Pat Hatt's Blog, page 202
March 30, 2014
The Roar Of The Snore!
So what do you do when your ear drums can take it no more at your zoo? The cat was at the other sea and they sure snore with glee. So much I perk up my ears and run away due to snoring fears.
Hide under the bed,
To avoid the dread.
But it can wake the dead.
Paws over ears on my head.
Nope, that don't work.
Damn, snoring jerk.
Keeping the cat awake.
Drown them in a lake.
Turn on the fan.
They still sound like a trash can.
This is an awful fate.
It is getting late.
Earplugs don't work too.
What can I do?
Try a different room,
And they still bring my ears doom.
The cat needs to pack.
Enough of this ear attack.
Let's go back to our sea,
Where we can sleep snore free.
Sounds like a race horse,
After finishing a course.
Or maybe a train horn.
Some coma induced porn?
Oh what a fetish that would be.
I'm sure it is to a few at their sea.
But we do not want to know.
So snore freak, keep it on the down low.
Maybe I could sell tickets to the attraction?
I could get plenty of action.
Takes bets on the loudest one.
The cat could make a ton.
Bet on length as well.
This could be swell.
Any takers?
Could be money makers.
Better yet I'll get a sock.
Use it as a snore lock.
And if that doesn't work as a buffer,
I'll grab a pillow, hopefully they won't suffer.
So much more peaceful at our sea with no snore spree. How can someone go so loud and not draw a crowd? Quite the freak show I say. Of course in a nice way. Now the cat will go sleep in mass as after that noise he is a tired little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Hide under the bed,
To avoid the dread.
But it can wake the dead.
Paws over ears on my head.
Nope, that don't work.
Damn, snoring jerk.
Keeping the cat awake.
Drown them in a lake.
Turn on the fan.
They still sound like a trash can.
This is an awful fate.
It is getting late.
Earplugs don't work too.
What can I do?
Try a different room,
And they still bring my ears doom.
The cat needs to pack.
Enough of this ear attack.
Let's go back to our sea,
Where we can sleep snore free.
Sounds like a race horse,
After finishing a course.
Or maybe a train horn.
Some coma induced porn?
Oh what a fetish that would be.
I'm sure it is to a few at their sea.
But we do not want to know.
So snore freak, keep it on the down low.
Maybe I could sell tickets to the attraction?
I could get plenty of action.
Takes bets on the loudest one.
The cat could make a ton.
Bet on length as well.
This could be swell.
Any takers?
Could be money makers.
Better yet I'll get a sock.
Use it as a snore lock.
And if that doesn't work as a buffer,
I'll grab a pillow, hopefully they won't suffer.
So much more peaceful at our sea with no snore spree. How can someone go so loud and not draw a crowd? Quite the freak show I say. Of course in a nice way. Now the cat will go sleep in mass as after that noise he is a tired little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
March 29, 2014
The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth At My Booth!
So many people go about and give a tell me the truth shout. But do they really want such a thing always at their wing? A lot of times that seems to be no as they give you, at best, a what do you know.
How do I look?
Like a two bit crook.
I mean oh so nice.
I hope that didn't cost a high price.
How are you?
Happier when you aren't in view.
I mean pretty good.
You just misunderstood.
Do you mind doing this?
I'd like to throw it on the floor and take a piss.
I mean no problem at all.
I'll do it after this call.
Why aren't you done?
Because I'd rather go for a run.
I mean because you're an ass.
Damn, they just come in mass.
Want to donate today?
Rather watch you eat hay.
I mean I already did.
I donated a stuffed squid.
Want to go for lunch?
Not with you pompous bunch.
I mean not today.
Maybe come May.
Would you buy that?
Not even if I was a rat.
I mean sure it looks great.
I hope you didn't pay a huge rate.
Does this make me look fat?
Like a butterball plump rat.
Oh, I mean no way.
Who cares if you'll float in the bay.
Did you hear that?
No, because I'm two feet farther away, you dingbat.
