R.B. Holbrook's Blog, page 11

NaNoFinMo

Angel: “RB! It’s November! Happy NaNoWriMo!!”

Demon: “What the hell is that? Some alien holiday?”

Rb: “National Novel Writing Month, but I don’t really participate.”

Angel: “But why not? You write.”

Rb: “Yes, all the time, so it really doesn’t do me much good. I mean, I’m all for the spirit of going out and starting that next great novel, but it doesn’t have the thrill for me as it does for so many other writers. I wish everyone taking part the best. But I’ve got my own work to do.”

Demon: “Yeah, Angel, you should be wishing RB a Happy NaHuTheHeUpAnFinMo.”

Rb: “I’m scared to ask, but what is that?”

Demon: “National Hurry The Hell Up And Finish Month.”

Angel: “How about we just shorten it and say National Novel Finish Month?”

Demon: “Doesn’t have the same punch to it.”

Angel: “But it gets the point across just the same.”

Rb: “Hoho, you both have jokes. Well the jokes on you, I’m already finished.”

Angel and Demon: “………WHAT!?!?“

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book, NaNoWriMo, novel, November, R B Holbrook, writing

Punctuation Summarization

Angel: “RB, we’ve finished our research.”

Rb: “That was fast. What did you find out?”

Angel: “Grammar is like a different language you have to spend time to understand and-”

Demon: “Grammar sucks.”

Angel: “A challenge to be sure. But I believe that those who understand it are invaluable.”

Demon: “They’re nerds.”

Angel: “Anyway, RB, here is the conclusion to our findings on how we can help you.”

Rb: Takes the report and reads it. “This is a list of editors.”

Demon: “Hell. Yeah.”

Angel: “More precisely, that is a list of experienced professionals who have a wealth of knowledge that can help people who want their writing polished.”

Demon: “In other words, you have to pay them to correct your shitty grammar.”

Rb: “Thanks anyway, Angel. Oh and Demon-”

Demon: “Yeah, I know, I know, Go to Hell. Some people are just soooo ungrateful.”

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, editing, editors, grammar, punctuation mark, R B Holbrook, writing

Just A Dash Will Do

Angel: “I think I like the dash.”

Demon: “You like everything.”

Angel: “Not…everything…”

Demon: “Hey! What was that look you just gave me?”

Angel: “It seems the dash can be used to highlight text. According to Grammar Girl dashes can be used instead of commas to emphasize text and can replace colons to expand a sentence to add an important statement. Also-”

Demon: “Were you trying to say you don’t like me, Angel? Huh?”

Angel: “I didn’t say it, Demon.”

Demon: “You implied it.”

Angel: “Demon, I love everybody including you.”

Demon: “Don’t give me that shit!”

Angel: “I just don’t like you.”

Demon: “Same damn thing!”

Angel: “No… it’s like saying I love you but I can’t live with you. Get it?”

Demon: “I hate you, too, dammit.”

Angel: “Should I be bothered with this obvious information?”

Demon: “Glib sarcasm!?!? Nice!“

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, dash, editing, grammar, punctuation mark, R B Holbrook, writing

Colonoscopy

Angel: “The colon is a punctuation mark used mostly in formal writing. According to the BYU Writing Center the colon signals to the reader to look forward to what is to follow the mark. And the clause that follows the colon must be a complete sentence.”

Demon: “Wow! More rules. The colon sure is shitty. Get it, shi-”

Angel: “DEMON! It’s not that kind of colon. Anyway the semicolon has a different set of rules. Let’s see… the semi-colon can replace and, but, or, yet joining two independent clauses. It can also be used to join two independent clauses when the last clause begins with a conjunctive adverb… Clauses? Conjunctive adverb? So many terms, I should be looking up more than just colon and semicolon-”

Demon: “Semicolon? Like part of a colon. Boy I feel sorry for the poor bastard who only has half a colon. I mean the shi-”

Angel: “NOT THAT KIND OF COLON! ARGH!!“

Demon: “Heh heh heh…“

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, colon, grammar, R B Holbrook, semicolon, writing

Too Many Rules!

Angel: “I’m starting to see why RB has a hard time with grammar.”

Demon: “Too many damned rules!”

Angel: “Exactly.”

Demon: “You agree? Huh?”

