S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 84

Mental Health Awareness

When you do the every day/week things that you do for your physical health, be aware that there are many easy ways to do things towards bettering your mental health, too. And you should be doing these things in order to be truly healthy and happy in your life.

So, when you think about doing a basic thing for your physical health, why not think of these things for your mental health, too?

…

Cardio -> good for mental health, too

Plenty of water -> mindfulness

Walking -> get outside

Muscle work out -> journaling

Moisturise -> meditation

Exfoliate -> yoga

Sun block -> travel

Fruit -> deep, rhythmic breaths

Veg -> discuss feelings

Hair cut -> socialise

Nail trim -> negative thought challenging

Massage -> good for both

Vitamins -> stretch

Doctor check up -> if you’re suffering from anxiety, depression, or odd unnatural thoughts, speak to your doctor

Anti- allergy medication -> soothing baths

Face masks -> change up your environment

Wash hair -> watch something good

Brush hair -> read

Brush teeth -> detach from negative people

Shower -> declutter

Good sleep -> good for both

Dress well -> good for both

Not too much screen time -> good for both

Move throughout the day -> cup of calming tea

Cleaning your ears -> make good plans!

Eyebrows shaped -> travel

More = acupuncture, new experiences, lists, self kindness, favourite things, you-time, and more…

There’s so much more that I haven’t put here that you can try, too. Make these a part of your daily routine and you’re on to a win! Incorporate your own self-care routines into your life, then when the mental health difficulties do come, you’ll be better equipped to deal with it.

You’re As Mad As I Am get your copy here of my self help book here, which helps you cope better with anxiety, depression and stress.

Or if you wish to hire me to write about mental health (or something else) contact me.

Take care.

Our Trip to Portugal: Part Two

Here’s the details from the other half of our trip…

Airbnb

Ever since I decided to travel for myself, I have stayed (or tried to) in AirBnbs. If you’ve never used it, give it a try. You can opt to stay in a house, a spare room, or a shared room depending on your budget. It is the perfect way to travel on a budget because you can get a great little home for half the price of a hotel (at times). And it makes for a unique experience, where you feel like a local rather than a tourist using a hotel.

Our AirBnb was a studio “apartment” with its own mini dining table, mini sofa, microwave, hob, kettle, double bed, sink, big bathroom, small cable tv, amazing entrance with stairs and a mini garden, and it even came was a three-legged dog that we named Champion (this is from a tv show called Parks and Recreation, go watch it; my brother’s girlfriend mentioned it and it just stuck for the whole trip!)

We loved it. It was close to the beach, about a 10-minute drive, and so we ended up going to Praia da Faro 4 times. It had cafes and shops close-by, too. The best thing was that it was close to the airport, so when we had to wake up at 5am, we didn’t have far to go in the Uber to catch our flight.

I am so grateful to Julio, our host, as he suggested we visit Sagres, which is right at the end of the South of Portugal. I had planned for us to drive to Albufeira and Lagos,  but I didn’t think Sagres was close enough to Faro. It was Julio who said it would be worth the 2-hour drive, and so we did it. And he was so right. We saw sights like no other…

AirBnb

Nature

Aside from the food, or perhaps alongside the food, the best thing was the nature we saw. I read a quote recently that said, “Everyone should have themselves regularly overwhelmed by nature.” I feel that it was so apt that I read this whilst we were away, because I was incredibly overwhelmed by what I saw.

I am a very emotional person. I love and hate this about myself. But it was only a good thing that I was emotion when myself and Patrick got out of our car, wrapped up in jackets and jeans, and then ascended the hill to find the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my life. Sagres, where we were, is called “The End of the World” which is so appropriately named. I felt like I was looking at the end of the world, over the cliffside, and staring out at the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean. Seeing the edges of the cliffside, cut by the waves that weren’t vicious, but instead glorious.

I haven’t travelled far. I haven’t seen much. There are so many times that I have felt like the world is against me, and that it is ugly, and that it is unfair. But that view proved me ever so wrong. It showed me that my problems are so, so small. That I am capable of so much more than I realise. And that the world can never, ever be truly ugly. The sea may be cutting those rocks, but in doing so, it is creating something so wonderful. If nature can be that beautiful, how can the cuts from my life be seen as ugly?

