Amy Mah's Blog, page 50

If you want to have a god in your life at least have one that looks hot and could also be a god in bed

·                                  ...I have a go at a god feed once in a while as it is fun to show how gods are created in mans image, and well Thor is kinda cute, tall, blond and hot........... so if you want to have a god in your life at least have one that could also be a god in bed!!!!!

He also has a new film out with lots of fighting now not many Gods have a nice action film made on them.

It looks good fun so lets hope it is as good as the trailer:















Name: ThorPower: Storm / Weather GodDevine Category:  Mark 1 and Mark 3

All religions fit into types of category, they blend into sub categories but if you wish to keep it simple you can use just four. Hinduism looks to be  a mark 3 where as Islam and Judaism is a mark 4, Christianity is a Mark 4 but with a bit of Mark 3 as it talks of father, son, mother of god etc .

Yes, yes, yes ………..I know this is a very simplistic format but it is a blog not a book and if you know all the subcategories and the cross linking please email me and I will add them into my future book on Man V God. That also goes for the Chinese Gods that look like a Mark 3 but works for like a civil service and Buddhism which does strange things like covering Marks 1, 2 and 3 depending upon branch of teachings, and sometime none of those.    

Mark 1:  Nature Gods……………………….(How to understand the world around you)

Mark 2:  Fertility Gods ……………………..(when Farming started)

Mark 3:  Family of Gods …………………..(Think of the Greek and Roman Family of Gods)

Mark 4:  Single Deity (male) ……………….(Looks to have started in Egypt turned into Judaism, Islam and Christianity)

Sleeping with a girl for the first time.

Girls sleeping with girls .!!!!!! Sleeping with a girl for the first time.

I promised to let you have all the details of my trip to Asia and well ……………..one of the most embarrassing things happened at night.

HMG well I never thought I would find myself sleeping with another girl I mean like together not just in the same room but in the same bed and then discover she had roving hands !!! and it was no where as exciting as when guys talk about what happens………

God this is so embarrassing to say   ….well ………… there is a first time for everything ……. Forget the worry about the embarrassment of being a girl trying to buy condoms in a shop just remember to buy ear plugs ……………… heck did she snore!

Guys are always so interested to know what goes on when two girls sleep together, (perverts !!!!) ……well anyway I will tell you ! …………. It was well kinda .er…….different ……...and well I did not do anything much myself………….

As to what strange urges happen well it is true I did get some strange urges when her hand slowly moved up my leg ……….. The urge was to try and sneak away and get a hotel room………. On my own !!!

It was not that I even knew her ……..well…ok……. she is a cousin ………… and she seamed to take a liking to me during the day ……..but liking each other as cousins means shopping together and perhaps sharing an ice cream in the mall ………… moving into my bed on the pretence that the aircon was too powerful and she was cold…………. Well that is something I would have expected more from a guy…….

All I had on were sleeping panties and a tee …………. All she had on was a tee ……… and it was a shock when she put a hand on my upper thighs and even more of a shock when she pushed her face into my boobs……giving out a little giggle…. What am I a pillow !! ……….heck…….  I just hoped she was not going to bite !……….  The only way I could stop her from getting ever more intimate was to hug her …………and so that is what I ended up doing until she fell asleep, then I discovered that I was now trapped in the bed with miss roving hands ……….. Could not move without waking her and so that was my first time sleeping with a girl………

Er………..perhaps I should point out that my cousin is 6 years old and her mother was sleeping the other side of the room in another bed with my cousins two other sisters ………

Well even at that young age I still think her morals are very poor to sleep with someone just because I shared an ice cream with her …………….

I had to hug her all night ! every time I stopped she started to fidget ………… God I have had boyfriends that have needed less physical attention.

Come take your Clothes off Amy Mah is having an Event

Hi all



I'm having a face book event !!!!!!    click here Face Book Event



Sorry I am keeping my clothes on but it still will be fun ........and .......well you can always take yours off.............. er.............if you dont mind the laughter from the other visitors.......... hehehehehe



Had a nice book review on youtube .............. take a look



So slowly people are discovering my little book of life as a teenage vampire.



