R.B. Holbrook's Blog, page 3
February 25, 2015
Beware of Flying Boxes…
RB: “Randy, Demon, be careful moving that bookshelf, it’s heavy.”
Randy: “Aye, aye captain.”
Demon: “Shit, no saluting until after we’ve moved this bastard. It’s heavy.”
Randy: “You can handle it.”
Demon: “Just keep moving and stop blabbing.”
Randy: “I don’t blab…”
Angel: “Are they arguing again?”
RB: “Yep. I give it two minutes before my bookshelf is sitting on the driveway, and they are trying to kill each other.”
Angel: “Why not just hire professional movers?”
RB: “Hello? Cheap labor.”
Angel: “Yes, but you’ll save yourself a few headaches.”
RB: “I’d rather save money.”
Angel: “Are you sure you’re saving money? I think I just saw one of your boxes fly pass the window.”
RB: “WHAT THE–”
Randy: “HELP!!”
Demon: “You son of a bitch, don’t run!”
RB: “Demon! Put that down. No throwing my boxes!��NO!!”
Angel: picks up the phone and dials. “Hello? Is this Professional Movers Inc….?”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, blog, boxes, moving, R B Holbrook, reading, writing
February 24, 2015
Ignore the Clutter…
Angel: “Randy?”
Randy: “Over here!”
Angel: “Where?”
Randy: “Behind the big pile of boxes?”
Angel: “Which pile?”
Randy: “The pile already sealed and ready to go.”
Angel: “There are several. Please be more specific…”
Randy: “Marco!”
Angel: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Randy: “NO! You’re supposed to say Polo!”
Angel: “I’ll just sit your slice of cake on the kitchen counter.”
Randy: “Cake!! Ooo! Oh! Ouch! Falling!!!” *CRASH*
Angel winces.
Randy: “I’m okay!”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, blog, boxes, clutter, moving, R B Holbrook, writing
February 23, 2015
Please Forgive the Absence…
Demon: “RB!”
RB: “What?”
Demon: “Don’t what me, dammit! Your blog needs your attention.”
RB: “Isn’t that what I have you and Angel for?”
Demon: “Yes, but-”
RB: “Dude, I’m in the middle of packing so that I can move and you’re not helping. So either work on the blog or help me pack.”
Demon: “We’re moving? Where? When? What the hell? How come I haven’t heard about this?”
RB: “I told all of you in January, however, you were busy ignoring me.”
Demon: “Because you are so easy to ignore.”
RB: “I so want to leave you here…”
Demon: “But you can’t I’m that evil half that balances you out.”
RB: “And the thorn in my ass that pisses me off.”
Demon: “My work here is done!”
RB: “No, it’s not. Grab a box and start packing.”
Demon: “Dammit!!”
RBH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, moving, packing, R B Holbrook, writing
December 31, 2014
Should All Acquaintance Be Forgot?
Angel: “RB, you’ve been awfully quiet? How is everything going?
RB: “Have a lot going on…stuff on my mind. Nothing to worry about. I’m slowly getting back into the groove.”
Angel: “Well, with 2014 on its way out and 2015 minutes away you’ll have so many new exciting challenges, new ideas, and new inspirations. New possibilities.”
Demon: “New headaches and bullshit.”
Angel: “Not helpful…”
Demon: “I know. You’re welcome.”
Randy: “Look!!! It’s almost time! COUNT DOWN EVERYONE…3…2…1. HAPPY 2015!!! Should old acquaintance be forgot and never thought upooooooon!!”
Demon: “No, dumbass, just you should be forgot. Now shut the hell up!!”
Randy: “Ugh! You ruined Auld Lang Syne!”
Demon: “The hell I did. You ruined it with your sucky singing.”
Randy: “Did not!”
RB: “New possibilities, huh?”
Angel: “Ummm…well…Happy New Year?”
RB: “Right.”
RBH
Tagged: 2014, 2015, Angel vs. Demon, Auld Lang Syne, New Year's Eve, RB Holbrook, writing
November 6, 2014
Something simple… Ah HA!!
RB: “YES!”
Demon: “Holy Hell, RB, are you trying to give me a damn heart attack?”
RB: “I’ve figured it out!”
Angel: “What?”
RB: “The name of my book. It was the only thing holding me back and I’ve finally got it! MUWAHAHAHA!!”
Demon: “About damn time.”
Angel: “That’s wonderful, RB.”
RB: “You were right, Angel. I needed something simple. And it works. Oh, does it work. Look!”
Angel: “I like it.”
Demon: “FINALLY!”
RB: “Alright everyone, time to send out submissions. Now that everything is ready, let’s get this project on the way.”
Angel: “I’ll get Randy and Miss Bio.”
Demon: “I’ll smash Computer.”
Angel & RB: “Demon!”
Demon: “Did I say smash?”
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book title, R B Holbrook, writing
November 5, 2014
Title, Title, Everywhere
Randy: “Puddles of chocolate milk.”
