Amy Mah's Blog, page 48

It is Gods will and Good for a Girl to Wear a Burqa

Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire

It is Gods will and Good for a Girl to Wear a Burqa and if you have a body that needs to wear Drop Crotch Trousers then please do us all a favor and hide it in the Burqa black sack! Now !!!!

Have you seen this new fashion ………DROP CRUTCH TROUSERS FOR GIRLS ….. And they are UGLY !!!!!! 



http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/trousers/drop-crotch-trousers_217603961?extcam=FBA_2011_FAC_FED_002&tmcampid=94&tmad=c&tmplaceref=FBA_2011_FAC_FED_002



Guys would be more turned on by you wearing a Niqab and dark glasses before seeing you in one of these !



As I said before .............Trust me I am a Vampire ……………….. if this is your body shape then a Burqa is what you need:

For the Good of society please cover yourself up ......and now!

This is How to make a Burqa :....................

The burqa is a facial garment worn by women of some Islamic traditions. It may cover the entire body (where normal clothing is worn underneath), the whole face or worn around the face. In stricter traditions, women must wear it whenever they go out in public, and only remove it when they are in their own households. More liberal traditions allow women to wear it similar to a hood, where the face is fully shown. This article will guide you on how to make such a garment.o                                1 Cut your selected material to one of two lengths: 28 inches wide by 60 inches, or 28 inches by 78 inches. You may cut this yourself with fabric scissors or have it cut at a fabric store.o                                2 Sew the edges of your fabric. You may do this by hand, but it is recommended that you use a sewing machine. This will seal the edges of the burqa so that it does not fray or unravel.o                                3 Place the fabric over your head, with one side longer (about 30 percent) than the other. Pin the fabric under your chin. Place the longer side over your other shoulder.o                                4 Take the length you placed over your shoulder and put it up against (or even above) your ear. Pin this length behind your head, tight enough so that it does not loosen during normal movement.o                                5 The extra length hanging behind your head is up to you to style. You may keep it there to hang or wrap it around your neck. You may also drape it over your shoulder.



 



Drop Crotch Trousers

We come in peace (SHOOT TO KILL)

We come in peace (SHOOT TO KILL)



I have just sorted out all the problems with Libya …………… now aren't I a clever girl



……… it was so simple I just informed Israel that the Libya people are really the lost tribe of Israel …… and I have asked them to send a peace keeping force to Libya.



And I can guarantee that as soon as they arrive Libyans will no longer be fighting each other.



Now wasn't that easy



………….  I also said they could pick out a Libyan city for themselves to keep and ………….



Er ……….. No… I don't see any problems of having a Jewish city in a muslin area…….. look it didn't cause any problems with Jerusalem did it?!





It is so simple if you read the holy books as both religion have god saying Thou shalt not kill…………….so what could go wrong.





After this I plan to suggest that Afghanistan would make a nice holiday retreat for Jewish politicians ………………  of course they can take there security guards with them  ………but they should not need them as they are very religious there and if so  can not kill or they will not go to Heaven.

     

Ho God I am Coming !

Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire    When the High council asked me to study you overgrown monkeys they did not warn me about how crazy you all are ……….. I mean to say we try our best and cull out as many as we can but heck do you breed fast !! look give us a chance will you, can't you just stop having sex for one day !  I found another thing to get my teeth into today and it is called Rapture ………….. I even have some film clips for you. So did this Rapture Thingy start in middle America?  It sounds very must like star trek sparkling lights and you are onboard a space ship ………………. Ho crap that sounds more like those weird scientologists………….   Am I allowed to say weird scientologists?  Do I have to follow on and say in my opinion or the such like er…..never know with today's laws ………..er……….. ok in my humble opinion and with out criticism I would like to put my point my view on your religious beliefs as   ……………………. ARE YOU ALL STARK STAREING MAD ?      …………  what drugs do you give out at your meetings ………… by the Gods above you must be a lot of Lunatics !!!!!!!!!!!!!! …………….      Not that I have anything against lunatics ………  No……… Rapture is more main stream christian ……..day of judgement and that sort of thing …….great beast 666 etc etc……I think Rapture is a form of Kidnapping and so should be banned by the other deities ……….. please no one tell the scietoggists about the Rapture or they will go one better and issue tickets for a spaceship ride to heaven.





