S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 81

Disclaimer and Apology…

I just want to say something after a comment I received from a reader that has unsettled me a little. I do think this person may be a bit of a troll because what they said didn’t seem warranted for the post they posted on, but never the less, I feel I need to say something…



Any of the posts I put out (on my sites or social media etc) are advice from my heart. They are things that have worked for me, or seem important to me, or that I believe could help someone.



As with anything on the internet, it is just advice and it’s often from personal experience. As with all advice, it’s a take it or leave it kind of thing. No one is forcing you to take it on board. Read it, and decide for yourself if it works for your life and your beliefs – simple, right?



So, if I ever offend anyone or come off as giving “half-baked” advice or that I’m “partially sighted leading the blind” then I apologise. All I ever intend to do is help and share information that has helped me.



But yeah, as a writer, I know my work will often be criticised and I understand that. But I felt I needed to say this just in case…


Take care.
x

Opening Up About My Insecurities

We all have insecurities, these negative self-beliefs that hinder our outlook on the world and how we live. These can be all sorts of things, but I bet there’s quite a few that are common among all of us.

Here, I’ve opened up about my own insecurities with the aim at bringing them into the light so that I can combat them, as well as help you all feel less alone in your horrid insecurities, too.

My appearance: I don’t like the way I look a lot of the time. I don’t know how to style my hair, do my makeup, or wear clothes that feel stylish and ME. I don’t often look in the mirror and feel happy with who’s looking back.
My intellect: there’s a big belief in my mind that just because I don’t have a university degree, that I am less than a lot of people. That I am dumb. That I don’t know enough. I compare what I know to others and always see myself as the less smart out of the two of us.
My writing ability: again, I always compare my own writing to what I read, or what I see from my writer friends. I get annoyed at myself for not crafting what I imagine. I don’t feel like a good enough writer, which is so difficult when this is not only my career and passion, but also a big part of my identity.
My anxiety: I feel like the fact that I have anxiety, means I will always be limited in my life. I’ll never quite get anywhere. And I also feel like it’s this ugly label that causes people to judge me negatively.
My likability: a big part of my social anxiety is the belief that I am boring and not as good as other people. This is less so now, thankfully, but I still have a big insecurity about my likability. That people will never like me as much as my sister, my brother, my boyfriend, my friends…
That I’m behind people: I believe, sometimes, that I am trotting behind everyone else. That my brother and sister are ahead of me in terms of life experience and intellect. I believe I’m behind my friends and acquaintances who have degrees or good careers. I believe I’m just not at the level I should be at.
That I’m boring…
That I’m not good enough…
That’s I’m not capable enough…
That I’m not interesting or fun enough…
That I don’t know enough general knowledge…
That I’m not a woman, but instead a girl…
That I speak poorly…
That I’m not a good girlfriend…
That I’m not brave enough to become successful…
That I’m not the idea of a best-selling author, so I never will be one…
That I don’t have a style or look or any individuality…
That I don’t know what I’m doing, truly, and people will see that…
That I don’t have anything of real value to give and share…

Despite my insecurities, though, I keep trying. I try to ignore them, change them, work on them, or at least be aware that they’re there and that some of the things I do or feel come from my insecurities, instead of external factors.

It is so important to look within not outward when a bad situation occurs.

I see these insecurities, and I know you have your own. The worst thing you can do is not be aware that they’re there, because I bet they are controlling your life behind the scenes.

For example, I’ve gotten angry at my boyfriend for not helping me cook. Initially, I snapped a bit. But then I looked within and realised that I wasn’t angry at him for not helping me, I was really angry at myself for needing his help because I’d made a mistake with the recipe. I then apologised to him, explained why I snapped, and we hugged it out. He also apologised to me anyway. We avoided a bad situation, didn’t hold on to anger, and both had a great meal afterwards!

The crisis was averted because I was able to look within and spot where my anger truly came from. And then I was able to admit it and fix the situation with maturity.

I’m not saying I’m perfect at this. I’m far from it. But it’s an effective, healthy way to live and I suggest you start doing the same.

For you, and for your relationships and your life.