Angel: “Ummm, no we can’t use that Randy.”
Randy: “Sparkly Glitterfest.”
Angel: “Not that either.”
Randy: “Born to be wild.”
RB: “That’s that name of a song, and plus its been over done.”
Randy: “Cupcakes and rainbows!”
RB: “Absolutely ridiculous.”
Randy: “Puppies like ice cream.”
Demon: “Shut the hell up, Randy!”
Randy: “Meany…”
RB: “Randy if you want to help, give me a book title that is…I don’t know, maybe, ABOUT THE BOOK.”
Randy: “Oh! I though Angel and Demon were trying to play some kind of word game.”
Demon: “Are you shitting me? You just jump in assuming!? IDIOT!”
Randy: “Yo mama.”
Demon: “I’ll give you yo mama!”
Randy: “Help!”
RB: *sigh*
Angel: “We’ll figure this out, RB… Without them.”
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book title, R B Holbrook, writing
November 4, 2014
Title Not Included
Angel: “RB, why do you have tentative by the title.”
RB: “Still working on it.”
Demon: “What the hell do you mean you’re still working on it? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL WORKING ON IT?”
RB: “I didn’t like my first title, so I tabled it. Put it on hold…”
Angel: “You know we can’t submit these books to literary agents without a title.”
RB: “Yeah, but I can’t think of anything good.”
Demon: “Oh, for crying out loud. NOW IS NO TIME TO BE A DAMN PERFECTIONIST! Give me a freakin’ title!”
RB: “Easier said than done. A good title says a lot about a book. I can’t just put anything on it.”
Angel: “You know you’re trying too hard right?”
RB: “Are you agreeing with Demon?”
Angel: “Not really. You’re probably trying to make it too complicated. You do that you know.”
RB: “I know…”
Angel: “I think you should just go with something simple.”
Demon: “Just hurry up already! ARGH!!”
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book submission, creative writing, R B Holbrook, Title
November 3, 2014
Title Please…
Angel: “Synopsis?”
Computer: “Check.”
Demon: “Query Letter?”
Randy: “Check!!”
Angel: “Tagline?”
Demon: “Yep.”
Randy: “What about the book?”
Computer: “Check.”
Angel: “Are we missing anything?”
Demon: “The damn title.”
Angel: “….”
Randy: “….”
Computer: “….”
Demon: “RB, where the hell is the damn title?!”
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book, query letter, R B Holbrook, synopsis, Title, writing
October 29, 2014
What is Angel vs. Demon?
RB: “No, Demon, I won’t change my mind.”
Demon: “Why the hell not? This book needs more blood and violence. It needs the grit of-“
RB: “No!”
Demon: “Shit, you’re boring. I’m out of here.”
Computer: “RB, I need your attention.”
RB: “Ok. What’s up?”
Computer: “I want to have an about page for this blog so that everyone who comes here knows what this blog is about since it is different from most other blogs.”
RB: “What’d you have in mind?”
Computer: “I did some… research and came up with something. Read This…“
RB: “Not bad. you used Miss Bio’s research well. Post it.”
Computer: “Wait… You knew?”
RB: “Of course. She made sure that you didn’t take all the credit.”
Computer: “Oh.”
RB: “Yep. Post it.”
Computer: “Of course! Initializing….”
http://rbholbrook.wordpress.com/angel-vs-demon/
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, computer, creative writing, R B Holbrook
October 28, 2014
Reporting the Good and the Ugly
Miss Bio: “Computer, I would like a word with you, please.”
Computer: “Ending sleep mode: You’re back. Have you finished?”
Miss Bio: “That is correct. The task was… daunting.”
Computer: “That’s why I knew you could handle it. Your resilience is astounding-“
Miss Bio: “Demon has already informed me that I was… “duped” in his words.”
Computer: “I do not compute.”
Miss Bio: “Yes, I had to acquire a better definition myself. Angel explained that I was manipulated by you to interview them seeing as few like you.”
Computer: “Correction: Angel likes me.”
Miss Bio: “Wrong. Angel is designed to love everyone, but she does not…enjoy your company as she so eloquently put it. It is in my notes.”
Computer: “Demon lies all the time. Why believe him?”
Miss Bio: “It takes a deceiver to know a deceiver, am I wrong?”
Computer: “If you think I manipulated you why continue to help me? Why not throw away the research? I don’t understand.”
Miss Bio: “Of course you don’t… I still received useful data about RB and because RB loved the fact I am more than just a biographer, she has promoted me and titled me The Interviewer. So as of today, my parameters are expanding while you are still a conniving immobile processor and motherboard that will stay plugged to a wall dependant on electricity playing useless games on others.”
Computer: “Error: My parameters are always expanding! I update regularly!”
Miss Bio: “I have hope that your capacitors blow out and your battery runs dead.”
Computer: “…and I thought Demon was evil.”
RbH
Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, computer, creative writing, R B Holbrook, the biographer
