Pat Hatt's Blog, page 196

With This Blip It Is Time For Another Trip!

It has been a while since the cat took you on a trip. So I guess it is time we let another trip post rip. Today were are not going to visit the gate of the gods or Oak Island searching for treasure with cods. Nope, today we are going to Hell. Isn't that swell?


So here we are,Many have to travel far.But when they get there,They have reached Hell's lair.
In a Turkmenistan desert far far away,Some Soviet scientists decided to play.They want to dig for oil and such,Or drill more than a touch.
I suppose they wouldn't want to use their hands.How would they then be able to wave from the stands?After they discovered such riches,They would not want to look like they dug ditches.
Anyway, they set everything up,Sure they also sucked coffee from their cup.Then they went ready, set, go!I guess their ducks weren't all in a row.
They waved goodbye to their drill,Hell sucked it up like a pill.Hell then gave a fart,I guess it took the pill to heart.
They had to get rid of the gas.It could kill even a bass.That just would not do.So they got together their crew.
They decided to fight gas with gas.Yep, so many brain cells in that mass.So they lit Hell on fire.Redundant like rubber to a tire.
But they did it anyway.Expecting the fire to stop any day.Instead over 40 years later,It is still burning in the crater.
Hell is here to stay.The piper you must pay. Wonder if he takes Canadian money?Loonies he may find too funny.
So if you find yourself in Turkmenistan,Where obviously turkey's and men are a stan fan,You can go to the middle of the Karakum Desert,To the Door of Hell and flirt.
Don't you now what to visit there? Aren't you glad the cat made you aware? You can walk to the center of a giant litterbox, preferably with shoes and socks, then stare at fire in a hole. My, that is a lofty goal. Enjoy your next travel pass from my ever so traveling little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

Whoopdi Friggin Doo Creates A Zoo!

Robbie Raisin is back and ready to search out the blogger pack. Yeah, it seems they all wound up in the zoo. Who knew? I did! I knew they all flipped their lid. They are all quite nuts anyway. That makes for quite the display. Just read what they said, you will also shake your head.

Look in this cage, a ninja wannabe let's lose his rage:

Breasts yes, peckers no! Breasts yes, peckers no! Breasts yes, peckers no!

A broken record too, who knew?  Here we have an R. Why the hell does anyone what to see an R behind a bar?

Great post!
Great post!
Great post!
Great post!
Great post!

Okay! Is that all you say? A Rosey caged one does not seem to be having fun.

Ew, ew, ew, and ew. All the way down the line ew.

OCD much? Don't touch! Here is a rare Irish breed. I hear they have a thing for a cat breed.

And the Cat was almost an American. But US custom officials sensed his mum was pregnant when she was trying to cross the border. They sent her back.

Obsessed much? She bites, don't touch!  Here is number, what is it? Hank's not #1 today at the zoo pit.

zenzizenzizenzic one gets overly tongue-tied

Still doing math? Do you like your bird bath? Here we have Truedessa being true or is it blue?

brought to you by the rhyming cat
my breakfast just may go splat

Ewww maybe Rosey saw her hurl. Stand far far back from this splating girl. Optimistic you can be when you visit this cage to see:

Those are some hairy-ass feet
And some rather gross looking hand-meat  

See! Keith even explains himself for you. What a nice thing to do.  Let's give Brian the cat a try. I hear he might poke you in the eye.

Yep, we've been vastated and yucktated!

A new kind of snip snip? No wonder you have a pout-y lip. Sherry wants to have her say from her zoo display.

Now that I've been vastated, I'm going to go vomit!

You were snip snipped too? How can that be true? Farawayeyes may shed some light. She also may bite. 

My head with math equations might explode

A challenge I guess. But it could make quite the mess. Manzanita is having some fun or a drunken run.

Fluey ka flu and limpa ka zoo
Your word works like magic in the midst of a coup

Is that a new Disney song? Can't we all just get along? Mary Kirkland is at play. She seems to be in dismay.

I was going to eat breakfast, but I think I'll wait until I stop gagging.

Some bad meat or a rotten treat? The tabbies of trout towne are here, have no fear.

.N they talk bout uz $hittin in de litter box N hurlin hairballs

They don't talk right. There must be a bird in sight. Susan wants a turn to feel the burn.