I mean, sure it was such a noise.
Someone is sure playing with fun toys.
Can't you say anything nice?
Sure, for a steep price.
I mean just not to you.
Damn, I hate being true.
So is the truth always a perk? Does it always work? Hmm I guess it depends on who it is to. Some may dunk your head in the loo. Choose wisely your truth battles and sass. You may not get away with it like my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
How do I look?
Like a two bit crook.
I mean oh so nice.
I hope that didn't cost a high price.
How are you?
Happier when you aren't in view.
I mean pretty good.
You just misunderstood.
Do you mind doing this?
I'd like to throw it on the floor and take a piss.
I mean no problem at all.
I'll do it after this call.
Why aren't you done?
Because I'd rather go for a run.
I mean because you're an ass.
Damn, they just come in mass.
Want to donate today?
Rather watch you eat hay.
I mean I already did.
I donated a stuffed squid.
Want to go for lunch?
Not with you pompous bunch.
I mean not today.
Maybe come May.
Would you buy that?
Not even if I was a rat.
I mean sure it looks great.
I hope you didn't pay a huge rate.
Does this make me look fat?
Like a butterball plump rat.
Oh, I mean no way.
Who cares if you'll float in the bay.
Did you hear that?
No, because I'm two feet farther away, you dingbat.
I mean, sure it was such a noise.
Someone is sure playing with fun toys.
Can't you say anything nice?
Sure, for a steep price.
I mean just not to you.
Damn, I hate being true.
So is the truth always a perk? Does it always work? Hmm I guess it depends on who it is to. Some may dunk your head in the loo. Choose wisely your truth battles and sass. You may not get away with it like my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
March 28, 2014
A Review Or Two At Your Zoo!
So today is a little did you know there at your show. Some of it is very wrong and it needs to be sung a little review song. Whether they come on strong or not there is an evil review plot.
The other day,
At the ODesk bay,
The cat applied for this and that,
Making a little money at our mat.
One he thought was easy,
Even if things were cheesy.
It was to review stuff.
Sounded easy enough.
Just needed an Amazon account,
And you could review a huge amount.
Get a whole buck per review,
And then the rules came due.
The reviews would be done for you,
You'd just have to copy and paste at your zoo.
In other words, lie!
The reviews were typed by some other guy.
More than likely the owner of the thing,
They wanted the review on at Amazon's wing.
I played a long for a bit,
Having no intention of doing such umm shit.
Then came the reviews to post.
Made me sick at my coast.
They were reviews for pills and such,
Like vitamins and things that supposedly help much.
They stated in the review,
That everything was so true.
That my doctor told me about it,
And it worked, making it a hit.
Pffft down right criminal there.
Think of how many at every lair,
Are looking for something to work.
They read the fake review and think the pill is a perk.
They waste their dough,
And find it is nothing but dung from a crow.
Worse than that,
They may do more harm than good at their mat.
All because someone got paid a buck,
To tell all they are in luck.
Copy and pasted a review,
Making all believe it is true.
Sickening what these companies do. They hire an outsource overseas crew, get a group to copy and paste reviews and pretend they are getting tons of views. Books,movies, etc. is one thing. But pills and stuff at their wing? Disgusting as can be with their fake spree. 33% of all internet reviews are said to be fake and now you know how they partake. The cat hopes they get beat over the head with a bass. No fake copy and pasted reviews will ever be done by my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your spring, have a fling.
The other day,
At the ODesk bay,
The cat applied for this and that,
Making a little money at our mat.
One he thought was easy,
Even if things were cheesy.
It was to review stuff.
Sounded easy enough.
Just needed an Amazon account,
And you could review a huge amount.
Get a whole buck per review,
And then the rules came due.
The reviews would be done for you,
You'd just have to copy and paste at your zoo.
In other words, lie!
The reviews were typed by some other guy.
More than likely the owner of the thing,
They wanted the review on at Amazon's wing.
I played a long for a bit,
Having no intention of doing such umm shit.
