Pat Hatt's Blog, page 123

Be There In Five If I Survive!

You humans sure get stuck on certain minutes at your sea. Has that ever been noticed by thee? If not then the cat may have lost you already. Don't worry, I'll catch you up as I rhyme steady.

Be home in ten.
Shouted at your den.
You make it in eight,
As you drive through the gate.

Be there in five,
You say at your hive.
You are there in six.
Maybe just for kicks.

See you in fifteen,
You sound so serene.
You are there in nine.
Lying to the feline?

Take me ten minutes to get there.
You lie again at your lair.
Only took you seven.
Is this some decree from Heaven?

Did you fail math?
Brains take a bath?
They come out your ears?
Do you have other number fears?

What happened to four?
Did it go on tour?
Did six get the boot?
Was five just a big brute?

Did eleven run off?
Maybe twelve decided to scoff.
It beats little old me.
Maybe we just can't overwhelm thee.

You have to stay whelmed each day,
So five or ten is all you can say.
Maybe throw in a fifteen.
Hey, you may have to stay home and clean.

You need that extra bit.
Or you could just say umm duck it.
Say you'll be there soon.
Soon equals anything before noon.

You sure jive,
With ten or five.
Neglecting poor nine.
So mean says the feline.

Now do you notice what you do? You all lie at your zoo. You may say five or ten but you usually never get there in that time at your den. Then you make the cat sit and wait. Waiting the cat will always hate. I'll be back in seven though, just so you know. Or would that be at seven the next day? Hey, I have to cause a little dismay. Enjoy ignoring the other numbers in mass, I'll see you in four, three, six, whatever, with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

All Over, Like Turds To Rover!

Today the a to z is done and I get to use "All Over" for A under my sun. Backwards has its perks. Yeah, it is two words but it still works. Many will be happy it is all over at their sea. Most don't post every day like me.

What else makes you glad?
What else makes you happy?
Maybe even at your pad,
It could make you yappy.

When something is done,
And you can move on.
What kind of end run,
Makes all over and done.

Is it the A to Z?
Now you can rest.
Now you are free.
Did you pass the test?

Is it a job?
The one you hate.
You know, with a snob,
And only done to fill your plate.

Is it a course or test?
Those can drag on.
I prefer to be a pest,
Than to be a pawn.

Is it a show?
Glad it is all over?
Like Under the Dome's glow,
That was more horrible than a feces eating rover.

Is it a trip?
One that you dread?
Like on a leaky ship,
Where you may end up dead?

Is it a date?
Those can sure suck.
You search for your mate,
And pass the buck.

Is it a meeting?
They can be boring.
After the initial meeting,
You may end up snoring.

Is it the cat?
Nah, it can't be.
I chew the fat,
Every day at my sea.

Glad that anything is all over in your life? The stuff that causes strife? Glad the a to z is done? Did you do a backwards run? Can only go forwards and not back? Damn, I'm a talented cat at my shack. So the a to z is all over and done. My break has ceased under my sun. Back to posts about that and this that you can't miss. Well maybe you could take a pass but it would never be forgotten by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Don't Choke You Aren't The Butt Of This Joke!

The cat refers to his rhyming ass at the end of each post. So I may be adding to this phenomenon at my coast. But you humans did it way before me. You seem to have a thing with butts at your sea. So for B in my backwards a to z butts go on a spree.

You can kick butt.
Wowwee, at you hut.
You can kick the place it will least hurt.
Can't even make blood spurt.

You need a kick in the butt?
Are you a nut?
Why do you need a kick?
Too many reasons to pick?

You worked your butt off?
That has to make you scoff.
Did you sell your butt after it fell?
Was it a tough sell?

You butted heads?
Can that be done in beds?
Would the head go to the butt?
Quite the head butt rut.

You busted your butt?
That's a kick to the gut.
Now you are backed up.
Need some ex-lax in your cup.

