Pat Hatt's Blog, page 213

Never Knew That, It's Island Of The Cat!

Did you know that there was a real island where cats rule? I guess the poor dog does drool. There they have a nice rule that is fine by this fool. No mutts allowed. I guess butt sniffers aren't welcome in the kitty crowd.






In Tashirojima, Japan,
It seems all are a cat fan.
There cats run free,
Mating with glee.

They outnumber humans ten to one.
Not even one snip snip is done.
I guess they believe cats are good luck.
Those vet bills must be more than a buck.

But the residents pay,
When the cats are in dismay.
I guess Betsy isn't the only one,
Who is outnumbered under her sun.

Those whole island is theirs,
Island full of purrs.
I hear they also get much fish.
That has to be a tasty dish.

Even cat houses for those,
Who wish to go and strike a pose.
You could visit and get many fleas.
I bet they would sure bite your knees.

Could make a killing though,
Selling something thrilling at your show.
No, not that no mutts allowed.
Although that could draw a crowd.

You could sell one and all,
On going to this great hall.
Pussy Island is the place to be.
I bet many who travel across the sea.

They may not like it when there.
Unless they are tired of sheep at their lair.
Yeah, I went there.
Don't give me a glare.

You could fool many I bet,
As a pussy cat they aren't looking to pet.
Could get you tons of dough.
Make sure they can't find you though.

Although the cats may not like it.
They may be scared of their fit.
So best to just sit and stare,
As all on Pussy Island don't have a care.

Oh the cat jut had to do it. There all the cats sit. Not sure i would like that many at my sea. They'd be hanging from every tree. The cat hates that other place. Only one other one allowed in my space. So yeah I'll let you go and give them bass as I stay home with mylittle rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Check Your Mail As They Come In Like Hail!

Every year I make fun of this day, but I really do like boxes at our bay. I hop in and out and run about. They are fun to scratch. I will take them by the batch. Anyway, away we go with another boxing day show.

Got your wish,
Filled your dish.
Why not have two?
We aren't through.

Spend more,
It's an encore.
Buy today,
Use layaway.

Can't you feel,
Our great deal?
Yep, that's us.
Hop a bus.

Get here fast,
This won't last.
Add even more,
At your shore.

Why settle?
Buy this kettle.
Buy this crap,
Made at Gap.

Just do it.
Is a hit.
Will help you run,
To get things done.

These deals will fade,
We only want to aid.
So act fast.
Don't walk past.

Don't relax.
We forgo the tax.
Don't rest.
This deal is best.

You can get another job,
So just turn the knob,
And spend here today,
Before this deal goes away.

You will even comply,
Proving the day no lie.
Over those $2 socks,
You and another will box.

Pffft is all the cat can say. The deal will come another day. Can just relax and ignore the falling for something that they make out to be lore. This deal is such a myth they state, trying to make it fate. I'd rather stuff them in a crate and mail them off at a flat rate. There is my boxing day sass from my ever so box loving little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Merry Christmas To All With A Little Cat Call!

So did Santa find you all, leaving plenty of fun at your hall? If you got coal at least next year you have a goal. Plus you can heave it at someone you don't like, just be sure to throw a strike.


 We waited to see,What he'd put under our tree.Cassie took the wall,I stood even more tall.
 
See, watching in the snow.With my furry thing in tow.He would no get by me.I wanted more than a flea.
 
Cassie got tired of the wall,So she had a ball.Hiding in the tree,Ready to pounce on his knee.
 
I took the wall.We spied him at our hall.We leaped out and ripped his bag,Leaving lots of cool swag.
 
See, we got movies galore,Here at our shore.Wait! What? Cut!
 
This is my style.A tp pile.Hey, it's white.To all a good night.

Hope all have a great day at their bay. I will go chew a tree branch or two now. Maybe even knock it over some how. I bet they would say more than wow as I sit and meow. So another Christmas has come to pass, hope it was enjoyed in mass and you don't get too much gas like my ever so merry little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Another dVerse Night Before Santa Takes Flight!

It seems at dVerse Santa really gets perverse. He is back once more for another scary encore. Brian and Claudia need to get a guard to chase him from their yard.

It was a clear night,
Santa in mid flight.
He needed a drink,
So gave a quick wink.

Down to dVerse he fell.
Ready to raise some hell.
A twinkle in his eye,
He looked kinda high.

