Pat Hatt's Blog, page 206

I May Offend As I Spoil The End!

The cat as the inside scoop today after working very hard at his bay. He just has to share with one and all. Better leave now if you want to avoid spoilers at your hall.


Before the end someone will get screwed.They will find it fun, not rude.Then things will go boom.There will be lots of gloom.

The one time event will turn into two.Next year another will come due.Oh and damn it will be said,So many times it hurts your head.

This is a big one.You better run.A robot will die.None will cry.

A machine will ring a phone.It will leave a message at the tone.It will make no sense.Oops, they forget to deposit ten cents.

A fairy tale character will die.A few people will cry.Then poof!Alive again, just a goof.

 There will be a bash.The Hulk will smash.Maybe stop the case of the week.Putting an NCIS wannabe act up the creek.

Someone will die.Everyone will cry.It will bring a big flood on.Spoiling the rich guy's lawn.
 
The pair will whine,About the divine.30 minutes will pass.Then they'll get shot in the ass.
 
People will get eaten.They will be beaten.Then look, a safe place.They will take it to outer space.
 
Yippeee you will say,At the end of the day.Spin off number 3 is here.CBSpinoff has no fear.
Sorry for spoiling the end. I know it is such a rotten trend. But the cat just could not wait to share the above's fate. You can send hate mail in mass. It does not bother my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Funny Money!

The cat was traveling around the Earth and it seems people who visit my sea have some worth. Who would have guessed that? Surely not this cat. Someone must be stealing your pictures since bloggers are so cool and making new money with a handy tool. You can see below. Sorry, far far too many to give each a flow. Not that it can't be done, but you'd be here all day then under my sun.



































 

Damn, some of you really need to do something about that hair. Don't you have a barber near your lair? Need a weed whacker for some of it, more than a bit. The ninja wannabe is sure sticking to his ninja view. Are you worth this much at your zoo? Maybe when exchange rates come to pass? Sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

High Or Low Away We Go!

No matter what there is always a high and low to just about everything at ones hut. Could be this could be that, either way it will come to your mat.



Yipeee!A million copies were sold by thee.That is oh so great.Nothing could be a better fate.
Whoops, nuts at your door.Now you have to write more.It has to be another hit,Or away the same nuts will spit.
One hit wonder.Takes away your thunder.Boo to you.Is all you get at your zoo.
But hey, still have a million bucks or so.So they can go suck their toe.Or you could have another hit,And be the new it.
Now you have to travel to and fro.So much fun at your show.Damn, have to do it again,Half the year away from your den.
Always on the road.No longer in writing mode.The price of fame,And playing the autograph game.
Now you are so great,Along comes the hate.One simple word,And all call you a turd.
Have to watch everything you say,Or for it you could pay.And pay and pay and pay,Each and every day.
Build up people like,But they love when you take a hike,Bashing away,All through the day.
So take your million bucks,Go feed some ducks,Screw the rest at your zoo,Just give them a whoopdi friggin doo.
Sold only one or two at your zoo? Well at least none of the above crap comes due. That is a good thing at your sea. Still, I'd rather have the money. Then I'd just run and rhyme away under our sun. Now I will go eat some bass with my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A dVerse Lost Gets Kinda Tossed!

Today the cat has a few dVerse questions for you. I may end up confusing a few. But it has to be done because confusing people can be such fun. It also is not hard to do. At least not at my zoo.

So there is a box,
That could even have socks.
It is called lost and found.
I bet you've seen one around.

Does it live up to its name?
That is quite the claim.
I guess we shall have to see,
With a little lost and found spree.

If it has been found,
And no longer around,
Why would it be in the box,
After they got their socks?

If it was thrown away,
But stuck in the box one day,
Then it is not really lost, right?
It just adds to the box height.

What if it is never found,
Whether by person or hound?
Then it would only be lost,
The found part would be tossed.

Making it a lost box,
With no good locks.
Or a lost and lost box,
For those long lost talks.

