Rhyll Biest's Blog, page 15
April 1, 2014
April is the month for...
International Pooper-scooper Week (April 1-7). US 71 million pet dogs produce over 4.4 billion pounds of waste per year, enough to cover 900 football fields with 12 inches of doggy poop. That’s a whole lotta poop to play football in, but hey, if footballers want to do that, we won’t judge. Do you scoop your poop?
March 31, 2014
Lust Object: Ferret Fart Magnet
Since it’s National Ferret Day in April, you should buy your ferret fart merchandise now. Get yours here!
March 28, 2014
March 29 is... The Day The Niagara Needed Viagra
Today is ‘Niagra Falls Runs Dry Day’. On this day in 1848, Niagra Falls, which normally pours at staggering rate of 567,811 litres of water per second, dried to nary a drop, not even a pearl of wet stuff.
Did it have a prostate problem? A shy bladder, perhaps? No, it was constipated – by enormous chunks of ice from Lake Erie. Ouch!
The cold spell, resulting in many an erect nipple, caused the frozen Niagra Falls river system to form a natural dam, blocking the flow of water to less than diddly squat.
On March 31 the river system was given a warming enema, to the tune of a balmy 16 degrees Celsius wind shift, upon which the ice broke up and normal water works resumed.
This is the only time in recorded history that Niagra has dried up, with the exception of a 1969 US Army Engineers diversion of the river for remedial work.
March 27, 2014
Winner of the March Naughty Ninja Newsletter Subscriber Prize
And the winner of our monthly newsletter subscriber prize in March is…Louise Guy. Woot!
Louise's prize is a copy of Jenn J McLeod's awesome novel House For All Seasons. Louise, we'll be in touch to send you your prize.
And if you haven't subscribed yet, whaddya waitin' for? Not only do newsletter subscribers go in the draw for monthly prizes, but they get advance notice of competitions, deals, releases and new posts. And they get all our earthy, slightly sweaty ninja love...
The link to subscribe to our monthly e-newsletter is here.
March 26, 2014
March 27 is...
On this date in 1998 the FDA approved the use of Viagra for the treatment of male impotence. Women around the world are now eagerly awaiting an FDA-approved treatment for men who are lousy in bed but hopped up on Viagra.
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March 24, 2014
Lust Object: Fuck The Rain Umbrella
Tell the weather what you think of it. Go on! And if it’s sunny? Well, what’s to stop you from unleashing this awesome umbrella on that boss of yours you want to be passive aggressive to? Maybe you want to take this fantastic item of offensiveness to your kid’s playgroup to flip off that mum that keeps making the perfect lemon slice. Yeah, screw her... and fuck the rain too.
Want one? You can get one here.
March 21, 2014
Lust Object: Voodoo Cutting Board
Ninjas need to be sneaky. Hella sneaky. And what better way to be sneaky than to double task our ninja business while cooking dinner. Smiting enemies from afar while chopping onions? Who could resist that?
Want one? You can get one here.
Georgina Missed Putting This Up On Fabio's Birthday and Is Now Having A Cry In the Corner;)
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Fabio’s Birthday
While Fabio is publicly known for his appearance on hundreds of romance novel covers, to the naughty ninjas he is simply Georgina 'Glitterpants’ Penney’s imaginary boyfriend. Read Glitterpants’ post here about her attempts to get a cardboard cut-out of Fabio into Brunei. Please leave a comment telling us how you’re going to celebrate Fabio’s birthday.
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March 16, 2014
March 17 is...
Saint Patrick's Day
Drink green beer. Eat clover until your teeth turn green. Shag a leprechaun. Shag two at a time. Leprechaun ménage—yeah, baby!
Now that you know what the Lady Biest is doing on Saint Paddy's day, tell us what you'll be doing.
Lust Object of the Day: Pin the Mr. on the Man
Why play Pin the Tail on the Donkey when you can play Pin the Mr. on the Man?
The game set supplies you with a life-size poster of an illustrated gent and a ‘hearty’ selection of penises to pin on him. BYO blindfold and then spin and pin, ladies!
Pin it square in the middle of a forehead for extra points.