Then came the reviews to post.
Made me sick at my coast.
They were reviews for pills and such,
Like vitamins and things that supposedly help much.
They stated in the review,
That everything was so true.
That my doctor told me about it,
And it worked, making it a hit.
Pffft down right criminal there.
Think of how many at every lair,
Are looking for something to work.
They read the fake review and think the pill is a perk.
They waste their dough,
And find it is nothing but dung from a crow.
Worse than that,
They may do more harm than good at their mat.
All because someone got paid a buck,
To tell all they are in luck.
Copy and pasted a review,
Making all believe it is true.
Sickening what these companies do. They hire an outsource overseas crew, get a group to copy and paste reviews and pretend they are getting tons of views. Books,movies, etc. is one thing. But pills and stuff at their wing? Disgusting as can be with their fake spree. 33% of all internet reviews are said to be fake and now you know how they partake. The cat hopes they get beat over the head with a bass. No fake copy and pasted reviews will ever be done by my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your spring, have a fling.
March 27, 2014
What Makes A Fad Turn Rad?
Have you ever saw something so dumb that someone gave a hum, then weeks later it was an in thing and all were giving it a ring? Yeah, I think we have all been there. So what makes it a fad at ones lair? Answers, anyone? I guess we will have to see under my sun.
You'd think your chain I'd be yanking,
If I said it was an in thing to be Planking.
What a moronic thing to do.
Some humans really have no friggin clue.
And why bother courting?
Just kill yourself with Condom Snorting.
That sounds oh so fun.
It should be done by no one.
This one deserves some plugging,
It is called Butt Chugging.
Stick a hose or tube up your ass,
And chug the liquor in mass.
The Cinnamon Challenge is the best.
It beats all the rest.
Put a spoon full in your mouth,
And let your lungs die as it heads south.
This one is always lurking,
Shake your alcohol filled ass with Twerking.
At least a drunk ass explains it.
How did such a thing ever become a hit?
Then some are not all super bad,
Like owls at every pad.
Who the heck decided owls were in?
I guess this year owls win.
Zombies here, there and everywhere.
They are at every lair.
They are in everything.
What next? They will sing?
Those pictures on the back of cars.
That shout out to all from here to Mars,
I have this many family members, here look!
Who really cares at ones nook?
Then there is saggy pants.
Are they looking for underwear chants?
Look at you with your pants on your knees.
I bet you sure feel a cold breeze.
And one for the ages,
A good paper weight for pages,
My pet rock.
What next? My pet sock?
From the strange to the stranger that could spell danger, you humans are a weird lot. No wonder you are hunted by a Terminator robot. I wonder if the alcohol one makes it hard to pass gas? Wait! That would be too much information for my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
You'd think your chain I'd be yanking,
If I said it was an in thing to be Planking.
What a moronic thing to do.
Some humans really have no friggin clue.
And why bother courting?
Just kill yourself with Condom Snorting.
That sounds oh so fun.
It should be done by no one.
This one deserves some plugging,
It is called Butt Chugging.
Stick a hose or tube up your ass,
And chug the liquor in mass.
The Cinnamon Challenge is the best.
It beats all the rest.
Put a spoon full in your mouth,
And let your lungs die as it heads south.
This one is always lurking,
Shake your alcohol filled ass with Twerking.
At least a drunk ass explains it.
How did such a thing ever become a hit?
Then some are not all super bad,
Like owls at every pad.
Who the heck decided owls were in?
I guess this year owls win.
Zombies here, there and everywhere.
They are at every lair.
They are in everything.
What next? They will sing?
Those pictures on the back of cars.
That shout out to all from here to Mars,
I have this many family members, here look!
Who really cares at ones nook?
Then there is saggy pants.
Are they looking for underwear chants?
Look at you with your pants on your knees.
I bet you sure feel a cold breeze.
And one for the ages,
A good paper weight for pages,
My pet rock.
What next? My pet sock?
