R.B. Holbrook's Blog, page 9
January 15, 2014
Random Information: Beta Readers
Randy: “Hello everyone! Random Ness here! Your friendly neighborhood source of random information. Today, in the spirit of RB allowing beta readers to read her manuscript, I’m going to explain about beta reading and the need for readers.”
Angel: “This is exciting.”
Demon: “Yawn. Wake me when it’s over.”
Randy: “First, let me explain to you what a beta reader is-”
Demon: “Someone who reads crappy work before it’s a finish product. They let the writer know how bad the story sucks.”
Angel: “Demon!”
Demon: “What?”
Randy: “To be more tactful and precise, a beta reader is your second and third pair of eyes. Unlike a copy editor who works to correct grammar, spelling, and sentence structure, a beta reader helps to focus on the story on the level of a reader. They can tell you if your story makes sense and if there are inconsistencies you might have missed. They give valuable insight from the prospective of your audience.”
Angel: “In other words they help writers become better storytellers if the criticism is constructive.”
Randy: “Exactly!”
Demon: “Hell, I like my explanation better.”
Randy: “Now I want to help you choose a beta reader.”
Demon: “Don’t want one. Don’t need one.”
Angel: “This isn’t for you, Demon. This information is for people who care.”
Randy: “Book clubs, writing groups, and avid readers are great sources of beta readers. Especially people in your genre or specialization who are used to reading books and reviewing them know what to looking for.”
Demon: “Or just send the book to me. I’ll tell you what I hate.”
Angel: “Writers want honest feedback that’s not destructive.”
Demon: “Boring.”
Randy: “Some professional reviewers even offer to beta read your book and send you written feedback for a small fee. This is a great opportunity for authors who want to know if their work is worthy before submitting it to an agent or-”
Demon: “Is ripped to shreds by a merciless public that is hellbent on spitting down the throat of your shitty work. Muwahahahahaha!!!!“
Angel: “Demon, that’s rude!”
Randy: “And disgusting…”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, beta readers, books, R B Holbrook, random information, writing
January 11, 2014
Fantastical Reads
Randy: “HEAR YE, HEAR YE, THE HONORABLE R. B. HOLBROOK HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT OF GRAND PROPORTION TO-”
Demon: “Shut up, Randy. Alright, RB, make it quick. I ain’t got all day.”
Angel: “Shhhh, Demon, don’t be rude.”
Rb: “For any and all writers looking for a beta reader to read over your manuscript or story, Kira over at Magic, Dragons, and Other Fantastical Reads offers a beta reading service and gives out valuable feedback. She also offers editing and proofreading.”
Demon: “So how bad did you suck?”
Rb: “I so wanna smack-”
Angel: “Better question is how did your experience go?”
Rb: “There were a few things that needed clarifying in my story that I’m glad was pointed out before it went into print.”
Randy: “So Kira was helpful.”
Rb: “Very. I’d go to her again.”
Demon: “Your book sucked didn’t it?”
Angel: “No, RB, don’t throw your manuscript at him!“
Randy: “Yeah, throw this thesaurus. It’s thicker!”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, beta reader, book review, editing, proofreading, R B Holbrook, writing
January 10, 2014
Mystery of the Vanishing Manuscript
Rb: “Demon, what did you do?”
Demon: “Absolutely nothing. I’m innocent.”
Rb: “Innocent of what?”
Demon: “Whatever they’re accusing me of, I’m innocent.”
Rb: “Angel?”
Angel: “Demon lost your manuscript.”
Demon: “Innocent, I tell you!”
Randy: “And we were trying to help him find it.”
Demon: “Randy did it!”
Randy: “What?!? Liar!”
Rb: “Oh! Wait. No, Demon, you didn’t lose it. I sent it off to some beta readers for review. Plus, I have it backed up on my computer. So you didn’t lose anything.”
Demon: “What the hell! I was sweating bullet’s for nothing?”
Rb: “Yep.”
Angel: “That’s great. We can all rest easy now.”
Randy: “Darn, I was hoping Demon was in trouble.”
