Pat Hatt's Blog, page 120

Condo Or House? Rat Or Mouse?

The cat was having fun and arguing under our sun. Arguing with myself mostly. Hey, at least it was nothing ghostly. That would just scare. I don't need any ghosts at my lair.

Condo or House?
Rat or Mouse?
Mary Kirkland would pick both.
One just has more growth.

Solved the second one.
Wow, that was a fast run.
Now on to number one.
Which is more fun?

A house is fine.
Bigger and divine.
Bigger bills though.
And property taxes show.

More needed to fill.
Giving you another bill.
It can break and need fixing.
More money your bank account is nixing.

Have a lawn to mow.
Have to shovel crummy snow.
Upkeep by the ton.
But then you don't have to deal with everyone.

Condo you are off the ground.
No property taxes are found.
But condo fees pile up.
And you fill another's cup.

Still have to pay bills.
So have to open the tills.
Or rather the wallet.
Whatever you want to call it.

But can do nothing at all.
Just pay up at your hall.
No work to do.
Except when the condo association screws you.

The roof is busted.
It has rusted.
Everyone will pay for it.
We aren't paying that shit.

Apartment is easier to get out of.
Can move as simple as slapping on a glove.
House you have more room.
Condo you kinda own it and have no yard work doom.

Which is the best do you think? All depends where you are in life at your rink? Suppose what you want too. Condos seem like such a rip off at ones zoo. I think I'd take an apartment over those. Can leave an apartment no matter if it is busted or smells like a rose. Condo you still have to sell. A house can cost a ton for that door bell. Then I could go eat some green grass. I guess I never cleared much up with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Never Should In Childhood!

Pat scolds the cat for doing this and that where we are at, but it turns out he was dumber than me. Hey, he still may be. Want the cat to prove it? Easy as can be with this rhyming bit.

Kids do much,
Kids will touch.
More than that and this,
Thinking all is bliss.

Pat sure did.
Now his ocd my flip its lid.
But still got it in,
With the childhood spin.

Touched an electric fence,
Yep he was dense,
To see how much it hurt.
No blood did spurt.

Did it multiple times too.
Why? Beats me at my zoo.
Had an electric fence in the yard,
So it wasn't very hard.

Playing in quick sand.
Yep, thought it was grand.
Stand and see how far one could sink.
Now that would bring me to the brink.

There was a tree branch overhead though.
Grabbed it and out he'd go.
Hey, it was always a bet who would get out first.
Yeah now, his ocd would burst.

Crawled under a cow.
Would never do that now.
Could get kicked in the head.
So surprised Pat isn't dead.

Stuffed his brother in the dryer,
If only he could have reached higher.
He would have went for a spin.
Hmm, may have done him in.

Fought with barbed wire too.
The barbed wire won at his zoo.
Has a third eye on his leg after that.
The scar looks like it where it is at.

Sat on a hot wood stove as well.
It could get hot as hell.
Wanted to see how long he could last.
Burnt his ass once as he didn't move too fast.

Do anything dumb in childhood at your sea? Pat sure can't scold me. The cat may try to eat tacks and string, but no quicksand jumping or some other thing. I enjoy ratting on him in mass. It works for my tattle tale little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Don't Play Dumb, Share Your Blog's Income!

The cat saw this on a list the other day. Things one should tell at their bay. Yep, Blog Income was on such a list. Wait? Is there something I missed?

Blog income for all.
How much at your hall?
Come and tell me the income.
Can it buy some chewing gum?

The cat finds that icky.
It can get rather sticky.
Like a spring fling?
Hmm, could make an income spring.

Sell yourself.
Or a magic elf.
Santa may get merry.
Okay, this is scary.

No income from that.
Maybe sell the fur of the cat?
I could help bald people out.
Then George won't shout.

That go over one's head?
With hair might catch what is said.
Can hair catch words?
Bah, tell it to the birds.

Another bust.
Bald people you can't trust.
They shine you in the eyes,
Making you think they are wise.

What was that?
Income we're we are at?
Will I be your hero,
If I said a big fat zero?

I fat shamed zero today.
Do you think it will sue my bay?
It isn't a number anyway.
Or so some say.

Blog = income?
Wow, and then some.
My rhymes can make a buck?
Yeah, if I back up the truck.

Look at the ads everywhere.
Stop, sit and stare.
Click on each one too.
Whoopsy, no ads in view.

Do you make blog income at your sea? Ready to listen to such a nut and tell how much to me? Pfft who says that? Maybe if you have zero, zip, nadda, zilch like the cat. Then who really cares. Hey, at least I got my TMI shares. I can still pull them out of the grass. There is plenty to share about my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Best Yet You Can Bet!

The cat has the best post ever ready to go. What? You don't believe me at my show? Hey, everybody else says it. Like those companies that have an endless money pit.

The best iPhone yet.
It is a safe bet.
Come and upgrade now.
Until the next one will wow.

It's our best season.
It's the best for a reason.
Why upped the ante this year.
It has so much more fear.

It's the best sequel ever.
My we are so clever.
Police Academy 8 it is.
Don't you love show biz?