A skip to his walk,
Made many talk.
The fat on his belly,
Rolled like jelly.

He gave Claudia a wink
Demanding a stiff drink.
Things soon went wrong,
They had nothing strong.

Santa knew they did,
So he made a bid.
He would entertain,
Making the booze rain.

He hopped on the bar,
Being the size of a car,
He made it crack,
While swinging his pack.

That sounded wrong.
Just sing a long,
To Santa's beat,
He's got quick feet.

Stripping for all,
At the dVerse hall.
Brian sure gawked,
Wishing the door was locked.

Instead he got this,
Little bit of bliss.
A sight you can't miss,
Made me give a hiss.

Brian caved,
As all raved.
Handed Santa a glass,
Reaching around his ass.

He sucked it back,
With a clackity clack.
Gave one more cheer,
Bearing his rear.

His pants went zip,
Back to his trip.
Naughty or nice,
We all paid the price.

Remind me to avoid dVerse from now on when the holidays dawn. Santa always gets dirty there. Claudia did not seem to care. I guess she liked the thrill. Brian looked kind of ill. Hard not to with that mass. Merry Christmas eve from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

A Holy Night With Two Light Hearted Fools In Sight!

So back we are as the two light hearted fools, who never get very far, are back and under attack. By who you ask? I think evil Santa is up for the task. He is rather chipper and looks like a stripper.

Evil Santa on display,
Sends them back across the bay.
There they find one and all,
Who they defeated and had a ball.

Grumpy Goo,
Is in view.
Numb tongue and the Gawker too.
A certain redneck comes due.

Along with the halloween nut,
And boney her loyal mutt.
Some Irish lass is there,
Along with some one eyed old mare.

Even the ninja wannabe,
And a fake representation of me.
All thanks to the Truedessa loon,
And her fetish with the moon.

So have fun,
Giving it a run.
With many in view.
Next one could be you.



So how was that? In the holiday spirit now at your mat? The ninja wannabe didn't play that bad that time. I guess he can make a half decent chime. Now that the crazies are out in mass, I will go hide my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

The Same Is Oh So Lame!

Did you ever get stuck watching TV at a place where commercials still run free? It is oh so interesting as can be. I mean they have such originality. Each and every brand. Go oh so original across the land.



Look at me!Go on a buying spree.I am yummy.Good for your tummy.

Look at me!I will give you glee.Finger lickin' good.Buy me you should.

Look at me!I taste better than a tree.I am low in fat.How about that?

Look at me!I'll set you free.Just whip out your dough,And I'll fill you head to toe.

Look at me!Don't I make you go weeeee?I'm good for any time of the day.Take me home to your bay.

Look at me!I'll even feed a flea.I'm just that good.Buy me you should.

Look at me!You looked, yipeee!Now come on down.I won't make you frown.

Look at me!Why not buy three?One for each meal.You'll get a sweet deal.

Look at me!I sure beat tea.I'm so healthy too.I don't lie, it's true.

Look at me!What do you see?Your meal for the week.It is okay to peek.
Wow, now if that is not originality I don't know what is. Don't you just love the same old same old commercial biz? With nice shiny "healthy" food on display. doesn't that just make you want to run out and pay? Pffft ten times and I still say I'd rather eat grass with my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Caroling Is Not Divine To The Feline!

The stinking carolers are heard all around. I hate their screechy sound. Caroling or doing some party thing, both annoy the cat at his wing. I need new signs to stave off their whines.

 
The nuts of those not snip snip,May take a flying trip.Wouldn't want them seen,By a squirrel at my scene.
 
Jurassic Park,Left its mark.So they will run,Getting eaten on the loo is no fun.
 
They may not like to hear no,So away they will go.Straight home,And won't roam.
 
See, I'm fine with some at my sea.Not all of them have to flee.I can get ear plugs for some,Unless they also have a huge bum.
 
Make them think,At my rink.Then I'll chuck my own,Here at the tone.
 
A mutt has a use.Beats a noose.Shoot them in the bum,Then their voice will go numb.
 
How dare they try and use my box.I'll have to get double locks.Or just make them think once more.Should keep them away from my door.
 
They will hurl,Run away in a whirl.Scream like a little girl.I'll laugh and twirl.
 
Unless they are in a nudist convention,They'd run at first mention.Then again they could be proud,And want to stand out from the crowd.
 