Thank you, nature, for showing me that when I truly needed it.

Then Lagos gave us the opportunity to explore and sit amongst the rock formations, looking over the edge at the ocean, the boats, the waves washing over the rocks, and the cloudless sky above. It was…ineffable.

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Communication

We learned a few Portuguese phrases before our trip. These were “hello”, “do you speak English?”, and “thank you”. The whole trip, we said hello and thank you, of course. But we hadn’t yet used our key phrase, “do you speak English?” And so, I made it my duty to do so. When we were ordering our lunch at McDonald’s, I went up to the counter and ever so bravely and fluidly said “Voce fala Ingles?” I felt like a rockstar, I’m not going to lie! The young man smiled and said that he did speak a little bit (which I understood because it kind of sounded like Pequeno which is “a little” in Spanish, which I learned in my GCSEs!)

I loved that throughout the whole trip, I found myself saying “that word’s like such-and-such in Spanish.” My 16-year-old self was coming out, remembering the language I used to love learning. I received a B grade for Spanish in my GCSEs, and apparently, a lot of the words had stuck with me, even if I didn’t realise it. Thank you, Portugal, for reminding me that I love foreign languages. I really hope I can kick myself into gear and start learning more languages and brush-up on the Spanish, French, and Japanese that I already know parts of.

Sightseeing

Of course, no trip abroad is complete without sightseeing. We spend some time on the beach, chilling and reading and having a tussle. We parasailed and went on a boat to see the coastline caves and the vastness of the ocean. But we also had to look around at the monuments, the culture, and the town.

We were staying in Faro, and so we looked around their Old Town. This didn’t take long, as there’s not much to see really. We loved the rickety old trains, the marina, the pastel coloured buildings, the graffiti, the statues, and the cathedral. It was awesome to eat whilst we looked over at the ocean, watching boats bob atop the gentle waves. In Lagos, we looked around their town a bit, too. It was amazing to just wonder and accidentally find hidden gems like cacti, palm trees (huge and miniature), dogs and cats, dirt paths leading to the water’s edge, and gelato shops.

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All in all, Portugal was just what I needed, right when I needed it. I got to relax under the sun, sand in-between my toes and tickling my back. I got to read without feeling like I was getting a quick chapter in before bed or before starting my work. I just got to read unapologetically, with no time limit. I got to not only see the ocean, not only put a foot in the ocean, not only brave the waves of the ocean on a bobbing sickly boat, but also see the ocean from 80m in the sky on the parasailing! That’s pretty incredible.

I got to eat, and eat well. I got to sing along to the radio on the best road-trip-like journeys I’ve ever been on. And most of all, I got to do it all with my best friend. We changed and grew and experienced it all together, which is all I ever want for us. There is no one else I would have wanted to scream with in the air in the parachute or marvel at the rock formations that were Google-picture-worthy.

Thank you for the trip of a lifetime, and here’s to many more!

Our Trip to Portugal: Part One

We have just come back from Portugal, and I for one had a great time – to say the least. It was the best holiday I’ve ever been on, full of so much than the basics. It wasn’t just chillin’ on the beach. It wasn’t just sightseeing. It wasn’t all adrenaline and thrill-seeking, either. It was a beautiful blend of them all in one amazing 5-day treat.

I’m going to segment the trip into sections that best describe what happened. So, let’s begin…

Fears

Oh, there were so many fears. Firstly, there was the night before we left. My sister had not long left for Thailand to travel alone for a month. I was scared for her and missed her already, and so it had brought on my anxiety. I was feeling overwhelmed by everything that was going on, and it made me afraid to go on the trip.

There was nothing scary about it, because I’d planned it out and knew there would be food that I liked and where the Airbnb was, so I had nothing to fear. Yet my mind was doing overtime, and my body was alight with anxiety.

During the flight I was okay-ish, and when we arrived – thankfully – I felt excited. We collected our hire car and we were a-go. I felt good. It was only now and then that I worried again, like when we first ate.

Before every meal, I got a little worried – naturally, as a socially anxious person who has trouble with public eating. The next time I got dreadfully anxious was on the first night. Well, I’m not sure I was anxious but I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep again and had to keep going to the bathroom. It set me back and was unnerving.