My bad luck to visit you right before I sit down to dinner,
Thanks to these nasty pix, tomorrow I'll be thinner.

I guess she doesn't like her zoo mates. Do you want me to open the gates? Terry is worming around. I wonder what will be found?

Back boobs are really scary and so are those toenails.

Another describing themselves in the zoo, all just for you.  Elsie wants to play too. What can a one eye do?

Dangnabbit! I wrote a comment twice already. Let me try one more time.

Writing on thin air. Shhhh don't tell her at her lair. Now to the near extinct spot. I guess Betsy isn't doing so hot.

yes, I'm old...

Hmm that is it? You may not be a fun exhibit. Brian may gawk with some life. Hang on to your wife.

..........................

Stop gawking at me. You are creepy. Theresa is much nicer I say. Just look at her play. 

There is only one innocent from your list. Yep, it's me you mean Canadian!

Hates Canadians, check! If Canadian hit the deck. Remembering Grace is trying to hide her face.

You would put me last and blame ME for sucking all the air out of the room...HAHAHAHA!
Well, I ACTUALLY have to go now, BYE! LOL 

She is trying to leave a  locked cage. What's with the last rage? Betty gets to be last with this zoo cast.

I am immune now, so that is okay!

Got your shots all up to date. That is a good fate. So now you have seen the blogland zoo. I hope you enjoyed your trip with Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

*********************************
Wow, you all ended up in the zoo. Are the cages nice to live in for each of you? I hope they were large and no high rents they decided to charge. Maybe you will even get fed bass. You need to learn to slip through the bars like my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.  

A Little dVerse Ad Play Here Today!

So you hop here and there, looking at many a site at your lair. Not in email with their junk or pop ups which are no longer around much and stuffed in a trunk. No, you see much that is dVerse, enough that it may make you curse.

What a nice site,
It sounds alright.
Let's give it a click.
Waiting, waiting, dick.

Closed the thing,
Didn't even load at ones wing.
And why is that?
The ads would not scat.

You've got ads stuff,
That is good and tough.
Ads for things you searched the other day.
Hmm spying on you at your bay?

Just Google having fun.
Watching what you done.
Now back on task,
Before you are tempted to ask.

The biggest secret around.
This ad is always found.
For diet, muscle or ummm height.
Somehow these uber secret ways are hidden from sight.

But here they are,
On the side bar.
If the thing ever loads up,
Before you empty your coffee cup.

Oh look it's done,
Time for fun.
Oops, still stuck.
What the umm truck.

A song plays,
Spreading sunny rays.
Nope, not sunny.
Makes things more turtle than bunny.

Finally everything is there,
Time to search their lair.
Click on this page,
Strike the rage.

Has to load all over again.
Damn this slow den.
How did you last this long?
At least you can sing a song.

Have fun on those oh so dVerse sites do you? At least you can see something new. With ads here, there and everywhere you may even find some new undies at your lair. The slow ones usually have captcha in mass. That just adds to the aggravation of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

This Post Is Posted Is Your Brain Toasted?

Let's have an obvious day here at my bay. It will allow you to give your brain a rest. That is if you can pass the obvious test. If not, you may curse at my obvious plot. I guess we shall see if you go on a cursing spree.

This post has words.
Flip me the birds.
Water is wet.
It's a safe bet.

You work at work.
Or maybe just lurk.
A dog will bark,
And leave its mark.

A house houses you.
Confused at your zoo?
A trip is a trip.
Don't give me lip.

A fax is faxed,
And probably taxed.
A plane is plain,
Unless private at ones lane.

Your legs can walk.
Don't sit and gawk.
You need to talk to talk,
Unless you can squawk.

Fire is hot.
Glad you're taught.
Rhymes rhyme,
All the time.

A screw screws.
Hammer it, can't lose.
Eyes can see.
A gawker like spree.

Steal to steal.
Stealing is real.
Save easily saves,
My rants and raves.

A preview previews.
Is that old news?
Carry on is carried on.
Nope, not a con.

To move you must move,
Or sit in a groove.
When sleeping you sleep,
Hopefully good and deep.

When looking at this you look there at your nook. Or reading it you read there at your feed. Have you read that you read while at work or in bed? A question can question things, even for kings. But they may treat you like gas. So off I go with my obvious little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

What Is The Big Deal With Such A Water Wheel?

