Hemant Pandey's Blog: Hemant pandey blog, page 121

My girlfriend has moved abroad for work temporarily. We hardly talk now, 2-3 texts a day. Where is the relation going?

She may be busy but if she seems uninterested, only way to get her back is to give her some space to fall. Mind thinks about one’s who are unavailable.

Stop texting
Text less than her
Wait of longer periods than her to reply. As soon as she becomes normal, slowly return to your way.
Be ready to repeat this treatment few more times.

Learn more rules of texting here

How to maintain communication with long distance lover?

You always remain in touch with your ‘love’. Love is a silent back ground music. But to reach that stage, you got be connected once in a while via social media.

I again say and people might laugh, but hand written love letters beat everything in getting the real connection. Text, mail, WA, FB,Insta etc. are instant connection tools but once in a while, may be once a month, get in touch with her via snail mail. Girls love to ruminate and they often reread the same mail, same message many , many times, and tend to draw different conclusions each time!

A letter is a thought process while message is instant reaction. We react on a message but respond in a letter. Do incorporate letters in your ‘love affair’.

Secondly, pay attention to what science says about this. It takes around 21 days to make and break habits. Please avoid (From both sides) any interval greater than 21 days , with out commuinication.

90 days changes nature. Thus 90 days is a break up sign. 6 months is the time for official divorce!

A simple ‘hi’ can bring back all the memories. But if the memories are over written by some one else in this phase, then….

Whatever , communication is assurance.

Does your girlfriend mind you wetting the bed at that age?

If she is my girl friend, then she should mind nothing.

Not even my bad lingo, my grammatical errors in writing (Yes they break up over this issue also!), my romantic nature, my moody mind, my jockey underwear’s color (This is also a main issue for breakup, you wear red…shit..shit..I want to talk!) and whatever.

Love is love. If she still cares for all this shit, then she is quite immature. better change her.

Life is not perfect. Every one has imperfections.She has to love you and total you and not a projected you!

PS : I don’t wear red though.

How do I control myself from getting intimate with my girlfriend who sees a future with me but I am not sure of it?

You are not sure. Tell her. Straight. Don’t lead her into a false premise.

You love, you love or you let go. Don’t linger and use her. Its crime. Pick your phone and call her now and tell her straight on her face. Be a man.

What are the things that you cannot stand with your girlfriend or boyfriend?

Except infidelity, every thing.

People cheat because it is inbuilt in their mind. Any one who cannot control their urge for some time i snot worth living for long time. Let me explain (Assumption).

If my girl friend is not okay with me chatting with other girls, sending and accepting friend requests to other chicks, I also expect the same from her. If she is okay with me doing that, I am fine with her doing whatever she grant me. Its mutual. If you think that you don’t cheat when you like pics of another hot guy on your Instagram feed or your recently added friends show some of the guys and its not an issue, then you should also grant me that privilege. Love is trust and trust is mutual.
You are not what you show to me but what you do behind me!. No wonder why all hackers are boys and that too teens!. Its very easy for a girl to cheat (Specially the sexy and hot one’s). Just give a nod and guys(read dogs) are ready for that cheeky bite!. Boys have to earn a girlfriend but girls can often do it with an invitation only. There is a catch also. Girls can get boys but not the boy they wish!. Its equally difficult for them to attract the right guy!
Girls usually cheat on whats app or snap chat.These two application have nothing saved on server and are relatively safe (I am not hinting future cheaters). Hence if your girl is online on WA but not with you often…You better find ‘some one’ else. Girls usually don’t chat with their girl friends but talk to them on phone.
The remedy is to imitate them. My rule, If my girl cheats, I will also do the same.If she is ‘exclusive’, I shall remain the same.This saves a lot of effort.

Every thing else can be amended but not the basic nature of any one.Cheater will cheat, a flirt will flirt etc..

Trust is god. Make sure you ‘god’ is trust worthy!

What are some excuses to make in front of girlfriend for forgetting her birthday?

My favorite

Who remembers your birth day…You never go old!
Birth day! Are you sure you were not fallen from heaven…Oops I have been misinformed…!
I didn’t forgot your birth day but jaan, I just couldn’t use my brain in front of you…I go blank…!
You never look older to me…You are sixteen since you were sixteen…!
Do I have to remember your birth day in reverse chronological order also…You are aging down…!
I remember only my birth day…the day I met you…!
Okay so you were born of Feb 28,but my reminder said Fab 28…oops error of signs!
For Jan , use Jaan 28 or for March used Marv(elous) 28, etc.
I forget to breathe when I see you and you are asking about damn birth day…!