But I was good again in the daytime, and ate so well, and had so much fun. The only other times I got scared was the night before the boat trip and then the night before going home, too.

I don’t do boats, like not at all. And so naturally, I was incredibly terrified to go on one for 2 whole hours. And our flight was leaving at 7:30am and so we had to leave the Airbnb at 5:15am and the early rise worried me in case we missed it.

But we didn’t.

I had fears, but none of them changed the trip or made me opt out of anything. I let them be, felt the fear, and did what I wanted to do anyway. So, go me.

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Driving

Patrick, my partner, was the driver for the trip. And he was amazing. Truly faultless (don’t tell him I said that). They drive on the right-hand side, and the steering wheel is on the left, so he had to get used to that. But there was no getting used to it for him, he took to it right away like a pro.

Driving in Portugal, well the Algarve, is definitely a must. We were able to visit 4 cities in our 5 days because of it. This was Faro (where we landed and stayed), Sagres, Lagos, and Albufeira. The driving gave us the opportunity to do this, and made the trip truly worthwhile.

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Adrenaline

The highlight of the trip was also a terrifying element of the trip. We went parasailing. Now, this was incredible. I’ve always been intrigued by certain extreme sports or thrill-inducing activities, but I haven’t had the chance to try them out and I’ve not had much nerve, either. But when I saw that it was a possibility with the same company that we were using to go on the boat to see the caves on the coast and the dolphins, I saw it as a sign. “Siana, it’s time you did something awesome…” And I listened, despite being afraid.

I like that good-afraid feeling. The feeling of being scared to do something, but knowing that the something you’re about to do is going to be great. I for one want more of those feelings in my life, and I’m so glad that Portugal provided several of those feelings. The parasailing, the boat and caves, the driving around, the cliffside sights, and the food.

The views when parasailing was breathtaking and it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime sight. I know my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles, didn’t get to see what I saw. They’re travelled a little, but not as much as I plan to. I’m able to see the world, unlike them, and so it is my duty to see it. And be changed by every moment of it.

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Culture

We found it odd that there were so many stray dogs and cats. Even dogs that did have owners were walking in and out of their gates just like our cats do! It was weird but cool at the same time. I also liked that in the shops, they have open dog food bags where you can scoop-up a Tupperware tub of dog food and feed the stray dogs. So cool!

There was a sea of white buildings everywhere, too, that acted like a blank canvas for the many graffiti artists in Algarve. Our buildings in the UK are so different and distinct that you can tell a shop from a house and so on. But not in Portugal. We had to really look to find shops or restaurants. Everything blended into one another which was nice for the scenery, but annoying when you were hungry!

The people of Portugal were all lovely. The service was immense for the most part. Even when we used Uber on the last day after we’d given the car back, we realised that Uber is way better in Portugal than in the UK. Everyone was lovely. The drivers asked if the temperature was OK for us; they offered us sweets. And the best part was…we had our first female driver! How great is that?!

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Food

The best thing about the trip was the food – hands down. As you know, I haven’t always had a great relationship with food. I’ve always been a “fussy eater” and I’ve been socially anxious in restaurants since I was a teen.

But not this time.

No. I ate so much good food on the trip, not ordering the safe thing on the menu and eating it all with ease in public. And every day, we tried fish. This is huge as we’re new to fish. And I even ate a fish with it’s head on! It felt immense. It was euphoric! It was truly life-changing for me. I’m so proud of myself, and I hope it’s a sign of things to come…

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Stay tuned for part two where I talk more about what we did and what we saw…

 

“My Author Journey” Part One: First Fantasy Book Publication (Ash Born)

So, I met up with a writer-friend yesterday (she’s a freelance writer like myself) and she gave me some great advice. It was simple advice, sure, but effective. She said I need to talk about my work more. To shout-out about my achievements. And so, this post is about me shouting-out. Actually, there will be a series of posts about my bragging, because there’s kind of a lot to say…

I’ll start with “Ash Born“. Anyone who has followed my journey or known me for a while should have heard of “Ash Born” at least once. If not, I really have failed it. Ash Born is the first book I ever published, well, it wasn’t always known by this name.

