Amy Mah's Blog, page 52
February 9, 2011
Girls should tell guys that Size does mater
Girls should tell guys that Size does mater
We vampire girls are similar to human girls in that when looking for a life time mate we go for the standard normal things that girl would want:
1….. Rich
2……Hung like a horse
3……Good Teeth
Wealth? ………. Well we are long lived and once married we will never work again yet we still expect to be covered in gold and gems……………so he needs to be rich or we will have to kill him and move on.
As to size …………….. lol …………. We almost wet ourselves when we hear human girls lie to human guys when they tell them size does not mater!!!!
Of course size maters! ………….. if he is not well endowered then your girlfriends will laugh at you …..and your parents will worry that you are turning into a lesbian!
Yes a male vampire with small fangs is a pitiable sight and normally gets killed for having girly teeth! Imagine having children by a male with fangs not at least 50% larger than yours ………….. yuk ………. People will think you are perverted! Or something is wrong with you that you could not catch a real male………. Besides that your family will disown you!.................
……………Er …………
………..When I was talking about males and size you thought I was talking about his boy dangly bits didn't you? ………..you have such dirty minds and besides I already said he had to be hung like a horse didn't I?
We vampire girls are similar to human girls in that when looking for a life time mate we go for the standard normal things that girl would want:
1….. Rich
2……Hung like a horse
3……Good Teeth
Wealth? ………. Well we are long lived and once married we will never work again yet we still expect to be covered in gold and gems……………so he needs to be rich or we will have to kill him and move on.
As to size …………….. lol …………. We almost wet ourselves when we hear human girls lie to human guys when they tell them size does not mater!!!!
Of course size maters! ………….. if he is not well endowered then your girlfriends will laugh at you …..and your parents will worry that you are turning into a lesbian!
Yes a male vampire with small fangs is a pitiable sight and normally gets killed for having girly teeth! Imagine having children by a male with fangs not at least 50% larger than yours ………….. yuk ………. People will think you are perverted! Or something is wrong with you that you could not catch a real male………. Besides that your family will disown you!.................
……………Er …………
………..When I was talking about males and size you thought I was talking about his boy dangly bits didn't you? ………..you have such dirty minds and besides I already said he had to be hung like a horse didn't I?
February 7, 2011
Year of the Rabbit 2011
Year of the Rabbit 2011
HAPPY NEW YEAR
At last I can eat real food ……………. Wow………..fresh 2011 rabbit….
Lots of stuff that is only about at New Year …………. To make a change from just blood………………
Er………………………… did I say its new year? …………….. yes I did……….. look I'm a unmarried female where are my red packets?...............
You should know it is lucking to give a red packet New Year gift to an unmarried girl.
Where I am concerned very lucky as it may stop me biting you!
My publisher gave me a nice present …………….. Two new domain names
Amymah.com
&
AmyMahVampire.com
So I am now a famous author with her own personal name as a domain ……wow……..
My year of birth? …………… why it's the year of the vampire bat !............ I know you guessed
HAPPY NEW YEAR
At last I can eat real food ……………. Wow………..fresh 2011 rabbit….
Lots of stuff that is only about at New Year …………. To make a change from just blood………………
Er………………………… did I say its new year? …………….. yes I did……….. look I'm a unmarried female where are my red packets?...............
You should know it is lucking to give a red packet New Year gift to an unmarried girl.
Where I am concerned very lucky as it may stop me biting you!
My publisher gave me a nice present …………….. Two new domain names
Amymah.com
&
AmyMahVampire.com
So I am now a famous author with her own personal name as a domain ……wow……..
My year of birth? …………… why it's the year of the vampire bat !............ I know you guessed
February 2, 2011
Male vampires wanting to have sex with a sandwich!
The problem with humans is that they all look alike …I'm sorry but they do, now I am lucky in that I have lived with humans so can spot the little differences …..er like skin colour …………. And number of legs …..er…………. perhaps that is with werewolves …………. Anyway there are differences.
It is so easy with us Vampires as like werewolves we can smell all we need to know in seconds from 100 feet down wind.
Male of Female ………....who the Female belongs to and if the Female is near to coming on heat…………… if a Male is fertile and if he already has the scent of a mate on him … ……… …what nest they belong to……… ………….How strong they are ………. .