Had to return,For another turn.It might make them read,Stopping the whiny singing deed.
So think any of those will work to scare away the singing off key nuts with a smirk? If not I could always hit them with the sharp edge or push them off the balcony ledge. The cat is so crass, but it does not bother my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

It Is Your Fate To Really Decorate!

So are your decorations still off making your guests scoff? I suppose that is good if you want to scare them away. But if that is not the case at your bay, the cat will help you out. Before you lose all you decorating clout.


See you don't want this.It brings no bliss.Even if easy to do,And cheap too.

 You want to make all smile,And not think you're vile.So smile with a smile,And turn up the brightness dial.
 
Tell all,You are firsky at your hall.Hey, it might work.Could turn out to be a perk.
 
You can say you have a band,That would really be grand.Sing and give out tacos.Some may curl their nose.

 
And spread the cheer,To all that are near.As many can agree,At their work sea.
 
Say you have an open loo.All can come to your zoo,And take a giant pee.Warning! If you see yellow snow, flee. 
 
Announce you have a zoo.Betsy could do this with her crew.Cats by the ton.Could be fun.
 
Welcome all nerds.They would come in herds.You'd look smart,With so many at your cart.
 
Or just go all out.Announcing you have clout.Enough dough to pay the energy bill.Many will come to your hill.
 
But if this light shines in your head,Just know you'll have a new bed.In a nice jail cell,For quite the spell.
There you go, now you can really glow. You could put on quite the show and have them lined up in a row. How about that? No need to thank the cat. Just helping all in mass with my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

A Christmas Bonus Today At My Bay!

It is bonus time with today's rhyme. Should you guess what is to come you will be given a bonus by my little rhyming bum. What is that? Hmm I am a dirty cat. So to confess you might not want to guess. But to each who do, you will eventually be here in view.

This time of year,
Many give a cheer.
They are a lucky duck,
And get an extra buck.

Others kiss the boss's butt,
And get a fancy donut.
Wow, what a bonus to come due.
Okay, I will get on with it at my zoo.

Bonus time,
In my rhyme.
Might get a fiddle,
Or watch a mutt piddle.

I guess we shall see,
What will come from me.
If you are to guess,
And are willing to confess.

Don't be afraid,
Just hide in the shade.
You might get bull shit,
So is it worth it?

I guess you'll have to ask,
The guy with the flask.
He won last year.
What? I never gave such a cheer?

Oh dear!
I cheated I fear.
Just gave it to that guy,
And he didn't even try.

That is too much to bear.
I gave him something so rare.
And he won with ease.
Wait! It was only Febreeze.

So I guess I'm off the hook.
Don't give me that look.
I'll make you eat crow,
Or just bite your toe.

Maybe you'll win a dead mouse,
Or bird at your house?
Would that not be grand?
Beats what is in my litterbox sand.

The answer at my gate is eight. Oops did I just give it away? Nope, eight what at my bay? Are you confused? I'm so amused. Let's see if any have a chance. Don't cheat and give the comments a glance. Or you will be shown with zombie feet in mass by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Don't Care Even If Aware!

Would it not be grand to once more not care across the land? Pretty much like a child as they run wild. Sure they know, give a cry and then off they go. Doesn't weigh heavy on them at all at their hall.

House burns down.
Give a frown.
Build a fort,
Of some sort.

Got no money.
Still it's sunny.
Play in the mud.
Jump in with a thud.

Dumb drivers about.
No need to shout.
Just make a funny face,
As passed them you race.

Life goes in the crapper.
Become a clapper.
Sing a song.
That stays in your head too long.

Some disease.
Still they sneeze.
But who cares.
Germs go everywhere.

Got no clothes.
Doesn't cause woes.
Around they run,
Even out in the sun.

Weather sucks.
Can't feed the ducks.
Let the music blare,
No need to go anywhere.

Stumble and fall.
Give a crying call.
Then get back up and run.
Can't stop fun.

People are found.
Take a look around.
Trust them all.
Except the one giving a cat call.

Even a hound.
That eats a brown mound.
Give it an embrace,
Letting it lick a face.

Shoving thought and the bad stuff aside to have a fun ride. Sure the way to be, if it wasn't for needing to eat at ones sea. The only perk of work. Still be fun to just let things so easily pass. But then being crazy gives that sorta to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.