From the strange to the stranger that could spell danger, you humans are a weird lot. No wonder you are hunted by a Terminator robot. I wonder if the alcohol one makes it hard to pass gas? Wait! That would be too much information for my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
March 26, 2014
I Raise My Claw To A Migration Law!
So now that the crummy cold weather is mostly, if not fully, through there is a new law the cat thinks should come due. Every year when winter arrives all should be given free airfare some place warm so everyone survives.
The first sign of cold,
All should join the fold.
Go to sands of gold,
So snow never takes hold.
Here is your free ticket.
You can even pick it.
Then stay for free,
At a place by the sea.
All set up for you,
Near the ocean so blue.
You have all the perks,
They throw in the works.
You just have to work a bit.
Now don't throw a fit.
You beat the cold.
Have to clear away the mold.
Just sweep and clean.
No need to make a scene.
If you can't do that,
Run home like a rat.
Otherwise you stay warm,
Avoid every snow storm,
And rest on a beach,
With a drink in reach.
Then when winter is done,
Home you can run.
A free ticket will be yours,
Provided you've done your chores.
This is the law.
Live by the claw.
You can even bring the pup,
As long as you scoop up.
So join on in.
Get rid of cold at your bin.
Hop a plane to a new shore.
There is plenty there to explore.
No one will know cold again.
All will be warm at their den.
And it will be the end of snow.
Sorry snow ploughs, you gotta go.
Wouldn't that be a great law? It may have a bit of a flaw. But what they heck, could pile people on a ship deck. It may get as crowded as can be but you'll still be warm on the sea. Let's just hope a hurricane does not come to pass. That may put a kink in the law made by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
The first sign of cold,
All should join the fold.
Go to sands of gold,
So snow never takes hold.
Here is your free ticket.
You can even pick it.
Then stay for free,
At a place by the sea.
All set up for you,
Near the ocean so blue.
You have all the perks,
They throw in the works.
You just have to work a bit.
Now don't throw a fit.
You beat the cold.
Have to clear away the mold.
Just sweep and clean.
No need to make a scene.
If you can't do that,
Run home like a rat.
Otherwise you stay warm,
Avoid every snow storm,
And rest on a beach,
With a drink in reach.
Then when winter is done,
Home you can run.
A free ticket will be yours,
Provided you've done your chores.
This is the law.
Live by the claw.
You can even bring the pup,
As long as you scoop up.
So join on in.
Get rid of cold at your bin.
Hop a plane to a new shore.
There is plenty there to explore.
No one will know cold again.
All will be warm at their den.
And it will be the end of snow.
Sorry snow ploughs, you gotta go.
Wouldn't that be a great law? It may have a bit of a flaw. But what they heck, could pile people on a ship deck. It may get as crowded as can be but you'll still be warm on the sea. Let's just hope a hurricane does not come to pass. That may put a kink in the law made by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
March 25, 2014
A dVerse Bird Is The Word!
So is it just the cat or does it make little sense at any other mat? Go to advanced education and pay big bucks and then they have courses on monster trucks. So great. It has to be all's fate.
Away you go,
To get in the know.
Learn more of this or that,
Maybe the anatomy of a cat.
But why use your brain?
Lets play with a toy train,
And still pay a ton,
Just to sit and have fun.
A class on love and one on death.
In the end, both leave you out of breath.
What more do you need to know?
Where umm things should go?
A class on movies is so fun.
Sit there and watch a ton.
Paying more to do so then any ticket.
But hey it's so great you can't even pick it.
Life in the universe is great.
Sit, look up and wait.
What more could you ask for?
Warning, it may be a bore.
Cyberporn and Society might be fun.
I wonder how you go about teaching that one?
Must have to watch a lot of porn.
Let your inner freak be born.
This one is strange,
Really out on the range.
Sign up for Alien Sex.
Explore sex between monsters and humans that convex.
The Vampire in literature and cinema is for you.
You can learn what a blood sucker can do.
Maybe even get to play with a dead thing.
