And That’s Why I’m Single Quotes

“Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“When people try to rain on your parade,...pee on theirs”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“positivity is the father of reinvention”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“I have a keen sense of the oblivious”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the rhetorical question”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Don't you wish some people came with a silencer?”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Don't be so hard on yourself....that's what a loofah's for”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried”
― josh stern , And That’s Why I’m Single

“In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Death is life's way of telling you, you've been recalled”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control”
― josh stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“To acknowledge the absurdly surreal is the clarity to embrace life as it is, not as we desire it- what you do with this information, hell if I know”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Karma can be an ill-timed mistress who always calls when your Mother-in-law is the first to answer the phone…. and it would be a completely sad story had it not been so surreally hilarious.  ”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Having a life expectancy is just part of being self-entitled”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single

“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?”
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single