R.B. Holbrook's Blog
February 7, 2016
Why Do It?
The Interviewer: “RB, why do you do so much writing if its so much work with so little reward.”
Demon: “Damn, you’re dense. Because RB loves that shit.”
The Interviewer: “Yes, everyone knows. But this is hardly an answer. And plus I was asking RB. So RB, why do you love to write?”
RB: “Have you ever had a dream that when you wake up the next morning, it lingers with you the whole day?”
The Interviewer: “Yes. I have.”
RB: “By the end of the day, were you tired of thinking about it and you just wanted it out of your head?”
The Interviewer: “Maybe. What are you hinting at?”
RB: “I walk around with daydreams in my head daily, hourly. Worlds. Lands. People. Scenes so vivid that I have to write them down or they collide and grow and become bigger and bigger. But while I like the things I imagine. I also like to see them grow up.”
The Interviewer: “I beg your pardon?”
RB: “I love taking what swims around in my head and making it almost real. By writing them, I can shape them and mold the ideas into more than just dreams. I can give it a kind of reality. Like giving birth and watching a child mature. Of course, that is just symbolism, but the concept is similar.”
The Interviewer: “Profound.”
RB: “Not really. But thank you.”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, fiction, love writing, R B Holbrook
February 6, 2016
Few Rewards
The Interviewer: “I did a little research and learned that most writers and authors find little success in the craft of writing.”
RB: “True.”
The Interviewer: “Does that include you?”
RB: “Not really.”
The Interviewer: “But you are a little known talent, with a very small readership. Doesn’t that bother you?”
RB: “It depends on what you consider successful. If you are basing my success on what the big name authors who have publishing companies backing them are making, then yep, I ain’t successful. However, if you base success on personal goals, then yes I just might be successful.”
The Interviewer: “So you’re saying, to base success on personal goals not popular opinion.”
RB: “I say take your successes where you can get it.”
The Interviewer: “Your vagueness always astounds me.”
RB: “Fine. Yes, I used to believe success would be becoming one of those big names with huge money-making contracts. But as I learn and grow as a writer, doing what I love, I re-evaluated my definition of success. Yes, I would still love to have the publishing contracts with cash advances for my books, but I believe if one person buys my book, that’s a success. If that same person reads my book and likes it, that is a major success. And when that person wants me to write more…well that’s a huge success.”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, fiction, publishing, R B Holbrook, success, writing
February 5, 2016
A Lot of Ugly or Very Little Beauty
The Interviewer: “Do you realize that in one day, RB can write 10,000 words? That’s astonishing!”
Demon: “That’s shit.”
The Interviewer: “How can you say something so disparaging?”
Demon: “Easy. That’s shit.”
Angel: “What I think Demon is trying to say is-”
Demon: “That’s shit.”
Angel: “That 10,000 words doesn’t mean much if they have no order. You can write 10,000 words on a piece of paper and it mean nothing. The hard work comes in when giving those words meaning and bringing that meaning to life in a story. I’m sure RB would rather have a few good meaningful sentences than have a multitude of empty paragraphs.”
Demon: “Did I ask for a damn interpreter? My version sounded better and less winded.”
The Interviewer: “Angel was speaking to the more intellectual crowd. They do not want to hear such base drivel.”
Demon: “You’re shit.”
Angel: “And yet, I prefer a lot of pretty words over Demon’s few words.”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, fiction, R B Holbrook, word count
February 4, 2016
The Process
The Interviewer: “RB, some questions.”
RB: “Listening.”
The Interviewer: “I was reading a blog article from another author who-”
RB: “You mean blog post.”
The Interviewer: “Yes… I prefer article. Regardless, the young man mentioned how he could write about five hundred to seven words a day, but later he cut half of those words because it didn’t…work. Do you understand?”
RB: “Yes.”
Interviewer: “Can you elaborate? Please?”