All just normal stuff which I just can not understand how humans can survive without.
A Male knows that if he has the scent of another Female on him ……..which of course he has every right to have ……….. He is in his full rights to have sex with as many Females that with let him……………………
it is just that if he has the scent of another Female on him when he comes to you in the night……… which of course as he again has every right to do ………
well when of even if he wakes up in the morning he may discover his breeding days are permanently over due to the fact that all the sex made you very hungry in the night and bite something off as a snack………….. Just by accident you understand ……………… and well every Male Vampire knows that it is never a good idea to turn over and go to sleep leaving a Female still hungry ……………………
I sometimes think this is the only reason why Male vampires want to sleep with human girls…………….. …. Well I think it is just perverted for a Male vampire to want to have sex with his lunch! ………it is just so yuk ………… it is like a human wanting to have sex with a sandwich!
It is so easy with us Vampires as like werewolves we can smell all we need to know in seconds from 100 feet down wind.
Male of Female ………....who the Female belongs to and if the Female is near to coming on heat…………… if a Male is fertile and if he already has the scent of a mate on him … ……… …what nest they belong to……… ………….How strong they are ………. .
All just normal stuff which I just can not understand how humans can survive without.
A Male knows that if he has the scent of another Female on him ……..which of course he has every right to have ……….. He is in his full rights to have sex with as many Females that with let him……………………
it is just that if he has the scent of another Female on him when he comes to you in the night……… which of course as he again has every right to do ………
well when of even if he wakes up in the morning he may discover his breeding days are permanently over due to the fact that all the sex made you very hungry in the night and bite something off as a snack………….. Just by accident you understand ……………… and well every Male Vampire knows that it is never a good idea to turn over and go to sleep leaving a Female still hungry ……………………
I sometimes think this is the only reason why Male vampires want to sleep with human girls…………….. …. Well I think it is just perverted for a Male vampire to want to have sex with his lunch! ………it is just so yuk ………… it is like a human wanting to have sex with a sandwich!
January 30, 2011
gender equity...racism and slavery in the modern world by Amy Mah Vampire
I have been asked about my thoughts of things like:
Gender Equity,Racism& Slavery in the Modern world
Yes like where are the easy questions like what is my favourite flavour ice-cream?
Gender Equity,So starting off do I believe in gender equality….er………. NO that is silly I am a traditional brought up girl and I know that girls should know their place in the world ………..well it is so obvious we superior ……..why would we ever want equity !
RacismNow this one is difficult……………. So lets look at the facts as my human camouflage is not white then looking at the rules of racism I couldn't be racist……… well only white people can be racist cant they? ………….. Well that's what the TV tells us.
Heck….well face it I am not even the same specie! ………. and it does not matter what colour you humans are you are still a bunch of over achieving monkeys that should go back to the trees
Slavery in the Modern worldWell of course I am not in favour ………er…………..in theory ………. Well our turned human vampire undead vampire maids are not slaves! No they …er…… ..are . .er savants ……….er………. no we do not pay them……..they work us forever 24/7 ….365 ………and if they refuse ………well …………. Why would they do that? We would just kill them if they did ……..but that is normal ……….we are more powerful so of course we know what is best for them……….. Look ..yes it is normal ………….just look at the human world if you don't believe me……… Look at government foreign policy and using 3rd world countries for cheap labour.
At least with our maids we feed them (Er….well you do in fact) clothe them and give them a reason for life ……..er ……….unlife ..I think you should thank us for the care we take of them! ……..ok one more word about it and I will bite you .......ok?
Book Trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM6qG0P_ISA
Vampire Blog:http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/
Website:http://www.fangsrule.com
Gender Equity,Racism& Slavery in the Modern world
Yes like where are the easy questions like what is my favourite flavour ice-cream?
Gender Equity,So starting off do I believe in gender equality….er………. NO that is silly I am a traditional brought up girl and I know that girls should know their place in the world ………..well it is so obvious we superior ……..why would we ever want equity !
RacismNow this one is difficult……………. So lets look at the facts as my human camouflage is not white then looking at the rules of racism I couldn't be racist……… well only white people can be racist cant they? ………….. Well that's what the TV tells us.
