Pat Hatt's Blog, page 205

Round Twenty Comes Due And They Still Have No Clue!

Happy saint me day! Here are some drunk nuts on display!
So the nuts are still here. They stick to my little rhyming rear. Maybe I need a scrapper of some sort? Hmm that idea could be rough so I will abort. Now without further adieu here are this session's search engine nuts for all to view.

"fickle pickles are really on my mind at the moment"

Hmm did it go down the wrong way? Or maybe come out kind of rough at your bay?

"disturbing animals at sea"

That could go many ways. Hopefully nothing to do with a loving gaze.

"Cordless kinky toys"

Wow, bet you were disappointed you found me. Sorry, this pussy cat doesn't do kinky.

"laughing butts"

A smiley faced butt? You sure are a nut.

"My ass is on fire"

Is it smiley too? If so, the above may put it out for you.

"crammed all night and day"

Did you pass? I hope it wasn't a mass.

"Do goo drops pollute?"

Eat one and try. Tell us if you die.

"GMO the devil"

 Well close I suppose as the rich pricks strike a pose.

"Fran won't clean my frying pan"

Fran is an angry lurker after all. Maybe you need to give him a cat call?

"good grils gone wild"

Wow, barbequing sounds dangerous this day in age. It must be all the rage. 

"droughts are so bad for me"

Which type are we talking about here? Wait! I don't want to know out of fear.

"Can you see what I see"

Nope, and I'm thankful for that especially if you are any of the above at my mat.

"Funky ties on zebras and their mates"

Quite the fetish you have at your sea. I guess if funky tie wearing zebras are your cup of tea, carry on. Just do it after dawn.

"Sugar is the life I need"

Death you will get soon. Go chew a spoon.

And the winner for today really must have a lot of time to play. At least they can amuse themselves I suppose. They'd also scare away any likely foes.

"My nuts dangle to the left after I'm done"
Okay!!!!!!! More than I needed to know at my bay. I am not even going to go there as who knows if dangling left syndrome can be caught at ones lair. But then since a snip snip has come to pass I am a safe little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Me, Endorse? Sure, Without Remorse!

So every once in a while the cat gets an email that goes to the delete pile. It says such and such a product is so great that I should endorse it at my gate. Wow, it must be oh so grand that they have to bug a cat to plug it at his land. But just for today, I'll give it a go at my bay.

Look a this!
It causes bliss.
It is oh so great.
How can others relate.

Here is a review,
That is oh so true.
What? It's not a plot.
The review was not bought.

33% of all reviews on the net may be.
But this review is oh so true at our sea.
Just put it with your post,
And give a link to our coast.

That is all you need to do.
Oh yeah, and endorse it too.
You can't give a bad review.
That just will not do.

If it is a bad one.
Ignore it a ton.
Don't tell one and all.
We want a great cat call.

We still want you to tell the truth,
Just the good kind at your booth.
The bad kind goes away,
Did we mention we will pay?

Yeah, pay for a great review.
Wait! That isn't true.
We will just pay you,
For a look and review.

The pay is just an incentive from us.
No need for a paid review fuss.
But there may be more if it is grand,
And you help us sell in our land.

So endorse us today.
Get your pay.
Help us sell.
Who cares if it is sucky as hell.

We just want the dough,
Thanks to your rhyming flow.
We only sent this email for help to you too.
The million others don't mean as much, it's true.

Did I just endorse such emails at me sea? Or did I just burn them down with glee? I will go with the second one. They are all robots anyway under their sun. No way hosa is what comes to pass when they bother my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Where Did It Go At My Show!

Ever lose something at your show that you look for high and low? But you know you put it down there. Then the damn human gives you an evil glare. We always get the blame for such a claim.

Where is the watch?
I never drank scotch.
It was right there,
As always at my lair.

Not down the crack.
Stolen by a boogeyman pack?
Not under the bed,
Watch as he scratches his head.