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

How to Do a Boring Task Effectively

I have quite a few things in my life that are “boring” to do, but nonetheless, they need to be done. We all have those tasks, right? For me, it’s writing pieces that aren’t in my niche (topics that I love) and editing my writing extensively – these are my biggest boring tasks that I HAVE to do.

So, the other day, I wrote out a few ways I could make these boring tasks a little less boring, and a lot easier to tackle. And so, I thought I’d share it with you guys…

Here are a few ways that you can make a boring task more manageable:

Change up your environment – move around, change sitting positions, face a different way, etc.
Give yourself rewards for reaching milestones – like a YouTube video break after editing a chapter, or a coffee break when you’ve written a boring piece, or TV watching permission
Listen to music (using headphones helps me to concentrate better as well, rather than playing the audio out loud)
Listen to podcasts
Listen to an audiobook
Change up the way you do it, e.g. the layout or where you start from; think outside the box
Use headphones to help you zone in
Look good doing it!
Take breaks (regularly, of course, but don’t get silly; like don’t take a break after every paragraph or it won’t get done!)
Break it down into smaller chunks – like instead of writing or editing a whole chapter, do it scene by scene; or reading a boring text? Don’t do a whole chapter or the whole book, just say “I’ll read 3 pages” or whatever is smaller
Don’t spread out the task, whack it out in smaller timeframes – I used to do a boring piece of work once a day, but that just made my whole week boring. Now, I whack out two days (or three if I don’t finish it) of the boring tasks, leaving the other days to do the fun stuff!
Have a work buddy
Do your work outdoors
If you are a remote worker, change where you work from – coffee shops, libraries, home, friend’s house, park, living room, bedroom, kitchen, garden, and so on

 

Good luck!

SRC x

If you want to hire me to write or edit for you, don’t hesitate to contact me! I’m sure I can help you, and I’d be glad to discuss what you’re after. Get in touch now!

Extensive Decluttering & The Mind

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Lately, I’ve been Decluttering my space. Like a lot. So much so, in fact, my mom was actually worried about me. But she should have been the opposite – she should have been happy for me.

For decluttering and getting rid of unnecessary things is wonderfully healthy for the mind.

I’m still surprised that I’ve just packed up 2.5 bin bags worth of clothes, even after having had multiple decluttering sessions over the last two months. But this just goes to show how much money and space I wasted with unnecessary clothing (amongst other things).

A clothing item is put in the bag if they tick one or more of these boxes:

I haven’t worn it in the last year
It’s worn out, stained, or generally not in good condition
I can’t think of an occasion or multiple outfits that it could go with
It does not “spark joy“, in the words of Marie Kondo (although I admit, I’ve not read this amazing book on tidying up)

Do you see? So the things that I’ve thrown away just aren’t things I want or need to carry into the new life I wish to build for myself. In fact, if I had the money, I’d probably throw out most of my current clothes and start afresh.

But I digress.

Why should you declutter your environment?

Good for anxiety and depression relief
Good for your overall mental health
Cleanliness is always a good thing
Clean and clear space = clean and clear mind
Productivity
Home beauty
Space
Awareness
Self-expression
Closure and freedom
Easier to generally maintain your home
Reinventing yourself and your space
Out with the old, in with the new

Here are ways you can declutter, too…

Decluttering your wardrobe

As I said, this one is a biggy . If you’re like me and you used to love clothes shopping, I bet there’s plenty of items you can donate to charity or sell online.

Start with your chest of drawers or a smaller space then work your way to your wardrobe. Get rid of anything that you wouldn’t want to wear now if you could. Get rid of things that don’t make you feel good. Clothes are an expression of the self, so think about that before keeping items that don’t spark joy. And lastly, get rid of things that you’ve not worn in the last 6 months.

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Decluttering your bookshelf

Don’t keep books just to keep them! If you’ve read it and you didn’t even like it or love it, what are you keeping it for?! Donate it and let someone else read it. I try to only keep books I haven’t yet read (and want to read) or books that really resonate with me/are collector’s items, like the Harry Potter series and the Song of Ice and Fire series.

Decluttering your shelves

Don’t be that guy who fills their shelf with useless crap. If something isn’t needed or isn’t beautiful, why is it sitting on your shelf? Get rid of it, and make your surface a cleared, neater space.