Water, water everywhere. All you humans stop and stare. Why is that? It is just liquid to the cat. Some gets on me and I just shake it off at my sea. Cassie hates it though. I guess I am not a typical cat at my show.

Water in a lake,
In things you bake,
Even in a park.
Seems to hit the mark.

Humans go down slides,
And other silly rides,
Just to get wet.
Sure confuses the pet.

Wasn't that done in the shower?
Why go down some big tower,
Or jump in a big pool?
I guess it beats dog drool.

You suck it back with glee,
Yeah, that is done by me.
But not with flavor this or that,
Or other things that make one fat.

Even add stuff to it,
To make it a hit.
Fluoride heads everywhere,
Just have to stop and stare.

Shoot it out of guns,
Sprinkle grass tons.
Wash a car too.
Doesn't rain do all of that for you?

Seems like a waste of time,
And money, if it costs a dime.
Can't you fake it like a mime?
Hmmm that could be a crime.

I have to mention too,
That what is there could be kinda eww.
For some just let in flow,
But I'm sure that you know.

Besides every drop of water on Earth,
Has done something of worth.
Every drop has come out of a person or animal too.
Doesn't that make you want to get a drink at your zoo?

At least there is one on which we can agree.
The beach, a giant litterbox by the sea.
Different reasons I suppose.
When you go, watch your toes.

Obsessed with water at your sea? Sea, get it from me? I crack myself up. Must have been something in my cup. Then you go and pollute it in mass. You humans sure are confusing to me little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

At The Tone Know The Phone!

The phone can ring or sing at every wing. But did you know there is a different type to each at your show? The cat will teach you just in case you are now confused and feeling abused at my place.

The phone gives a ring,
Your ears it can sting.
But that you know,
So away we go.

Pick up and click,
What a dick.
The almost call,
Can drive one up the wall.

The you have won!
I hear that a ton.
But first you pay.
Hmmm not winning I say.

The f this and that,
By some old dingbat.
They can't find "print screen,"
There at their scene.

The wrong number,
While you slumber.
Yet the fool calls back again.
Can't get things right at their den.

The upgrade that is about to fade.
A deal must be made.
Oops, was that a click?
Yep, I can be a dick.

The out of the blue,
Someone misses you.
Hmmm they want something.
Sorry, have no bling.

The what the hell,
As your phone rings its bell.
A conversation is at play,
Thanks to a butt dialing foray.

The obvious caller,
They just like to holler.
They are bored talking to the cat,
So they call you, stat!

The one you want to hear,
But would rather have near.
Then no need for a phone.
Why do we bother which such a tone?

And there we go, just for you many phone call types show. Got any to add at your sea? Maybe you want to give a big screw you to AT&T? That is okay, go for it at my bay. Now after this phone mass, I will go see if I can butt dial with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Toy Or Two That Could Be Fun For You!

The cat is here to help you today. You humans need to learn how to play. That 9 to 5 crap all day just needs to go away. So never fear you will be saved by my little rhyming rear.

 
Climb up high,Look to the sky.Play I spy.Give it a try.
 
Give a dirty look,There at your nook.Make all around ask why,Fun to give a try.
 
Run through a cave,It is all the rave.It is tasty, no lie.Go ahead, give it a try.

Watch bird TV. Or silly humans run free.My, they are spry.Go give it a try.
 
Grab a fuzzy ball,Then run down the hall.Climb really high.Care to give it a try?
 
See, mouse on a string.I was not lying at my wing.Chew it and give a happy sigh.A full belly needs a try.
 
Play weigh down the couch.Also act like a grouch.A two in one try.That couch may die.
 
Spread out on the counter top.Then cooking will be a flop.Watch as some human girl or guy,Swears on the first try.
 
Move to make them happy,When they get all sappy."Get off!" they will cry,Just jump down then up for another try.
 And pick on cats too.That is fun to do.Never give up the bed,After such play you need to rest your head.
There you are today. Now go climb things, roll on counters and play. It is so fun to do. You can even eat some TP too. That is my final play thing for you. Hmmm going gutter at my zoo. I better go eat some grass. That is also fun to do for my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.

Are You Trying To Speak A Little Greek?