What if the lost and found box is lost?
Like in the trash it was tossed.
Where do you put the lost lost and found?
Bury a big hole in the ground?

Maybe create a new and improved one.
Could create one that's more fun.
A take me now box.
Might work for a sly fox.

What if nothing is in lost and found?
Can lost or found even make a sound?
Would it then be just a plain box?
Am I getting some head cocks?

Has the answer been lost or found,
Too any questions oh so profound?
Do I think too much at my zoo?
I will leave that up to you.

So a little dVerse lost and found just popped in and I went with it at my bin. Any thoughts come to pass? I know, I am just a confusing little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Care To Sport Some Balls At Your Halls?

So the cat was in a sarcastic mood and decided to give a little attitude. What did he do? I guess you will have to scroll down to view.

Balls are had,
At many a pad.
Oh don't stutter,
Nothing much gutter.

Just spit and sputter,
Maybe even mutter,
As that cat will bring hate,
With this one at his gate.

Especially to those,
With fats toes.
Who outgrow their underwear,
While they sit and blare.

What was that?
Don't follow the cat?
I guess you need to hit play.
So shoot the birdie at your bay.

Or penetrate if you like.
Maybe that will get you a strike.
Nope, still not gutter.
Go ahead with balls all aflutter.


Now was that not fun? My the world is small except for one. Hit a ball over the wall at your bay? Did you and your balls sway? No, still not going gutter so no need to stutter. The cat even went for the glory having that duck word at the end of the story. Excuse me for being crass. It was just an observation from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

An Invisible Dream Stream!

So dVerse has invisibility at play there at their bay. Hmmm so the cat could go all movie/tv reference at my sea, as invisibility has been done a time or three. But instead a lyric writing mood came due the other day and dreams are invisible technically at play. So let's run with that. Every once and a while have to stretch the skill of the cat.

I dream of sitting close,
To you one faithful day.
Watching as the waves roll,
Down by our own bay

Borders lack emotion,
The universe can too.
But walls, guards or spirits,
Can't keep me from you.

I dream of grassy fields,
Blooming wild flowers.
Running free and barefoot,
Another spot that's ours.

The drums beat for us,
The realms line up too.
Different yet the same,
Making one from two.

I dream of secret beaches,
Toes buried in the sand.
Walking along for miles,
Two just hand and hand.

Wonder seems to follow,
Trust and love shine through.
Let the heavens open,
It can't keep me from you.

I dream of a life,
When you are always near.
Nothing stands between us,
As I whisper in your ear.

Our spirits never waver,
As our beat carries on.
Enjoying every day,
Wishful for another dawn.

I dream of lying side by side,
Under a weeping willow.
Breezy branches sway,
Your beating heart my pillow.

Under sunlight or starlight
Caught in the magic of a day
We will always burn bright
Step by step finding our way

I dream of something small,
Something for only two.
It's the little things that matter,
The little things from you.

Our path may be burdened,
Our lives may be too.
But just stop and listen,
To all I need is you.


There you are. A bit different at my bar. Even got mouthy-er at my sea. Sometimes things just fly in my head and need to get said. And look, a song version too at my nook. Two for one. Like the cat's skill stretching run? Tomorrow it will be a tune of a whole other class, one you would expect from my no balls little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Why Write At Your Site?

Here we are near and far. Some from there, some with an arm to spare. Yet each still write at their site. But why you may ask do they do such a task? Never fear, the cat is here. I will explain all here on my wall.

Why do you write.
All through the night?
Let's shed some light,
As writing takes flight.

Let's one be a hermit,
Why sing and dance like Kermit?
Rather sit on my ass,
Than have a hand up its mass.

Can go to worlds afar,
While drunk at the bar.
Easy as can be,
Even when you have to pee.

Can keep those tendencies at bay,
Getting violent and not have to pay.
Kill a character or two,
Maybe even nuke a zoo.

Some venting can come due,
Done a time or two.
Fun to make a rant,
At ones rhyming plant.

Learn new words,
So instead of turds,
You can call all,
Discombobulated at your hall.

