think big. Theresa do you hang from a tree or twig?

Only 1 giveaway in the works now, and sadly, not for you, you mean Canadian!

Can a raisin be Canadian or anything else for that matter? Brian, do you just gawk or chatter?

It seems another breast is just out of reach

I'll take that as just gawk. Manzanita it is your turn to talk.

don't leave in a bitter flitter
Or you'll be called a boobie quitter

Wise advice for Brian I guess. Beer Guys anything to add to this mess?

Because nine breasts are four and a half times better than two, and that's just basic math.

Okay, moving on now. Susan with a slash in her name, telling me something to wow.

Seeing such a multi-sexed beauty would take a lot of beer

Brian, look what you did? Rosey can you add something about a squid?

The Halloween Nazi has been known to retaliate

Well that was out of the blue.Humbird, please give some advice to the crew.

I realize the beer psychology
is counter- wise

A counter is wise? Tabbies of trout towne, any cat cries?

heer comez a dam burd  

You need to get over that. Terry, what do you have under your hat?

some turds... so maybe you won something after all

That has to stick in the hair, viewers beware.  Mary Kirkland can you tell us about all of this alien fuss?

a whole new idea to the thought of being probed

I guess all need their kicks. Claudia are you thankful for more than sticks?

i'm glad i don't have nine breast...just think about the fuzz when you want to buy a new bra then

Okay, be glad for that. Robyn care to share about more than scat?

Thanks for keeping balls in blue

Sure, any time. Sandra are you in love with a mime?

It pays to look down

Size does matter you say, okay! Sherry, with such things do you play?

I have plenty of those prizes at my bay

Hmmm this is getting dirty. Betsy, are you also flirty?

yeah, I'm confused

That happens in old age. Brian the cat, what's in your cage?

It pays to look down or you will step with a frown

Still hung up on being snipped? Mary has your gift been shipped?

don't want this burst

What burst? Remembering Grace, quench our knowledge thirst.

I didn't realize how annoying that word was until now, actually.
So I actually went to my blog and searched the front page...
Seven instances of the word 'actually'.
I actually must go now and edit my life.
Actually.

Wow, you are rather mouthy I will say. Thanks to her our time has gone away. That is all truth you will learn. Until next time when Whoopdi Friggin Doo gives you your turn.

******************
You guys exposed a ton with this Whoopdi Friggin Doo run. Hopefully no one sees it on the air. Who knew such fetishes were at every lair? Some need to go roll in the grass and be as calm as my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

I Will Vastate You At My Zoo!

So for V I thought I would really help thee. I am going to vastate you all at my hall. By the time we are through you won't blink an eye when such things come in view.

 
By the time I am through,This face will never again grace you.When my vastate is complete.You won't look twice at your street.
I will give you time to prepare.You may need it at your lair.At first this could be an awful fate,So breathe and get ready to vastate.
Are you ready to go?Trust me, I started off easy at my show.There are far worse out there.I will just ease you in at my lair.
 
Back boobs are so scary.Some can even be super hairy.Just look and don't flinch.Soon you'll want to measure them by inch.
 
Creepy food is rather yuck.Gloria may just be in luck.Now she can make it with ease,I vastated her so it's a breeze.
 
Don't like hairy feet?The cat thinks they are neat.Can yank the hair and run.See, even nasty can be fun.

 Look at that moon.Sure won't make any swoon.But it isn't so cough cough bad.We all have one at our pad.
 
Just sit and stare.This is a big beware.Don't want this in the mirror,So make sure they stay clearer.
 
And the one you have been waiting for,Zombie feet get a yearly encore.I've already vastated most on these,So looking passed them should be a breeze.
 
And the nastiest of all,If you are in the know at your hall.That is not food one bit,It's from a dog and isn't spit.  Have you guess what vastate means yet? Nasty, would be your thought I bet. But nope, not at all. It means to make immune at ones hall. Now that you have seen such things come to pass, you are immune to them all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Up Up And Away Today At My Bay!

So for U what can the cat do? I did united last year as the puppets had a hand up their rear. So why not just use that. No, no repeats at my mat. Up is the word of today here at my bay.

It was a toss up today,
What would end up on display.
I never get all worked up though.
I just bucked up at my show.

So you may be barking up the wrong tree,
If you think bringing up the rear is me.
Chalk that up to the rhymes.
I do not clam up like mimes.

But I can cheer you up.
No need to gas up a pup.
Don't gang up on me.
Hands up if you have to pee.

Sit up and take notice everyone.
Shape up or ship out and run.
If you take me up on that,
Then this can be wrapped up by the cat.

Guess I have to stay up to no good.
Don't turn your nose up at my hood.
Things are looking up now.
Tomorrow you may laugh it up or have a cow.

Could go shack up with someone.
Own up to it, it is fun.
Did he pick up the tab?
Hopefully you didn't get all dolled up in a cab.

You sure fouled that up.
Ease up on that coffee cup.
Everything is coming up roses.
Truedessa may now do bottoms up poses.

Live it up today.
Get all jacked up at your bay.
Sit up all night.
Strike up a conversation or fight.

The stars would then be lined up.
Hopefully before a well up in years hiccup.
So what have you been up to?
I take it you have no one to talk up at your zoo?

Are you up against it?
Work your way up past that fit.
Get laid not laid up at your bay.
Glad I could whip something up for you today.

Are you up to speed yet? Hopefully you are not up early like this pet. Don't get worked up over my post. Shape up and understand the rhyming host. Or just go watch Up in mass and forget about my uppity up little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Bug Eyed Creep Is Taking Another Super Leap!