Get your butt over here.
So you just want my rear?
Is that some weird fetish of yours?
I'm not gonna be any butt fetish scores.

Butt out!
What's that about?
My butt has to leave but I can stay?
That may be tricky, but okay.

I'm a pain in the butt?
How did I make that cut?
I wasn't even near you.
Magical butt pain causing powers at my zoo.

You got a butt I can bum.
Redundant and them some.
Oh a cigarette you say?
Take your lung cancer far away.

My butt is through.
Damn, what a but can do.
Nope, I won't flirt.
Are you butt hurt?

Do you use butt a lot at your sea? I am shaking my head at thee. Maybe you'll be the butt of the joke next time. Could be a butt worthy rhyme. Can substitute in arse and ass too. But that didn't work for B at my zoo. Now I'll go pass some gas out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Damn, I'm That Where I'm At?

So the cat has seen this done and heard this term used under our sun. I guess they could be me if you think Pat pretends to be a cat at our sea. But the cat really does all the work. Time for my C backwards a to z smirk.

Look at me.
I'm as real as can be.
Just read what I say.
A romance may come your way.

Whoops, I'm just fooling.
I left you drooling.
Silly old me.
See you on my next spree.

Look at me.
I'm as real as can be.
Just read what I say.
A new romance could come your way.

You're such a fool.
I am so cool.
You fell for it twice.
I know, I'm not nice.

But catfishing is so fun.
It just has to be done.
You get to be a cat and a fish.
Isn't that everyone's wish?

But why be fake?
Because one you can make?
To scam a few?
Maybe more than two?

Nah, it's the thrill.
Wait, get that from a pill.
I guess it's just the special way,
That catfish look in the day.

They are wise.
They eat flies.
They swim in their own poop,
And lots of other goop.

Who wouldn't want to be one?
Catfishing is fun.
Don't even need a rod.
Can lie about your bod.

Create the life you like.
Then tell all to take a hike.
Create a new one each day,
Catfishing without the need for a bay.

Are you a catfisher at your sea? All fake and such like the ninja wannabe? Hey, he hides behind a mini me. The cat let's it all fly free. But is it really me? Am I catfishing thee? Sorry, I'm snip snip, so no catfishing romance trip. Have you ever been or seen one? They sure can turn up the fake a ton. I'll stick with the singing bass. He is much nicer than any catfish to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Little Disorder From Every Border!

The cat knew you humans were strange but some are really out there on the range. Actually far far out there. So far left field is bare. Disorders are for D with my backwards a to z.

There is a one,
That can't be fun.
When walking corpse syndrome is had,
The person thinks they are really dead at their pad.

Here's one for you,
It happens to women too.
It is a fear that genitals or breasts are being retracted within,
Shrinking and will cause death to take a spin.

The Jumping Frenchmen of Maine isn't tame,
Yep, that's the actually disorder name,
Happens when a person is startled a ton,
And starts flailing arms and freaking out in front of everyone.

A hit to the brain,
Can be a gain.
You could develop a foreign accent in your speech.
Means Foreign Accent Syndrome is in reach.

A movie dealt with this one,
At least I think with its run.
Alien Hand Syndrome is at play,
When your hand has a mind of its own at ones bay.

Lycanthropy gets a head shake from the cat.
You humans are crazy where you are at.
It means people think they are or are becoming an animal of some kind.
Yep, you humans surely can lose your mind.

Erotomania can sure scare.
So of those beware.
They think a celebrity they may have never even met,
Is in love with them more than any person, thing or pet.

This one is scary.
You eat yourself like a berry.
Self-Cannibalism is the name.
Eating yourself is the game.

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome must be trippy.
Maybe one spent too much time as a hippy?
It is when everything seems small.
Your car could seem as small as the photo on your wall.

And last but not least,
Deals with a feast.
Pica is what it is called from sea to sea,
And it is when one eats things of no nutritional value like paint, feces or bark from a tree.