Heck….well face it I am not even the same specie! ………. and it does not matter what colour you humans are you are still a bunch of over achieving monkeys that should go back to the trees
Slavery in the Modern worldWell of course I am not in favour ………er…………..in theory ………. Well our turned human vampire undead vampire maids are not slaves! No they …er…… ..are . .er savants ……….er………. no we do not pay them……..they work us forever 24/7 ….365 ………and if they refuse ………well …………. Why would they do that? We would just kill them if they did ……..but that is normal ……….we are more powerful so of course we know what is best for them……….. Look ..yes it is normal ………….just look at the human world if you don't believe me……… Look at government foreign policy and using 3rd world countries for cheap labour.
At least with our maids we feed them (Er….well you do in fact) clothe them and give them a reason for life ……..er ……….unlife ..I think you should thank us for the care we take of them! ……..ok one more word about it and I will bite you .......ok?
Book Trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM6qG0P_ISA
Vampire Blog:http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/
Website:http://www.fangsrule.com
January 29, 2011
Just how stupid a vampire do they think I am!
Just how stupid a vampire do they think I am!
Remember the con about the 72 000 000 dollars someone wanted to give me, well now I have a 7 000 000 dollar win…………… heck ……..why bother with such small change when you have just been given 72 million ………..7 million is not worth getting out of bed for!
So Just look at this con of spam I had in today on my email and remember the old saying you get nowt for nowt and if something looks too good to be true then it normally is!
CON………………..CON…………………..CON…………………..CON…………..On behalf of the ASIA PACIFIC LOTTERY ASSOCIATION, we wish to notify you as a
beneficiary of $7,000,000.00 in this year Lottery Game held in Malyasia.
Do contact our claims agent Mr Mohammed Hassan for your claims.
for verification and release of your $7,000,000.00.Fill Your
[1] Full Names:.....|2] Contact address:...[3] Direct Telephone No:....
|4| Occupation :....|5] Age :..[6] Marital Status:
Do people still fall for this? I have been offered so much money over the past year I could buy my own planet! Or maybe some shares in Microsoft! So 79 million in 3 days, can anyone top that?
January 27, 2011
Look I am a vampire and I have fangs so why risk sending me begging con letters!
Look I am a vampire and I have fangs so why risk sending me begging con letters!
As a full blood vampire why am I always getting letters about giving me millions of dollars? Look just buy some books will you!!
And what is 7.2, 000,000.00 what does the point mean between the 7 and the 2 mean? You can have 7.2 million or you can have 72 000 000.00 is the point two 20% of one million? So 200,000.00 given the amount as 7 million and two hundred thousand I would write as 7200,000.00 or 7 200,000.00 and not 7.2,000,000.00
It is an important difference when someone is offering me so much money, well not that I can have it anyway as they want a God fearing Christian human and that is just sooooooooooo specie-ist and why do you want me to fear god to be suitable to get this money! Can't love him or worship him …no you have to fear him ….remember Soddom and Galmoral (however you spell them) the two destroyed cities on the plains in the holy books …………….. Not even sure if a deity could be classified as a weapon of mass destruction ….perhaps the Soddomites should ask the UN to invade someone over it?
With due respect and humilityCalvary Greetings in the name of the LORD Almighty and Our LORD JESUS CHRIST the giver of every good thing.
Good day and compliments of the seasons, i know this letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued existence. I am Mrs.Charity Omann an aging widow of 61 years old suffering from long time illness.
I have some funds I inherited from my late husband, the sum of $7.2,000,000.00 and I needed a very honest and God fearing Christian who can withdraw this money then use the funds for Charity works. I WISH TO GIVE THIS FUNDS TO YOU FOR CHARITY WORKS. I found your profile in this site after honest prayers to the LORD to bring me a helper and i decided to contact you if you may be willing and interested to handle these trust funds in good faith before anything happens to me.
I am desperately in keen need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you for this task, you must not fail me and the millions of the poor people in our todays WORLD. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved,100% RISK FREE with full legal proof. Please if you would be able to use the funds for the Charity works kindly let me know immediately.for further details.