Ever meet those nuts that can't say yes or no? They just say some crap thing at their show. I guess those words are too hard to say or maybe their brain gets zapped when they say them at their bay.

Words are grand,
Across the land.
Forget yes or no,
Away we go.

It was such fun,
Almost exactly done.
Kinda relevant too,
At least to you.

An amateur expert is at play.
That has to cause expert experts dismay.
A new classic in the making,
It is mine for the taking.

That was one bright night.
Dark yet there was light?
Made up by a butthead,
While lying in bed?

I like being a wise fool,
And at least I don't drool.
It it so terribly nice,
And well worth the price.

Has a tense calm come over you?
What are you to do?
Call me toll free.
I have a phone in a tree.

You have even odds.
Of reaching cats or cods?
We have to keep this equally diverse,
Or some people may curse.

Maybe I need to go to Greece,
Avoid this fighting for peace.
Might get caught half naked though,
Or half dressed at my sow.

Are you a big man child,
Out and about running wild?
Maybe modestly arrogant instead?
Think on what I said.

So is that a firm maybe?
Can I take that as a yes from thee?
A definite maybe you say?
So that is a no at play?

Get each oxymoron at my sea? Or did they fly over the head of thee? Isn't it fun when they give you such crap instead of a yes or no lap? I guess it beats a bunch of sass directed toward my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Why Are Turkey's Stalking Me At My Sea?

So from the stats it seems Turkey's are after the cat in teams. I mean they are all around. They know where I am found. Why would a Turkey want to tangle with a cat? I guess we shall have to see about that.

Maybe they want some Chile.
That would be silly.
I do not eat that.
Go bug another cat.

Or they were tired,
Of never getting hired.
The Virgin Islands won't let them play.
That must cause them dismay.

So they want to go,
Way way down below.
To the nether regions,
Err umm Netherlands in legions.

Or they could just want to sing,
Dance about like a ding a ling.
Go all Greece Lightning and prance,
Do some sort of chicken dance.

Could want to slip and slide.
They could do it with pride.
Nearing an Iceland with no ice.
Hope their ice skates weren't full price.

Maybe Santa would not talk.
So they took a long walk.
Christmas Island was too cheery.
It ended up getting rather eerie.

They could want their own pet.
That could be a safe bet.
But they won't get the cat.
They need a rodent like New Guinea stat.

Could go all Donkey Kong.
That might turn out wrong.
But beat on their bongo,
Playing for all in the Congo.

But it is a rotten report,
I'm sorry to be bringing to you at my court.
It seems the Turkey's were for sport,
And they were trying to abort.

Sadly Hungary had a Turkey,
Turned them into jerky.
Hungary was hungry I guess.
Hungary for Turkey, lame? Confess!

Some places have the most fun names and the cat can use them for rhyming games. So if Turkey ever tries to invade my place, I will just call Hungary up and put a smile on their face. Finger licking good in their Hungary hood. Okay, my fun has come to pass as I am now a hungry for turkey little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Markets Are dVerse And A Bit Perverse!

So for dVerse today into some strange markets we will stray. Who knows what will come due. Maybe the cat will even help you find something at your zoo. But if it is one of these, don't tell me or I will send you fleas.

There is a market for this,
There is a market for that.
I guess some need bliss,
Why? Sure beats the cat.

A market for creeps,
Who must have a pair.
They count sheeps,
After buying used underwear.

A market for the wacky,
They are so very strange.
Some may call it tacky,
But buy a bride and make a change.

A market for parts,
From toes to heads.
Even some hearts,
Elephant feet for meds.

A market that is swell,
But could cause you to itch.
You might get sent to Hell.
It is the market of the witch.

A market for a snapper,
Or some big thug.
Must be a trapper,
To get the real crocodile rug.

A market that is nuts,
And really out there.
Must sniff butts,
To buy receipts at your lair.

A market for celebrity junk.
Easy to find in the trash.
Wait for them to get drunk,
Grab their used gum and dash.

A market for the arts,
That will get a rise.
Next in all walmarts,
Giant penis art, no lies.

A market for this,
A market for that.
All bring bliss,
To some strange rat.

Now are you hoarding used underwear away or giant penis sculptures at your bay? Wait! I still do not want to know. Let's keep it on the down low. It might be an answer pass that is too scary for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.