Demon: “Randy, you know that ass kicking I put on hold?”
Randy: “Yeah?”
Angel: “Run, Randy, RUN!”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, back-up, beta reader, missing manuscript, R B Holbrook, writing
January 9, 2014
What’s Missing?
Rb: “Randy, why are you under my bed?”
Randy: “Searching…”
Rb: “For what?”
Randy: “Oh, for RB’s manuscript… “
Rb: “My manuscript? Why would it be under there?”
Randy: “Oh, crap… RB? Is that you?”
Rb: “I suppose.”
Randy: “Can you pretend you didn’t hear what I just said?”
Rb: “Nope. That’s a negative.”
Angel: “Hey, Randy, any luck finding…finding…yikes! Hi, RB!”
Demon: “Shit!”
Rb: “Who wants to be the first one to explain? ………………………….don’t all speak at one time.”
Randy: “It’s Demon’s fault!”
Demon: “Damn, snitch!”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, finders keepers, missing manuscript, R B Holbrook, writing
January 8, 2014
Manuscript on Ice
Angel: “Both of you calm down! We’ll never find RB’s manuscript if you two are at each other’s throat.”
Randy: “Yes, yes! Angel’s right. Killing me solves nothing.”
Demon: “Oh, but it does. It solves the pain in my ass.”
Angel: “Demon, focus. Where haven’t we looked?”
Randy: “The freezer!”
Angel: *sigh* “I see the manuscript isn’t the only thing missing.”
Demon: “Why the hell would I put it in the freeze, Randy?”
Randy: “I don’t know. Stop getting mad at me just because you screwed up. I’m just trying to help.”
Demon: “And pissing me off in the process. You’re not even helping seriously.”
Randy: “Why should I when you keep bullying me and hurting my feelings? I hope RB utterly destroys you.”
Demon: “Oh, that’s it-”
Angel: “BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! The manuscript is more important than your childish feelings, Randy. So if you don’t start helping seriously I promise you won’t like me. And Demon, if you don’t get serious and find that manuscript, you’ll face RB alone. I. WILL. NOT. HELP.“
Randy: “Whoa…scary…”
Demon: “Fine. Fine. I’ll go check the freezer.”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, freezer, manuscript, R B Holbrook, writing
January 7, 2014
Misplaced Manuscript + Munchies = Madness
Angel: “I didn’t find the manuscript in the trash.”
Demon: “It’s not in RB’s room.”
Randy: “I didn’t find it in the kitchen…”
Demon: “Is that barbecue sauce on your chin?”
Randy: “Huh?” Wipes it off and licks his fingers, “So it is!”
Demon: “Did you even look asshole?”
Randy: “I did.”
Demon: “Where? In the refrigerator?”
Randy: “That was one of the places.”
Demon: “And did you happen to search before or after you decided to stuff your damn face?”
Randy: “I don’t think I like what you’re implying.”
Demon: “Then forget the implying and let’s go straight to the ass kicking.”
Randy: “Help!”
Angel: “Demon, stop!”
Demon: “Oh, hell no! This bitch is eating while my ass is on the line. If RB’s going to kill me, I might as well kill Randy first.”
Randy: “Help! Help!”
Angel: “No! Stop! Not the fireball!“
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, barbeque, missing manuscript, munchies, R B Holbrook, writing
January 6, 2014
Case of the Missing Manuscript
Demon: “Shit!“
Randy: “That didn’t sound healthy.”
Angel: “What’s wrong, Demon?”
Demon: “Weeeell… You know how RB gave me her manuscript to read so I could work on getting agents?”
Angel: “Yes. What about it?”
Demon: “I think… I believe… I kind of… misplaced it.”
Randy: “YOU LOST RB’S MANUSCRIPT!! You are SO dead! Ho ho, this needs popcorn!”
Demon: “You son of a-”
Angel: “You two, this is not the time. This is a crisis! We have to find RB’s manuscript. Quickly!”
Demon: “Wait… You’re going to help me?”