Hmm being a crazy rhyming cat does not sound too bad after all of that. I guess I can steer clear of the looney bin where I'm at. Know anyone with such a thing? I hope you don't have any at your wing. The brain can sure screw with humans near and far. Imagine viewing a real car as a dinky car. The cat will just deal with the gas that comes out his little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Let The Emotions Flow Today At My Show!

Actually do the reverse of the title at my sea. The cat hates the eep-ers and want them to flee. They are hard on the head and ears. Eeeping whether happy or facing fears. Emotion is for E today with my backwards a to z display.

Those that cry,
Those that whine.
Away I'll fly,
They annoy the feline.

Their snot and tears,
Are oh so scary.
Rather sniff some rears,
With a dog who's hairy.

Those that eep,
Can go fly a kite.
Fall somewhere deep,
Along with weepers out of sight.

Out of sight out of mind.
That works for me.
The damn emotional kind,
Stir up my OCD.

Here and there,
I guess is okay.
But if it isn't rare,
Keep the waterworks away.

Emotional constipated is where it's at.
They are much better to the cat.
Unless they grow rather fat.
I wouldn't want to go splat.

They say nothing at all.
They leave me alone.
They don't even call,
And have the same tone.

Plus the phrase is fun.
Emotional constipation.
Although if that is done,
Could be some sort of causation.

A serial killer.
Hmm maybe that's bad.
Could beat the waterworks filler,
Just by a tad.

I'll take the middle.
If I really have to.
They can hey diddle diddle,
And no murder or eeps will come due.

Are you an eep-er? If so the cat may be a bleeper. As in words he can't say to scare you away. Are you a whiner? Damn, emotions could sure be finer. Can't you just give a hateful look like cats? Humans are such dingbats. I guess cats may be emotional constipated in mass. But don't worry, I'm not plotting to kill anyone, yet, with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Feline Way On Display!

Not to be confused with that cowboy movie that had a ghostbuster riding a horse, the cats have another way of course. Did you get the reference at my sea? Or are you still hung up on my backwards a to z?


What you looking at? You are scary to the cat.Look at that bed head.Are you sure you aren't undead?

You still looking at me?I have an itch at our sea.I have no time for you.I have some scratching to do.

Whoa! You look scary. Like something dipped in diary.Did you come out a cow?That could explain things somehow.

Bah, I have a toy to chew.Go away and let it come due.Or don't go away.It will still happen as I play.

Come and touch a toy.It is not a ploy. I want to play with you.Maybe scratch your hand a time or two.

What? You want to lean back?Pffft not unless you want a whack.Go sit on the couch.I am not a grouch.

Yep, they are all mine.Not a sharing feline. So just go away.You get nothing in which to play.

Don't step near me.I am warning thee.Your leg can be a scratch post. I'm not a gracious host.

You calling me fat? I'm just a stretched out cat.Worry about your own weight.You're the one that needs a date.

 Go bug Cass.She's a moody lass.You want sass?Okay, talk to the ass.
That is the feline way. F is for felines if you didn't get that at your bay. I know it was hard to grasp for some. You were just so hung up on my bum. It is now out there for the world to see. Does my bum impress thee? I told you to go bug Cass. But nope, you'd rather see my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

We Can Build It With A Fit!

The cat watched some at the other sea and it was quite the spree. Yep, Profanity Granny, trying to put together a shelf thingy. Her words sure were rather umm springy. She thought she could do it without instructions at her pad. I guess that idea was bad.

This goes here,
That goes there.
Like a head to an ear,
Oops, out comes a swear.

All words were used.
The cat was amused.
No ears were abused,
As things were fused.

This goes there,
That goes here.
Whoops, another swear.
Cats run in fear.

Under the bed,
They go to hide.
The dogs even dread,
Her profanity ride.

This on that,
That on this.
I'll take a bat,
And that won't miss.