Oh how your spirit will sing.
And after paying a whole heaping,
Take finding dates worth keeping.
Learn to stop finding Mr/Mrs Wrong,
So we can all just get along.
Finally, if you want to leave recruiters impressed,
Add the course titled Getting Dressed.
I bet they will hire you on the spot,
So you can dress their robot.
Have you taken any of these? I bet they are a dVerse breeze. Well I don't know about the getting dressed one, the cat is nude after all under his sun. But I am sure all I could pass while napping on my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Away you go,
To get in the know.
Learn more of this or that,
Maybe the anatomy of a cat.
But why use your brain?
Lets play with a toy train,
And still pay a ton,
Just to sit and have fun.
A class on love and one on death.
In the end, both leave you out of breath.
What more do you need to know?
Where umm things should go?
A class on movies is so fun.
Sit there and watch a ton.
Paying more to do so then any ticket.
But hey it's so great you can't even pick it.
Life in the universe is great.
Sit, look up and wait.
What more could you ask for?
Warning, it may be a bore.
Cyberporn and Society might be fun.
I wonder how you go about teaching that one?
Must have to watch a lot of porn.
Let your inner freak be born.
This one is strange,
Really out on the range.
Sign up for Alien Sex.
Explore sex between monsters and humans that convex.
The Vampire in literature and cinema is for you.
You can learn what a blood sucker can do.
Maybe even get to play with a dead thing.
Oh how your spirit will sing.
And after paying a whole heaping,
Take finding dates worth keeping.
Learn to stop finding Mr/Mrs Wrong,
So we can all just get along.
Finally, if you want to leave recruiters impressed,
Add the course titled Getting Dressed.
I bet they will hire you on the spot,
So you can dress their robot.
Have you taken any of these? I bet they are a dVerse breeze. Well I don't know about the getting dressed one, the cat is nude after all under his sun. But I am sure all I could pass while napping on my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
March 24, 2014
#24 Has Some Mutts Close The Tour!
The cat was not sure he would do this again at his den, as it takes a ton of work. But watching the chaos last year made me smirk. So away we will go and last year I did say that there may be a reward at my show. Well I kept the stats for a whole year and now in order the top 24, who are still active, will be shown off by my little rhyming rear. Yep, 24 posts in one day for Pat's birthday make a return to my bay.
In the Corner of My Eye
And last but not least,Comes Mary with her yappy beast.Oh wait! There is three,Unlike Mary who got a whole 1 at my sea.
In the Corner of My Eye?So the front you can't spy?No eyes in back of your head?Oh the dread.
Can find pups galore,There at her shore.With verses each day,Unless to Disneyland she runs away.
Words that will linger,And she won't give you the finger.At least that you will see.So you can visit with glee.
Have you met Mary yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. All 24 down and 0 to go. Did you keep up at my show? We shall see what took place as the cat tallies the stats up for this year at his space. Now go rest after my 24 post mass that is what will be done by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
In the Corner of My Eye
And last but not least,Comes Mary with her yappy beast.Oh wait! There is three,Unlike Mary who got a whole 1 at my sea.
In the Corner of My Eye?So the front you can't spy?No eyes in back of your head?Oh the dread.
Can find pups galore,There at her shore.With verses each day,Unless to Disneyland she runs away.
Words that will linger,And she won't give you the finger.At least that you will see.So you can visit with glee.
Have you met Mary yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. All 24 down and 0 to go. Did you keep up at my show? We shall see what took place as the cat tallies the stats up for this year at his space. Now go rest after my 24 post mass that is what will be done by my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
#23 Likes His Hat Spree!
The cat was not sure he would do this again at his den, as it takes a ton of work. But watching the chaos last year made me smirk. So away we will go and last year I did say that there may be a reward at my show. Well I kept the stats for a whole year and now in order the top 24, who are still active, will be shown off by my little rhyming rear. Yep, 24 posts in one day for Pat's birthday make a return to my bay.