RB: “The writing process isn’t as simple as putting words down and *puff* magic you have a book. It’s more like putting down words. Edit words. Add more words. Edit words. Make it pretty. Make it flow. Make it thoughtful. Make it engaging. Add more words. Edit words. Then critique. Edit more. Rewrite. Critique. Finalize words. Ooops! Check the count. Short story? Too long. Novel? Too short. But I want a novel. Add more words. Edit. Double check. Triple check. Get other eyes to check. Beta readers. Editors. Finalize.”
The Interviewer: “Amazing. Truly.”
RB: “Not nearly as glamorous as some make it out to be, right?”
The Interviewer: “Agreed. So how many words can you write a day?”
RB: “About 10,000 with no interruptions. Less if given only half a day.”
The Interviewer: “10,000!”
RB: “Let me remind you, I went to gradschool where writing a 10,000 word paper was homework and I needed to do a lot more research to those than I have to do with my books. Most of those papers were done in a pinch. So I have had plenty of practice in the work count department. Now whether those works are kept in the final manuscript… Well, that’s another story…”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, editing, fiction, R B Holbrook, writing process
January 30, 2016
Plan XYZ
RB: “Okay, you guys, I’m making some changes. First thing’s first, since my plan A with the literary agents didn’t go through, I’m going to plan B.”
Randy: “Plan B! Plan B! What’s plan B?”
Angel: “To appeal directly to publishers.”
Randy: “GO PLAN B!”
Computer: “And if that doesn’t work, plan C, Indy publish again.”
RB: “So with that said, Angel, I need you and Computer to comb through my manuscript and make sure there isn’t anything that needs changing. Computer you will take on Demon’s role with an antagonistic approach, and Angel-”
Demon: “To hell with that!”
RB: “Why are you still here?”
Demon: ” ’cause.”
RB: “….?”
Demon: “I want my job back.”
Angel: “What’s the magic word?”
RB: “Oh, this I gotta hear.”
Demon: “….um….”
Randy: “I think he should apologize first! APOLOGIZE!”
RB: “Even better.”
Demon: “Dammit. Yeah, yeah, sorry and please.”
RB: “Fine, you can return.”
Demon: “Whatever.”
Angel: “You know he didn’t mean it.”
RB: “Yeah, I know.”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, back-up plan, creative writing, fiction, imaginary characters, R B Holbrook
January 29, 2016
New World Order
Randy: “RB! I don’t wanna be fired! Please don’t make me leave! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
RB: “It’s fine Randy, I’ll settle this. So calm down.”
Randy: *sniff* “Okay.”
RB: “Demon, start talking.”
Demon: “About what?”
RB: “Angel told me you’re firing everyone.”
Computer: “Correction: Everyone except me who he threatened with a water hose if I don’t call him lord and master.”
Demon: “Damn, snitch.”
RB: “Well?”
Demon: “Well, all you really need is me. I’m the only high point in your life. So I was just helping you get rid of the riffraff. I mean, how many of them actually give you useful help on your writing? None are as helpful as I.”
RB: “You’re right, Demon. You’ve done far too much. So I think you need a vacation. Later.”
Demon: “What?”
Randy: “I believe…YOU’RE FIRED, ASSHOLE!!!”
Computer: “About time.”
Demon: “Wait…what the hell? You can’t fire me!”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, fiction, fired, imaginary characters, RB Holborok, vacation
January 28, 2016
Declaration of War
Demon: “Okay you imaginary bastards, from here on out I’m in charge. You’ve spent the last year wasting my time and RB’s. I won’t have it!”
Angel: “Demon, what-”
Demon: “Shut the hell up! I’m talking. Now. First, things first, Randy! Your random shit is annoying and unwanted. You’re fired.”
Randy: “Noooooooooooooo-”
Angel: “Demon, you can’t-”
Demon: “Zip it! Now for Miss Interviewer.”
Miss Interviewer: “How can I assist you?”
Demon: “You can’t. You’re done. Piss off. Pack your bags. Your ship has sailed.”
Randy: “Oooooooooooooooooooooo-”
Miss Interviewer: “I beg your pardon?”