Could sound smart,
Awing all at Walmart.
Wait! Just wear clothes,
And strike a regal pose.

Speaking of which,
If you get the itch,
Can do it naked as can be,
There at your sea.

Just block the webcam,
Or you could get in a jam,
If one were to hack,
And go on the nude attack.

And the best thing of all,
You can confuse and abuse at your hall.
Spinning a big long tale,
That makes it seem like you stepped on the third rail.

There you go. Now you know. Answers from the cat. How about that? Plus of course you meet many around. Much is surely found, as one writes in mass, whether happy or crass. I just enjoy staying home and passing gas out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Two Light Hearted Fools, A God And A Grammar Nazi Today At My Sea!

That is quite the title today. It could be some weird bar joke gone astray. But then at my sea everything is strange, especially with these two fools so far out on the range.

A spirit guide,
With such pride.
It can talk,
Or rather squawk.

Wow, it's a bald headed man.
A flash in the pan.
Drazin the mook,
With the first name, Duke.

That guy is everywhere.
He won't leave my lair.
Even Donkey Kong.
This is so wrong.

A Grammar Nazi too.
Good thing his library can't view.
He may get upset.
That could be a safe bet.

But at least he makes the kids happy.
Unless Grammar makes them sappy.
He even tries his hand at math.
Will the two light hearted fools escape his wrath?


So there you are. Drazin has entered another sand bar. I guess he has a thing for the spirit world. Grammar Nazi's toes may be curled. Not in a good way, if he ever sees this display. He may even get crass. But so fun for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Dinosaurs Are Back After Escaping An Alien Shack!

The cat thought what the heck, may as well add another to the deck. Two in one month you say? Bah, that is quite okay. So comes another book from me, this time on a dinosaur spree.

You see, dinosaurs were taken away.
They did not go extinct at our bay.
The aliens collected them up,
And treated them like a pup.

They put them in a zoo,
For all other aliens to view.
Even little Dino Kazoo,
And the rest of his crew.

But they escaped and came back,
Just wanting to have fun and not attack.
Hence the rebirth,
As they returned to Earth.

But the Freaky Aliens couldn't have that.
The dinos were not allowed to scat.
So they came to take them back,
Ready to go on the attack.

Who knows if they will get away,
Or if the aliens will make them pay.
I guess we shall see,
With another book hanging from my tree.












Click here to have a peer.
There we are, that adds another to our sand bar. This one has close to fifty reviews already too. Sure works for our zoo. The cat will hide though if they ever pass because they would eat my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Getting Rhetorical Today At My Bay!

Don't you love it when they ask questions to you and then don't want you to answer on cue? That is less work for you. But then along come a few that have no idea at all as they give the rhetorical questions a call. They actually want you to answer each one. They must have gave the dunce cap a run.

Does a bear crap in the woods?
Depends if it walks into hoods.
Are you kidding me?
Nope, they'll crap on your knee.

Is the sky blue?
Nope, grey today at my zoo.
Is the sun hot?
Go touch a stove pot.

Did you really just say that?
Yes, I am a mean cat.
Does the cat rhyme?
All the friggin time.

Does the government screw you over?
Faster than a leg humping rover.
Have you no shame?
Nope, Pat's to blame.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Go find one and watch you should.
Do bunnies hump?
Just watch for the bump.

Does a tattletale tattle?
Even to cattle.
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
None if the man is Peter Pan.

Do you expect me to go along with that?
Who cares, I'm a cat.
Isn't that nice?
Yep, you and your lice.

Can pigs fly?
Sure, put them on an airplane and send it into the sky.
How many times have I said that?
53, but I'm not counting at my mat.

Are you serious?
Yep, you are delirious.
Why did you get out of bed?
Same thought was going through my head.

Does a phone ring?
Not if it is on vibrate, ding a ling.
Is Santa fat?
Big enough to squash you flat.

Rhetorical many can be but some fail to see, they want an answer I guess. So I confess. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to and such responses won't come due. Otherwise such things will come to pass from my always little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.