Wind back to 2013, when the book was first released in September, Ash Born was known as “No Secrets“. Yes, I know, this isn’t as cool a title; that’s exactly why I changed it! But back in 2013, I was a mere teenager. I was 18 years old, and I had just finished college and I was meant to be going off to university. For reasons I needn’t go into (for it’s irrelevant), I decided against university at the time.

No Secrets was born when I was about 14 years old. It was a much smaller “book” at the time, and I had only shown it to my mom, my sister, and my book-lover friend at school. My friend loved it and she was the first person to truly give me any confidence in my writing. My cousin’s fiance, at the time, was an English graduate and so he helped to edit the book over some time, too. It was finally becoming something.

Fast forward to when I’m 16, and I have this “book” that I’ve been working on (on and off) for years now. This book was quite obviously something special to me – otherwise, I would have dropped it and moved on to something else long ago, like I had done with all the other stories I’d written since I was about 8 years old. My mom thought it was something special, too, and so our excited little selves decided to pursue publishing.

We had no idea what we were doing, though, naturally. We did very little research, I admit, and were working blind. Blinded by excitement; blinded by the potential of dreams fulfilled, perhaps.

Anyway, after contacting Bloombury (as I’m a Potterhead), we were told that they couldn’t take work that wasn’t represented by an agent and something about me being too young anyway. I don’t fully remember how that went, but we were a little dejected.

Until we found an American publishing house. This publishing house, I won’t say its name, was actually a self-publishing company, where they helped you to publish your book but you had to pay them to do so. I had money from my dad’s inheritance and so I kind of felt like this was his way of supporting my dream from the beyond. And so, we went for it.

It cost less than £1,000 but more than £400, we’ll just say that, and when I look back, I think “oh god! What a fool?” But at the time, as I said, we didn’t know much better and we were just so excited to see my book printed. It took some time, a lot of editing on my part and recruiting my friends’ help, then it was finally ready. I submitted the book, and they designed the interior and asked me to find an image from a set site for the cover and what fonts I wanted, etc.

Then boom! my book was ready.

At the time, in Septemeber 2013, I was in a bad place. My life had taken a turn and it was so sad that my book happened to be published at the same time. This is why when my sister handed me the first copy of my book saying, “here, this will make you happy,” I didn’t feel as happy as I should have.

[image error]No Secrets, edition one, first in the Eternity Series

But later, I came to terms with it. I was an author. Self-published or not, young or not, it didn’t matter. I had a physical copy of my book. I had people buying it online. I had actual readers; I even gained a fan! She’s read my books several times over, and owns every edition and book in the Eternity Series! I love you, Michele Woodhouse!

Anyway, the book didn’t sell much. I think there were two big reasons for this. One, I didn’t know how to market it. And two, the paperback was £21. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many people willing to spend £21 on a book! It’s offputting. Yes, the eBook was much cheaper, but at the time, people kept saying to me that they wanted the paperback, but couldn’t afford it.

Over the years, I’ve become used to excuses as to why people won’t buy my books. If you’re an author, too, you will go through this. It’s only natural. But I thought to myself, yeah, they’re right. This book isn’t selling, and I need to fix it.

And so, I cancelled my book through that American company and got to work self-publishing it again through Amazon. Amazon is a godsend. It really is. So easy to use; so perfect for budding authors. I believe I was 20 when I republished “No Secrets: Remastered”.

[image error]No Secrets: Remastered, edition two, first in the Eternity Series

Now, this edition sold a lot better. It was much cheaper, and I was better at marketing it. I made the most of social media, connecting with other authors and fantasy readers.

[image error]Twitter page for @S_ R_Crawford

I even started a marketing campaign where I sought actors to play the roles of my characters, reciting lines from the book. It was so much fun, and definitely something that helped to boost intrigue. People did really like that, as visuals work well. Check out some of the videos below (but bear in mind that this was made in 2016, and the titles and synopsis etc. have since changed…)

However, in 2017, when I was 21, my author-friend said to me that my books (the sequel was out by then, but that will be explained in another post) weren’t working. They didn’t look as good as they could; the titles were rubbish in terms of marketing and catching someone’s eye; and the synopsis was just poor, thus not enticing anyone.

OK, so she wasn’t that harsh with me, but as soon as she said it I knew it was true. I didn’t argue or get sad; instead, I got to work again, this time harder and with more research. This is how the current “Ash Born” came to be. I thank her so much for all the advice she’s given me over the years, and of course for her amazing cover designs on the new editions of the books from the Eternity Series.