Did you think the A to Z could stop me from releasing a book or three? Never ever, the cat is far too cleaver. So for T today the bug eyed creep is back on display. But not just once, three more tales come due with that Tarsier Man dunce.

First it is Captain Pat, Truedessa and the cat,
How did they get with that dingbat?
I guess he landed on their ship,
And let his tune rip.

He was after a thief,
For causing all grief.
Some how they get stuck inside a whale,
This sure is one strange tale.




Click Here to have a peer!
Next we have another clown,
He really makes the cat frown.
Drazin is back on the scene.
This time he is rather mean.

Tarsier Man frees the jerk.
That is great super hero work.
The fool was fooled.
Tarsier Man got schooled.




Click Here to have a peer!
And next perhaps the weirdest of all,
Tarsier Man walks by an arcade hall.
He then gets sucked into the game.
Now he has to fight zombies that aren't tame.

Did I mention something crass?
It really does come to pass.
As he fights the zombies mass,
He flies out a zombie birds ass.




Click Here to have a peer!
So there we are, three more at my bar. Guess what? That makes over 30 books now at my hut. Damn, the cat is good. 50 is drawing near at my hood. So feel free to look up the bug eyed creep in mass with 9 tales so far for him from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Some dVerse Fun For Round Twenty One!

So for S at my bay we have the usual on display. S stands for Search Engine Nuts. Many of them have had to have sniffed one too many butts. These ones sure are dVerse. For something new let's give them a little go in verse.

On what to watch you are torn,
Pop in some marrypoppinsporn
You will sure get a thrill.
But why oh why does my thingy not work means your ill.

I feel your pain at my snip snip sea.
Although dressed up hamsters on my head scares me.
What? No naked hamsters allowed?
My mommy made me the best thing ever, be proud.

I sure hope that was a child.
Naked birds are all over, wild!
Do I sense a pattern today?
My truck broke my foot on my birthday

I guess not, rats!
Fortheloveofallthatismightybats
Geez, learn to use the space bar.
Manly hands are touching my face, in a car?

I guess it beats girlie hands of doom.
Pamela Anderson used my bathroom
Angry Lurker are you going all fetish at your sea?
Tall towers are right in front of me

But how tall are you?
Who let the dogs out who who who who
One too many who's I think.
The cat pissed in the kitchen sink

It was not any cat at this bay.
My cat is really pissing me off today
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Look it is a moon and a willy, pray for dawn.

Do we even want to touch that one?
Sensible people are never any fun.
With that one I can just about agree.
I see you, i really see you i see u, u I see u see

Talking to yourself in the mirror before a walk?
Spies have so many wys to make you talk
Looks like you can't even type fully.
My middle finger is such a bully.

Chop that sucker off and no more bullies in ones face.
Sorry underwear for taking you to that place
Hmmm okay and the winner as we put this to bed,
Tame donkeys spit in my ear and puked on my head

Wow, and you just felt you had to share it? Do donkeys even spit? Well there has been round twenty one. Was it not fun? Not sure how these search engines phrases find me in mass but they are ever so useful to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

How The Heck Can You Retromingent On Any Deck?

For R today the cat will pose a question at his bay. How can one retromingent at their sea? It sounds kind of tricky. Any idea at all? Do you even know the meaning at your hall? Well I guess we should get to that. I have to be a semi-nice cat.

Retromingent is everywhere.You see it at many a lair.You just don't notice as you stop and stare,Well from this day forth you will be aware.
But I can't spoil the fun.Can't tell you yet with my retromingent run.Can you decide what it means,By the pics below on your screens?

Watch out, they spit.May have a spitting fit.But they are retromingent too.How? I'll leave that up to you.

My, what big yap.That would be an awful trap.Retromingent and bad breath.You might just wish for death.

A relative to me.But no snip snip spree.Lucky retromingent guy.He can still let it fly.

Look it's dinner.A sure fire winner.What? The cat isn't picky at his hut.Even if it is a retromingent nut.

Another relative of some sort.He looks like a good sport.But he might enter your snow fort.If he goes to retromingent, abort!

Don't they look cute?The masked bandit brute.Plus a super hero soon on a big screen near you.But still, he is retromingent too.
  So can you guess?Come now, confess?What is your first thought?Are you confused by the lot?
Fine, be that way.Don't share at my bay.But if you guessed fur mate,You'd be wrong as it means to backwards urinate.
Did I not give you enough clues? Are you singing the blues? Unable to get retromingent means animals that urinate backwards at your sea? Shame on thee. It was such an easy A to Z pass. At least now you know thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Skill Test With Such Zest!

Oh look you win there at your bin. But we have to make sure you know such easy math at your show. Have to be smarter than a second grader at your sea. Who cares if they are pointless and easy.

Two plus two,
What comes due?
Take away three,
You following me?

Times that by ten.
Do you need a pen?
Minus zero from it.
Don't have a fit.

What number strikes a pose?
Use your fingers and toes.
Now times it by eight.
Can you take the bait?

Take away five.
Will you get out alive?
This is so tough.
Have you got the stuff?

Add another eight.
Don't give me hate.
You need a test.
To prove you are the best.

Times that by two.
Easy enough for you.
You need a calculator you say?
My, you are taking all day.

Just take away six.
Like lottery picks.
Six minus that,
Is what at your mat?

You still don't know?
Well away we go.
Divide that by eighty.
That alright by you, matey?

It's a pirate's life for me.
Out on the sea.
Take away one,
And now you are done.

Do you get the prize,
And prove you are wise?
Or will we draw again.
Hope there was enough ink in your pen.

The cat does not know what the point in these are. But it is getting pretty bad near and far when people can't do such things in their head. How do they even get out of bed? It's not like it is a big number mass. Sure beats my one little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.