Pat Hatt's Blog, page 210

One Side Or Two As The Coin Flew!

So dVerse wants the cat to look at both sides of the coin. First I may need a coin to join. Oh look, there is a face and a bird on it at our nook. Okay, I looked at the thing. Now what at my wing?

Limbs hurt,
Back aches.
                 Body alert,
                 No breaks.

Tad crazy,
Thinks much.
                   Never lazy,
                   Surpasses clutch.

Hate work,
Hate commute.
                    Paycheck perk,
                    Own a suit.

Trust gone,
Thoughts linger.
                     Avoid a con,
                     Jerry Springer.

Lunch sucks,
Stale food.
                 Feed ducks,
                 Diet renewed.

Tire flat,
Cell dead.
              Avoided splat,
              No irradiated head.

Snow ahead,
Super cold.
               Warm bed,
               Lovers hold.

Book delayed,
Movie stopped.
                Anticipation laid,
                Remake flopped.

Internet down,
Computer dead.
                     Visit town,
                     Hear what's said.

Money spent,
Wallet bare.
               Paid rent,
               Junk free lair.

And there we are the opposite side of the coin at my bar. What? Expected me to be mouthy today? I will let you fill in the blanks at your bay. That is the opposite at my sea. See, I can even cause more work for thee. Now my coin flipping has come to pass so I will wiggle off, shaking the opposite side of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Another Conversation Mode That Gives A Load!

So the cat thought it would be fun to once again listen in on everyone. At least as he passed by each day. Then he wrote down the words at his bay. Funny what you hear is you walk by. Someone will surely make you raise an eye.

I have English papers.
What? No French capers?
Did you take your...
That is all I heard of the roar.

Anyone care to guess?
Could be something that leaves him or her in a mess.
Much like the eww eee ahh.
That does make the cat go, bah.

Civilians are not allowed to..
I bet he was going to say use the loo.
I hope you don't get claustrophobic here.
Maybe they gave the closet a cheer?

That is such a pretty ring.
Showing off their bling.
You can't do that to me.
Just did, I suspect, to thee.

Do you know what that asshole did?
I guess they made you flip your lid.
I am so sorry I stepped on your toe.
I bet you are at your show.

I wish they would fall off the roof.
I will avoid you so I don't go poof.
I hate all this pigeon poop.
They are quite the pooping troop.

Do you think it will fit through the door?
I hope it is a door and not a person at your shore.
The killer was some close.
That movie is not about Mickey Mouse.

Are you ready for this?
Do I have to hear more bliss?
Here Kitty Kitty Kitty.
No way, you old bitty.

Maybe we should go to moms?
I bet she will even wipe your bums.
Why won't this stupid bleeping bleep of a bleep work.
To you swearing is really a perk.

It is too hot. You're hot!
Think they are going to do the robot?
I can't imagine why this thing would do that.
It does go up, kinda tit for tat.

Oh where the mind goes as the conversation blows. I just heard it as I walked by. The cat is not a nosy guy. But I will use it at my grass. So don't get overheard by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

No Need To Gripe As I'll Show You Each Type!

Throughout blogland there are many that come to play in your sand. Although some are rather rude, some are a cool dude, some give attitude and some may be a prude. But I'll show each type so you can avoid the hype.

There is the blog lurker.
Even if your post is a tear jerker,
They will not speak.
They lurk and seek.

The blog hyena on the other hand,
Says plenty in your land.
LMAO and LOL on every post,
Makes them deserve burnt toast.

The popularity blogger is great,
To them no one can relate.
They have 999,999,999 friends,
But only get one whole comment from some adult in Depends.

The blog collector,
They sure are not a neglector.
They follow everyone and everything,
Yet never post at their wing.

The hard up blogger.
Who is a comment hogger,
Posting here, there and everywhere,
About Viagra or some other thing at each lair.

The almost non blogger too,
Always has something to chew.
Each and every day,
They post about how they have nothing to say.

The do nothing blogger,
Except maybe play Frogger.
Yet expects the hits,
Even if they are the pits.

The money blogger is on the scene,
With widgets up the wazoo on their screen.
Click, click, click!
They want a new gold brick.

The pain in the ass blogger,
Who is a time clogger.
Captcha this and captcha that,
Making one want to crush them flat.

The eyesight killing blogger is last.
Your eyesight will become a thing of the past.
Big paragraphs with teeny tiny writing,
Plus white on black lighting.

And there we go, in those categories I know you do not show. Unless you are R or some other spammer at my bar. Then there may be no hope for you in this blogland zoo. So there is each blogger class, helping out all with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Little Quote To Take Note!

You see them here and there at many a lair. They are all inspirational and such. The below ones, maybe not too much. But the cat had to use, who knows, may spark some dull fuse.

 
Bad thing to do,There at your zoo.Could agree to fly a kite,Or pretend to be a termite.
 
Damn, things went down hill.No wonder the place is in the landfill.I guess one to many loved that hit,Take this job and shove it.
 
Isn't that always the way?You sit and stare at the display.What can you do?Internet is needed at your zoo.
 
This one is true.They blabber about you.But why care?Let them waste their time at their lair.
 
