Florida Quotes

Quotes tagged as "florida" (showing 1-30 of 53)
Rick Riordan
“Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ”
Rick Riordan

Tim Dorsey
“But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink Floyd (the early Piper at the Gates of Dawn line up), scientific breakthroughs, spiritual revolution, utopian visions, zany nationalism that kills millions- wait, that’s the bad kind. Tim Dorsey (Hurricane Punch)”
Tim Dorsey, Hurricane Punch

Tim Dorsey
“There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange trees. Every month an eighty-year-old couple became lost in the groves, driving up and down identical rows for days until they were spotted by helicopter or another tourist on top of the Citrus Tower. They had lived on nothing but oranges and come out of the trees drilled on vitamin C and checked into the honeymoon suite at the nearest bed-and-breakfast.
"The Miami Seaquarium put in a monorail and rockets started going off at Cape Canaveral, making us feel like we were on the frontier of the future. Disney bought up everything north of Lake Okeechobee, preparing to shove the future down our throats sideways.
"Things evolved rapidly! Missile silos in Cuba. Bales on the beach. Alligators are almost extinct and then they aren't. Juntas hanging shingles in Boca Raton. Richard Nixon and Bebe Rebozo skinny-dipping off Key Biscayne. We atone for atrocities against the INdians by playing Bingo. Shark fetuses in formaldehyde jars, roadside gecko farms, tourists waddling around waffle houses like flocks of flightless birds. And before we know it, we have The New Florida, underplanned, overbuilt and ripe for a killer hurricane that'll knock that giant geodesic dome at Epcot down the trunpike like a golf ball, a solid one-wood by Buckminster Fuller.
"I am the native and this is my home. Faded pastels, and Spanish tiles constantly slipping off roofs, shattering on the sidewalk. Dogs with mange and skateboard punks with mange roaming through yards, knocking over garbage cans. Lunatics wandering the streets at night, talking about spaceships. Bail bondsmen wake me up at three A.M. looking for the last tenant. Next door, a mail-order bride is clubbed by a smelly ma in a mechanic's shirt. Cats violently mate under my windows and rats break-dance in the drop ceiling. And I'm lying in bed with a broken air conditioner, sweating and sipping lemonade through a straw. And I'm thinking, geez, this used to be a great state.
"You wanna come to Florida? You get a discount on theme-park tickets and find out you just bough a time share. Or maybe you end up at Cape Canaveral, sitting in a field for a week as a space shuttle launch is canceled six times. And suddenly vacation is over, you have to catch a plane, and you see the shuttle take off on TV at the airport. But you keep coming back, year after year, and one day you find you're eighty years old driving through an orange grove.”
Tim Dorsey, Florida Roadkill

Tim Dorsey
“A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida.

Then it got weird.”
Tim Dorsey, Pineapple Grenade

Ransom Riggs
“I emerged into the sticky-hot evening to find Ricky smoking on the hood of his battered car. Something about his mud-encrusted boots and the way he let smoke curl from his lips and how the sinking sun lit his green hair reminded me of a punk, redneck James Dean. He was all of those things, a bizarre cross-pollination of subcultures possible only in South Florida.”
Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Randy Wayne White
“I had a werewolf morning. Awoke with a rum hangover, imagined blood on the walls, and prayed to god it was mine.”
Randy Wayne White, Ten Thousand Islands

Tucker Max
“The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".”
Tucker Max

Carl Hiaasen
“But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls.”
Carl Hiaasen, Strip Tease

Jennifer L. Armentrout
“While living in Florida I realized that I could never stay there, because it’s so damn hot. There’s only like three months when you don’t feel like you’re on the cusp of hell.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, Till Death

Allan Gurganus
“The tree feels splintery, nasty to my touch; it feels Floridian, more reptile than vegetable, more stucco than stone. I do loathe this state, their Elba.”
Allan Gurganus, Plays Well with Others

Tamara Lush
“This is everything I thought I didn't want. Or didn't need. But I'm here now and it's everything I need and the only thing I want.”
Tamara Lush, Hot Shade

Sol Luckman
“The fireworks went on for nearly half an hour, great pulsing strobes, fiery dandelions and starbursts of light brightening both sky and water. It was hard to tell which was reality and which was reflection, as if there were two displays, above and below, going on simultaneously—one in space-time, mused Max, and the other in time-space.”
Sol Luckman, Snooze: A Story of Awakening

Beatriz Williams
“To Florida -- its dreamers, its builders, its mavericks, and its scoundrels. (Sometimes all four at.)”
Beatriz Williams, Cocoa Beach

Heather Sellers
“The railing of the balcony was cold but the blue-black night air was so warm in October, in Florida, it felt as if it could hold you, all that wetness like a blanket of kisses.”
Heather Sellers

Tim Dorsey
“An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper.