Randy: “Of course. Angel’s not a selfish evil bastard like you are.”
Demon: “I’m going to slap you so hard-”
Angel: “Cut it out! This is about RB! Now Demon, where’s the last place you had it?”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, manuscript, R B Holbrook, writing
January 3, 2014
Resolve To Resolute
Angel: “There you are!”
Rb: “Crap… Hi Angel…”
Angel: “You knew you’d have to come home eventually, right?”
Rb: “…right…”
Angel: “Don’t make that face. I know you’re busy and trying to get everything ready for publishing, but you need a definite goal.”
Rb: “…goal…uh huh…”
Angel: “Resolution, RB. Make a 2014 resolution for your writing.”
Rb: “Resolutions suck.”
Angel: “Now you sound like Demon.”
Demon: “Because I’m awesome!!!”
Rb: “Resolutions don’t work for me.”
Demon: “Right! So let’s skip that shit and move on to more pressing matters. MAKING ME FAMOUS!”
Angel: “RB, just make it simple. Something you know you can achieve.”
Demon: “I got one. Resolve not to make a resolution. That’s easy.”
Angel: “But technically that is a resolution.”
Demon: “…wait…damn!“
Rb: “Fine. My resolution for this year is to make sure my book is completely polished, proofread, and edited before June… And I’ll start working on the next novel and have… lets say half of it done by the end of the year.”
Angel: “Now see, was that so hard.”
Rb & Demon: “Extremely.”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: 2014 resolution, Angel vs. Demon, editing, new year, proofreading, R B Holbrook, writing
January 2, 2014
Resolution Not Required
Angel: “RB? RB! Where did she go?”
Randy: “She got away while we were arguing.”
Angel: “Demon, did you see-”
Demon: “Nope.”
Angel: “You answered that too fast.”
Randy: “HE’S LYING!“
Demon: “No, shit, Sherlock.”
Randy: “My name’s not Sherlock.”
Angel: “Demon, where’s RB?”
Demon: “Not in my pocket.”
Angel: “Ugh! She has to do her 2014 resolution.”
Demon: “Resolutions suck. Let it go.”
Randy: “Resolutions help us to meet goals and to stand firm on desicions.”
Angel: “Randy, why are you bothering to explain this to him. It’s a waist of time.”
Demon: “Damn straight. Plus, most people don’t even stick with that crap, so why the hell should I care if RB makes a resolution? She failed last year’s.”
Angel: “It’s a new year. New beginnings. And I’m all for second chances.”
Randy: “Demon, if you tell us than I’ll do anything-”
Angel: “No! Randy! Never make a deal with a demon. Especially this Demon. It only ends badly.”
Demon: “Oh, Angel, don’t be silly. I don’t mind helping Randy for the right price…hehehe.“
Randy: *Gulp*
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: 2014, Angel vs. Demon, new year, R B Holbrook, resolution, writing
January 1, 2014
…Hello 2014
Angel: “So, RB, what’s your resolution for 2014?”
Rb: “Um…Well…um…”
Randy: “Ooooo, my resolution is to be cuter, smarter, funnier…”
Rb: “Hey, Demon, help me out here.”
Demon: “Someone doesn’t wanna do her resolutions.”
Rb: “Shhhhhh, keep it down. Come on. You know you hate resolutions as much as I do.”
Demon: “Very well, watch a master of chaos at work.”
Angel: “Yes, Randy, that’s nice, but-”
Randy: “Happier, more social, more understanding,-”
Demon: “More annoying.”
Randy: “You’re rude!”
Demon: “Rude? I’m not the one who stuck his ass in the middle of a question not directed at him.”
Randy: “But I’m Random Ness, I’m supposed to be random.”
Demon: “RB should have named you Annoying or Ass.”
Angel: “Demon!”
Randy: “Evil twit!”
Demon: “Did you just call me a twit?”
Rb: “I’ll take this opportunity to just sneak away, ignore that question, and enjoy my New Year resolution-free…”
RbH
Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: 2014, Angel vs. Demon, new year, R B Holbrook, resolution, writing