The cat likes to be in the gutter.So some sure may stutter,If they think like me.Of course I can convert thee.
 
Umm run?Hit them with a hot crossed bun?Maybe a pot and pan?Don't trip over the trash can.
 
Someone is stalking me.For that is true at our sea.Online all the time.Have to make a daily rhyme.
 
Spread the love,With a boxing glove.Sounds like fun.Run when done.

Sounds good to me.For my gutter spree.Let's me keep pace,With a smile on my face.
 
See! All better now.No need to go meow.Just let your old toys,Find new joys.
Advice for all comes in all sizes at my hall. The cat just thought he would help you out with a little quote shout. Now you can live for today and let your gutter mind play. I even just let the quotes give the sass. So fun to do for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Light Hearted Fools On The Loose With Worms In Their Caboose?

So back we are with two light hearted nuts at the cat's bar. They had to go out for supplies and then of course the crazies swarm like flies. Who is it this time? Can't you tell by the title chime?

Out for a stroll,
Protection the goal.
Before on their way,
Across the bay.

Along comes a freak.
A second takes a peek.
Becoming quite crazy,
At least they aren't lazy.

They spy the fake representation of the rhyming cat.
Then they really almost scat.
As in crap themselves.
You'd think they saw dancing elves.

But nope, just a fake feline.
I guess it was a bad sign.
Oh no, it could have worms.
They set their terms.

Kill all that get in their way,
From making it a worm free display,
All across the Earth.
I wonder if Terry and Manzantia were twins lost at birth?



So there we are. Worm freaks are now worm food at my sand bar. I guess we went all Lion King in a way with the circle of life on display. And the two nuts continue to sail. They are better off getting their protection through the mail. Another adventure has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Time For A Name To Play A dVerse Game!

So a long time ago, at least when this post will show, dVerse went all Googlism at their sea. It had to be done by me. Now lets see what comes due when I go all Googlism at my zoo.

Orlin is a bit dull to watch.
How rude, want a kick to the crotch?
Orlin is married to scott's sister.
Damn, never play drunk Twister.

Orlin is a frequent visitor of Taiwan and a well.
If Lassie saves me, all has gone to hell.
Orlin is an eleven.
Do I take you to heaven?

Orlin is behind.
Gas of some kind?
Orlin is wrong.
What a ding dong.

Orlin is in charge.
Of all at this barge.
Orlin is a former professor of international finance.
Tell me, do you figure that upon your first glance?

Orlin is a rebel with many causes.
And be damned with the clauses.
Orlin is very good at titles.
I bet I could also take your vitals.

Orlin is another of this race of alien creatures.
Are you wearing your tin foil hat beneath the bleachers?
Orlin is 6 and well behaved.
Wow, bad info, who caved?

Orlin is a good example.
Even when your feet I trample?
Orlin is being considered for a national television show.
Yippppeee, that means I get lots of dough.

Orlin is very young for an elf.
Do you need to go back on the crazy shelf?
Orlin is playing quite a dangerous game here.
Bah, old one eye is nothing to fear.

Orlin is musing on her latest performance piece.
I know I'm snip snip but I'm not like goose to geese.
Orlin is quite right to insist that such an argument would be difficult to make.
And a long time to get your point made you take.

Orlin is a legend in bulgaria.
Damn, and I never even visited the area.
Orlin is holding me here after a big Easter dinner.
You gave me nasty food and are a sinner.

So there we are. The cat is Googlism-ed near and far. Who knew all the stuff I can do? Or did at my zoo. I guess I am just a world renowned cat. Now my ego is getting fat. So I will sail off with my mass and my forever Googlism-ed little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Round Eighteen Comes Due With The Crazy Crew!

Back once more to the crazies that visit my shore. Round and round they come as some talk out their bum. That you shall see as they buzz around like a crazy bee.

"realpeoplerealsex"

Wow, you were in a rush. Did not even use a space, go ahead, mush.

"once upon a time in a far far away rhyme"
A cat started to pass gas and you fell on your ass.
"dick wrapping paper"
Dick York on your paper? Or is it Cheney in some caper.
"crazy bum laughing"
A full moon can laugh you say? Wow, news to me at my bay.
"piles of cash"
Wrong place for such an embrace.
"hairy man boobies"
A fetish I do not want to know about. Never stick your hairy man boobies out.
"oh damn what have i done"
You blinded all by showing your hairy man boobies at my hall.
"i go up and never come down no matter how hard you wish.as i get higher,more wrinkles crawl onto your face.."
Wow, you typed all of that and even some dots. You must enjoy talking to search engines lots.
"she could really go for some dick"
Wow, today is all about Dick. Cheney must be beating all away with a stick.
"nicolas cage rhyme peom"

You can't spell,
That I can tell.
But even with that hair,
You should be aware,
Your movies now suck.
At least the tax man is in luck.

"tides can't carry water or things will turn upside down and.."

And what? You sound like you are in a rut. What do tides carry? Is water that scary?

"Triple play, i scored in her and found a nipple."

Errr ummm errr okay. Have a nice nipple-y day.