One of the firefighters look at the other. "Not again.”
Tim Dorsey, When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State

Caspar Vega
“Having Miami in a state like Florida makes no sense. You may as well put Los Angeles in the middle of Arkansas. It's not connected, it's just bright and loud and big and... there.”
Caspar Vega, Southern Dust

Tamara Lush
“Have you thought about what will happen when you start living the life that's right for you, instead of the one you promised to live for someone else?”
Tamara Lush

“Plenty of things in the universe are old, my dear. That's like saying Florida is a metaphor for hell because they're both hot - though your grandfather would agree wholeheartedly with that, I suppose.”
Sammy Nickalls, Welcome Home

Dave Barry
“Natives of the Florida Keys often refer to themselves as Conchs, and for good reason: They have been drinking.”
Dave Barry, Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland

Tim Dorsey
“Yes Serge has killed a lot of people , but let's not overlook all of his other accomplishments.”
Tim Dorsey

Susan Orlean
“Sometimes I think I've figured out some order in the universe, but then I find myself in Florida, swamped by incongruity and paradox, and I have to start all over again.”
Susan Orlean, The Orchid Thief: A True Story of Beauty and Obsession

Patricia Engel
“This is Florida, where they're cool about putting people to death”
Patricia Engel, The Veins of the Ocean

Douglas Coupland
“Wade tried to imagine Florida before the advent of man, but couldn't. The landscape seemed too thoroughly colonized -- the trailers, factory outlets, and cocktail shacks of the world below. He decided that if human beings took over the moon, they'd probably just turn it into Florida.”
Douglas Coupland

Dave Barry
“Under Florida's "stand your ground" law, it is legal to shoot anybody for any reason as long as you are standing on the ground.”
Dave Barry, Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland

Tressa Graves
“Huggies from my Juggies”
Tressa Graves

Lafcadio Hearn
“Then a scream of steam, a mighty jolt; and the thunder-rattle recommences, and the train again begins to rock in mad storms of dust and smoke, and the red sun ignites a stupendous conflagration behind the pillars of the pines. At last, under the moon, there is another shriek of steam; the wheels slacken, rumble jerkingly, then roll slowly and silently, as if muffled, with occasional squeak, and pause with a final shock; while through hastily opened windows and doors, a strong cool air dashes in,—the breath of the great St. Johns River, sweetened by mingling with the mightier breath of the sea, and bearing with it scent of orange flowers and odors of magnolia.

And in the purple night, under the palpitation of stars, Jacksonville opens all her electric eyes.”
Lafcadio Hearn, Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist

Lafcadio Hearn
“How divine the coming of the morning,—the coming of the Sun,—exorcising the shadowy terrors of the night with infinite restoration of color! I look upon the woods, and they are not the same: the palms have vanished; the cypresses have fled away; trees young and comely and brightly green replace them. A hand is laid upon my shoulder,—the hand of the gray Captain: 'Go forward, and see what you have never seen before.' Even as he speaks, our boat, turning sharply, steams out of the green water into—what can I call it?—a flood of fluid crystal,—a river of molten diamond,—a current of liquid light?”
Lafcadio Hearn, Leaves from the Diary of an Impressionist

“A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who can make himself disappear isn't safe, who is?”
Colin Quinn, The Coloring Book: A Comedian Solves Race Relations in America

Stefanie Payne
“Most don't enter through a gated entrance as is done at so many other national parks, but through invisible passageways by sea.”
Stefanie Payne, A Year in the National Parks: The Greatest American Road Trip

“Personal injury lawsuits are filed by people (or their representatives) injured due to the negligence of someone else. The injury may be either physical or emotional, and it can arise from a variety of sources or types of conduct.Some of the most common types of personal injury cases include slip and fall,
automobile accidents, assaults and battery, medical malpractice, and product liability. In general, the goal of a personal injury action is to determine who was responsible and to compel the responsible party to compensate the injured person for the losses sustained
South Florida Personal Injury Law Firm”

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