It's the best remake.
Hmm, I give a head shake.
Remake and best?
Yeah, those two words don't pass any test.

The best operating system yet.
Ugg says this pet.
Are we there yet?
Has the best been met?

The best car ever.
We added a new lever.
Damn, so impressive to me.
Can I pull the lever and get rid of thee?

The best book.
Yep, give it a look.
Written by washed up celebrity A.
Have a nice day.

The best restaurant anywhere.
Come and drool and stare.
Can you do all three?
Be the best like me.

The best....who cares.
Like splitting hairs.
Or is that heirs at my sea?
Beats the heck out of me.

The best iPhone yet.
It is a safe bet.
Come and upgrade now.
This one will really wow.

What else are they going to say? This phone, car, season, sequel, book is crap compared to the others at play? Can watch any press release or PR and it is all the same. Substitute the next upgrade or sequel or whatever's name. Poof! You got the same thing. Ever notice that familiar "best yet" ring? The cat sees all that comes to pass. You can't get by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Shoe For Me And You!

The cat doesn't wear the things. My feet don't need them as I have springs. If you stuck them on me I'd eat the laces though. Yeah, Pat has to hide any shoes at our show. Then he does wear them all day long. So I can eat them if he doesn't notice before long.

The Shoe Viewer is here.
They always like to cheer.
Not for their owns shoes,
Those are just old news.

Nope, they look at your feet.
They look like you have a treat.
The shoes are the best.
Forget the rest.

Could walk in your underwear.
They just don't care.
The shoes come first.
They have a shoe fetish thirst.

Maybe they drink out of a shoe.
That is something one could do.
It might be smelly though.
A cat can pee in them just so you know.

Nah, it wasn't me.
One did it at the other sea.
It's in that adult book.
Okay, back to it at my nook.

You could be holey.
Maybe dressed like a goalie.
Could be dressed as a clown,
Carrying a great big frown.

They don't care about it.
Not one little bit.
They want it known,
That shoes are never alone.

Look at your shoes.
They sure can't lose.
They are the best.
They pass every test.

Your shoes are dirty.
I'm not being flirty.
They are just bad.
You need some new ones at your pad.

The Shoe Viewer is near,
Run away in fear.
Take those running shoes and go.
Think they get a neck cramp from always looking low?

Every time some nut comes near Pat she always says the same thing wherever we are at. Same damn shoes too. But oh, those shoes are so blue. Pffft who cares what is on ones feet? Unless they are barefoot with zombie toes as they walk the street. Are you a Shoe Viewer with your neck craned down? Do you watch shoes all over town? I know some collect shoes in mass but no need to look at any on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Pop A Pill And Avoid The Repair Bill!

The cat sees it all the time, humans going about their pill popping chime. Look, my blood work is great, after taking a pill to inflate. Pfffft riiiight! Go off the pill and it will change over night. Nothing but a fool fooling him or herself, being lazy and ignoring the route cause at ones shelf.

Let's fix the car.
It can't go far.
But screw the bill,
Just give it a pill.

Look it still...is broken.
Damn, I want back my Mario token.
That is worth a lot.
Could give me a power up when caught.

Let's repair the house.
We have to get out the mouse.
Or would that be mice.
Trap and release to be nice.

Give the house a pill.
It will really get a thrill.
Just flush it down the loo,
And all will be shiny new.

Look it is...still rundown and mice filled.
I am less than thrilled.
My house should be fixed.
All that is wrong should be nixed.

I'll fix society with ease.
I can give them all brain freeze.
Come here and take my pill.
It will cure anything that makes you ill.

It...worked!
Up everything perked.
The mindless zombies flow.
Fluoride heads on the go.

Whoops, that's another thing.
Shhh, don't tell I gave that a ring.
Just suck back that pill,
It will cure what makes you ill.

You will lose weight.
Your ego will inflate.
You'll be fine as can be.
Just pop a pill you see.

Take care of the maintenance on your car,
Take care of it on everything near and far,
But don't take care of yourself.
Take the pill and trust the magic little white robed elf.

Humans are so backwards it isn't funny. They take the time and spend the money, going to fix up cars, houses and this and that. But meh to themselves, do what we want and pop a pill for the fat. Now some do need pills and such, but many use them as a crutch. Instead of getting off their ass, they let a pill save them in mass. So is the current social class. They get no sympathy from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

You Can Do It Has A Fit!

Got a review here to view too!
Wow, the cat just has to say you humans have high hopes at your bay. I've heard the saying a time or ten and now I'll get to it at my den. You tell each other that you can do anything. You change up the ending like a fling.

You can do anything,
Is the first part.
Then mind has a fling,
Or sometimes it's heart.

There is also a to.
But that you know.
As it's been used by you.
With some cheery glow.

So anything I can do?
Wow, that is so great.
Let's see if this is true.
I'll take the bait.

I can fly!
Err umm kersplat.
I didn't die,
Just one life gone from the cat.

I can win the lottery!
Umm err you lose.
Why not take up pottery?
Pfft go away before I abuse.