Angel: “Well… Look here…” Points to the computer screen, ”According to the Purdue OWL you’re supposed to use a comma before a conjunction, after an introductory phrase, to seperate lists in a sentence, to set off information not related to-”

Demon: “Too many damned things to remember!”

Angel: “It even mentions that most errors that people have to correct are comma usage, so RB isn’t alone.”

Demon: “I say scrap the whole system. Grammar is nothing but rules, and rules are bullshit.”

Angel: *sigh* “Demon, rules are necessary for certain situations.”

Demon: “Says Miss Goody-Goody. I say: Let Anarchy Rein!!“

Angel: “Of course you do.”

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: anarchy, Angel vs. Demon, comma, grammar, R B Holbrook, rules, writing

Weakest Link

Angel: “Still editing?”

Rb: “Still editing.”

Demon: ” ’cause RB sucks at grammar.”

Rb: “And you suck for rubbing it in.”

Demon: “No, you suck because-”

Angel: “Where are we, elementary school!?! RB what exactly is it about grammar that gives you problems.”

Rb: “Commas.”

Demon: “Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon. You come and go, you come and-”

Angel: “Karma not comma, Demon.”

Demon: “I know, but it works dammit.”

Angel: “Ugh! Rb, we’re going to fix that weakness and turn it into a strength. I’m going to do some research and help you with this problem.”

Demon: “Helping’s boring.”

Rb: “That’s nice of you, Angel. Also, look up information on colons, semicolons, and hyphens while you’re at it.”

Demon: “So boring…”

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, colon, comma, editing, grammar, karma chameleon, R B Holbrook, weakness, writing

The Latest and Not So Greatest

Randy: “Hi All! Hope things are hunky dory with all the readers out there.”

Demon: “Hunky dory? What the fu-”

Randy: “I’m sure you, the audience, would like to know what’s going on with RB lately?”

Demon: “No, not really. I could care less.”

Angel: “This update is for people who actually care, Demon. Now shush!”

Demon: “Hell, who says ‘shush‘ anymore. And what kind of shit is hunky dory?”

Randy: “Here’s Miss Bio with the latest about RB.”

Miss Bio: “It is The Biographer, Mr. Random Ness. Please make the necessary corrections,” Clears her throat, “To the reading audience, good day. RB, who had a cup of yogurt and an apple for breakfast before her hasty retreat out of the door this morning, is currently penning the final touches on her fourth book — the first book in a new series that will be targeted toward the young adult/new adult audience. RB exquisitely blends elements of science fiction with a fantasy based novel about… She still will not give me that information-”

Demon & Angel: “Figures.”

Miss Bio: “But RB is so diligent she has put much of her social media and blogging tasks aside to focus on completing this two-year project. Also, for repast RB had a bag of chili cheese fritos before-”

Demon: “Shit, this is going to take forever isn’t it? Let’s just rip the band-aid off this bitch and get it over with. HEY, RB, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AND HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE DAMMIT?! I’M TIRED OF WAITING ON YOUR ASS!“

Rb: “SHUT UP! I’M EDITING. DON’T BOTHER ME, DEMON!“

Demon: “There. That’s how a report should be. A nice pretty little nutshell. Now someone tell me what the hell is a hunky dory?”

Angel: *sigh*

Randy: “Thank you, Demon! That’s all for now folks.”

Miss Bio: “Wait. No. That is not-”

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book, editing, fantasy, hunky dory, R B Holbrook, report, sci-fi, the biographer, update, writing

Three Chapters of History… What?!

Demon: “What the hell is this? Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

RB: “Nope.”

Angel: “What’s going on?”

Demon: “Read this shit!” Demon shoves the papers at Angel.

Angel: “Don’t be rude, Demon,” She begins to read. “I don’t see the problem.”

Demon: “Damn. Of course you don’t, Ms. Attention-to-Detail, so I’ll point it out to you. RB has three damn chapters of nothing but history in her new manuscript! THREE DAMN CHAPTERS?!“

Angel: “Yes, but it’s written well, and it isn’t actually boring. Very informative, connects the plot elements, and-”

Demon: “If someone wants to read that much history in a fiction book, they need to pick up a non-fiction book. This is bull-”

RB: “The history isn’t non-fiction, Demon. It’s fictional history. And it’s relevant.”