The book has since sold a lot better. People are intrigued by the covers and love the titles and synopsis.

Ash Born is 616 pages long and has received many reviews, when taking into account all of the past editions. It is a young adult fantasy, dark fantasy, urban fantasy that has been enjoyed all over the world in the UK, parts of Europe, America, and even Africa! It has been featured in newspapers and I’ve been interviewed about it 3 times.

[image error]Colebridge news article on No Secrets after first publication

What I learned:

Reading through this, you may think “wow, what a lot of mistakes”. Well, I hope you don’t think that. What I see is a dedicated, excitable young woman chasing after her dream of being an author. And you know what, I am an author. I don’t regret using the American company, because without that “mistake” I may never have had the courage to pursue publishing at all. I may not have used Amazon at all. I probably wouldn’t be writing the book that I’m writing now, with the plan to finally traditionally publish with an agent next year.

Everything happens for a reason, and I’m not ashamed of my journey or the “mistakes” I made to be the writer I am today. Each mistake was a learning curve. Each a new lesson to take onboard and go further.

Each pushed me and tested my passion, but I always got back up and fixed whatever needed fixing. Now that’s the dedication and love I put into all of my writing and editing. Because editing is such a huge part of a book. Writing it is the easy part. All you have to do is put any and all ideas on paper. Editing is where the magic happens. Editing is where the book is truly made.

And with No Secrets/Ash Born, I’ve learned so much and become a better writer and editor, and person in general. I am proud of myself to have done this from the age of 16-21, and I’ve only got more of this tenacity to come in the future.

 

Ash Born Synopsis:

A Coming of Age Fantasy with a twist…

Three worlds.

Seven species.

One war and one girl to change everything…

Letti Kane has always been an outsider. Perhaps this was why she foolishly fell for the dangerous Kaizen D’Anna at first sight. However, mingling with the D’Anna family will mean discovering the dark secrets of her own. Secrets of which are catching up to Letti’s mother, the infamous Bellemere Kane.

Unknown predators from her mother’s past are forcing Letti into the darkness that exists right under her nose. Once exposed, what will it mean for Letti though? What is her place going to be in this unforgiving world? Scared, betrayed and losing herself along the way, Letti must find her inner strength before it’s too late.

As she’s thrust deeper into these perilous realms, her mother has only one question on her mind: will the inferno of their world and the upcoming war consume Letti altogether, or will she rise from the ashes?

“The world isn’t big enough for all of us.”

Ash Born is a Young Adult, Paranormal Fantasy novel filled with mystery, romance and angst.

Check out Ash Born on Goodreads today, and add it to your to-read list!

Or get your copy of the latest edition of Ash Born here.

Check out my author’s site, S.R. Crawford’s site, where you can keep up to date on my published works and any progress with my current WIP.

Ways I’m Trying to Improve My Writing

There are so many different types of writers out there, and they probably have different ways of improving or practicing their craft. I thought I would share with you the ways I am trying to improve my writing and develop personally, too. Here they are:

Read every day: duh…I already do this but I’m also expanding my reading list to include more variety and a mix of complexities, too.
Write every day: I already kind of do this with being a freelancer and novelist, but I want to write aside from those projects more, too.
People watch: seriously, this is great for understanding what people are really like, thus developing more realism in our writing. (Just don’t get caught staring).
Experience more: the more you’ve actually experienced firsthand, the more you can write about and be more realistic when you do, too. It’s all well and good to write about marriage, but if you’ve never been married, it may fall short. The same goes for life in Italy, or scuba diving, or fighting someone. Experience more for yourself, and enrich your writing.
Be curious: just ask questions, look things up, and find the whys in things. This is good for life and intellect, and therefore it’s good for your writing, too.
Develop your vocab: obviously, we use words to write. It’s fine to write using everyday words, and I for one hate the overuse of extravagant words “just cuz”. But knowing a plethora of beautiful and useful words will generally help yourself and your writing even if you never use them. *Ways to develop your vocab: read, read a dictionary, use a thesaurus, use vocab building apps, and speak to intelligent people.
Free write: this is where you just write whatever comes into your head and just let it flow; a stream of consciousness, if you like. Or you could find a prompt online and just flow from that. This is great writing practice technique as it helps you to tap into corners of your mind that you didn’t know were there.
Analyse: question things, find the answers – be the answers. Whether its a book, film, person, or situation, analyse it. Tear it apart; open it up. What do you find? What does it inspire?
Journal: it is good to write about your day or week or thoughts or feelings. It’s good to capture your experience as it will help your mental health, thus making you better equipped to sit and write beautifully; as well as help you to write realistic characters, with similar experiences.
Brush up on your grammar: a lot of the time, I actually don’t know if I’m using the right punctuation and grammar in my writing. I go with what I’ve read or what I’ve always known – but that doesn’t mean I’m right. So, find out what’s right in order to be accurate and not confuse anyone.
Have intelligent conversations: if we only speak to morons, our minds will be filled with moronic information! I say, speak to a variety of people, but especially seek those intelligent ones amongst us. They will help to give life to new ideas, more vocab, and enlighten you on a topic you knew nothing about – great for your knowledge and writing.
Experience a variety of people: as I said, you should experience many kinds of people. We all have certain personalities and I can be tempted to keep to who we know we’ll like, but branching out is so important. I will help you to be able to write all kinds of characters and make them feel real with real motives. Plus, you can learn something from anyone, trust me.
Get cultured & travel: whether it’s through people, books, or travel, you need to get cultured. Even if you only write from your own experience, or write about your own country, it doesn’t matter. Learning, in depth, about other cultures will open your mind, and give room to MORE. This is ever so important for life, intellect, and your writing, too. Experience culture and travel and let it enter you, and shape you.
Tell stories & hear stories: become a storyteller with your voice, and it will make writing easier for you, too. I’m trying to tell more stories about my experiences or people I know, in order to develop my confidence and my ability to weave an interesting tale. Then, when it comes to writing, it’ll be a piece of cake compared. Also, listen to other people’s stories, too. They have interesting things to say, and you can take note of how they speak, too, in order to get some tips for how to captivate an audience.
Music: there is no greater thing than music. It has inspired ideas for me, given me a new perspective, and when I listen to the right movie scores whilst writing, the words just flood out of me.
Podcasts, films, and TV of interest: consuming interesting, inspiring, and well-written media will, in turn, enrich your own creations. Simple. So, instead of watching reruns of the same two shows, or sitting and watching crappy reality TV shows, watch or listen to something of substance and gain something that will help your mind and your writing.
Walk, think and see: I find that a good solo walk (with no destination) can really help to clear the mind and make way for interesting thought and reflection. This will then give you ideas, or at least the right mindset to get some writing done. Take in your surroundings and let it heal you or inspire you.
Capture thoughts, words, and conversations: never let a thought (no matter how big or small) get away from you. Write it down. It doesn’t matter if you never use it or look back and think it’s pants later. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it…

There you go, this is my list that will hopefully help me to better my writing, my craft, and myself. I hope these are things you find useful for your writing, too. Good luck, and happy writing.

And of course, don’t forget that I am a freelance writer for hire, here and happy to help with your writing needs…

Book Review(ish): “The Fault in Our Stars” & Tahlia’s Memory

This will be a short review, for this book isn’t new and the author is well-known. It would be silly of me to tell you about this book because I’m sure you’ve all read it by now. Plus, this is actually the last John Green book that I’ve read; I’ve read all the others already.

The reason this was the last one that I read is because the book meant more to me than just a book. More than a book about sick teenagers. It was a sad book for me for more than one reason.

That’s because it was my old friend Tahlia’s favourite book. I use was, past tense, because sadly she died 3 years ago. April 17th, 3 years ago, I read the news that my childhood friend had passed away. She had suffered from Cystic Fibrosis for all of her life, and she had it in her lungs, and so she was a particularly bad case. However, Tahlia was so stubborn and strong and so I always thought that she would last twice as long as predicted. Sadly, though, the CF put up more of a fight than expected.

And just like in the book, there were some hard twists of fate between myself and Tahlia. There were some troubles at one point with us, but we moved past them and were always there for each other. She was one of the first people to buy the first edition of my fantasy book, too. I’ll never forget our amazing conversation about how much she loved Letti and Kaizen and how proud she said she was of me.