Well it is just the way it is going to happen that gets me ………. just think if Rapture happens in the way they say it will then it will cause deaths of many innocent women and Children      ................ a few sparkling lights and a voice over saying  BEAM ME UP GOD all over the world at the same time.   People driving cars ……operation on people hospital……………. Flying aircraft ……………. having sex……………… now that will put a different meaning to the words   ……..Ho God I am Coming  !!!!  ……….   God is calling the saved ones around the world and getting some back chat: ………………. Ho god please can you wait just another 5 min I have only just got her panties off…………….      ………………..But Fido goes everywhere with me…………….. its alright he is house trained ………….. ………………..Can I make a phone call first …………… want I to phone a Scientologist and laght ……………    well perhaps god will let they people have that last request. Yes vanishing in a poof ……….. Well that sort of thing could kill millions of innocent people ……………. Ok so not the purest of the pure of course as they will be the ones going ………….but think of all the poor scientologist out selling  spaceship tickets that will have space shuttle drop on them!    Ok Ok ……now try and think of something that does not make you laugh! So if evil can be caused by a good act is the act not now evil? Would people being killed this way be an act of an evil god?





Do you rearly wish to be kidnapped / rescued by an evil God?





Left Behind ~ Trailerhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7h2LtAG3Mkw









Left Behind: The Movie - Raptured!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXRrVrkFYlo&feature=related



The Rapture



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjjn4Ktc9gc

A Girls Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff

A Girls Guide to Guys: Meeting Them, Managing Them and All That Love Stuff



Gabby's blog http://gabby-guides.blogspot.com/ The unknown world of boys has been a problem that has plagued girl-kind for many a century.

Something different today my publisher has asked me to tell you all about what to do with a guy as if I need to tell you that !!!!!

What do you say to them? Which ones should you avoid? And what is going on in that little brain of theirs when they look at you? If only they came with a manual or something...



Well now they do! A lovely step by step guide that's split into easy stages, taking you from finding the right kind of boy for you right up to ending a relationship and starting all over again.







Wave goodbye to worrying about what kind of shoes to wear for a date or how to make the first move; it has all been covered. But how do you use this brilliant little tool? Well, if you want you can read through each chapter and follow the advice you find in it step by step.



But there's also a handy content list at the beginning of each stage so you can skip to any section you want to read about.



Keep a look out for sections called friends; these bits are dedicated to how to keep the balance between boyfriends and girlfriends. Also included is Outfits for all occasions, your very own boutique complete with personal stylist to make sure you get your right look every time. To begin with it would help if we found out a little bit more about those strange creatures we call boys. They can be a bit tricky to understand so it's best to liken them to something most girls know a little bit more about. Like shoes.





Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt.





There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. Like shoe shopping, you need to get to know what's out there before you make your final purchase. Your first task, should you choose to accept it, is one of girl kind's most notable hobbies...with a twist...boy shopping!





To make things even easier, included here is the very first boy catalogue giving you an extensive look into all the boys on the market. Good luck and happy shopping!

How to invest in Prostitution and sell guns to drug dealers

 

Well i have said it before and I will say it again ................. as a teenage blood drinking denizen of the night …….. aka..a VAMPIRE………………….i did not realise how sane and normal i was before I joined FaceBook and had a look around.............. the crazy stuff going on in parts of FB will keep my blogs going for years .......... crazy !!!

……   .in fact all you humans are so odd you should be born in straight jackets ……………… don't worry about Clowns taking over the world that already have!!!!

Clowns? Well I see from what a friend has sent me that I have to send a warning to ten friends that Clowns are plotting to take over the world .........well at least it make a change from all the others I am told will be taking over the world ............... like the meek will take over the world............er............if that is ok with the rest of you ...........