Demon: “Condense it!”

RB: “This is condense.”

Angel: “Well… If you don’t mentions these areas… and these specific people and… How about highlighting only the key elements instead of drawing out the complete history? Spread it out a bit… maybe.”

RB: “I fear leaving out something important. And if I put it all together it makes it easy to go back to instead of spreading it out and making the reader forget what they read.”

Demon: “Bullshit is bullshit. Delete half of it. And throw a fight in there or some explosives.”

RB: “Hmmmmm… Fine, I’ll rework it and see where it goes.”

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, book, chapters, History, manuscript, R B Holbrook, revise, writing

Seers of River – Part 9 [End]

Randy: “Is this…?

Angel: “Yes, unfortunately.”

Randy: “Bittersweet I suppose.”

Demon: “Nope. Just sweet. The best part of the whole story. Woohoo!! Bring it on!

)+()+(

David stopped at a small underused motel one mile from St. Louis, Missouri. Under his seat was a semi-automatic the driver he stole the truck from kept hidden. The weapon was strapped to the bottom of the seat and used for the driver’s personal protection. David’s energy showed him that the truck’s owner lined drugs inside of the furniture he was transporting. His supplier wouldn’t be happy about missing this shipment.

The gun accompanied him when he exited the truck. He didn’t stop at the front desk, because he learned from his visions there was a motel room with a broken lock. This was a room they never rented out.

Once inside the poorly kept room, he tried to rest, but he was wound too tight. He sat up on the bed, turned on the television, and began flipping from channel to channel to occupy his mind.

There was nothing he wanted to see, nothing that could keep his mind from what he knew. Seers were dying, being killed for the things their visions showed them of the future. A darkness was falling over the Structure and the world — a darkness harolding death. And that darkness was sending assassins after him. Not just any assassin if the myth about Demon’s Wrath was true. The best was coming for him.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, masking his energy. The technique had saved his life so far and would save him again. He had to believe that.

He had to sleep, but that was the last thing on his mind. He felt safer running, than sitting in that room. Unfortunately, his body refused to go further and his mind was barely keeping lucid thoughts.

He steadied his breathing, meditating, until he calmed himself to sleep. What woke him was a knock on the door.

Without a word, he pulled the gun from the side-table.

“David?” A smoky voice called. He recognized that voice. No way! DJ. Alive?

“Maybe he’s not here,” A female voice said.

Irene. David got up from the bed.

“My visions say otherwise,” DJ said.

“DJ?” He finally called back.

The lights went out. The midday sun faded from the windows. David held his gun out toward the walls closing in on him. Darkness swallowed him. He fired at the thick black around him again and again. A high pitch wail made him cover his ears. With the gun in his hand, he couldn’t cover his right ear enough to drown out the devastating sound. He dropped the weapon to cover it better. The noise was a searing pain screeching against his eardrum sending agony down his spine. Something reached out to him — a dark hand darker than black.

You thought you could run? Thoughts invaded his mind. So many voices — wailing, screeching, moaning voices taunted his existance. The evil hand wrapped around his neck.

He shut his eyes, trying to block out what he was seeing. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. It was just an illusion. It had to be. Nothing was this vile. Nothing. “Help me!” He tried to yell but the moment he opened his mouth something foul slithered down his throat. Sickeningly sweet odors assaulted his nostrils.

His eyes shot open. His heart skipped. Before him, Hell opened up. Evil itself stood beautifully curved, a pure black oily image surrounded by and engulfed in flames that were inviting him to play. The being called to him, seducing him closer with a sensual terror that paralyzed him.

David. David. You can’t run, David.

He tried to close his eyes again, but no, the taint was in his eyes, mind, throat, nose, and the twisting pain in his chest. The oily flames danced closer both terrible and wonderful. Closer, as heat sizzled the hairs on his skin. The soulless depths of the devil’s eyes stared at him with a joy that made his cry with need.

Dropping to his knees, he wanted to plead for life or death, but his voice was raw. No. No! This was wrong. He needed to run, but the fires were too close, too scorching. The demand to shut his eyes and close out the torture weighed on his mind and aching heart. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t.

That’s right. You’re just tired

That’s right he fell asleep. This was a dream. He was dreaming. A bad dream… damned nightmare. All he needed to do was close his eyes and then wake up.

