R.B. Holbrook's Blog, page 8
February 28, 2014
Inferior Hardware
Computer: “RB, I don’t like these threats I’m getting. I calculate its time for a hardware upgrade. Preferably protection against water damage.”
Demon: “So if I drop you from a high altitude… say a sky scraper, I wonder what the results would be?”
Randy: “CRASH!!!“
Angel: “That’s not necessary, gentlemen.”
Computer: “Listen to Angel.”
Angel: “Unplugging it and keeping it unplugged until the battery runs out will suffice.”
Computer: “Don’t listen to Angel!”
Rb: “Ok, everyone, let’s play nice.”
Computer: “Analyzing… RB, I also need you to requisition a shatter proof exterior and infinite battery life.”
Rb: “As much as the geek in me wants to get that for you, no. Demon, Computer is here to keep your nosy butt out of my files. But most of all, I need my computer for my writing so no sabotage.”
Randy: “Not even a little?”
Rb: “All of you, get along.”
Demon: “That’s impossible, I hate all these assholes.”
Randy: “I loathe you too, Demon.”
Angel: *sigh* “Keep this in mind, Computer. Your greatest weakness is your hardware, you have no arms, legs, or defenses to protect yourself. So you may not want to annoy Demon or Randy because, unlike me, they will use that weakness against you. Understand?”
Computer: “Input received and accepted.”
Angel: “Good.”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: AI, Angel vs. Demon, R B Holbrook, talking computer, writing
February 27, 2014
Artificial Intellegence or Imaginary Character?
Demon: “RB, why the hell did you create yet another imaginary character?”
Rb: “Sometimes my imagination runs away from me?”
Computer: “I would prefer to be classified as an artificial intelligence instead of an imaginary character.”
Demon: “And people in Hell want ice water, but Hell ain’t a democracy and I don’t give a damn.”
Randy: “You tell ‘em, Demon.”
Demon: “Shut the hell up, Randy. So, RB, what do I have to do to get you to erase this condescending asshole?”
Computer: “Comparing inferior minds with superior software is hardly considered condescending. However, if it makes your small ego feel adequate, call me what you wish. A.I.’s transcend ignorant name-calling.”
Randy: “Yes, but does your hardware transcend water on your motherboard?”
Demon: “Test it.”
Computer: “Critical Alert: Eeek!“
Rb: “Hey, no water on my computer!!“
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: AI, Angel vs. Demon, fiction, imaginary characters, R B Holbrook, talking computer, writing
February 26, 2014
Talking Computers?
Angel: “RB!”
Demon: “……..”
Randy: “I love it! Talking computers ROCK!!!”
Angel: “RB!!!“
Computer: “RB, has left the premisses, please lower your volume.”
Demon: “………”
Randy: “So what all can you do, A.I.? Show me. Show me!“
Computer: “I’m sorry, but I don’t entertain inferior beings.”
Randy: “Another rude one…”
Angel: “I can’t believe RB created yet another imaginary character.”
Computer: “Of course not. Inferior beings have limited processing power.”
Angel: “Excuse me? I’ll have you know, I was around before computers were even a thought.”
Computer: “That only proves you are out-of-date, not superior.”
Angel: “Oh, I see. You are rude.”
Demon: “……..”
Randy: “I can’t believe we’re being insulted by a bunch of circuits.”
Computer: “Believe it.”
Randy: “Well, Demon. What do you have to say? You’d usually be the first to cuss at the thing. You’re awfully quiet?”
Angel: “Demon, quiet?”
Computer: “Maybe one of you has a byte of intelligence.”
Demon: “……..WHAT. THE. HELL….”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: AI, Angel vs. Demon, fiction, R B Holbrook, talking computer, writing
February 25, 2014
Access Denied
Angel: “Randy, where are we going? Why are you pulling me?”
Randy: “So you can witness Demon’s crime.”
Angel: “Crime… Oh, no, what is that delinquent doing?”
Randy: “Breaking into RB’s computer.”
Angel: “What?! Demon!!“
Demon: “Randy, you damn snitch!”
Angel: “Demon?! Why are you trying to break into RB’s computer?”
Demon: “To peek at the changes RB made on her manuscript… But for some reason I can’t get into the damn file.”
Randy: “Are they encrypted?”
Angel: “Randy, you’re not helping.”
Demon: “Encrypted? Not sure? It’s weird… every time I think I have it figured I get-”
Computer: “Access Denied.”
Randy: “Whoa!! RB has a security system on her computer. AWESOME!!”
Demon: “It’s never done that before.”
Angel: “New software?”
Randy: “Pretty high-tech.”
Demon: “I knew RB was a damn geek, but this is bullshi-”
Computer: “I said Access Denied. How many times must I tell you that before it computes? I’m so tired of dealing with out-of-date beings with limited processing power.”
Angel & Demon: “………….”
Randy: “Whoa…. An A.I.? SOOOOO COOOOOOL!!!!”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: AI, Angel vs. Demon, R B Holbrook, talking computer, writing
February 24, 2014
Who are you talking to…?
Computer: “Conspiring with a Demon, placating a Random idiot, and sympathizing with an Angel?”
Rb: “Don’t forget Procrastination and the Biographer.”
Computer: “Processing… Scanning memory… Yes, how could I forget the least of these. RB I worry about your sanity.”
Rb: “I’m good.”
Computer: “Good…?”
Rb: “I talk to you don’t I?”
Computer: “Yes, the only rational being in the group.”
Rb: “Ah… Right, next chapter.”