Brian's Home
Brian the cat,Got a whole one at my mat.Can't blame him,He needs a nap on a whim.
Brian's Home?What is it called when you roam?Brian's Out?Brian's Got Trout?
Can find him helping out,With an opt to adopt shout.Many sisters on display,And a green thing or two come to play.
Things might get a little hairy.Hope you don't find hair scary.Find and see cats galore,When you visit his shore.
Have you met Brian the cat yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty three down and 1 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Brian's Home
Brian the cat,Got a whole one at my mat.Can't blame him,He needs a nap on a whim.
Brian's Home?What is it called when you roam?Brian's Out?Brian's Got Trout?
Can find him helping out,With an opt to adopt shout.Many sisters on display,And a green thing or two come to play.
Things might get a little hairy.Hope you don't find hair scary.Find and see cats galore,When you visit his shore.
Have you met Brian the cat yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty three down and 1 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
#22 Has A Duck Bill In View!
The cat was not sure he would do this again at his den, as it takes a ton of work. But watching the chaos last year made me smirk. So away we will go and last year I did say that there may be a reward at my show. Well I kept the stats for a whole year and now in order the top 24, who are still active, will be shown off by my little rhyming rear. Yep, 24 posts in one day for Pat's birthday make a return to my bay.
Mama Diaries
Old Duckbill only got one,In last year's run.Maybe she had a mess,Or was playing Schultz in chess.
I bet the mutt won.Now I am done.Mama Diaries you say?Blog = Diary? No way!
Can find much at her shore,As the kids explore,And the pup eats everything,While the cat gives things a fling.
Or at least turns on the gas,Wastes it in mass.Aren't Duckbill's fun?Go give her a run.
Have you met Sherry yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty two down and 2 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
Mama Diaries
Old Duckbill only got one,In last year's run.Maybe she had a mess,Or was playing Schultz in chess.
I bet the mutt won.Now I am done.Mama Diaries you say?Blog = Diary? No way!
Can find much at her shore,As the kids explore,And the pup eats everything,While the cat gives things a fling.
Or at least turns on the gas,Wastes it in mass.Aren't Duckbill's fun?Go give her a run.
Have you met Sherry yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty two down and 2 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
#21 Is Blue With Fun!
The cat was not sure he would do this again at his den, as it takes a ton of work. But watching the chaos last year made me smirk. So away we will go and last year I did say that there may be a reward at my show. Well I kept the stats for a whole year and now in order the top 24, who are still active, will be shown off by my little rhyming rear. Yep, 24 posts in one day for Pat's birthday make a return to my bay.
The Blue Grumpster...well, usually
The Blue Guy likes to yap,But he couldn't fill the gap.He only got a whole one.Hope it didn't make him more blue with that run.
The Blue Grumpster...well, usually...what?Not always blue at your hut?Do you change colors at your sea?All grammatically correct as well, aren't thee?
He'll put you in his pocket,Err umm put you in his rocket.Maybe even count each birth,As they happen all over Earth.
But don't believe anything he has to say,He'll promise you a Bora Bora getaway.Then it will turn out to be a lie.Maybe you shouldn't visit the blue guy.
Have you met The Blue Guy yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty one down and 3 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
The Blue Grumpster...well, usually
The Blue Guy likes to yap,But he couldn't fill the gap.He only got a whole one.Hope it didn't make him more blue with that run.
The Blue Grumpster...well, usually...what?Not always blue at your hut?Do you change colors at your sea?All grammatically correct as well, aren't thee?
He'll put you in his pocket,Err umm put you in his rocket.Maybe even count each birth,As they happen all over Earth.
But don't believe anything he has to say,He'll promise you a Bora Bora getaway.Then it will turn out to be a lie.Maybe you shouldn't visit the blue guy.
Have you met The Blue Guy yet? Now you have, thanks to the pet. Twenty one down and 3 to go. Can you keep up at my show? We shall see what takes place as all day the cat fills this space. Now get ready for posts in mass that will come from my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.
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