Its one of these chain warning letter with a threat that not sending it on will mean I will wake up at 3am with a clown in my bed holding a chain saw in one hand……………..

A chain saw? ……….his dick yes ……………..but a chainsaw????????  …………………….. look unlike the movies you have to hold a chainsaw with two hands not one

…………………. Think about it !!!..............they now come with double safety triggers ……………………. Like let go and it stops ………….. this stops manufacturers being sued by people dropping them and having their legs cut off.Look am I the only one here that knows how to massacre groups of teenagers with a chain saw……………… huh……… didn't you all learn anything at High School?

Now waking up to a  clown in bed with me and rubbing greasepaint over my body.........er............... so you now know of my taste in boyfriends do you?  ……..well it would be more interesting than him just laying there snoring ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



Just to prove I don't make this stuff up this is what was sent to me on facebook:





A few years ago, two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the fathersaid,"Take the kids and get out of the house. We'll call thepolice, we don't have a clown statue." The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail.(true... story) If you don't post this letter on to 10 pages tonight, theclown will be in your bed at 3:00 am with a chainsaw in his hand..

What about Horror movies? ………………. What is the one called where if you watch a Death Video a hideous little girl craws out of a well at nigth and kills you 7 days later.



Am I worried …………….. like heck ……….. hah ………I will be the one that would drop that little homicidal well living freak in deep **** as I would put the whole video on YouTube ……….



Now lets see the bitch kill 50,000 people at the same time around the world across 24 times zones ……………….



Still thinking about things on my wish list

When I became rich and famous I will need to invest my hard earned cash so I will need a an adviser and…………..



Look Why should I be the conscious of the world ...............



I have seen how the world works and know just what to invest my money in……….



1.    WEAPONS ……………… why should it be only governments that make money by selling WMD to dictators around the world …………. Sulk………



2. DRUGS ………………… think of all the poor drug dealers it would put out of business if we stopped the trade and besides they will need arming so making me more money on clause 1. selling of weapons



3.  whats left?..........PROSTITUTION ……….. wow guaranteed money making business if I have ever seen one like in 2000 years name me one Whorehouse that has gone bankrupt!!!!



now where can you find that sort of help on the Internet when you need it.

Changing the subject did you know I am the first person to put a disclaimer on my Facebook account ……… what do you think?

DisclaimerIf any of my remarks or blogs causes offence then this is due not to me but you having me on your friend list, if you are not offended now but fear you may be in the future please take proactive action now and remove your link to me.

Removal from you friends list will be the best way to stop receiving my blogs, comments, and communication be it via message, chat or wall, failure to remove me as a link will be taken as permission to contact you by the above means and point out the world as I see it, along with strong hints that you should buy my book.

From my blogs and wall talk it will be obvious that I discuss politics, human behaviour, social drugs and current mythology.

(Translation? Huh .. politics, race and religion )

If you do not heed this warning to remove me after this warning and are offended then I will take it that you wish to be offended.

Amy Mah



























Just to prove I dont make this stuff up this is what was sent to me on facebook:



A few years ago, two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the fathersaid,"Take the kids and get out of the house. We'll call thepolice, we don't have a clown statue." The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail.(true... story) If you don't post this letter on to 10 pages tonight, theclown will be in your bed at 3:00 am with a chainsaw in his hand..

How to invest in Prostitution and other investments

 

Well i have said it before and I will say it again ................. as a teenage blood drinking denizen of the night …….. aka..a VAMPIRE………………….i did not realise how sane and normal i was before I joined FaceBook and had a look around.............. the crazy stuff going on in parts of FB will keep my blogs going for years .......... crazy !!!

……   .in fact all you humans are so odd you should be born in straight jackets ……………… don't worry about Clowns taking over the world that already have!!!!

Clowns? Well I see from what a friend has sent me that I have to send a warning to ten friends that Clowns are plotting to take over the world .........well at least it make a change from all the others I am told will be taking over the world ............... like the meek will take over the world............er............if that is ok with the rest of you ...........