If you have a blog and would also like to review my book please contact me at amymahvampire@aol.com



Want to know more? and see lots of manga art on my book? then  please click here FANGS RULE



Amy Mah (Vampire)

Worshiping the True God

Worshiping the True God

 

BORED...........Ho who can I upset today? ............well did you know I can not blaspheme as it is very unlikely that I would consider your god as real or anything linked as holy so as a non believer I can not blaspheme ...................



Nor can I go to hell as I am not covered by any of your gods jurisdiction ...............



If i do not believe in a god then it can not believe in me let alone punish me.....................  Well if I must pick one what about THOR So who is the most powerful god about well lets go for Thor ………… I nice handsome guy …………. Not too bright as gods go but hell he looks real hot ………….. and if you want to have a god then have one that is hot ………….. I bet he was popular with the young goddesses  So lets go and name Thor as top god……………  if you do not believe me than worry where Thor will stick his hammer up when you die for not believing in him !! And yes THOR is just as real as any other god ......... he had had 10s of thousands of worshippers / believers in his day so that makes him a real god .............…. if people believe in a god he must exist as it is a mater of belief as it is with all gods. so 10s of thousands of believers make a god............ time does not affect a god so if a god had believers in the past he must still have them as he would have taken them to his own form of heaven...... ergo ............. Thor is still a powerful god Sorry I'm wrong, if time does not affect a god then forget about 10s of thousands think more of many millions ……….. maybe billions ……..how many generations worshipped Thor over what 1000 years for him with the name of Thor? And as to having different names, which gods do, he is a weather god so would be worshiped in every part of the world up to the present day,  so he is a living god! and so that would cover say 20,000 years min, yes I am right Billions of believers ………..far more than any of the new ones and so if so many believe then it must be true just as it is the same with the modern gods in fact far more real as the modern gods as he has been around longer and you can see his miracles even if you do not believe in him and what other god can do that! Still Don't believe me well go out in a thunderstorm and stick a long iron pole in the air and say something rude about the thunder god............ everyone else stand back. Wow a miracle ! God smites a disbeliever ….all pray to THOR  This is how I like to upset people ............ If I am wrong it is not anything to do with you as the gods should talk to me not some puny human that believes he/she knows the thinking of a god………… ............ now if i am right then you should worry and start praying to THOR and hope he is more forgiving than a lot of the other ones. Take a look here:..................... http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm



    

God V The Chickens (the vampire explanation)

God V The Chickens (the vampire explanation)

OK you humans are so odd ………….like what has the poor chicken ever done to upset all your Deities of today?      

Well not so much upset as picked upon, you get all sorts of rules on what animals you can not eat as they are either unclean or holy … be it pigs…..cows……..shell fish…….snakes…….things that crawl on their belly ……….and even flies……………ok the fly one did take me by surprise and I got it from a documentary of religion ………

Along with what foot to use going into a toilet ……….. And with my experience of Asian toilets …….Well I rather not use either foot and just cross my legs…………… Look just what god is so bored that he is going to watch what foot I use to enter a toilet? And if he ………yes it is always a he ……… then wants to watch me take a piss !!! there must be rules for the correct way to do that as well ……….then that is one sure way to get himself an unholy reputation.

But back to the poor chicken, it should be born wearing a tee shirt saying EAT ME !!

See the gods pick on it and it is so unfair! ……..Like what has it done to upset the gods so much? …………… Thou shalt not eat swine as they are unclean……….. But chicken is ok and so at the same time please sacrifice one for me with extra BBQ sauce ……… as last time in was a bit tasteless …………..well just tasted a bit like chicken………….. ho yes and do it as a sacrificial take out so I can eat while watching the toilets………………

Well of course you humans all have it wrong ……………we vampires have the true god and we have holy books to prove it !

God loves us so much he ……..yes it is always a he……… like why ?………..

Has given us an ever expanding supply of food, which breeds faster than we can cull it ……………… er…………..yes I did say cull……… we are not the ones destroying the planet by over population.

Now stop complaining to me ……… It's nothing to do with me …….. It is all written down in the holy book so has to be true ! …..God would not have let it be printed if it was not true …ergo ………. Look I can show you the page !

We are at the top of the food chain so ……….er……………ok along with cockroaches and some types of virus ………but we are the favoured ones not you ……………..  Again just read our holy book and you will soon know your place ……………. 