Decluttering your desk

Get rid of old papers.
Get rid of used notebooks.
Get rid of pens that don’t work.
Stationary you don’t use.
Then tidy the remaining things into an organised fashion

Decluttering your DVDs

No one watches DVDs anymore, do they? We have Netflix and Amazon Prime and basically digital files of films that we can keep. Don’t be a hoarder and keep DVDs that you don’t watch or really care about. The only ones you can keep are special collector’s items that mean something to you. If not, chuck it! Get the digital version and free up your space.

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Decluttering your cosmetics and lotions

I bet you have old, unused, and gift item cosmetics and lotions in your drawers and on your desk. Well, you know what to do.

Check the expiry date – get rid of expired items
Get rid of anything you haven’t used in the last 6 months

Decluttering that drawer, you know the one

We all have a drawer that’s just full of all that junk that seems useful at the time so you keep it, but it never is. Well, be ruthless and dig into the drawer and really ask yourself “what am I keeping this for?” If you don’t have a solid answer, bin it.

Then, organise whatever’s left.

Decluttering your apps

Get rid of apps you don’t use
Get rid of apps you have “just in case”; you can always download it again when you actually need it

Decluttering your social media

Unfollow accounts and people that don’t make you happy or inspire you
Unfollow accounts that make you feel jealous, upset, or bothered in any way
Unfollow people you follow just because you knew them from school, or because you want to be nosy – don’t be that person, move on
Turn off notifications from social media – so that you’ll look on their less

Decluttering your nooks and crannies

There is no real need for random things to be stuffed into nooks and crannies. Those spaces should be clear. Simple.

Decluttering your email subscriptions

No one likes waking up to 100 emails. So, take some time to unsubscribe from all of those sites that you thought you cared about but it turns out you don’t.

Delete old emails that you don’t need. Organise and categorise for ease of consumption, too.

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Extras:

Your Amazon wishlist
Your music on Spotify (or wherever)
Your spice rack
Your photos on your phone
Your notes in your notes app (or notebooks)
Your Tupperware
Your freezer food that has been there for way too long and you know no one will eat!
Your cupboard tops
Your purse: receipts, cards you don’t use, etc
Your bedding – washed out, wrong size, unused, don’t “spark joy“
Your used and chipped and not-favourite mugs
Your childhood teddies and toys
Your old games (board games or video games)
Your unused cables and wires
Your unused and unwanted gifts – it’s sad and you feel mean but it’s just clutter and mess in your life so do what you have to do
Your old birthday cards – what is the sense in keeping those?
Your posters that don’t spark joy or look good or fit who you are today or who you want to become

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All in all, there are soooooo many ways you can declutter your space. And you need to do this for your own health and happiness. Plus, it looks great! A less cluttered home gives more room to those things that actually make you feel good. Plus, it’s easier to clean and will make you want to invite people over!

Donate, sell, and throw out meaningless junk. Free yourself…

Don’t be put off by this long list. It’s easier than it seems when you break it all down into manageable tasks over a month or two. Don’t try to do it in one day! And remember, once you start, it becomes an itch and you just can’t stop! So, all you have to do is start.

Good luck!

How to Get Out of a Low Mood

The other day, I’d been in a low mood, hence the “when I’m low” post before this one. But I’ve worked hard to get myself out of that low mood. As a seasoned person with anxiety and depression, I’m used to low moods. But that also means I’ve gathered tools to get myself out of them…

Breathe

The first thing I say to anyone who comes to me feeling anxious or low is to simply breathe. There’s nothing better than taking a moment to stop, halt the thoughts, and consciously breathe. Just taking 3 deep breaths helps you to focus again and get yourself out of that toxic loop of thoughts.

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Get up

The next thing you need to do is get up. Whether it’s first thing in the morning or midday or whatever, you need to get up. Get out of bed, get off the sofa, get up out of the office chair, whatever. Just get up; force yourself to do that simple but important task.

