Rhyll Biest's Blog, page 11

May 31, 2014

Ninja Quotes

The ninjas' favourite quotes, both from both books and while splashing around in the social media play pool.

“Time flies when you’re talking lizard sex.” Ainslie Paton on Twitter.

“There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.” Terry Pratchett.

“Home is heaven & orgies are vile, but I like an orgy, once in a while.” Ogden Nash

“Every Ladyboner is well-dressed or wears a beanie.” Sandra Antonelli spruiking the Naughty Ninjas site on Twitter.

“My Lactation Consultant is a Lesbian Werewolf!” Book title seen on Twitter.

“Oh God, I just smushed my hand on the iPad and it did stuff and now I’m worried I accidentally retweeted Hitler.” Charlotte Stein.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 31, 2014 12:57

June is… The Month of the merkin!










The Month of the merkin! Celebrate by buying yourself a copy of the book A Short and Curly Craft: How to make your own merkin by Kit Darling. You can see it here.












1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 31, 2014 12:56

May 29, 2014

Lust Object: Va j-j Visor

6pack.jpg








What’s a Va j-j Visor, I hear you ask. It’s a jock cup for chicks, to “help protect all of those tender and sensitive parts that you don't want exposed during various methods of hair removal.” Hey, I’ve got an idea, leave your fuzz alone and you won’t need one. But if you must trim the hedges, get your visor here.












 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 29, 2014 16:08

May 28, 2014

Lust Object: Beanie Food Keeper










Lily "Beanie Queen" Malone loves a beanie and the minute we saw this fabulous little food keeper, we knew it had to be a part of every ninja's kitchen.

Want one? Get it here.












1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 28, 2014 16:49

May 24, 2014

Lust object: High Heel Speakers

416XrRl0kKL._SX385_.jpg








High heels... speakers... high heels... speakers... okay, it's a batshit crazy idea but they're cheaper than real heels! And they're red! And we love them!

Want them? Get them here.












 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 24, 2014 16:33

May 23, 2014

May 23 is… World Turtle Day
















Ninjas who read the Naughty Nature page and Grammar Ninjas will know all about the saucy turtle and its enormous DONG. World Turtle Day has nothing to do with enormous dongs, but if you choose to dress as a turtle to celebrate you should probably aim for anatomical correctness. Just sayin’.

Turtle reads…

The Turtle Diaries by Russell Hoban

A divorced used-book store owner, a successful writer of children’s books, each irresistibly drawn to the turtle tank at the London Zoo with a mind “full of turtle thoughts” wondering how the creatures might be freed. This one looked a real winner to us.

Turtle Island Series by Kim Law

All three titles are set on the fictional Turtle Island, and while all three books have mixed reviews, you can always engage in ‘safe reading’ (the reading equivalent of safe sex) by reading the first chapter on Amazon to see if the author’s style is your cup of turtle. Ah, tea.












 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 23, 2014 00:24

May 21, 2014

Lust Object: Viva La Utera Vulva Love Tea










Vulvalovelovely says it best:

“Down with Uterine and Breast Cancer! Long Live my Lady Parts!” Drink 2-3 cups a day to keep your lady parts in tip top shape.

 

Want it? Buy it here!












 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 21, 2014 05:41

May 19, 2014

May 20 is the birthday of...Timothy Olyphant

olyphant.jpg








He may be Timothy Olyphant to most, but to Cookieface and the Lady Biest he’s simply known as Lollypants. Mmmmm-mm. If you are not familiar with this gorgeous hunk of man-actor, go watch yourself an episode of Justified. Justified, as we all know, is very loosely based on a story by the late Leonard Elmore called Fire in the Hole, so if you wish to observe the birth of this god among men, you could always start there.

 












1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 19, 2014 05:31

May 17, 2014

May 18 is...Portland Pug Crawl










Be afraid, be very afraid...over 500 pugs will gather at the pug crawl, making it the largest pug gathering in the world. During the Parade of Pugs over 100 costumed pugs will take to the catwalk to raise money for less fortunate four-leggeds. What’s your tip for a winning pug costume?

Need some pug reading? Try A Pug’s Guide to Dating by Gemma Correll (excerpt below).

“Who knew that sniffing someone's backside in a park could be so alluring? For every pug, the road to romance is filled with dramatic highs and crashing lows. For every successful lick there's an aborted leg hump, for each whiff of a pretty posterior there is a howl lamenting unrequited adoration. In A Pug's Guide to Dating, pug lover and illustrator of the moment Gemma Correll has put together a collection of 50 charming cartoons, observing from a pug's point of view, the pitfalls facing young pugs in their quest for love.”

http://www.amazon.com/Pugs-Guide-Dating-Gemma-Correll/dp/1909313106












 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 17, 2014 16:45

May 16, 2014

Lust Object: Camera Toilet Roll Holder










We ninjas are all about a little bit of wrongness. And what could be more wrong than sitting on the loo, imagining that camera toilet roll holder is actually taking photos of you doing your morning meditation?












1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on May 16, 2014 15:53