And the winner for this round comes from the creepy pound. Looking for poor Pat or they just can't spell hat. I don't want to know what they were looking for when they decided to explore.

"www faking hatt sexy movi dat cam"
I wonder if one will get a thrill or just feel ill if they type that in. I would rather not know at my bin. But if you care to look, go right ahead at your nook. Might be a weirdo rolling naked in the grass, that would just be scary to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Have You Ever To Prove You Are Clever?

So the cat watched the other day as some human did a simple thing at their bay. One that seemed dumb to me as I knew what it did at my sea. But still they did not know, so let's see who else gives them a go.

Have you ever,
To be clever,
Done a little thing,
Like this at your wing.

Walked into a room,
But oh the doom,
You forgot want you wanted,
Walked out, then it taunted?

Tried to prove you were a pro,
Neither high nor low,
Instead you got a middle itch,
Trying to balance between on/off with a light switch?

Open the fridge to get what you want,
Then close like it is a strange haunt,
Only to find out when the light went dark,
So you could know at what mark?

Walk on the street,
To your own beat,
Avoiding a crack,
Afraid to break your mother's back?

In a rush,
You really have to mush,
But instead you hit them all,
Buttons all glow as in the elevator you slowly fall?

Open the door,
But it won't let you explore,
You give it a good knock,
Only to find you forgot to turn the lock?

The day is clear,
The birds you hear,
That thing has to go,
So you chuck it out, rather at, a closed window?

You have to run,
Get out in the sun,
To scurry with the ants,
Oops, you forgot your pants?

I bet all have done one,
Of these the cat has given a run.
Hopefully not the last,
At least not in front of a cast.

So how many have you done? Each and every one? If so I'd avoid you. A danger to all at your zoo. The cat has seen Pat do one or two or maybe three. But he does swing from the crazy tree. But none of this mass has ever been done by my four legged little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thoughts Of The Day At My Bay!

The cat thought it would be interesting today to jot down random thoughts of Pat as he went about his day. Could be scary I suppose with what flows. But we will keep those away as they should not see the light of day.

Use a blinker jackwipe.
Guess he had a gripe.
He did not even swear.
Guess I just do that at my lair.

Yeah, I'd like to whack you with that book.
Hmmm must have been at the work nook.
A lot can come out there.
Such thoughts are not rare.

If I have to hear the weather report once more, I'm going to throw a stapler at your head.
Wow, Pat can get really get wordy and maybe needs to go back to bed.
How many times are you going to say that?
It was only said once by the cat.

I wonder what she is doing today?
Talking about the weather one on display?
Yeah, hypocritical ass.
Nope, not the only one that gives sass.

No, the sun isn't shining, it's raining.
All these people talking about the weather must be draining.
Just stick that big nose in the air.
Bet they thought they had flair.

That would make a good blog post.
What? Burnt toast?
I hate these parking spaces.
Do they make faces?

Payback is going to be fun.
I wonder on who under our sun?
Wow, she's stuck right out there.
She was in a car, so you are aware.

What a lazy ass.
That could apply to many a class.
Why can't they ever get the a/c to work right?
Always one extreme to the other on site.

Don't think that, it can't be typed.
And it shouldn't be hyped.
Raised the price again, greedy bitches.
Maybe it was pricing glitches?

Take your recovery drink and shove it.
It does taste like umm spit.
Two posts down, eight to go for today.
Yep, write ten in one day at our bay.

So there you go plenty of semi-tame thoughts all aglow. The cat had to keep this pg so he avoided some at our sea. I too have thoughts that come to pass like how can I get those birds outside with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

With Each Claim I Take No Blame!

You know Pat blames me for a lot of things as I run about our wings. That makes it sound like we have a big place. Nope, averaged size apartment we embrace. But anyway he keeps blaming me and we can't take the fifth at our Canadian sea.

Look at all the litter on the floor.
It goes right out to the door.
Don't go looking at me.
I blame that one on Cassie.

There was a huge bang,
And maybe a bit of a clang.
You found glass on the floor?
It was a magic elf wanting to explore.

You almost stepped in goo?
Are you telling me a hairball came due?
Those birds just spit them through the window.
I think you would call those kind a crow.

That cord is chewed a bit?
I did not do it.
It was that shadow on the wall.
Did you not see it running down the hall?

There is water all over the floor?
My, fish sure like to explore.
They have to take water with them you know.
Or else they would dry up and shrivel like a zombie toe.

There are holes in the shower curtain?
I told you that you should not be flirtin.
That is not good for you,
For things may turn blue.

The mat is upside down?
Why are you looking at me with a frown?
It just wants to get the dirt off of it.
So it twirled around a bit.

The curtain rod looks a little bent?
That was some guy trying to pitch a tent.
He snuck in when you were at work.
He had a real evil smirk.

You hear meows in the night?
Boy, that must be a fright.
I bet it is those neighbors next door.
They sure like to umm explore.

There is cat hair on the couch?
Okay, just so you will not be a grouch.
I will admit to that.
But what do you expect from a cat?

Geez, Pat blames me for everything around here. I bet he would even blame me if someone scratched his ear. He really just has no class, always trying to blame my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.