I can jump to the moon.
Umm err I'm still here.
Damn, where's that spoon.
It will bring magic near.

I can cure cancer.
Umm err that special water didn't work.
Never should have trusted Prancer.
Crummy reindeer jerk.

I can wish things away.
Umm err they are still here.
My shit is still on display.
Pat still has to scoop for my rhyming rear.

I can drink acid and survive.
Umm err I'm dead.
What's that? Life five?
I need to go to bed.

I can say stuff it.
Yep, stuff the saying.
It's wrong every bit.
It gets no replaying.

That cat just proved you humans wrong. Maybe you need to add realistically instead of anything to your saying song? But is that too much of a mouthful for you? You can realistically do anything at your zoo. Was that so hard? Not like you had to mow a big yard. I will now go pass some realistic gas out my realistic little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

An Extra Treat For A Cheat!

The cat will admit to one and all that I've cheated a time or two at my hall. Raise your hand if you are with me? What? Not a one I can see. Maybe that's because I'm not there at each and every lair. Bah, maybe not. We all cheat a lot.

Rules are great,
Rules are grand.
Take the bait,
Raise your hand.

Follow and bend,
Or bend and scoop.
They are a fine trend.
Bah, rules are poop.

Some are good.
Some are needed.
Break some you should.
Yep, that I've deeded.

But that we've done.
That we've said.
Time for fun,
Cheat to be fed.

Money on the road.
You found it today.
When in tax mode,
Whoops, it was hay.

A glance to the left,
A glance to the right.
Hey, it's not theft,
If a test answer was in sight.

Cards held out.
Cards help up.
I won't shout,
And fill my cup.

A race to home.
A race to work.
Short cut to roam,
Who'd want the work perk?

The a to z,
One big mass.
Get ahead like me,
Challenge can pass.

A little extra nudge.
A little extra seat.
With a sly smudge,
Can't beat the cheat.

Raised your hand yet? That is a safe bet. Everyone has cheated in some way. Unless one is a real goody two shoes at their bay. Nothing big like a fling in spring, but there is always a little thing. Yeah, a time or two the cat cheated in class. Don't go telling on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Into Hell We Shall Dwell!

The cat hears this one a lot. Many think it hot to trot. Or would that be trot to hot? Maybe neither if you don't get caught. So sit for a spell or run like hell.

There is many types,
They give me gripes.
Who wants to run?
The cat doesn't find that fun.

You can run.
Run for fun.
You can jog,
Even with a dog.

I'd rather walk,
With no rock in my sock.
But who cares about that.
I'm beating around the bush where we're at.

Yeah, that one is strange too.
Who beats around a bush at their zoo?
Don't even need to go gutter.
Run like hell if that sets you aflutter.

Run like hell!
An easy sell.
Been used everywhere.
Even at my lair.

But can a place run?
Damn, that would be interesting by a ton.
Hell can run fast or slow?
Damned if I know.

Maybe run like hell is bad.
It means no running is had.
Hell can't run and neither can you.
Deal with it at your zoo.

Hell could be hot on your heels,
Literally as up your leg it feels.
Still can't run like it though.
For there is no running to and fro.

Raise a little hell.
Whoops, rang the wrong bell.
Is that like a volcano though?
You raise a little bit from down below?

And of course this assumes it's real,
Which it is most likely a fake deal.
So you are running like a place that may not exist.
Doesn't that just leave you pissed?

Do you run like hell? Can you stop and tell? The cat wonders how you run like it. That has to be some serious running shit. You can run like a, most likely, mythical place. Is it quite the pace? Some sort of going nowhere race? I could go on all day with this embrace. I guess I'll raise a little hell later on with my sass. I'm done doing it today with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Eyeing You Up Like A Butt To A Pup!

That was quite the comparison there but I know you don't care at your lair. No but to the butts especially from mutts. Anyway, get your eyes ready as the rhyme comes steady.

The path I pave,
Is something you have.
This fun has been done,
But for a while it was gone.

Can it bring you dough?
Maybe if money you can cough.
That would be grand in your hood.
Money coming up like food.

Do you want it coming up again?
Money might taste plain.
Could you do it every hour?
That would be quite the tour.

It would be a strange brew.
Might be hard to sew.
But can beat the heat.
That has to be great.

Just don't yell at the cook.
Then you'd be a mook.
Might end up in a tomb.
Don't forget a comb.

Hey, spittle could sink lower.
So enjoy the money tower.
Throw a dog a bone.
Could be the one.

Watch him run to and fro.
At least it's something to do.
No need for a magic wand.
Isn't that just grand?

He may chew a doll,
Or pay your toll.
Please you he shall.
Unless you trip and fall.

Then you may get a wart,
Or smell a stinky fart.
That may get a swear word.
After a pull of the rip cord.

Give him a cork.
Not sure it would work.
But he is your ward.
Send the mutt a nice card.

Did you catch on to me? Have your eyes adjusted to my sea? From spitting up money to a mutt that sniffs butts when sunny. The cat just went with it. Are you still thinking something like, what the shit? Eye rhymes can cause sass, but every once in a while they have to be done by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.