Its one of these chain warning letter with a threat that not sending it on will mean I will wake up at 3am with a clown in my bed holding a chain saw in one hand……………..

A chain saw? ……….his dick yes ……………..but a chainsaw????????  …………………….. look unlike the movies you have to hold a chainsaw with two hands not one

…………………. Think about it !!!..............they now come with double safety triggers ……………………. Like let go and it stops ………….. this stops manufacturers being sued by people dropping them and having their legs cut off.Look am I the only one here that knows how to massacre groups of teenagers with a chain saw……………… huh……… didn't you all learn anything at High School?

Now waking up to a  clown in bed with me and rubbing greasepaint over my body.........er............... so you now know of my taste in boyfriends do you?  ……..well it would be more interesting than him just laying there snoring ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



Horror movies? ………………. What is the one called where if you watch a Death Video a hideous little girl craws out of a well at nigth and kills you 7 days later.



Am I worried …………….. like heck ……….. hah ………I will be the one that would drop that little homicidal well living freak in deep **** as I would put the whole video on YouTube ……….



Now lets see the bitch kill 50,000 people at the same time around the world across 24 times zones ……………….



Still thinking about things on my wish list

When I became rich and famous I will need to invest my hard earned cash so I will need a an adviser and…………..



Look Why should I be the conscious of the world ...............



I have seen how the world works and know just what to invest my money in……….



1.    WEAPONS ……………… why should it be only governments that make money by selling WMD to dictators around the world …………. Sulk………



2. DRUGS ………………… think of all the poor drug dealers it would put out of business if we stopped the trade and besides they will need arming so making me more money on clause 1. selling of weapons



3.  whats left?..........PROSTITUTION ……….. wow guaranteed money making business if I have ever seen one like in 2000 years name me one Whorehouse that has gone bankrupt!!!!



now where can you find that sort of help on the Internet when you need it.

Changing the subject did you know I am the first person to put a disclaimer on my Facebook account ……… what do you think?

DisclaimerIf any of my remarks or blogs causes offence then this is due not to me but you having me on your friend list, if you are not offended now but fear you may be in the future please take proactive action now and remove your link to me.

Removal from you friends list will be the best way to stop receiving my blogs, comments, and communication be it via message, chat or wall, failure to remove me as a link will be taken as permission to contact you by the above means and point out the world as I see it, along with strong hints that you should buy my book.

From my blogs and wall talk it will be obvious that I discuss politics, human behaviour, social drugs and current mythology.

(Translation? Huh .. politics, race and religion )

If you do not heed this warning to remove me after this warning and are offended then I will take it that you wish to be offended.

Amy Mah

From the sexy sound of a blade cutting though the air ...... to the dripping of the blood

Apart from being a vampire I think out of the things I do to worry people is …….well how I answer interview questions …………..

Ever since my book has come out I have been interviewed by lots of different humans and heck I was not told that I should lie!

I am sure people have been taking Twilight too seriously and so being too honest can get a strange look or two from the interviewer. Yes, blood is best served fresh and warm preferably from its human contained ………..

Just why are they shocked by my answers …………

Don't these people go to the movies?Look if you are doing an author interview it may be best not to be so surprised when theyanswer your questions ………….. I do try and keep it nice and warm and cuddly ……….. but heck I am a vampire just who do you think you are interviewing the tooth fairy? ………I know I can worry people when they ask: So as teenage vampire author please tell our readers the sort of things you like ........................... Ok, ok, So I should say Chocolate and Cats which is true as I do … …….but sometimes I tend to give away a little too much personal stuff…….. ………and I say things like:The sound a blade makes as it cuts the air, so nice er…. Like silk……… sigh……….. (well ask someone who uses a blade they will explain it to you …………… but it is a nice and sexy sound)

Then there is the feel of a well balanced blade in your hand, as it becomes part of your body as you turn and spin ……….