Scrap the to-dos and write a “done” list

This one works better later in the day, but if you’re like me and you have set to-dos for each day, you will need to scrap them when you’re in a low mood. The to-dos will only serve as a reminder that you are being unproductive and aren’t doing what you set out to. Therefore, get rid of that sheet that’s making you feel worse. Instead, write down whatever you have done today. I got up. I read a bit. I showered. I ate. I started my work. Anything. Just write it down and realise that you’ve done things today even if they’re not the “right” things. And keep adding to the list as your day goes on. Soon, your productivity will come back to you and you’ll stop feeling so low.

Get out that space

Whatever space you’ve been in whilst the low mood has festered, get up out of it. Move. Preferably, go outside. Getting out in the fresh air and taking a break or going for a healthy walk or jog will do wonders in resetting your mindset. When we sit and fester in toxic waters, we have only ourselves to blame for our low mood and ill feelings.

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Do something fun

Because duh, fun things lift our moods. Whatever is fun for you, do it. Do it because you have to. Do it for you. Do it unapologetically and say “this is okay, I need this right now.”

Remember

Remeber that you’re okay. It’s not a bad life or bad week, it’s just a bad hour or bad day. There’s always tomorrow. And remind yourself that you’re pretty awesome. Remind yourself of how hard you work. Remind yourself of your achievements. Show some gratitude towards all the things you’ve been blessed with, and hold that dear. It’s not a bad life.

Find inspiration

I watch YouTubers or read good books or listen to podcasts to find my inspiration. They will say things that lift my mood and get me motivated again, even if only a little. That little bit could be what helps you complete a task, so actively find that motivation and inspiration; then, let it fill you.

Better still, have these things readily available for such occasions as this. I have a book full of happy things that will lift my mood. I have YouTube videos in my “watch later” list so I can easily watch what I know is good for me without being distracted by other videos.

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Put good things into your body

Try your best not to give in to the cravings for junk food. Most of us love those unhealthy snacks when we’re in a low mood. I don’t blame you, I’m the same. But try to resist because the food will have the opposite effect. I won’t make you feel better, it’ll make you feel worse.

Instead, opt for your favourite fruit. Or have your favourite hot beverage. This way, you’re having something tasty but in a slightly healthier way. I settle cravings with coffee for now, a healthier alternative until the cravings subside.

Find people

Another great thing to do is find some people. Don’t sit alone. If you’re feeling low, get up and go to the shops to be around people. Go to a coffeeshop. Sit with your partner or sister or mom. Go for a walk in the park. Call someone. Or at a lack of all these options, at least have voices around you. These could be TV characters (ideally a show you like), a podcast, music, or YouTube. The voices, the conversations, the laughter (potentially), or the insight will really help.

When we’re in quiet and we’re alone, our thoughts are louder. It’s okay that they’re there, that’s natural, but we needn’t listen to them. So drown them out with other people and healthier voices.

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Correct the lingo

If you’re anything like me, when you’re in a low mood you spend your time beating yourself up. You’re this and that and a failure, right?

Wrong!

You’re only human. Even the best people have bad days. Oprah has bad days. Beyoncé has bad days. J. K. Rowling has bad days. They’re human and so are you. You’re allowed to have a day when not everything goes to plan. Stop beating yourself up about it, because that only makes it worse and will probably cause your bad day to seep into a bad week.

Instead, correct the lingo. Say, “I’m having one of those days and that’s okay. Instead of doing this and that, I will instead try to do at least one of those things and be proud of myself for it.” See? Better!

Force it, Fix it

The biggest thing to do when you’re in a low mood is to recognise it, pause it, ask yourself why, tackle that why, then force a shift. It will take force, because low moods are pretty stubborn. But force some changes or movements or little things that you can do to be productive even if they’re not the “right” things to do. Like spending the day reading instead of working is okay. At least reading is a healthy, productive activity, even if it’s not particularly what you should be doing. Get it? Journalling freely is the best way to see how you’re feeling and why, and then fix it, too.

Good luck. I’m sorry you’re in this low mood, but I promise you that it won’t last, just like mine didn’t. Take care.

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If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

When I’m Low…

I hit the snooze button, over and over again.

I snap and lash at my partner and my family.

I eat a lot.

Or not enough.

I procrastinate.

Then I beat myself up for being unproductive.

I cry, a lot.

I tell myself that I’m this and I’m that, only using the ugly words, of course.

I get angry at myself for being this way.

I sit in the dark and the grey.