Pat can't find it.
We are blamed at our pit.
But it wasn't me.
I bet it was Cassie.

But he keeps staring at me,
Like I hid it up a tree.
I just eat the toilet paper,
Never had a watch caper.

Under this and under that.
Not there at our mat.
In a crack and in a drawer.
Nope, this is quite a chore.

At least Pat gets exercise.
The cat is oh so wise.
I mean Cassie is wise.
I was too busy chasing flies.

And then he gives up,
Like a silly pup.
Gets a new one,
And hides it which is no fun.

Then one faithful day,
We buried things deep at our bay.
So he had to dig to get it,
In other words it was umm spit.

Whalla! There it was below.
It could still glow.
Cassie buried it in the box.
What a sly fox.

What? It was not me.
I don't bury things with glee.
Pat just should have looked a little deeper.
The litter box is like the watch grim reaper.

Maybe the cat just wanted to say it died. I buried it with pride. I mean Cassie did it, it was not me that created the litter box pit. I guess Pat will just have to stay on his toes so he suffers no more such woes. At least we did not bury it in grass. I am such a thoughtful little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Quest For The Greatest Blogfest!

A blogfest here and a blogfest there, those things are really everywhere. But then they may stretch so many poor people thin. Hmm I suppose some may consider that a win. Still we just need one to rule them all. Damn, I just said that at my hall.

A blogfest for movie time,
That is always a fun chime.
One for those you miss,
Can be a bit of bliss.

Another for the season.
What is the reason?
One for something that sucks.
How about polluting ducks?

Next we have a rainbow thing.
What colors it does bring.
A music one is around too.
Even for the tone deaf at their zoo.

There is the greedy A to Z.
That takes a month from thee.
Can I say it is already done?
Last month it was under my sun.

So you get the drift,
Unless you aren't swift.
Then I feel for you.
What? I can pretend to.

We need the best,
To get rid of the rest.
One to make it easy,
It can't be cheesy.

It has to whore people out too.
Make them have a popular zoo.
That is surely a must.
Plus it can't go bust.

So what could it be?
Any suggestions from thee?
Wait! Scratch that.
Your ideas are flat.

Just rely on the cat.
I'll trim the fat.
Helping some out once more,
What I do for you at my shore.

The winner to put all to shame,
Has quite a simple name.
THE POST WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT BLOGFEST!
There we go, now you can all give it your best.

See! The cat is always helping out thee. No rules at all and makes it easy at your hall. That will sure make those others go away and leave you all having a nice day. Plus with posts you will get visited in mass. Nod and agree with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Claim With Fame?

So the other day the cat was walking about when he heard some nut shout. It is okay to do that because such and such a celebrity does it at their mat. Is that what you humans base your rules on? Sounds as great as a cement lawn.

Bill Clinton cheats on his wife,
So there should be no strife.
If a president can do it, so can you.
No divorce should come due.

A traffic ticket comes to pass.
Pfft just be like that Hilton lass.
Chuck it out the window,
Then hit the gas and off you go.

Not sure who sites for jaywalking,
Unless a cop is really gawking.
But if you get caught,
It is okay because Barbara Walters took such a trot.

Screw those handicapped people too.
Take their spot when out and about from your zoo.
Julia Roberts says it is okay.
Just go to it at your bay.

The sign says stop.
Pfft that is a flop.
Just be like Spears,
Speed passed them to cheers.

Let's be grand,
Across the land.
Steal everyones work.
Shia thinks it is a perk.

It's okay to have a steroid or two.
It can help high stats come due.
Don't you want that big bod?
It's okay, as it is done by A-Rod.

Steal some jewelry at your sea.
That is okay for thee.
It has been done by a ton.
Lohan thinks it is fun.

A dash of cocaine,
Is fine on plane or train.
Or just go to a hotel,
Like Sheen and raise hell.

Or just have a great name,
So you can murder a dame.
Stay nice and free,
Like OJ at your sea.

