Grant a Wish, Drop a Curse Showing 1,701-1,750 of 2,927

[Luna]

granted but price surges are way too high, there's no more lunch money.

I wish I have a new green car.

[Barbara]

Granted but it would get stolen the very first night you have it, and quickly shipped to Hong Kong.

I wish I could have red hair for a week.

[Kimberly]

Granted but for some reason your nose is now permanently red like Rudolph The Rednose Reindeer.

I wish the temperatures would never go above 95.

[Barbara]

Granted but the temperatures would plunge to minus 50 degrees.

I wish my car was washed and looked nice and clean.

[Ted]

granted, but the interior smells of mildew from the a/c vents

i wish the stray cat who adopted my family would stop sneezing

[Barbara]

Granted but the cat would shed so much you'd have to plow through 3 inches of hair

I wish I could have free dental care.

[Ted]

granted, but you get pre-owned dental appliances

i wish i had a seafood pizza snack

[Barbara]

Granted but the seafood is bad and gives you food poisoning.

I wish I had glittery hairclips.

[Kimberly]

Granted but now you get really bad dandruffs that looks like your hair is snowing every time you move.

I wish racism would end and everyone in this world got along.

[Barbara]

Granted but then there'd be no people at all.

I wish I had a lemon meringue pie.

[Luna]

Granted but it would cause hyperglycemia and you need to go to the ER.

I wish there are no abused women and children.

[Barbara]

Granted but you'll get cold sores on your mouth.

I wish my dog wouldn't shed so much hair.

[Kimberly]

Granted but now the dog pees on your bed every day.

I wish my books were bestsellers.

[Barbara]

Granted but they'd be printed on such cheap paper that they'd fall apart before anyone could read them.

I wish I had a nice big umbrella.

[Joyce]

Granted, but the line is so long to reach the peak, you give up and go back.

I wish the State I live in did not have such a high cost of living rate.

[Kimberly]

Granted but now you lose your job and land on the street with no money to buy a home.

I wish I had a 3 day vacation and it would not storm or rain during those 3 days.

[Barbara]

Granted but you'd come down with the flu and be sick for all three days.

I wish I had some new blinds for my windows.

[Kimberly]

Granted but now you have a huge hole in your ceiling and can't afford to get it fixed because you bought new blinds.

I wish I had a cold soda right now.

[Barbara]

Granted but when you open the bottle, it will spew out all over the place.

I wish I had an Apple watch.

[Kimberly]

Granted but it gets stolen soon as you get it.

I wish I never had any medical problems for the rest of my life.

[Barbara]

Granted but there would be so much jealousy that fights would break out all over the place.

I wish everyone would recycle.

[Kimberly]

Granted but now every soap is made from recycled items and it gives you a terrible rash.

I wish I was shorter.

[miscellaneous]

Granted. From now on, we'll just call you Kimb.

I wish the Fall would hurry up and fall.

[Kimberly]

Granted but the sky also begins to fall and everyone is forced to stay inside their homes until it stops falling or die.

I wish Michelle Obama would run for president and win.

[Barbara]

Granted but nasty critics would make her want to run off to Australia forever.

I wish someone would wash my car once a week for free.

[Luna]

Granted but you're going to have a flat tire once a week in the middle of rush hour.

I wish I have a house by the beach.

[Kimberly]

Granted but it gets destroyed by a hurricane and every time you rebuild it, it keeps getting destroyed by a hurricane.

I wish I was a parent.

[Kimberly]

Granted but your hair falls out and your breath permanently smells like garlic.

I wish it was Christmas.

[Barbara]

Granted but you won't get any gifts.

I wish there were more trees around my apartment complex.

[Allerglance]

Granted, but more birds will steal your bread.


I wish I could go to the beach.

[Luna]

Granted but it will be raining the whole time with huge waves and strong winds.

I wish I have an on-call masseuse.

[Ted]

granted, but masseuse is an amputee & uses feet for massaging

i wish nights weren't so humid

[miscellaneous]

Granted, but your eyeballs get so dry they pop out of your head and you spend the entire morning trying to find them.

I wish raccoons would stay off my roof!

[Ted]

:D ^harsh

granted, but they make nest in your underwear drawer

i wish i could have cheese cake for breakfast, lunch & snacks without getting sick

[Kimberly]

Granted but it makes your skin turn purple.

I wish I worked for a magazine company.

[[deleted user]]

granted but you will have no hands.

I wish to be humble

[Allerglance]

Melody wrote: "granted but you will have no hands.

I wish to be humble"

Granted, but everyone treats it as sarcasm

I wish to see a frog

[Ted]

granted, but the frog turned into princess fiona with shrek ears the moment you clapped eyes on it

i wish it would start drizzling tonight, just before bedtime

[miscellaneous]

Granted, but it's drizzling sap and you will wake up stuck to yourself.

*really hard to do with no eyeballs*

I wish my cats would get along.

[Allerglance]

miscellaneous wrote: "Granted, but it's drizzling sap and you will wake up stuck to yourself.

*really hard to do with no eyeballs*

I wish my cats would get along."

Granted, but they secretly plan your demise beneath-literally as you read a book

I wish my basil could grow

[miscellaneous]

Granted, but your basil is tired of being pressured and runs away with your parsley.

I wish there was a way to empty my shredder without static Klingons flying everywhere.

[Ted]

granted, but klingon shredder survivors retaliate by shredding your cats & making catburgers of them

i wish i didn't have to use antiperspirant

[miscellaneous]

Granted, but you now attract shredded zombie cats.

I wish I had a catburger with lettuce tomato and mayo on a toasted bulkie roll with a side of fries and a small vanilla shake.

[Ted]

granted , but you get bulkier ++ & misshapen [& cats have mistaken you for a sack of catfood

i wish i could exercise at least 15 mins once a week

[miscellaneous]

Granted, and at that rate, you'll be in really great shape when you're 120.

I wish I could dance all night.

[Ted]

lol 121 please, & able to carry 1kg bag of toilet paper

granted, but you fall asleep on your feet while snoring & the rest of you twitching spasmodically on the dance floor like a low-batt mr. roboto

i wish i could exercise for 5 mins & not break a sweat

[miscellaneous]

*Re: Curse. And that would be different how?*

Granted, but you have to pee every 4 minutes.

I wish I woke up in the morning in a decent mood.

[Ted]

+1year & 1kg tp in lieu of dumbbell for weightbearing exercise

granted, but you make up for it by being bipolar-nasty to everyone from noon to bedtime

i wish movie makers would make a prequel to guardians of the galaxy vol. 1

[miscellaneous]

Granted, but it spun out of control and is now in your driveway.

I wish they'd hurry up and make Guardians of the Galaxy 3!

[Ted]

granted, but the cast would consist of supercentenarian actors in lead roles

i wish they'd make Guardians of the Galaxy 3 with a flashback scene showing the main characters as galaxy-hopping toddlers