I wear comfy clothes and don’t bother with makeup or doing my hair.

I put off the “healthy morning routine” of reading, yoga, exercise and meditation.

I feel this dry, stinging in my eyes.

I just want to sleep the day away.

I look at my work or plans for the day and sigh, knowing they’ll go undone.

I hate myself and cry every time a little thing goes wrong.

I watch tv and say, “f*ck it, I don’t care.”

But I do care; that’s the problem.

I care that I’m unproductive.

I care that I woke up late.

I care that I was aiming to do this and that and feel great but I don’t.

I care that I ate those biscuits when I shouldn’t have.

I care that I have a deadline coming up that I want to meet so badly.

I care that it’s 11am and my to-do list has only one tick.

I care too much.

And so I’m angry. So angry.

When I’m low, I’m not me. When I’m low, everything slows down. When I low, all my emotions shoot to the surface. And it feels so overwhelming. And it feels like it’ll last forever.

Luckily, though, it won’t.

It never does.

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Guest Post from Sonam Patel “Mental Health is Dismissed Within My Culture”

*This is a guest post from a fellow mental health advocate.*

Mental health was not a term known to me until around two years ago. I didn’t know anything about the importance of your own wellbeing, nor did I understand the devastating impact it would have on people I know. If I know anything about mental health issues it’s through my own research after a conversation with colleagues or friends. Whilst I love my heritage, the reason I knew nothing of about it is probably down to my culture and community.

The western world, by and large, has now accepted mental illness as a serious issue and a strong focus is on how to conduct conversations around the topic. However, in my culture, South-Asian, mental health isn’t seen as an issue at all. It’s dismissed as something made up, an over-dramatic illusion so you can be signed off work, or an excuse used by ‘sad’ people. It doesn’t matter that this ‘made-up’ illness has taken away the potential for many of us to be the best version of ourselves.

It’s not acknowledged that having a mental illness can be overwhelming, indescribable and isolating – often all at once. Nor will anyone tell you that mental illness is more than depression – there’s anxiety, OCD, psychosis, and many more forms. Even though 1 in 4 of us will suffer from a mental illness at any given time, it’s not considered something that’s worth talking about because if we haven’t been doing it all this time, why start now?

By now most of us will have read that a mental illness can affect anyone at any point in life, with or without a trigger. What many do not talk about, at least openly, is how damaging certain attitudes dominant in our culture can be when we are struggling with our mental health. The constant judging over your appearance, intelligence, or life choices. Being compared to your cousins or a family friend throughout your entire life. The taunts. The fear of what other people might say. The nosiness. The lack of acceptance when you want to try something new. The ridicule of failure. The fact that a child or young person cannot be left ‘to be’ and develop a personality of their own.

It is for all these reasons that we need to take mental health seriously, and ensure the next generation are not subjected to the same behaviours as us. Whether you initiate that difficult conversation with a loved one or challenge an outdated attitude. Whether you correct an elder when they dismiss mental illness or focus on the mental wellbeing, and not just the exam marks, of your children. Removing the stigma from something so firmly entrenched is going to take effort. It won’t happen straight away but it won’t happen at all if we don’t make a start. There is so much to be proud of from our heritage and culture but it is time we phase out the mindset most of us grew up with and replace it with one of awareness and acceptance.

-Sonam Patel (guest post)

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Change Your Language & Receive Abundance

The following advice will help you to shift your mindset and your vocabulary from a place of desperation and fear and anger and need and lack and longing, to a place of encouragement and acceptance and fulfilment and gratitude and trust – which will then create peace within yourself, strength, and the ability to then manifest what you want…

Words and phrases to stop using:

I want
I wish
I need
I just need this or that
I will be OK when…
I failed
I’m a failure
I’m stupid
Stupid idiot!
Of course this would happen to me
Control (I am not in control; if only I could control…)
I’m so annoying
Why am I always like this?
I can’t
I won’t ever
They’re better than me
I don’t know who I am
I don’t like myself
I hate myself
I’m a loser
I can’t do anything right
I’m a screw-up
I don’t have time
I don’t know how

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Words and phrases to start using right now:

I have enough now
I choose to be happy now
I am grateful for what I have and who I am now
I will have this…
I will do that…
It’s OK
Try again tomorrow
Just breathe
I’ve got this
I am on the right path
Everything happens for a reason
I’m not alone
Not a failure, just a lesson
I trust myself
I trust my path
This too shall pass
I have this or that coming to me
I am not desperate
I am not a victim
There’s nothing I need

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Some great words I’m trying to embody at the moment towards a healthier mind and spirit (and you can too):

Healing
Devotion
Calm
Spirit
Shift
Peace
Motion
Intentions
Abundance
Have
Enough
Passing clouds (thoughts)
Focus
Awareness
Ease
Choice
Power
Lessons
Empowerment
Acceptance
Breath
Alignment
Beauty
Attention
Ask
Now
Flow
Manifest
Sense
Belief
Environment
Listen
Silence
Creativity
Support
Colour
See
Open
Witness
Guide
Balance
Giving
Visualisation
Life
Gratitude
Plants
Story
Grow
Clarity
Freedom
Presence
Patience
Vibes
Stillness
Water
Light
Elements
Perspective
Less
Trust
Cleanliness
Higher self
Universe
Development
Unravelling
Truth
Discovery
Self
Calling
Within
Forgiveness
Energy
Vibrations
Rise
Four Brothers (Intelligence, Friendship, Poetry, & Strength – From Eat, Pray, Love)

There’s so much power in the words we use on ourselves, about our lives, and about others. This is whether they are said out loud or just to ourselves in our minds. Words can be water or they can be poison, so be careful what you use on your garden. There’s only one way it will grow…

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

 

The Universe is Working its Magic

Things are coming together in my life. It’s not like I’m in an AMAZING place, but I’m in a good place and I feel like the universe is putting things into place, in this wonderful order that will bring the necessary change I’ve been seeking…

I am a new self-employed worker so my financial situation isn’t great. This means I’m forced to live within a new set of means. This means being frugal. This has helped me to finally start being more minimal because I literally can’t buy more things!
I have also put on weight. This isn’t good, but I see what the universe is doing. I’m not at a weight that I want to be, and so I don’t see the point in buying new clothes to suit this size that I don’t want to be. And so, I’m not buying new clothes! This is great to help my minimal living desires. It also pushes me to lose the weight, so that eventually I can buy clothes that fit the size I want to be, and by then I’ll be enjoying the minimal living and so I’ll only buy clothes that genuinely are “necessary” or spark joy.
The lack of money is good for my health, too. I literally can’t afford takeaways, so I’m cooking like I’ve always wanted to do. I’m trying new things. I’m buying fruit and veg which is more affordable than other foods.
Being forced to be frugal has helped me to get serious about my money. I now track my money regularly. I spend less on rash items. I never online clothes shop. I look for the cheaper options, like I used to buy the paperbacks of whatever book I was interested in. But now, I ask myself if I’m 100% going to read it. I then check if it’s cheaper on Kindle. I also check if it’s available on World of Books, an online second-hand bookshop. My new situation, though hard, has helped me be smarter with my money.
Being self-employed has made me great serious about time management.
Being self-employed has helped me to finally set the lifestyle I want, and develop habits that I’ve wanted for years but have never been able to cultivate.

So, the universe is working its magic. I heard me say “I want to change my lifestyle” and so it’s working to provide that for me this year. One thing is leading to another and another in a beautiful, life changing chain of events.

All of these things coming together like this is helping my mind to heal and grow. This has been a big thing that I’ve wanted for so long…

Thank you, universe, for your magic. I’m grateful, I’m ready, and I’m aware.