By the way it is wrist and finger control which  gives one the little playful moves.

did you know you can always test someone who says they can use a samurai sword by asking what noise in makes when returning to its sheath................ ...................... but I do not know how it makes the sound...... can anyone tell me that?

Ho well get ready for the next interview and hopefully this time I will remember when they ask if I had a wish what would it be I should say I wish for world peace …..er…….and not what I said last time ……………..

Well how was I to know that saying how about a nice big bag of Blood Diamonds would upset so many people ………such a nice colourful name ………… ok I will have rubies instead …………  

How to explain to your kids they are a product from having Sex with a Dog

Today I am going to talk about Furries…………. People that dress up in animal costumes ……………. They say it is to let the inner animal inside of everyone freedom to express themselves in todays world.Don't get me wrong it sounds fun to get a padded bra and to dress up in a sexy cat suit ……….but well ………………I had not thought about adding a large cats head to it …………….. going to conventions is also ok but having sex dressed as a animal ……………….. it has sooooooooooooooo never crossed my mind …………….. HMG .........i have just discovered all this stuff via Youtube on the world of furries .............. see i said you humans were ....er...........an interesting sort of animal to study ............. as I have said before being a teenage vampire I am the sanest one around here ................It is all over the place and I have never heard of it before !!!Look it is true I have never heard of this furrie stuff !! shit I so innicent at times ............ people do it wearing a fur costum? ................. like going all the way while dressed as a cat........................... now I like cats ………… but well not in that way! Now dont you ever .............. ever complain about my blogs being far fetched ...................I agree wearing black undies is sexy .................. but over a fur suit !?!Sex …….full sex in fur !!!For it to work you must be naked under the fur and have openings in intermate places ......................buttoned? zipped or just open to give your private places some fresh air …….well a fur suit must get hot and it would look rude to start scrating down there due to the heat…….. even dressed as a dog……….. does the fur costume have pockets? .......if not where does the guy keep the condoms? ..........Well do you wish to explain to your kids the reason you dont know who their father is because all you know is his name is FIDO from his collar disc, has pointed ears, soft brown fur you just liked the way he sniffed your butt at a party and took you doggy style giving out a very loud howl of pleasure.Mind you it could be the reason your kids always have nice cold noses and get plenty of exercise by chasing the naubouhood cat.  

I think I will just stay being a vampire thank you.



·                                    

Chrher Judge learns about furriesistop.

Why as a girl you cant Answer the phone naked with out it being a sex chat line?

A Vampire naked sex chat line……… .yes …nude ….starkers……bare…. unclothed I was chatting away to a friend on FB today saying that I was naked and just going to take a shower……..yes I do chat in the nude.......... soooooooooo well why not?………….. and no I don't have a video cam ……pervert!!!!

And I got to thinking ……………. Yes I can do that in the shower ………. It is called multi tasking ………. Now will you stop thinking of my naked body all covered in soap and pay attention ……… ok!

I need to make some money to publicize my book and well why not do a vampire sex line? ……….. Well it would be different …………. Other female vampires give out cards offering bondage and biting services ………….. Yes human males pay to be tied up and bitten ………perverts yes but perverts with money…….. …. So it goes down on the health insurance as special medical needs………..and now don't you every say anything about me just chatting in the nude……..

So how about it a vampire sex line………..can't be hard to do as long as you don't mind the heavy breathing ……….

Er………one ..problem ….er……..like no one has ever told me what a sex line does? …………. Well I am not going to phone one up and ask am I !!!!!

So a customer phones my vampire sex line:

What do I talk about? ………….. er……..yes I am a vampire now please pay an extra 10 dollars per question…………… and as to questions like please touch your boobs for me………. Er……...why ………. Like I have had them since puberty and well the novelty kind of wears off after a few years …………. And unless it is cold they don't do really do much on their own……………..

OK back to the customer………. What am I wearing ………er………ok another $10 ……………… a pair of very brief very sexy red panties with a little cute bow on the front in pink……………. What else? ……..well they are on special offer at the moment from Wal-Mart at 9.99 a pack of three………a real bargain…….  But you have to wash them separately as the colour comes out …………… and like everything in the wash like comes out pink ……………..

