Pat Hatt's Blog, page 126

Walk The Plank Or Give A Yank?

Oh where this could go if you let your gutter mind flow. But the cat shall stray and keep on task today. At least I will try. Even snip snip, I'm still a bit spry. So for Y we have Yanker. No, not down there, you wanker.

What are you,
There at your zoo?
Are you the yes man?
Maybe woman for a yes span.

Or are you a yanker?
You know, the anchor.
Do you yank people back,
There at your shack?

Yank them from the cliff,
After they get a big whiff?
The yanker of common sense,
When things get tense?

Which way do you yank?
Yanker of money from the bank?
At least there is no fees.
You can yank with the breeze.

Ever think you were a yanker?
Beats an oil tanker.
Then you'd be slick,
And most likely a dick.

Worked dick in without yanking.
The cat doesn't need a spanking.
Hmm, I guess I'm a yanker,
Pulling myself back before I become a wanker.

Is that a bloody wanker?
Have to ask a yanker.
They can yank all back.
Go on a yanking attack.

Not to be confused with a Yank.
They are some human rank.
A Yank that's a yanker,
May even impress a banker.

But back on task.
Nope, I haven't hit the flask.
The cat doesn't drink.
Yank myself away from the sink.

Do you yank all away?
Are you the yanker at your bay?
Maybe I'm yanking your chain.
The cat likes to be a pain.

Are you ready to tell the cat? Are you the yanker where you are at? Blogger doesn't like the word yanker. Spell check can be a real wanker. So the yanker or the yankee, which one are thee? Were you surprised with my yanking Y? Yeah, I am doing the a to z backwards in case you are new under my sky. If that screws you up here is some gas. That will fix all from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

An A To Zest As I Flip The Test!

So it it time for the a to z. Many have a theme at their sea. Many more are just lazy bums who expect visits without doing a thing. Whoops, did I offend at your blog wing? Not sorry at all. Now where was I at my hall? Oh yes, no theme for me. I will just wing it at my sea. Wait, I have a theme. It is a backwards a to z stream. So my z to a will come what may.

Z is for zest.
Not the food test.
Screw the spice.
Feed it to lice.

Hey, it may kill.
That could thrill.
Zest for lice killing.
My, that would get top billing.

Some will be stressed,
With the a to z addressed.
Some will be on a quest,
To meet many a guest.

Be our guest?
I'm a pest.
Now you have zest.
Singing Disney from your chest.

Beats Let it go.
Whoops, out it will flow.
Damn, double the zest.
Aren't I a pest?

But now you have zest.
Sing from east to west.
The zest does flow.
May scare if you have an open window.

Dogs may howl.
Neighbors may growl.
Might need a bulletproof vest,
But don't let them stop your zest.

Zest will get you through.
Not hard to do.
Maybe touch a breast.
Hey, would give me zest.

Depending on who.
But that you knew.
At least I hope.
No need to mope.

Don't even need to be dressed,
To have such zest.
Of course zest you can tell,
If certain things swell.

Zest to the gutter. Are you going to stutter? Do you have zest? Gonna complete this a to z test? Mad that I went z to a? Bah, go sniff my litter tray. Backwards and maybe upside down sure works in my crazy town. Now Z has been done. Time for Y fun. Can you say the alphabet backwards quick? Like my z pick? I will get crazier in the a to z mass. On that, you can trust my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

I Will Help Thee Before The A To Z!

With the a to z about to start and everyone tied up taking the alphabet to heart, the cat thought he'd help you out. I mean you don't have much time to go out and about. So if you need a mate I've found you a date.

I've been divorced 3 times
May want to try dating mimes.
I'm simple......
Are the dots some plot the pimple?

Believe in chance
Hmm isn't being online an opposite stance?
Camping is my passion
So is mountain wear judging by your fashion

Will yu b my vaalettine
A little late or early for that to align.
If you not real don't message me I wil block you
Somehow I don't think any blocking will need to come due.

Can you keep me occupied?
Sure, whoops, I lied.
Time will always out
Even in a drought?

I'm stuck here
A sticky situation, dear?
Every time I see you I glow with happiness inside
Are you sure that's not a backed up gas ride?

No **sholes.
Hmm, every one has one so you have lofty goals.
Noone meets at Wal-Mart
No love over buying a pop tart?

Catch and release
So guys you lease?
Wanna try ice fishing
Umm, keep on wishing.

I like most things, i like music, I like movies, I like kids, i like...
I thing you covered that with your first I like hike.
Do you know when to use where, where and wear?
Yep, better than you with mistakes to spare.

Looking for rich and thin
Going to give the wheel of fortune a spin?
Wanna have a baby with me?
Nope, because I have an IQ higher than three.

A mixed bag
Like those mixed nuts or some mixed flag?
Looking for the keeper.
That Crypt Keeper guy may be a peeper.

So now the cat has helped once more. You can get plenty of lovin' at your shore. But if you have an asshole you might lose out on one. Hey, that's still 19 left for fun. Enjoy your dating during the a to z all thanks to little old me. But if you catch something from an online lass don't blame my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

True Or Not With This Plot!