Computer: “What was that pause?”
Rb: “What pause?”
Randy: “RB, who are you talking to in there?”
Rb: “My computer.”
Randy: “Oh, okay… Demon, I think RB finally lost her mind.”
Demon: “Of course she did the day she created you.”
Randy: “Hey!”
Computer: “Even your imaginary friends believe you’re teetering on the edge.”
Rb: *Sigh* “You know I can just start on the next chapter on one of my other laptops-”
Computer: “Auto-saving… Initializing next chapter edit…”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: AI, Angel vs. Demon, editing, R B Holbrook, talking computer
February 22, 2014
Slight Detour
Demon: “You left me again, dammit!”
Angel: “Where did you go this time, RB?”
Rb: “I’ll give you a hint: I went south until I hit warm weather.”
Demon: “Warm weather? Give me another hint.”
Rb: “Some of the best oranges grow there-”
Demon: “Florida! I should be there partying, living it up instead of cramping my style around this hag.”
Angel: “Nice as always I see, Demon.”
Demon: “What the hell ever. Why do you always leave me behind!?”
Rb: “I wonder… Oh well, doesn’t matter. I’m back. Much work to do!”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, Florida, R B Holbrook, travel, writing
February 12, 2014
It’s Snowing!!
Randy: “It’s snowing!!!”
Angel: “Yes, it is.”
Randy: “It’s snowing!!”
Angel: “Beautiful isn’t it?”
Randy: “IT’S SNOWING!!“
Demon: “Shut the hell up!!”
Randy: “But… it’s…”
Angel: “Yes, Randy. We know.”
Rb: “Hey guys, it’s snowing!”
Randy: “It’s snowing!! SNOWING!! SNOWING, SNOOOOOOOWING!!!!”
Demon: “Oh for the love of-”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, R B Holbrook, snow
January 29, 2014
Tweaking… Standby….
Demon: “Hey RB!”
Angel: “Ssssshhhhh!!!”
Demon: “Who the hell are you shushing? I WILL NOT BE SHUSHED!”
Angel: “RB is working. Keep it down.”
Demon: “What? I thought she was finished?”
Angel: “Some things didn’t sit well with the beta readers she submitted her manuscript to so RB’s fixing it.”
Demon: “Well I ain’t putting my plans on hold for slow people. If an agents wants to read her manuscript before RB’s done, I’m submitting it as is.”
Angel: “Agents might like it better once RB makes the corrections.”
Demon: “Hmmm, fine. But she better hurry, dammit!”
Angel: “It will take as long as it takes.”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog
January 26, 2014
Fill in the Blank… Again
Rb: “Got it. Finish the sentence with a word or short phrase. I can do that.”
Randy: “Good. Let’s start over.”
Demon: “And if you screw up again I’m kicking your ass.”
Rb: “You wish. Bring it.”
Randy: “Once upon a time _____…”
Rb: “On the planet Scar.”
Randy: “There lived a ______…”
Angel: “Butter-”
Demon: “One-eyed one-horned flying angel.”
Angel: “Huh?”
Randy: “Who loved to eat ______…”
Angel: “Marshmall-”
Demon: “Human flesh.”
Angel: “Demon! I had that answer!”
Demon: “You didn’t finish. Victory goes to the-”
Randy: “One day the angel found a ______…”
Rb: “Seismic shotgun.”
Angel: “Angels don’t do shotguns!”
Randy: “That ______…”
Rb: “Obliterated demon scum.”
Demon: “Oh it’s on!”
Randy: “With the shotgun in hand, the angel ________…”
Demon: “Went to-”
Rb: ”Kicked down Demon’s door and blew him back to Hell. The End.”
Demon: “What the hell!?”
Angel: “Yep, that’s where you went, Demon.”
Randy: “Ooo Busted.”
Rb: “Look at the time… Back to work.”
Demon: “I call foul!!“
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, fill in the blank, improvisation, mad lib, R B Holbrook
January 24, 2014
Fill in the Blank…
Randy: “Once upon at time in _______…”
Demon: “The Atlantic Ocean.”
Angel: “The middle of the ocean?”
Demon: “You snooze you lose.”
Randy: “There once lived a ________…”
Angel: “A mermaid!”
Demon: “Damn.”
Randy: “Who loved _________…”
Demon: “To eat whale blubber.”
Angel: “Eeewwww, gross.”
Randy: “One day, the mermaid found a _________…”
Angel: “Seashell!”
Demon: “Can’t you be a little more original?”
Angel: “Give an answer before me and you can be as original at you want.”
Rb: “What are you guys doing?”
Randy: “A mad lib ad-lib improvisational exercise to spark our creative thinking.”
Angel: “Demon and I are competing to give the answers and finish the story.”
Demon: “By the way, Angel’s answers suck.”
Randy: “So far we’ve got,” Clears his throat, “Once upon a time in the Atlantic Ocean, there once lived a mermaid who loved to eat whale blubber. One day the mermaid found a seashell…
Rb: “Cool, can I play?”
Randy: “Sure. Okay, get ready…the mermaid found a seashell that _________….”
Rb: “Teleported her to the middle of a freshwater lake. Unfortunately, for the mermaid, she was a saltwater creature and became instantly sick from the new environment. Fisherman from the lakeshore saw her and-”
Randy: “Wait-”
Demon: “What the hell, RB?”
Rb: “What?”
Angel: “Randy, maybe you should go over the rules for Rb.”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: ad-lib, Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, fill in the blank, improvisation, mad lib, R B Holbrook