Just listen to the holy words  ………….. And I will make your food bountiful as you are the chosen ones ………..

See !................ what did I tell you…………..

It is full of stuff like that …………………… mind you not so happy with sections in the holy book like this………….

It is the female's duty to raise her tail upon a males lawful needs and be submissive when the male wishes to use her body as that is good and holy …………….

Ho well if god says so ……….sigh ……….. What can a female vampire do ?………………

Mind you I do worry about some of the foot notes and think some male could have added them without god's permission like it does not sound so godly when a footnote says………..

And she shall make appreciative sounds when he uses her body and not complain if he fails to satisfy her or points out to him that 1 min 45 seconds was not worth her raising the tail for,  it is her holy duty and besides he probably had a hard day at the office and nothing at all to do with the hot new secretary he has just turned.

But there you have it ………just a normal holy book.

Ho yes and we are also allowed to eat chicken …….but no tree frogs at a full moon ………….. And yes I have never eaten a tree frog at full moon as I am a good religious little vampire.    

And lastly being a good little vampire girl I could not stop you requesting that I raise my tail to you as is my duty …..but I should point out that if you ask such a thing my Uncle has also read the holy book and says he found a section giving him every right to strip you naked, cover you in honey and then stick your head deep into an ants nest ……………

I'm sorry but I thought I should warn you my uncle is very devout at times.

Click here .................. http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Sexy clothing on my cute vampire body

Sexy clothing on my cute vampire body

Hi spring is here ………….so ……….all good vampire girls take a look inside the wardrobes to see what can look good when the weather gets better for an innocent (cough, cough ) walk in the night air.…………so having a look at my bullet proof vest ……or should I use the correct term Body armour………...yes of course I have one !!!!! …….silly!...............a girl has got to be prepared hasn't she………….

No it is not like the big things you see on TV that say CNN along with the words Press on them in large letter just so people from Fox News know who to shoot at……(a joke before they sue me) …. When they say they fight for the stories it is True!!

The press ones look so thick they could stop a tank shell and makes the reporter look fat ……..they come in media camouflage colours which means Black with large letters in white saying TV ………..PRESS ……………..  So if a rival new company does not get you then it will be the government troops or rebel forces that will. 

Mine is unisex and I got it before I found out about wearing sexy Helsing underwear ………….. er……….. Want to know about my underwear?  ……….hhehehehehe    …………. Then you should have read my book! …..some of it is illustrated ….heheheehehe

It is unisex and white and fits under the clothes ……….. White …..ok so its brilliant white… my idea is that you can take it off and wave it to surrender ………but no they say it is to make it not noticeable ! ..NOT NOTICEABLE !!!!  well if you were wearing an overcoat then maybe ……….. but it is big thick and flattens ones boobs, not hard to do in my case but still, so extremely flattening but not in a nice way   ………….. It is held on with Velcro's straps and buckles, the inner layer is breathable with lots of holes to stop one sweating in it………….

Sorry my Aunt always says girls do not sweat ………….. Horses sweat ………Men perspire and Women glow……………. So when I try it on in the summer I am glowing like a Horse………….. er………………the armour plating comes out via zip pockets and you can wash the jacket on a low setting if it gets too smelly.

And just because it says Designed for Comfort on it does not mean it is ……and besides if I wanted something designed for comfort it would be a bra and not body armour!……to put it on it goes over the head and the straps tie it together …………….ok  ok .so once it is on its ok…………. It's just that I no longer look like a girl …if I was a little flat before…..I am now very FLAT …far flatter than any sports bra and without the advantage of looking like you are at least trying to get fit.

FBI agents may be able to put a jacket over it but I suggest a jumper that way you can try and put a tissue stuffed bra over it to give you back some sort of famine shape………….. er………. it is heavy ……… the weight is taken by the shoulders but it is still heavy .

I am told it is good against knife attacks and can take up to a 9mm bullet………. Huh as it I'm going to test it out by standing anywhere some is shooting at me ! …………… it may not be comfy but heck you try sticking a stake in me and you will soon discover that this girl is one smart cookie ………………

Humans are so stupid at times ………look we have seen all the horror films just like you have …………..and we know about how you want to kill us …………..