The cat rolls his eyes every day. All it takes is one story, if you can call it that, on display. This and that or that and this. On each one the cat can piss.

The internet is grand.
I can rant each day.
I even get my own land.
Or I may call it bay.

But so do more,
And some aren't bright.
They add to a lore,
Or fail to see the light.

Then more dumb join in,
It is ever so fun.
Now there is a new spin,
Thanks to every dumb one.

Over here this is bad.
Over there this is good.
Each side making the other mad,
By screwing with "facts" in each hood.

No happy middle.
Nope, not a one.
With things they fiddle,
So theirs is as bright as the sun.

Their info is correct.
No common sense at all.
They still stand erect.
Guess they have farther to fall.

But more nuts believe.
They all think it true.
I mean it is easy to achieve,
It is right there in view.

It has to be right.
It's on a valid site.
That's makes it bright.
It's there in black and white.

Unless a weird font is had,
Then it's still there.
Just change the colors a tad,
And you have "facts" to spare.

Stuck in a rut,
Thanks to a site.
Even if written by a nut,
It's all "true" day or night.

Pfffft to simple humans everywhere. They look at one site and think it is oh so true at their lair. Then they spit out the crap over and over. I'd put more stock in a butt sniffing rover. If you find the same thing on 50 sites, then okay, you might be on to something at your bay. But still could be crap. Do you just rely on one site at your side of the map? Any fool with a connection can pretend to have a IQ and brain mass. So pffft to it all says my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Empower Yourself Like A Happy Elf!

The cat really thinks humans need to get a grip. But I guess from the Kool-Aid some take a big sip. Have to have others to prop them up. More attention seeking than a butt sniffing pup.

My life is stinky,
Even for blinky.
Hmm, was that bad?
But Blinky is sad.

I know the way,
To a much brighter day.
Can get you a wife,
And free you from strife.

Make you a better life,
As sharp as a knife.
It will be shiny too.
Shiny as a golden loo.

Old one eye knows of that.
She lied to the cat.
But we won't go there.
What? You can help me get over it at my lair?

Only for $399.99 a week?
My, that is the deal I seek.
How about that?
Are you with that cat?

You could have it made.
Relax all day in the shade.
Empower yourself each day.
Just listen to what they say.

They sure know best.
They aren't a pest.
They are a happy guest.
They sponge off you the best.

The best times two.
Whatever will you do?
You got the best best.
That has to give you zest.

So give them a call.
You won't fall.
You will rise up.
No need for coffee in your cup.

Hire a life coach today.
Empowering will come your way.
They will get you a better life,
Free from stress and strife.

Pfffffft and if you believe that I have a bridge I can sell you where I'm at. It is soooo cheap and sturdy as can be. Don't you want to buy that bridge from me? Pfffft once more to life coach nuts. You want advice? Get off your poor pitiful me butts. There, the cat saved you a ton of dough. Aren't I helpful at my show? Did you ever take a life coaching class? You might want to never tell my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Super Lie That Flies Upon High!

The cat has heard it here and there. I have heard it many a time at my lair. What if that was the ultimate lie? That being most anything under the sky. Well let's see what may come to be.

Reality is the ultimate lie.
Yeah, look at that fake guy.
The Matrix is so real.
Hope we don't get a bad sequel deal.

Life after death is the ultimate lie.
What? No big bearded guy in the sky?
Damn, what will I think when I'm dead.
Oh wait, I'll have no thoughts in my head.

Fair government is the ultimate lie.
Err umm, that well has run dry.
Fair and government never goes hand in hand.
Corrupt as can be across the land.

Space is the ultimate lie.
Yeah, made up by some tin foil hat guy.
I guess he liked to get probed.
Maybe a nudist and always de-robed?

Marriage is the ultimate lie.
What? Can't keep things spry?
Have to fool around with every Tom, Dick and Harry?
Or would that be Sam, Barb and Mary?

Love is the ultimate lie.
So no lawyers to fry?
Just hormones running wild?
Enjoy your 15th child.

Life is the ultimate lie.
We don't get a piece of any pie.
Nope, life just isn't real.
This is some magic ordeal.

Image is the ultimate lie.
The well really must have ran dry.
You mean you can't see me?
I'm not there to view at my sea?

Time is the ultimate lie.
Yep, it just flies by.
Wait, nothing flies by.
Watches, clocks, the sun, it's all a lie.

Owning cats is the ultimate lie.
Yep, we own every girl or guy.
So this one is entirely true.
But ultimate? I think not at my zoo.

Exaggerate any lies lately at your sea? Think any are really lies to thee? Are we in The Matrix right now? Are these questions making you have a cow? Lots of lies about. Blinders by many as lies they shout. I'll just go lie in the grass and ultimately rest my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

An Out And About!

Do you expect to see pics of me out and about? Throw that notion out. The cat will stay here and rest my rhyming rear. But I will make fun. That has to be done.

Everyone uses it.
It's a hit.
They say and they use.
It sure can amuse.

