Waitress Quotes

“A man who goes into a restaurant and blatantly disrespects the servers shows a strong discontent with his own being. Deep down he knows that restaurant service is the closest thing he will ever experience to being served like a king.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream

“When we are true to ourselves, and follow these impulses that sweat from our compressed and broken souls we may just find the beauty, and the oh-so amazing way life can sneak up and smash us in the face!”
― Danielle Rohr, Denali Skies

“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”
― Adrienne Shelly

“I had a dream about you. You were a stranger playing a gig in this pub where I was waitressing. I felt like I knew you or needed to, so I asked you to have a few drinks with me. Then my alarm went off. I sat up in bed to see you still sleeping. I’m glad I decided to wear a kilt that summer while I was in school.”
― Crystal Hudson, Dreaming is for lovers

“I was a really good waitress. Waitressing takes a certain gusto. You need a good memory and an ability to connect with people fast. You have to learn how to treat the kitchen as well as you treat the customers. You have to figure out which crazy people to listen to and which crazy people to ignore. I loved waiting tables because when you cashed out at the end of the night your job was truly over. You wiped down your section and paid out your busboy and you knew your work was done.”
― Amy Poehler

“The Y Not had a waitress named Shirley who was the most disagreeable person I have ever met. Whatever you ordered, she would look at you as if you had asked to borrow her car to take her daughter to Tijuana for a filthy weekend.
‘You want what?’ she would say.
‘A pork tenderloin and onion rings,’ you would repeat apologetically. ‘Please, Shirley. If it’s not too much trouble. When you get a minute.’
Shirley would stare at you for up to five minutes, as if memorizing your features for the police report, then scrawl your order on a pad and shout out to the cook in that curious dopey lingo they always used in diners, ‘Two loose stools and a dead dog’s schlong,’ or whatever.
In a Hollywood movie Shirley would have been played by Marjorie Main. She would have been gruff and bossy, but you would have seen in an instant that inside her ample bosom there beat a heart of pure gold. If you unexpectedly gave her a birthday present she would blush and say, ‘Aw, ya shouldana oughtana done it, ya big palooka.’ If you gave Shirley a birthday present she would just say, ‘What the fuck's this?' Shirley, alas, didn’t have a heart of gold.”
― Bill Bryson, Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe

“He began to prefer talking on the phone to actually getting together with someone, preferred the bodilessness of it, and started to turn down social engagements. He didn't want to actually sit across from someone in a restaurant, look at their face, and eat food. He wanted to turn away, not deal with the face, have the waitress bring them two tin cans and some string so they could just converse, in a faceless dialogue.”
― Lorrie Moore, Like Life

“She was willing a little bit of sweated labour, incapable of betraying the slogan of her slavers, that since the customer or sucker was paying for his gutrot ten times what it cost to produce and five times what it cost to fling in his face, it was only reasonable to defer to his complaints up to but not exceeding fifty per cent of his exploitation.”
― Samuel Beckett, Murphy

“I’d rather be a happy Hooters waitress than a depressed out-of-work actor.”
― Lauren Beukes, Broken Monsters

“Somewhere a girl is working as a waitress in a new city, clean break and sees a guy who got stood up on a blind date.

She never tells him why the clean break, why the move, they date and then the wedding is called off years later.

This happens once a week somewhere in America.”
― stained hanes, 94,000 Wasps in a Trench Coat

“While the drinks may be complimentary at an open bar, the service isn't. Remember to tip the bartenders, waiters, and waitresses who are working hard to keep your experience enjoyable.”
― Jason Langella

“You better get used to touchy-feely around here, sweetie”
― Alex Rosa, Emotionally Compromised

“The waitress serving the wedding party was a short young blonde. She took their orders efficiently and delivered everyone’s food correctly. "If
only she knew my story," Melora mused. then she thought again, "Better yet,
maybe she’s in the middle of her own story." Who knew what things might have
happened already on the island to this typical college-age waitress.”
― Marie Zhuikov, Plover Landing

“The waitress serving the wedding party was a short young blonde. She took their orders efficiently and delivered everyone’s food correctly. "If only she knew my story," Melora mused. then she thought again, "Better yet, maybe she’s in the middle of her own story." Who knew what things might have happened already on the island to this typical college-age waitress.”
― Marie Zhuikov, Plover Landing

“Sure. And you say hi to Dory, ‘k? C’mon Will – let’s get you to the Sheriff. I need a cold one.”
“Yippee.” Said Will, not exactly brimming over with enthusiasm.
Timaset Skooch reached across the table and packed the notes together. He counted them out too. Seven thousand credits! Then he scooped the coins and the (ugh) gold tooth into an empty glass for the waitress. Seven thousand credits! But what was the plastic slip under it all?”
― Christina Engela, Loderunner

“...everyone holding a check pad is an aspiring something-else.”
― Mandy Ashcraft, Small Orange Fruit

“Grizzled white men poured drinks and dispensed dubious wisdom. Young white women in tight clothes delivered the food and the smiles and said "sorry" all the time. Short brown men cooked it all and cleaned it all up, and still managed to rise above the racial oppression of the United states to make kissing sounds at us waitresses whenever we were in the kitchen.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“We have three weeks left, before the season will end, and this will end, and everyone will go, and it will never be again, at least not with us, and the way we are together. So, we have these nights, and we hold them so tightly, so dearly in our hearts.”
― Danielle Rohr, Denali Skies

“He gave her his best smile. He loved women who brought him food. Even when they were plain and unattractive, like this dumpy, pockmarked girl, he loved them.”
― Laura Lippman, What the Dead Know

“I hold doors open for people and tip twenty percent. I would never be rude or condescend to anyone in the service industry trying to support a family on minimum wage. I don’t like these bullies running around treating decent people like dispensable cogs. These guys take a waiter or a schoolteacher and stand on their necks until they’re nearly suffocated.”
― Nick Drnaso, Sabrina

“Like royalty disguised in rags, those who live to serve undertake a higher calling which most folks overlook.”
― Criss Jami

“Waitressing: [...] She was a very old soul, which meant that her life was driven by love and not ego. [...] She, on a soul level, had decided to commit a huge part of her life to serving people, to being kind and caring and wouldn't seek a lot of attention for it. The work was its own reward.”
― Sonia Choquette, The Psychic Pathway: A Workbook for Reawakening the Voice of Your Soul

“Then, in the horribly dead-silent room, a lone fly made a pinging noise against the stained glass window. Its high-pitched buzzing filled the voiceless room while the dumb insect buried itself in a corner.

Pastor James Edwards first sermon”
― Margie Bayer , The Killdeer Song

“My southern Restaurant complaint:
"it's not ice tea without ice.”
― Wyatt B. Pringle, Jr.

“Tiana balanced a stack of flapjacks, two bowls of grits, and five orders of pillowy-soft beignets on a serving tray. She squeezed through the narrow paths between the tables, carefully dodging pointy elbows and protruding feet. The café was packed to the gills with hungry, bleary-eyed customers who'd spent the night either kicking up their heels in the taverns or working the overnight shift in one of the factories in the French Quarter.”
― Elizabeth Lim, A Twisted Tale Anthology

“It was 42 degrees outside. It was hell on earth. Naturally, once we got inside the cafe, I immediately ordered a cold beer. The waitress had the kind of facial expression that said, “Kill me, please.” Which I liked for I could relate with it. What I didn’t like were waitresses that gave you that big old American bullshit smile, that fake smile. Fuck that; being a waitress sucks ass. Especially in the middle of nowhere for low pay. So why the fuck were they supposed to treat you like royalty?”
― Keijo Kangur, Heaven and Hell: South Africa