See, no need for jail for any law breaking fail. Just blame the nearest celebrity who gets off every time. Then you can get away with any crime. You can get a pass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Over Exaggeration At Play Here Today!

You humans are always making scenes, such drama queens. Do you ever listen to what you say? Sadly, the cat does at his bay. It is such a shame that you think you are tame.

I'd kill to have that.
Cops may be waiting at your mat.
Not something I'd say,
Near any donut shop anyway.

My foot is killing me.
Is it going on an ass kicking spree?
That must take skill,
To kick your own ass at your hill.

I hate his guts.
Poor poor mutts.
What did their guts ever do to you?
Maybe upchucked a little spew.

Those prices are sky high.
Wow, all the way to the sky?
That does impress,
I must confess.

My baby is the cutest ever.
My you are clever.
Wrinkly Oscar the Grouch,
On greatness he sure does encroach.

Never have I seen....
But you just did at your scene.
So can't say never anymore.
How's that for a brain twist at my shore?

He's on fire!
It must be dire.
Wait! He's one ice,
And being paid a hefty price.

It was a long day.
Really at your bay?
You managed to stretch it?
My, I'd like to know how to do that a bit.

That rat was fifty feet long.
Okay, that is just wrong.
Even I'd run away,
From such a scary display.

My pillow is as hard as a rock.
That is such a shock.
A rock is hard you say?
Who knew that at their bay?

Those are just some of many many many you humans blurt out as you scream and shout. I suppose you have to get your point across or others may be at a loss. Would not want to confuse in mass, instead just keep giving reasons to ridicule you to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A dVerse B At My Sea!

So why not just go all B today for the dVerse bay? Why not just go all C you say? Because B first popped in at my bay. And of course X is a pain in the ass. So B gets this dVerse pass.

By bringing booze by bus,
Billy brought blames big brusk.
Blarney's bar beat Bagnio's back.
But bus beer bleeds bright black.

Blarney's blessed Billy bad.
Blood boiled balancing Brad.
Bald Brad baked booze by banana.
Billy bobbed, blinded by Brad's bandana.

Back Billy boxed bus beer.
Bellowing by brass bandolier.
Berating Brad between breaks.
Brutally bewitching Brad's brakes.

Billy bid Brad bye bye,
Bringing back big beer buy.
Battling bumps by bus.
Billing Benny's bunch brusk.

Billy's beer bus bounced back,
Bit by bit by Benny Brack's.
Billy bobbed briskly behind,
But bagged by bail bond bind.

Billy bitched back by bomb.
Bending briars between balm.
Benny bought Billy's balk.
Believing blown building block.

Billy bagged bill by bill,
Booking boats between Brazil.
But bombs bring bacon blaring.
Billy's body bag brought bearing.

Billy blew by blazing banshees.
Bumping between busy bacon bees.
Bald Brad bitched behind Billy.
Braking between Bacon Briley.

Billy beamed by blue bay,
Brad's brakes blew between Brad's bellowing bray.
Bacon between Brad bought body bags.
Billy Brazil blogs balancing brags.

Bill by bill by Brazil's beach,
Billy banishes bleach.
Boasting Bald Brad's beanie,
Booking bodies by bikini.

There you go, are you now busy b-ing at your business show? I hope you aren't all crossed eyed and tongue tied. But then in that I would take pride. You'd be one screwed up facial mass. That would be fun to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Swim Or Sink With The Ink!

So today the cat will test your brain. I figure it was about time I did that at my lane. What? I do that every day? Pffft I just confuse at my bay. Now it is time to see what you are made off when ink comes to shove.


Hmm deranged kissing poodles?Or they had some bad noodles.Their rumps are in the air.They are quite the pair.

Batman's motorcycle I say.Or could go another way.But I will keep it PG.At least for this one at my sea.

A man split in two.That has to make him boo hoo. Could be a woman too.But wouldn't there be more in view?