But I have regrets. I will always hate the fact that I didn’t get to actually see her face to face again one last time. And that feels like the kind of tragedy that John Green would write…

Anyway, yeah, that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to read the book, though I’d had it on my shelf for years. The girl in the book is like Tahlia, too. Hazel Grace Lancaster had a bite and wit and those were the things that made Tahlia so…Tahlia. So yes, it was hard to read it. It was hard to picture Tahlia when she was sick with her oxygen tank and the tubes in her nose, just like Hazel had. But for some reason, now felt like the right time. I didn’t even plan to read it around her anniversary, it just happened that way. Weird, that…

But the book moved me in all the right ways. It brought me closer to the memory of Tahlia, so thank you once again, John Green, for writing perfect characters and a sad story in the way that only you can.

I think I needed this book, and Tahlia’s memory, right now to remind me to live. Just live. Wholly and fully and beautifully and unapologetically…

Perspective

I find that perspective is the most important tool to checking yourself (or rather, getting yourself in check). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found my ability to check-myself and put things into perspective has increased tenfold, and I’m writing this IEG article today about perspective because this morning I finished reading “The Fault in Our Stars”, my old friend Tahlia’s favourite book.

I say old friend, not because she passed away three years ago, but because I had known her since we were toddlers. We grew up together. My mom taught her how to ride a bike. We went to the same primary school, the same senior school, and she was very present and important in my life, even with our differences .

Perspective for me has become strong since her passing. A twenty year old girl was taken from the world due to an illness. It’s horrid. It’s cruel. We all knew she would pass before 40 but it was Tahlia, you know? If anyone would survive and stick their middle finger up to Cystic Fibrosis it would be her.

But alas, it took her.

And I hated myself because I didn’t get chance to meet up with her one last time before she passed. We spoke, and if there was any bad energy before, it was long gone. I forgave her for our somewhat troubled teenhood, and she was over my leaving our friendship group. We moved on. We were adults and we were happy for each other.

It’s so special that she read the first edition of the first book in my Eternity series. She popped up to me and was enthused about it. It felt amazing that she was still supporting my dream after we hadn’t spoken properly since school.

I could go on about our time together and how unique our relationship was and how awful it was to hear that she’d passed and how I broke down at her funeral in 2015, but that’s our business. She knows how I feel.

The reason I bring her up is because these days when I feel crappy and get tired and feel low – I remember her and how she was ill her whole life but it never stopped her from living.

When I don’t feel like writing, I remember how she believed in me and how she too was a writer who had her voice cut short. And so, in her honour, I must continue to write. Always. It would be a slap to the face not to.

Perspective.

Not everyone has someone who can help them to put things into perspective, so I’m here to help.

There are so many people who aren’t able to live as we can, and so we must live instead.

Stop wasting time being angry with people you love (or people you don’t love, especially), as it just doesn’t matter enough. It just doesn’t. What if they got sick or were hurt and you couldn’t see them again? Would all the anger have been worth it?

Put your anger into perspective.

Put your sadness into perspective.

Put your unproductive days into perspective.

Think.

It’s easier said than done, I know. There’s days when perspective doesn’t happen, but at least try. For some reason, I’ve been bitter and angry lately but I put my emotions into perspective and realised that I’m angry for internal reasons, not external, and I can’t take it out on others.

It really helps to be honest with yourself and do this for yourself, too.

Ways to gain perspective:

Appreciate that there are many of those who are less fortunate than you and though everyone’s problems are valid, it can help you to drown a little less in them when you consider this.
Think of those who are gone. You have life and they’d give anything to have it.
Read.
Write.
Watch films.
Meditate.
Do Yoga.
Walk.
Speak with a friend.

Doing these things can help to clear your head and gain some perspective. A clearer, wider view of your life, your problems, your actions, and your purpose.

These things are important for a better life. They’re important for being a better person. You will be in better control of your emotions, too. A lot of people are bad people without realising it. They’re bitter, angry, selfish, poisonous, negative and sometimes downright awful. But perspective helps you to realise what you’re doing and thinking, in order to move forwards with a better mind.

When I put things into perspective, I realise I have a lot to be grateful for. I have achieved a lot for my age and where I come from and what I have. I’m lucky. I should remember that. I should hold on to that. I will always try to have perspective in trying situations, and you should, too.