A screw goes here,
A screw goes there.
Give a cheer,
Right at her lair.

Whoops, maybe not.
Backwards it was.
Swearing comes a lot,
Ears are abuzz.

The cat watches from afar,
Liking the others all gone.
Worth the trip in the car,
To see such a thing dawn.

Instructions come out.
It gets done quick.
Then comes a shout,
It came out some slick.

Where were you?
Why didn't you help?
A little asshole comes due,
I smirk, not yelp.

Was too fun to watch at my sea. Was that mean of me? The cat sat on the table and watched the show. Cassie was too prissy to give it a go. Hey, it got done and gave the cat fun. Pat or the cat didn't need to help out. We just lazed about. She can be one cranky old lass but she is too slow to catch my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Want Some More Of The Gore?

The cat will create killers today with my backwards a to z display. Yep, it will all be because of me. Damn, I better watch out for the nuts going all PC. Gore is for G as you can see.


Look it's a guy eating heads.Must be mocking undeads.Isn't that just bad?Don't you want to do it at your pad?

Then you can jump like this.That has to bring bliss.Be a fashion nazi too.That has to impress a head eating you.

Don't you love this look?Go all gory at your nook. Take the skin off and stare.Then you'll truly win at your lair.

You will turn blue.Now that has to impress you.You saw it here first.Go and quench that thirst.

Chop off a face.A fun embrace.It has to be done.Do it for fun.

Then you get new clothes.You can even pose.And not smell like shit.You will be the new it.

Torture away.It works they say.A prick here and there,With no time to spare.

Then you get a big pricker.That has to help the ticker.At least yours it will.Others may not thrill.

Eat some yummy guts.That will break ruts.Go all cannibal at your sea. It could really be for thee.

 Then hold up a gun.That will impress anyone.Give a stern look.You'll scare away any crook.
Look, there was gore on the screen at my sea. Oh no, people will go nuts on some violence spree. Wait! What? It is fake? Wowee, that gets a head shake. I truly thought all of that was real. Gore sounded like a great deal. I mean it could turn me blue. I was about to try it at my zoo. Pfffft and if you believe anything in this post you are a nut that needs to go to the looney bin at your coast. But then most of this is okay. If I were to show a naked ass the PC brigade would really be at my bay. That is so so so bad. Face chopping is fine to see at any pad. Maybe I'll do that for a? Did you expect zombie feet at my bay? Pffft once more to anything fake, gore or not, making one violent in mass. That notion can just pucker up to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Fill Your Cup And Hemp It Up!

The cat is here with H for the a to z today and we are going to join the hemp foray. It seems that it can be used for one and all. We just have to share it at our hall.

You may not know,
But hemp can grow.
Oh, that you knew?
Excuse my zoo.

But there is more,
From shore to shore.
It is said with glee,
That hemp can...let's see.

Make a longer lasting battery.
Get rid of wrinkles for flattery.
Give you better hair.
Pay your bus fair.

Grow wings out your back.
Stop a heart attack.
Make you as strong as a bear.
Pretty up your lair.

Give you big feet.
Make you go into heat.
Get you pregnant without sex.
Counter any hex.

Make you part the sea.
You can also walk on it with glee.
It can even make you rich,
And cure any old itch.

It can do it all.
From winter to fall.
So board the train.
You have much to gain.

It will cure all.
Make you rich at your hall.
Make you president too.
There is nothing hemp can't do.

So if you didn't know,
Now you can just grow.
You can be wise.
Follow those hemp cries.

And if aliens attack,
Hemp will force them back.
It can kill them with ease.
It can even kill fleas.

Pffffft says the cat. Nuts are just out to lunch where they are at. Are you a hemp fanatic at your sea? Might not want to tell me. It has its positives for sure but it isn't an end all be all cure. It can't make your car magically run with no gas. It won't make you get a lad or lass. It also won't make money grow from grass. Not sorry to have made your bubble burst by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.