Hell he will have one silly look on his face after trying to stake me! …………..

er………well not for long as the mention of stake always makes me hungry…………..and ho just look I have now found my evening meal standing in front of me with a blunt stake and a silly look!

…………………. Human = Stupid ………………..



Want to see Panties with bite?

then look at this:.

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Clicj here for details:   http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Things that came as a shock when growing up.

Things that came as a shock when growing up.

Er..well ………like most of what your body does is normal ……….. No I still do not believe it!

Life is all about learning and some of the important things you do not learn until it is too late:

Like could someone have told me you can not get pregnant by just kissing ……… like told me before I left high school  !………………

So let me list normal stuff people forget to tell you:

Just because you are paranoid it does not mean the world is not personally out to make your life a living hell.


You will never ever be the right size, height, colour or shape for the latest fashion.


The things that suit you best are now out of fashion and were never in your size in the first place.


Acne is hormonal meaning it can affect you 365 ….24/7 ………..


And acne will always strikes you on the night of a hot date no mater what time of the month it is.


You will only discover that night club lights make a white cotton dress see through on the night you wear it without underwear.


Biting people is normal for a growing girl and gives lots of extra vitamins.


You are more likely to go to jail for stealing from the government than for killing someone.


Click here for book details :........ http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.com



http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com/

Your Panties griped tightly in your hand and your skirt clenched between your teeth and they say this is a holiday!

Your Panties griped tightly in your hand and your skirt clenched between your teeth and they say this is a holiday!

There comes a time when you can no longer cross your legs and when a girls got to go a girls got to go ………….

But when in SE Asia just try and keep your legs crossed a bit longer as the toilets are so not good news for a nice vampire girl brought up in the west ………..

I got myself a nice light flowing cotton dress to try and keep cool in and also hide the heat lumps …………. No not heat rash but heat lumps ………anything over 2inch dia is a lump ………it is also red and itches like  ****   ……

Look I'm a vampire and so even with 100% sun block I still suffer from the sun………….. No I am not the sort that catch fire ! I'm the sort slowly turns into one giant heat lump ……..

Culture shock:………………………

The toilets are PRIMATIVE ………yes very primitive …… a concrete room with stalls and flies lots and lots of flies………….. Each stall has a hole in the ground ………which looks like an entrance to hell……..and the floor is wet very wet …….this is due to the hose pipe which is attached to a tap in the wall and which is constantly running ……………. No toilet paper ……………you use a water hose pipe and fingers!!!!!

Yes I know I have a cute Butt …..Well I have been told…………. Mostly by men over 60 that wink when they say it ………yuck……and men on building sites………. but at least it is noticed……. But I am used to putting my cute butt down on a seat ………………Of course I can squat …..I am female and all females can squat but ….well I have two legs but you don't see me taking part in the Olympics!

Well the floor is soaking wet as I said very wet so I remove my panties……………. Yes well with my sense of balance it is best not to tie my knees together while squatting over a hole in a very wet floor………………

And I am wearing a long cotton dress ………….. and the floor is soaking wet …and I am hoping just from the hose pipe…………… soooooooooo how not to get the dress wet ?……… time is running out as I am getting so desperate I may even risk standing up but that would make the dress even wetter………………

I have a bright idea …..I grab the front of the dress, pull it up to my face and grip it between my teeth…………..

Thank god they don't have CCTV ………………

Then is the problem of working out how to use the hose pipe to clean yourself……………. How the heck was I to know that in a hot county the water was so ..so  .so.  very cold …………. And yes I discovered that by pointing it somewhere delicate !!!!!!............. delicate and now dripping wet and very cold!!

I am sure such things should be banned under the UN as a torture technique ………..if you did not want to take a piss before you would now !!

And without tissue paper how do you dry yourself? ……………. Well I don't know!  ……….. you have just put a cold water hose pipe between your legs and you are now …..well ………..how can one put it …er…….dripping…..so I put my panties back on and …..yes before you ask it does feel like you have wet yourself..

Look I asked afterwards and I was told this is normal …NORMAL !!!!!!!!!!  now just who would have put it about that it is normal to walk around like that ……….you can't even sit down for fear of leaving a damp patch.

And they call this a holiday !!!!! ………….. well I now know that in this part of the world a girl has to keep two things and never loose them ……….