Warmest Regards,
Charity Omann
January 26, 2011
A girls boobs and the pencil test
A girls boobs and the pencil testWe used to do this when changing at school and I was telling a friend about the famous pencil test and she never heard of it ……………but ever girl must have done this test at school!!!!!One of the few times a girl can be proud of a smaller bust………….. and hell it was fun to point out to the girls that failed that they must have been grouped by lots of boys to be so saggy to fail………………….……….. Girls can be so mean at school …………. Hell if you think that was bad you should have seen what happened to girls joining special groups ………..the initiation test always had some thing about being naked in public ……..if you were lucky if would be in a public park at midnight ….if not then its a paper bag with eye holes over the head for a campus sprint and just be glad you didn't have any recognizable tattoos
Who says school was not fun ………………… I still break out in a cold sweat thinking of it!
There is an test which is said to accurately test the firmness of a woman's breasts. The test is unbiased, easy to conduct, requires no special equipment, is painless, and let's face it, you're curious.InstructionsRemove your shirt and bra and stand with your back perfectly straight. For the most accurate results stand with your back pressed against a wall. The back of your head should also be resting against the wall during the actual test.
Raise your breast gently with one hand just high enough to reveal the crease where your breast joins with the ribcage area.
Place a standard No. 2 pencil in the crease. Do not press it into the flesh, simply allow it to rest against the skin. Very carefully and very slowly lower your breasts until you are no longer supporting it with your hand.
Put you hands at your sides and stand very still. If the pencil falls, or has already fallen from its resting place, your breasts are considered extremely firm, and you are awarded a gold star.
In a slow even movement, raise your arms out to the sides, as if forming a giant T. Hold this position. If the pencil falls now, or falls during the movement, your breasts are considered very firm and you receive a silver star.
Slowly raise your arms over your head and clasp your hands together. If the pencil falls now, or falls during this movements, your breasts are considered firm and you are awarded a bronze star. If the pencil does not fall, your breasts may not be firm enough, or there are other conditions which prevent them from passing this particular test.
Naked vampires having sex and doing rude things together is (not) what my blog is about.
Naked vampires having sex and doing rude things together is (not) what my blog is about.
Well just got in my book trailer film clip for my book and it looks great it is now on youtube and I am trying to get it seen around the world…….I have found out that just putting fangs rule in youtube finds me!
Famous !!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeee
Wooooooooooooooooooooow this is so exciting there is even a nude shot of me in the film clip …….hehehe………. but you will have to look hard to find it!
The finishing touches to my book are now being made and ……………well …………… I'm just sooooooo …..yes I said it before but I am………………
HMG …….I'm going to have to visit the bathroom again soon so to finish ……………. March I am told it will be March when it will be out and about ………but to go on we have a film clip………..
Amy
Well just got in my book trailer film clip for my book and it looks great it is now on youtube and I am trying to get it seen around the world…….I have found out that just putting fangs rule in youtube finds me!
Famous !!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeee
Wooooooooooooooooooooow this is so exciting there is even a nude shot of me in the film clip …….hehehe………. but you will have to look hard to find it!
The finishing touches to my book are now being made and ……………well …………… I'm just sooooooo …..yes I said it before but I am………………
HMG …….I'm going to have to visit the bathroom again soon so to finish ……………. March I am told it will be March when it will be out and about ………but to go on we have a film clip………..
Amy
January 25, 2011
The difference between males and females is no longer there!
The difference between males and females is no longer there!
OK just look what I have found linked to one of my blogs about males being the genderthat can pee standing up without getting their shoes wet.
YOU humans are a strange and odd lot of animals, have you ever heard of a vampire discussing ways they can pee?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfL8-AgWBf0
OK just look what I have found linked to one of my blogs about males being the genderthat can pee standing up without getting their shoes wet.
YOU humans are a strange and odd lot of animals, have you ever heard of a vampire discussing ways they can pee?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfL8-AgWBf0
January 22, 2011
My life as a Vampire by Amy Mah (Vampire): Wearing THONGS in public
My life as a Vampire by Amy Mah (Vampire): Wearing THONGS in public: "Wearing THONGS in public This has just popped up on my machine and they look nice …….not sure who sells them but they look kinda Roman or G..."