A ballerina with her mate.They are on a dancing date.Looks like a glob.I guess she likes a slob.

An evil baby coming out.An upside down fart shout?Maybe just smudges on the wall.Maybe some weird cat call.

Demons fighting over a bird cage.That bird has to be all the rage.They even have a monkey on their back.The bird may not survive the attack.

Umm dots on the floor.A bear out to explore.Ripped paper it could be,There just to confuse me.

Robin's motorcycle at play.Or scooter on display.The poor boy wonder,Must be like lightning to Batman;s thunder.

A scary insect I must eat.They are quite the treat.Or some horror feature.Just look at that creature.
 Didn't we do this one?It's a bush with a tush having fun.It has cupcakes for feet.Must be a tough one to defeat.
So what did you see? Any that were really dirty to thee? The cat remained tame. So I am not to blame. It was your dirty mind that went crass. But so fun to see for my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Kinda Squawk With Body Talk!

So the cat was out and about getting poked, which has my vote, when there was a conversation in the background that was of high sound. You could swear Flappy was doing the yapping as they were sure flapping.

Body Talk is the best thing ever.
The two sounded so clever.
But lets see how that will go.
On with the show.

Hello Body, how are you?
I am alright but wishing I was new.
Can't you fix stuff?
Have you seen yourself in the buff?

Was that a dig?
Be nice or I'll make you wear a wig.
That would just be rude.
Then don't give me attitude.

Why do you have to crack?
Would you like a heart attack?
I would give you a big smack.
But then I'd make you need an ice pack.

Can't you leave my back be?
Why? It is kind of funny.
Don't you like the water in my cup?
Can't you tell I love it from each hiccup?

Body, you are a vindictive bitch.
Quiet or I will make you itch.
Is that something like a twitch?
You'll see when I send you to the ditch.

When cold why do you shiver?
Because I want to clean the liver.
But that isn't so bad.
It's my party pad.

Alright, I don't want to chat.
Stop and I'll make you fat.
You are one mean chatter.
Do you want to be a rising batter?

That is not a nice threat.
Is it a threat on which you'll bet?
Not today anyway.
Good, now go play.

Why would I want to play?
You haven't exercised today.
So you're telling me to get off my ass?
Yes, or I'll give you a wide mass.

Hmmm I can't say talking to my body was the best thing ever. Those two are not very clever. I will let them squawk about body talk. Now I will make sure I don't have extra mass to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Invader Alert, Blood May Squirt!

The cat was relaxing at our bay under a sunny ray and then I awoke to some thin bloke. This guy was really weird indeed. I ran away at super speed. But he did not move at all. So we decided to rid him from our hall.


 I awoke from sleep,And up I had to leap.This black eyed freak,Was sitting there so sleek.

Cassie even gave it a try,She was mad she couldn't give him a black eye.He already had two.His smell was also eww.

 I found him to have holes.Maybe he sat on hot coals?I could see all the way through.He was snip snipped too.

Cassie tried the other side,Could still see far and wide.The dude couldn't even talk,Of course without any voice box, that isn't a shock.

I tried to find an ear,To see if he could hear.But there wasn't even an ear spot.It was time he hurt, a lot.

 We both decided the best course of attack.We would rid this thing from our shack.The invader would go back to space,Or at least the closet without a trace.

Kitty ninja was my way,To cause the thing dismay.Take that ninja wannbe,Shown up by a kitty.

 Cassie just bit his head.That seemed to cause him dread.He ran away at top speed.We had done the deed.

 All in a day's work.We beat the jerk.Time for a snooze.We can't lose.

She can have the couch,As she is quite the grouch.I'll just take the bed.So if an invader comes, bite them on the head.
There you go, now you know how to get rid of invaders at your show. Just do kitty ninja and bite them high, not low. You could kick them down there if they are not snip snipped at their lair. Now I need to join Cass and rest my kitty ninja little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.