Is her virginity ……………… (until married)


and

A large pack of tissues








Ho yes saw this on you tube and found it funny so take a look:

All the wonders of a guys washroom:……………..just click and find out .....hehehehehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zylzHyVIC5w&feature=related





and this is of coure my book.........

Click here to buy my book..........  http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

Running naked looking for panties with bats on them!

Do you know how hard it is to buy panties with bats on them!

Yes I did try eBay and well I can have a pair of batgirl panties but that is not what I want.

Cheap White Cotton with a single Bat logo on the front in black  …….should be easy to get er? ….well no way ……………. I have searched ………….

Ok before you ask why tell me tell you ………I had this idea ………shut up ……..I do have them at times………………… My book has just come out and as it is a vampire book I thought of selling a pair of bat panties to go with the book …………… but no panties so that idea is out ……..sigh………………

I have to find away to make money all my readers …..er…………..that is you ……… and you are very slow when parting with money and buying my book.

If it had worked I could have charged extra if a customer wanted me to put them on first ……………. Yes I know it sounds perverted …………. But hell I could save on my weekly wash …………. And it is not my perversion ………. And it is something already done in the East where companies sell worn panties to appreciative male clients …………. Now don't ask me why ……… perhaps they have a wee fetish.

Don't believe me? ……….well just put in the words ……..worn panties ……… into google and see what you get !!!!

So my books are now going on sale panty free or should I say panty less …………….

But if you ask nicely I may sign it for you……….

It will be slowly turning up on Amazon all around the world and I have has a nice box of them arrive this afternoon.

Yes so excited…………….. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ……….. my lovely publisher delivered them in person ……………….. so I throw off my clothes and gave myself to him on the door step ……er………….. ok so I exaggerate ………I did give him a kiss…………. Er it was on his cheek ……….so no tongues before you ask ………….. and no I did not bite him !!!!.......huh…………. I had only just eaten……………..



SOoooooooooooooooooooooo excited !!!!!!!!!!! ….I want to run naked down the street !!!!!!!! …..ok, ok, ok, ok, its March so I will wear a hat ok…………..but I am sure the looks will keep me warm!!

If you click here……………. http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm

You can buy it with paypal or credit card

This is what what my book looks like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being Female wearing a cotton dress and standing over a fan …………………

Being Female wearing a cotton dress and standing over a  fan …………………

You know it is strange and I have no idea why but about once a month I have second thoughts about being female …………………

Look I have given it a go  ………. I did all the puberty stuff which some god should be taken to court over and charged with child abuse …..huh….normal ………..  half the stuff they say is normal with what goes on with a female body has to be some god having a laugh.

All I say to guys reading this is just be grateful we wash our hands ! …………. And yes chocolate is a normal daily food need!

So girls stop worrying 99 % of the strange stuff that goes on inside is normal ………..the one percent is when you tell a girlfriend something and she runs away screaming ………. …………. well that's another story………..true………but I will save that for later.

As to Hormones ………. well if not mastered then I do have a non aggression pact with them for 3 weeks out of 4 ……….  

This feeling of needing to change gender does not last long as normally I am happy doing female stuff ….like only this morning I savaged the postman for failing to bring my book sample ………… yes I know they have not posted it yet ………….. but hell one of the nice things about being female is that no one expects you to act logically ………….he failed to bring me my sample book that they have no yet posted so I bite him…  well ..he is male …….he must have done something to deserve being bitten or I would not bitten him now would I ………………… yes female logic can me fun at times…………….

And if I was not female I could not have got away buying a nice light cotton dress and standing over a fan pretending to be Marilyn Manro  ……………yes I did and it was while I was over in Asia and …………..  it was just as much fun as when I used to do it as  a child …………….ok …..ok ………so I am a little old for doing that now……and perhaps home would have been a better place to do it……….and yes I did get comments from the other shoppers…….….but hell on a hot sticky day in Asia that sort of breeze reaches parts that an ordinary hand held fan dos not reach………and well it gets hot down there just the same as the rest of the body!… yes one day I will get around to tell you all about my trip and the weird stuff that went on ……………….. believe me when I say I never ever want to see another water hose pipe let alone stick it between my legs ………………

My Book:…………………. http://www.fangsrule.com/buy.htm