Demon: “You can beg all you want, but it won’t save you unless…I do need someone to clip my toes nails.”
Miss Interviewer: “I refuse such lowly-”
Demon: “Then get the hell out!!”
Randy: “Ooooooooooooooooo-”
Angel: “Demon, please-”
Demon: “Wait your turn, heifer. You! Computer! Since you’re a necessary tool for RB, you’re not fired, however, your attitude towards me is going to change. From now on you call me lord and master and follow my rules. Got it?”
Computer: “Error: New instructions could not be coded. Please-”
Demon: “I swear I got a water hose with your name on it, if you bullshit with me.”
Computer: “Alert: New protocol initiated.”
Randy: “Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I don’t wanna goooooooooooooooooooooooo-”
Demon: “Now, Angel. I’ve been waiting for this all my life… Wait, where did that goody-goody go?”
RB: “DEMON!”
Demon: “Shit!”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, creative writing, dialogue, fiction, imaginary characters, R B Holbrook, war
December 31, 2015
A New Year Dawns
Angel: “RB, are you ready for the new year?”
RB: “Sure. Why not?”
Angel: “Any regrets?”
RB: “A few. Mostly the regret that I didn’t keep up with my blog.”
Angel: “Well no worries, leave that all in the past and embrace the new year.”
Demon: “Oh, Hell NO! RB needs to suffer! I’ve given you plenty of ideas for this blog and you shot them all down!”
RB: “Each idea centered around you. So yeah, I shot them down-”
Randy: “With a fully loaded semi-automatic rifle. Bang!”
Demon: “Shut up, Randy! Well just so you know, I’m considering branching off and doing my own blog. You’ll miss me then.”
RB: “Doubt it.”
Demon: “You will, dammit! I refuse anything less.”
Angel: “So… RB do you have any expectations for the new year?”
RB: “I expect great things!”
Demon: “And we refuse anything less! I demand greatness!”
RB: “Well…on that we can agree.”
Randy: “Greatness!!”
RBH
Tagged: 2016, Angel v, expectations, fiction, greatness, New Year's Eve, R B Holbrook
November 4, 2015
Strengths vs. Weaknesses
Angel: “RB, you seem frustrated lately. What’s going on?”
RB: “Learning to adjust, that’s all.”
Angel: “You can speak freely, Demon isn’t here to butt in.”
RB: “Ok… I find I need to speak more, talk to people more than I’m used to and I’m often at a loss for words or can’t quite find the right words.”
Angel: “I see.”
RB: “When I get frustrated or confused, I often stay quiet instead of express myself because I don’t know what to say in certain situations and I probably come off as aloof.”
Angel: “Of course. Makes since.”
RB: “How so?”
Angel: “RB, did you forget? You’re a writer not a talker. Write it out.”
RB: “Oh.”
Angel: “Not everyone has a gift for the spoken word. And I believe there are enough people talking in the world and not enough people listening. You listen. You write. Those are your strengths. Be patient and don’t force your speech. You’ll be fine.”
RB: “Thank you!”
Angel: “You’re welcome.”
Demon: “Who needs words when you can use actions. I say blow everything to hell.”
Angel: “Where did you come from?”
Demon: “Heh, can’t get rid of me that easily.”
RB: “Unfortunately.”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, R B Holbrook, reading, strengths vs weaknesses, writing
September 9, 2015
Every Cloud has a Silver….
Demon: “Ou! Ou! Stop hitting! Ou!”
Randy: “Hahahaha! Demon’s getting his ass kicked!”
Demon: “Shut the hell up, Randy!”
RB: “You think you can just change my manuscript and I’ll be happy with it?”
Demon: “Ou! That hurt! You should feel priviledged! Ou! I was helping you out!”
Angel: “You could have helped by unpacking after the move.”
Demon: “Ou!”
Computer: “RB! Can I interrupt?”
RB: “What!”
Computer: “I have all your manuscripts backed up and unchanged.”
RB: “Thank you, Computer. Demon-”
Demon: “I know, I know, go to hell.”
RBH