Close his eyes.

And wake up.

It wasn’t real.

Close my eyes.

Close your eyes

Close my eyes.

He reached up to his eyes.

That’s right, claws your eyes.

)+()+(

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, fiction, Oracle's Legacy, scifi, Seers of River, short story, writing

Seers of River – Part 8

Randy: “Two weeks without proper rest? That can cause stress to the body.”

Angel: “And the mind. But the nature of their powers can sustain them longer than normal humans.”

Randy: “True.”

Demon: “Stop yapping and keep reading. You haven’t gotten to the good part yet.”

^^{}^^

Going into the third week, David couldn’t keep running — fatigue was nagging him. It was time to stop and actually get some real sleep. Parked outside of a truck stop, he lifted his pelvis and took the credit card from his back pocket. He studied it for a bit trying to think of a way to get what he need without drawing attention to himself. Flipping the plastic in his fingers he stared up at the convenience store window. He searched the establishment wishing for a miracle, a sign, a hint, or just… a tattoo?

One of the waitresses packing up for the night had a tattoo on her arm. Well, it looked like a tattoo. It was actually the seal of the House of Blade. That was his sign. He got out of his car, entered the restaurant area, and walked up to the woman.

“Good evening,” He said holding out his hand to shake, leaning his neck to the side to show her the markings of his River seal. That was the only way she would know he was like her, both from the Structure.

She eyed him for a moment, then sniffed before wrinkling up her nose.“I’m guessing you need help?” She lifted an eyebrow. “And a shower?”

He chuckled nervously. “Actually, if you could… or if you happen to know the closest Blade–”

“Look, sweetie, I might have the seal, but that doesn’t mean I know people. I barely have power.”

She was just a normal citizen who liked to keep below the radar. Fine. But he could still use her.

“Fair enough. But maybe a little spending change.”

She narrowed her eyes. As she looked down at the credit card in his hand.

“I can’t use it or I would have.” He defended himself.

“Stanley, get this man a meal.” She yelled to a waiter. “Put it on my tab.” She pulled her purse open and handed him twenty dollars. “There are showers in the back. They cost a couple of dollars to rent. I swear the things I get myself into.”

“Th-thank you! Thank you, Tina.”

“And plus you’re cute.” She blushed before shrugging. She cleared her throat. “Um, take care.” Her lips twisted into a bit of a smile. “Wait. How did you know my name?”

He tapped the markings on his neck. He could see her past as vivid as if he had lived it himself.

“Right.” She nodded walking pass him to leave. “I wish mine were as cool.”

No she didn’t. His powers got him into this mess.

David thanked her again before she left out the door waving.

He gobbled the food brought to him in a white paper bag — a burger and fries. Then he washed himself as best he could with the liquid soap in the stall’s soap dispenser.

Afterward, he put his clothes back on and was about to exit the shower when he heard voices out in the hall.

“The car is outside. It was the one he was driving. Stolen from an old lady in Kansas City.”

David immediate made sure his energy was still secure and hidden. It had to be his pursuers, Mary didn’t know where he was. Maybe it was Blade, they had excellent trackers. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, he stayed close to the shower wall, listening.

“His energy isn’t here though,” Another voice said. “He must have ditched the car and found other transportation.”

“It’s taking too long to erase him.”

Erase? Death no matter what? He knew, yet he hoped, for nothing.

“We’ve already passed our deadline.”

There was a curse.

Silence.

Then, “We have to call Demon’s Wrath.”

David stopped breathing. Demon’s Wrath. Demon’s Wrath! Not just any assassin. The best assassin, according to legend. Demon’s Wrath was just a part of the Structure’s folklore. There was no such thing. David tried to search the past for answers, and got only boogie man stories. Demon’s Wrath didn’t exist. Maybe it was a code word or something.

After the voices and footsteps faded, he quickly and cautiously left the showers. He got lucky and found a truck with the keys still inside. He hopped in, and headed to the closest base he knew Mary Alexander owned — St. Louis. He thought he had hidden his tracks well, but it wasn’t well enough. Whoever was after him, they weren’t going to give up until he was dead.

^^{}^^

RbH

Filed under: Angel vs. Demon Blog Tagged: Angel vs. Demon, fiction, R B Holbrook, scifi, short story, writing