What should I do if my girlfriend’s family doesn’t like me and there are lots of family issues? Should I leave my girlfriend or keep trying to change things?

If she is your time pass girl friend then you can leave her .

If you love her , then you can’t leave her ! Love is not an on or off switch. If I can switch off my love or my lover can, then there was no love in the first place.

If you found your soul mate, then you can’t even think this question! Just thought of leaving will kill you!

Love must combat all odds else it was just lust.

1.5k Views · 

What should I do if my girlfriend’s family doesn’t like me and there are lots of family issues? Should I leave my girlfriend or keep trying to change things?

How long it takes to move on after break up?

Let us construct a timeline.

Mood off : Usually two to 10 days.

Not doing any thing great.
Reduced social media activity.
Shave less face, gloomy eyes,lack of interest in womanhood and hatred for all look alike girls.
Every body is a cheater and they all are after money/looks/fame/misc mental bashing.


Self realisation : 10 to 20 days.

Girls are not every thing.
Bus train our ladki dialogue rehearshal in mind.







Start to eye for some other ‘not like her’ girls (Again mistaking, they all are same!).
Mind diversion in writing, work out, new dress, new hair cut, ‘get a life dude’ mentality.


Patch up attempts from both sides :21 to 30 days

Ego touches roof top if she texts or calls and rock bottom if you call and she doesn’t reply.For no reply these thoughts
She must have found some one else.
She was like that only.
She always use to flirt with that bloody ‘Aakash’. He was always her favourite. She was just using me for validation. Such a whore. etc. etc.
Destruction begins of all her belongings, pics, blocking over whatsapp, FB,Insta,cell phone and every where possible.Fuck her, I will get better than her thoughts start coming. What does she think of herself. That ‘Aakash’ will also fuck her and leave her at that ‘Nariman point’.Many other names also start coming to mind.She looks like the ‘best whore’ in the town with cheapest price tag!
If she replies: Then usual nice thoughts start coming back. She was nice yaar, just a small misunderstanding,she loves me, I will not get a girl like her again. Lets patch up!. Remembers all her nice deeds. her smile,her sexy voice and that cute little ‘love note’ which you still carry in your wallet, becomes priceless!


Patch up attempt failed : 1 month to 3 month : Slowly you faith in humanity is restored by some either ‘nice smile’  or you become a player to take revenge from all ‘women’ or you lose interest in love at all and focus on your core job or study. Some become writers, others become health freaks, some become very successful in life, so that she always has hard feelings (Very common for ‘nice guys’).’Care free one’ don’t care after this three month window. Robert frost learnt this way back

In short, this is just a 90 day routine . This too shall pass.

How do I deal with the girlfriend who gives more personal freedom to her best male friend?

Love respects personal freedom and yes she must have it. But love is also sacrifice and a lot of compromise. If you don’t like  then you don’t like!

If she can’t stop doing a simple thing for you, then will she ever stand by you and for you ?

You can either tell her to stop doing what you genuinely not like or else start flirting with other girls in front of her. It depends on nature of girl also. Is she really nice and don’t talk to any of the guys or just only this guy.If she is over friendly with every one then its not a problem.If she is selectively friendly then she has to limit her behavior.

There are decorum in every relationship. Every one must follow it. Since love is two shallow now a days, one has to limit one’s exposure to situations which can trigger pipe line love!

What are some psychology tricks to calm down angry partners?

Time and silence are two time tested weapons which never fail.

Silence : Not only your girl/boy friend, to calm down any one, give them time to introspect and you remain silent in the said period.I call this three day cool off period.

We are rational human beings with irrational bouts of emotions. We often destroy the relationship by giving them additional inputs while some body is angry.This is just like adding fuel to fire.This leads to misunderstandings, fights and trauma.

Angry person is never rational. Ask any one who had breakup during a fight.They always regret.

Speech is silver but silence is golden.

Point 2 : Time is greatest healer. It heals every thing even broken heart except broken trust. We have positivity bias inbuilt with in ourselves. We tend to forget the negative details over time.