Even the cat,
Chews the fat,
And uses it here.
Does that get an oh dear?

Out and about.
I get the out.
But the about?
What's with that shout?

What is about about?
Does it just need out?
Like a dog needs the yard.
Am I thinking too hard?

Bah, not hard at all.
Just comes to me at my hall.
So what's about about?
Something to rhyme and spout?

Or maybe about is about a story.
An out and about story in all its glory.
The story of you out.
That is what the story is about.

That could bore.
Unless great things you explore.
Like climbing a big hill.
To some, that could thrill.

Maybe the out is the about.
Did I make your brain fall out?
Since you are out, the out is what its about.
About meaning you got out.

Does that make sense?
Are you still on the fence?
It might get pokey.
About is a little hokey.

I'll stick with my first guess.
This isn't chess.
About is used for the rhyme.
Humans like a rhyming chime.

Do you use out and about? What is the about about with that shout? Ever think of such things? My brain has many wings. Could get lost up there and stuck forever. That would be a tiring endeavor. I'll go out and about and roll in some grass and that is all you need to know about my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A That And This Kinda Bliss!

The cat has a point today, not really in what I say, but we will pretend I do. I just have to let loose at my zoo. Not lose but loose, just in case you are a moose or a goose on the loose.

Look at me.
I went Grammar Nazi.
A cheat rhyme too.
Hey, works at my zoo.

Is it a zoo?
I'm not like Blue.
No zoo near me.
Just we three.

We three sounds funny.
Sounds like we have lots of money.
That or we are about to win.
Do all those bad guys in.

I'm cooking chicken as I type this.
Lasts 6 days without a miss.
2 trays from Costco.
Not cheap high or low.

Did you need to know?
I bet it's a no.
But maybe it's a yes.
Plus, isn't it good to confess?

That's what they say.
With their they fray.
We don't know who they are.
But beats them by far.

Or is that reverse?
Okay, don't curse.
Or go voodoo on me.
That's a curse too you see.

But that is fake.
Feeble minds quake.
Poof, you can believe.
Believe and you can achieve.

Achieve bad too.
Nonsense thanks to you.
Or is it thanks to me?
I am on a nonsense spree.

Anything to add?
What's that at my pad?
Oh right, I can't hear you.
Just we three at our zoo.

Are you whelmed today? Whelmed at my bay. My bay, my zoo, my shack. Damn, for places we don't lack. Or at least the name of our place. Many factions we embrace. But we've been down that road. Wow, was that a nonsense load? I'll say it all came from the singing bass. He can take the heat for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

The Worth Of It All On My Wall!

So you have things worth a ton. That sure must be fun. I have things worth this and that. I am just a worth holding cat. Maybe my words are of worth? Bah, either way, I will spread them across the earth.

I have this.
It's a can't miss.
You must buy.
The price is high.

Come look at my car.
It can get you far.
It is worth a ton.
A deal should be done.

Look at my toys.
They bring joys.
But they are without a scratch.
Worth a lot for the whole batch.

This is a rare game.
It may even be lame.
But it is super rare.
Worth a lot at my lair.

Look at my house.
Doesn't even have a mouse.
It is so so so big.
Come buy and dance a jig.

That isn't worth much.
You can't sell it and such.
Don't bother with that.
It is worth as much as scat.

That thing there?
Pffft worth less than cat hair.
Don't even try.
Away all will fly.

Your beat up shoes?
Nah, they aren't news.
Throw them in the trash,
Or let Blue have a shoe bash.

Worth is easy to see.
Worth is from millions to free.
Worth is just there.
Worth is something you can't spare.

What is that?
Don't chew the fat.
I want to know.
Everything is worthless without the correct person to show.

Things may be worth something according to this, that and the other thing, but they are only worth as much as someone is willing to pay for the bling. So how was that for words of worth? Ready to send me cheques from all over Earth? Not a one? Damn, I just have cheap fun. I'll now go roll in some worthless grass as it has worth to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

In Post Twenty Four Gloria Takes The Tour!

So here we are on the day when 24 posts come from my bay. You'd think Pat would have something better to do on his birthday. Nope, he's here to annoy and play. This year we are back to all of you. Who scored the highest last year at my zoo? That we shall see. Slacker? Attacker? Ghost? Betweener? Which will it be?

Entering A Sorta SlackerShe's a Cooking Attacker
Gloria
Another one that got five.She must have been cooking at her hive.Have to make many a dish,She can make whatever you wish.
She takes pics too,Showing them at her zoo.Even though she tries to kill me.That isn't nice at my sea.
What was that?I can chew the fat?That I can do.Does Gloria chop that off at her zoo? 
What was that?I can chew the fat?That I can do.Does Gloria chop that off at her zoo? 
Look, times two.I can be Gloria too.Care to go for three?Gloria likes a repeat comment spree.
And now you have met twenty four at my sea. There are now no more to be shown to thee. Did you make it through this year? Did you top last year's cheer? I guess we shall see what comes to be with this year's 24 posts in one day spree. Can you do posts in mass? It is easy to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.