So please, try.

“You Know Nothing” – Poem

You don’t know that character,

From that classic book.

You don’t know about food,

Or even how to cook.

 

You don’t know the countries,

That sit on our maps.

You don’t know the runners,

That run all those laps.

 

You don’t know what film

That actor was in,

Or ways to exercise

And get real thin.

 

You don’t know the person,

Who runs our country.

You don’t know about Anne

Or where she would be.

 

You don’t know that word,

What does it mean?

You don’t know about laws

Or the things soldiers have seen.

 

You don’t know about sports,

Who rivals with whom?

You don’t know about logic,

Or what may happen soon.

 

You don’t know about

Relationships,

Or games and rules,

With poker chips.

 

You don’t know about science,

How our world came about.

You don’t know about Brexit,

Or why we got out.

 

You don’t know about animals,

Where they live and what they eat.

You don’t know about America

And their many defeats.

 

You don’t know their language,

What did they just say?

You don’t about friends,

Or even how to play.

 

It’s sad, really

All the thing you don’t know.

Why don’t you learn?

Why don’t you grow?

 

But the things,

They just don’t stick.

How can you learn,

When you’re so thick?

 

So you sit there,

Head in your hands,

Wishing you could know

About life and love and lands.

 

About this thing and that,

About wondrous ideas,

Let in knowledge,

Let go of fears.

 

Because you really should know,

Anything. Something.

But sadly, my child,

You know nothing.

In my 22nd year…

On this, my 23rd birthday, I want to reflect (as I often do) on my 22nd year. What did I do? Where did I go? Did I grow?

Here are the notable things that happened over the last year for me…

Recent (Jan-Apr 2018)

Spring Wolf Run completed despite my crappy body.
I wrote my manuscript in under 2 months, the WIP that I aim to traditionally published (a Children’s fantasy book that I literally finished yesterday!)
Left my content writing position
Started working out again
Became self-employed, a freelance writer, with my own clients (this is huge and was such a challenge)
Got black and grey braids
Tried sugar cane
Partner moved in with me, and we revamped our room
Developed my cooking and eating (a lot)
Republished my self-help book
Loads of blogging progression
3rd anniversary with my other half
London trip to the British Library for the Harry Potter: A History of Magic Exhibition
So much anxiety and periods of lowness that I overcame

Earlier (Apr-Dec 2017)

Read many books
Left Argos/retail finally
Became employed as a content writer (first full time office work position)
Travelled to South Africa, and lived like a local for 2 weeks
African safari
Rode a horse
Quad bike safari
10 hour packed car ride to Durban beach in South Africa
Loads of Africa misadventures
Wrote part of a book about my time in Africa
Wrote a third of the third book in the Eternity series (my self-published fantasy book series)
First couple-only holiday abroad (France)
Became friends with my brother’s partner
YouTube channel changes
More driving experience on difficult roads
Republished the Eternity series
Began to love Chinese food and curries!
Hosted a Goodreads giveaway for my books
Went to watch Jeremy Kyle (aha)
Rage kart driving and air rifle shooting fun
Gave blood
Watched some awesome films

Here’s to my 23rd year, may it be filled with more progression and exploration and proving myself wrong! Clearly I am capable of a life well lived…

Things Writers Are Tired of Hearing

It’s not gonna make you any money
It’s not like a real job
I don’t really read, sorry.
What do you write? Is it like Fifty Shades of Grey?
Sorry to disturb you.
Not busy, are you?
You’re always on your phone or laptop or writing something down.
How many books have you written? (And whatever your answer is will always be disappointing).
Is it like — or like —
I’ve always wanted to write a book.
You must be so smart.
I think I’m gonna write a book.
What does this word mean?
Why don’t you go outside, get some fresh air?
What have you done today? (And writing is a not a good enough answer).
I really liked your book/post (but they didn’t really know anything about it).
I’ll buy your books (and they just don’t, they never do).
The unenthusiastic “oh” when you say you’re a writer.
Why won’t you come out with us?
I know a great story you can write!
Why don’t you do this? Why don’t you do that?
It’s a bit long…
I don’t get it…
You should really get out more.
It’s not a realistic dream.