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Fighting Back Against Anxiety & Depression

Previously, I wrote about the affects of anxiety and depression. I wrote about what they stopped me from doing and how they have limited me. Here, I’m going to show how I’ve fought back. What they didn’t stop me from doing, and what I achieved despite their affects…

How I’ve fought back against Anxiety and Depression (past and present):

Progress: I know this contradicts what I said before, about being unable to progress when you’re feeling anxious or depressed, but forcing it really helps. This is no easy task, but progressing in any positive way helps to remind yourself that you are capable, you are living, and you can get out of this bad state towards something better.
Acceptance: the only way to get through the illnesses, or at least suppress them, is to accept that they are there. Don’t fight them; it makes it worse. Accept that they’re there, you’re in a bad way, but it won’t be forever. Finally doing this helped me open up about A & D as well as begin fixing it through therapy and my own self-care techniques.
Moving: you have to try to force yourself to be active. You have to go places, go for walks, exercise, stretch with yoga or pilates, and generally get your body moving. This helps with endorphins and dopamine which fights back against anxiety, stress and depression.
Getting up: I had to force myself out of bed, even if it was just to the sofa or my mom’s bed or my partner’s house. You have to get out of that space where you allow yourself to sink, and get out of your head by being in a new space.
Indulging: in these periods, I allow myself to be a little naughty at times and indulge, just to bring myself back to appreciating pleasure. This is with nice foods, bingeing Netflix, or something like that. It helps you remember what it’s like to feel good.
Communicating: the best thing I ever did was speak up about how I was feeling. This was to my mom, my siblings, my teachers, and eventually several therapists at different times in my life. Once I said the words, and said them again, I was finally able to bring the illness into the light. I helped me to deal with it, accept it, and gain other people’s perspective on it, too. And of course, therapy helps so much with your own understanding, as well as techniques to help yourself cope.
Looking inside: More recently, I think, I’ve learned that looking within helps so much with managing or alleviating mental illness. This is because I’ve been able to identify my own insecurities, recurring thoughts, fears, limitations, wants and desires by doing this. Then when you identify these things, you’re able to fix them.
Lists: I love lists. Lists have saved me time and time again. Lists help me focus and move forwards. Lists help me gain perspective by writing out what I have, what I’ve done, and what I want. Lists are something I write every day, and with my mind (illness or not) this is life-saving.
My craft: by never letting go of my writing, despite how far I fell, I have saved myself from drowning completely. It has been my lifeboat. It has helped me to pull my thoughts into reality, and defeat them or understand them better. It has helped me escape from my situation and just disappear into another world. And honestly, it has helped remind me that I can do something worthwhile.
Time: the best thing you can do is give yourself time to heal. Because it does take time, but you will get better at coping.

My achievements despite the affects of Anxiety and Depression:

Writing books: It is no easy thing to write a book. It’s a wonderful but complicated thing to do that takes a lot of discipline, revisions, and WORK. Being fragile with anxiety and depression made doing this difficult, but on the other hand, doing this saved me, too.
Publishing books: I’ve self-published (so this means not only writing books, but editing, designing, and marketing them, too) 3 books at various points whilst suffering from depression and anxiety in my life.
Loving my partner: I have been unlovable, I admit, but I’m so lucky and grateful to have a partner who didn’t abandon me or make me feel bad for how I was feeling. But I am proud of myself for not pushing him away even though I felt like doing so, and for even being able to support him in his time of need when I was weak myself.
Supporting others: whilst ill, I wrote a self-help book, and then ran a support group, and even hosted my own mental health awareness event in 2016. I was weak and unsure and barely healing, but I put my energy into supporting others and that, I believe, also helped me get out of that state.
Travelling alone: even though my life is riddled with anxiety, I pushed myself to go and see the world. It may have been a short trip, and it may not have been as far as some people go, but I did it. It’s my achievement, and I’ll have that forever. Knowing that I can challenge myself in this way, despite “who I am” and how often I overthink myself into oblivion, is important information to know about myself.
Travelling period: even when going away with others, I’ve had so much fear about so many things. But I’ve gone. I’ve always got on the plane.
Doing my GCSEs (well): depressed, anxious, and barely sleeping, I completed my GCSEs to a good standard. I was sleeping in my teachers’ offices, and was given some special measures (sitting at the back) in order to do it, but I got it done.
Doing the international baccalaureate (well): the same goes for my college level of education.
Pursuing my dreams: I’ve not stopped; simple. No matter what comes my way, no matter how hard A & D fight against me, I’ve kept going in the pursuit of my dreams. And I know…I always will.

I hope you keep fighting, for it’s a battle that can be won. Millions win every day, and I have time and time again. Keep fighting, friend, you’re stronger than you think.

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.

If you want to hire me to write about mental health (or other), then don’t hesitate to get in touch!