Too much information …er…….sorry ok but I am new ok at this………………..I have a big thick sweat shirt with bats on? ….er..not interested ..ok….. they are pink bats!....still not interested …er………..

Drinks yes ok drinks……..i am drinking ……… and it is in a sexy way ………… the mug ever has a pink bat on it…………… why a mug? …….well it is hot chocolate and it also has a bat on it………..and the bat changes colour depending if the drink is hot or cold……….can't you tell from the way I have a ring of chocolate around my lips ……..er……………yes …….no …….video cam ….sorry.

No video cam ………..Well then you won't worry about the face mask I have on then will you…………. Er……….it a grey face mask …...well apart from where the chocolate has stained around my lips…..

What's my body look like you ask?……….er…….well kinda normal …….. You know boobs and such like ….hell didn't you do biology at school? ………. Don't you remember the picture in first grade biology……………. No the hairy one was a cartoon of Darwin……………..  well it is similar..er.ish ………hell if you are old enough to phone a sex line you are old enough to just do a google search on a female body without spending $10 asking me!

Ermmmmm?   What ?..........sorry I was not listening ……….well I was just answering an email ……….yes it was important !  …………. If you must know the cat had 4 kittens three black and one ginger ………… no I don't know how come one was ginger …

………. Good god what the hell do you what me to tell you about the sex life of cats for just £10 a question!

Yes my voice does sound odd  when I shout…..…….well I have a stinking cold………. And well it is now dripping ………….which is your fault as if you had not phoned me I would have gone out and got some tissues……………..

Yes thank you ………….I am sure it will get better soon…………….. I just wish my stomach would………hmg I never going to touch shell fish again …….hell ........two days now and I have only just got off the toilet ……….

Hello ….hello ……………. ?

Now where did he go? ………and he had at least 5 dollars of credit left …..you humans are so odd……………

Amy Mah and the small print in being rewarded in the after life with 100 virgins

Amy Mah and the small print in being rewarded in the after life with 100 virgins

Ok Ok I should own up it is only fair I tell you poor creatures the truth; and that is with these blogs I am studying you.

Yes I am analyzing how you react to them when I point out your strange behavior patterns, which I will analyze and do a report for my lords and masters on the vampire high council.

It is all for a good cause as the Vampire high council like to keep a loving and caring control of such a tasty food supply as humans, and it is so strange that you think of us a monsters when we spend most of the time trying to stop you killing yourself off ……………. Think of it as owning a food shop where the food is suicidal ………… bread rolls throwing themselves under a passing shopping trolly ……. That sort of thing………..You are such hard work at times!    

As a normal young vampire girl I do get some strange comments at times from my readers, which I must warn you are passed to a higher order………….. er………well to my cat Tarqin and my Aunt mostly ……….. but ……….it is all being logged for the high council to read in the future.

Such as:

The Christian Mothers group which informed me that I was the child of the Devil are wrong as I asked my Aunt and she explained how a Mom and Dad that really love each other get married and then they ………….. ick……… well it must have been like only the once as I have no brothers or sisters …………… 

Then the hate mail saying I hate Muslins………… er………….you are just food why should I hate you?   it is like saying you hate chocolate because of the colour wrapper…………. I know being humans you are very slow at times but you must see the films! You are walking snacks !!!

I may point out some of your ideas are a little ….er……..inventive at times but you should not take this as criticism as I do not care that you can look forward to having as many virgins as you like in this life you are still just a snack bag of blood to me…………..

I have it on very good advice that it is quite true that what ever religion you are if you kill yourself as a martyr by blowing up inicent women and children you will be rewarded after death with 100 sex starved virgins to spend your eternal time in paradise with                 

………… er……….. this is all true as I said  …….. but did you read the small print? ……..

The 100 sex staved virgins are all MALE and you will spend eternity as a GIRL tending to their needs  ……hehehehehehe……… have fun………..

If you are looking for a religion I have found someone to help you take a look: