Rhyll Biest's Blog, page 11
May 31, 2014
Ninja Quotes
The ninjas' favourite quotes, both from both books and while splashing around in the social media play pool.
“Time flies when you’re talking lizard sex.” Ainslie Paton on Twitter.
“There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.” Terry Pratchett.
“Home is heaven & orgies are vile, but I like an orgy, once in a while.” Ogden Nash
“Every Ladyboner is well-dressed or wears a beanie.” Sandra Antonelli spruiking the Naughty Ninjas site on Twitter.
“My Lactation Consultant is a Lesbian Werewolf!” Book title seen on Twitter.
“Oh God, I just smushed my hand on the iPad and it did stuff and now I’m worried I accidentally retweeted Hitler.” Charlotte Stein.
June is… The Month of the merkin!
The Month of the merkin! Celebrate by buying yourself a copy of the book A Short and Curly Craft: How to make your own merkin by Kit Darling. You can see it here.
May 29, 2014
Lust Object: Va j-j Visor
What’s a Va j-j Visor, I hear you ask. It’s a jock cup for chicks, to “help protect all of those tender and sensitive parts that you don't want exposed during various methods of hair removal.” Hey, I’ve got an idea, leave your fuzz alone and you won’t need one. But if you must trim the hedges, get your visor here.
May 28, 2014
Lust Object: Beanie Food Keeper
Lily "Beanie Queen" Malone loves a beanie and the minute we saw this fabulous little food keeper, we knew it had to be a part of every ninja's kitchen.
Want one? Get it here.
May 24, 2014
Lust object: High Heel Speakers
High heels... speakers... high heels... speakers... okay, it's a batshit crazy idea but they're cheaper than real heels! And they're red! And we love them!
Want them? Get them here.
May 23, 2014
May 23 is… World Turtle Day
Ninjas who read the Naughty Nature page and Grammar Ninjas will know all about the saucy turtle and its enormous DONG. World Turtle Day has nothing to do with enormous dongs, but if you choose to dress as a turtle to celebrate you should probably aim for anatomical correctness. Just sayin’.
Turtle reads…
The Turtle Diaries by Russell Hoban
A divorced used-book store owner, a successful writer of children’s books, each irresistibly drawn to the turtle tank at the London Zoo with a mind “full of turtle thoughts” wondering how the creatures might be freed. This one looked a real winner to us.
Turtle Island Series by Kim Law
All three titles are set on the fictional Turtle Island, and while all three books have mixed reviews, you can always engage in ‘safe reading’ (the reading equivalent of safe sex) by reading the first chapter on Amazon to see if the author’s style is your cup of turtle. Ah, tea.
May 21, 2014
Lust Object: Viva La Utera Vulva Love Tea
Vulvalovelovely says it best:
“Down with Uterine and Breast Cancer! Long Live my Lady Parts!” Drink 2-3 cups a day to keep your lady parts in tip top shape.
Want it? Buy it here!
May 19, 2014
May 20 is the birthday of...Timothy Olyphant
He may be Timothy Olyphant to most, but to Cookieface and the Lady Biest he’s simply known as Lollypants. Mmmmm-mm. If you are not familiar with this gorgeous hunk of man-actor, go watch yourself an episode of Justified. Justified, as we all know, is very loosely based on a story by the late Leonard Elmore called Fire in the Hole, so if you wish to observe the birth of this god among men, you could always start there.
May 17, 2014
May 18 is...Portland Pug Crawl
Be afraid, be very afraid...over 500 pugs will gather at the pug crawl, making it the largest pug gathering in the world. During the Parade of Pugs over 100 costumed pugs will take to the catwalk to raise money for less fortunate four-leggeds. What’s your tip for a winning pug costume?
Need some pug reading? Try A Pug’s Guide to Dating by Gemma Correll (excerpt below).
“Who knew that sniffing someone's backside in a park could be so alluring? For every pug, the road to romance is filled with dramatic highs and crashing lows. For every successful lick there's an aborted leg hump, for each whiff of a pretty posterior there is a howl lamenting unrequited adoration. In A Pug's Guide to Dating, pug lover and illustrator of the moment Gemma Correll has put together a collection of 50 charming cartoons, observing from a pug's point of view, the pitfalls facing young pugs in their quest for love.”
http://www.amazon.com/Pugs-Guide-Dating-Gemma-Correll/dp/1909313106
May 16, 2014
Lust Object: Camera Toilet Roll Holder
We ninjas are all about a little bit of wrongness. And what could be more wrong than sitting on the loo, imagining that camera toilet roll holder is actually taking photos of you doing your morning meditation?
