S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 86

Introducing My IEG Articles

Hey guys, those who follow my blog may have noticed that I write about a lot of different things. What can I say? I’m an interesting person, with many interests! This extends to my writing, too. I like to write about many things, mostly things that inspire thought in others.

Enter, IEG.

The IEG articles that I will post on here, on occasion, will be about serious social topics. They may be interviews with real people; my own thoughts; or research I’ve gathered with an aim to educate.

IEG stands for Inspire. Educate. Guide.

Any IEG articles that I post, will aim to get my readers thinking in a way that they may not have done previously. I really want to influence the world, and I believe that the younger generation have a very important job to do – open their minds more than their ancestors did.

IEG will aim to open minds.

Of course, some articles may be considered controversial. They may entice discussion. They may even anger people, but I know those people will probably be the closed minded ones amongst us.

I will say this: I do not aim to offend anyone. Never, ever. I consider myself to be an open minded person, and of course if I ever get my facts wrong, educate me, don’t belittle or try to upset me.

With IEG, I aim to help people find a new way of thinking, not change their thoughts or control them. All you need to do is consider something from another angle for ten seconds, and you may just learn something…

Some topics that I hope to touch on are:

Racism
Sexism
Mental Health
Sexuality and identity
Third world countries
Religion
Poverty
Abuse (sexual, physical, cyber, domestic, emotional, etc)
The elderly
Education
Lifestyle
And more

As you can see, these are some heavy topics and I’ll try to always approach them delicately. I have met so many people who have had issues with the things listed above, and I believe their experiences need to be shared in order to help them feel less alone, and educate people on their affects.

I don’t know how well this project will do, or if I’ll post many, but we’ll see. All we can do is try to change the world, little by little, and I choose to do that with my writing.

I hope you can try to do the same. Stay tuned.

If you or anyone you know has an interesting story to share about any of the topics mentioned above, please get into contact with me. Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Grandad.

There are many men in this world,

Yet my grandfather towers above the rest.

Perhaps this is because he isn’t of this world.

Of course he isn’t.

How could he be?

No other man in this world could ever,

Even hold a candle to my grandfather.

No hand is as kind as it extends towards the needy.

No heart is as big as it accepts others.

No belly is as full as it laughs a genuine, non-malicious laugh.

No eyes are as open to the good in the world.

No arms are as inviting to every person in the world.

No voice is as melodic as it sings about the world,

And the worlds above. That I don’t see.

No man could ever be greater.

Not ever.

I know this, for sure.

Grandfather, though the world has not been as kind to you as you are to it,

I hope you know that the world is a little less

Bleaker for me because of you.

You are the glasses that help me to see clearer.

You are the lens that I choose to look through and see the world,

For the alternative, doesn’t bear thinking about.

How dark it would be without you.

Will be without you, one day…

But that day hasn’t yet come, and I am eternally grateful,

To your god,

To my universe,

To the fates that know I still need you.

We all do.

So, as you always say, “just keep on dancing.”

And grandad, I promise to remember to dance, too.

How to Handle Criticism

As a budding writer or author, you will suffer through a great deal of criticism. Everyone’s a critic, and everyone criticises art. That means you and your work will be a big target.

They’ll say your writing is dull. Your writing is too descriptive. Your characters don’t work. Your plot doesn’t make sense. Your plot is too slow; it’s too fast. You used the wrong “your” once. You copied Harry Potter. You don’t understand your genre. You’re writing for the wrong audience. You’re writing too much. You’re writing too little.

They will find a fault, no matter how perfect you write. People always do.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re right. Of course they are! The first way to deal with criticism is to determine what to listen to and what not to listen to. This is crucial. Every writer will need to adopt this power. The power to see truth in criticism but also recognise non-truths.

From there, you will need to learn what to take onboard and keep in mind for next time, and what to completely dismiss. This is down to you. You can only grow as a writer if you hear what people say and decide, humbly and honestly, what is true and what is not.

Here’s a few quick tips that should help you on the road to dealing with criticism:

Ask your inner critic if it’s true.
Discuss criticism that you’ve received with someone you trust to tell you the truth. They will help you determine whether it’s worth taking onboard or not.
Check if anyone else has said a similar thing to you before, if so, it’s probably true.
Read a lot of books, essays, articles (etc) and see if those works are making the “mistake” that you’ve been accused of. If not, then maybe you have made an error. However, don’t take “original” to mean “not okay.” Plenty of works have broken the rules and become global wonders in the future.
Go with your gut.

The last point there is the most important – go with your gut. Ultimately, it is up to you if you take on criticism or not. It’s up to you if it’s true or not. If you have a reason for what you’ve done, and you can back it up, then great! Forget them! Ignore them. Don’t take it onboard. Loads of people will have differing opinions about what you’ve produced, and that’s a good thing. Listen to some, and block out the rest. Don’t let them drag you down; instead, deal with it logically.

Things to bear in mind when it comes to critics:

Everyone is different
Everyone is entitled to their opinion – but it’s just an opinion, not fact
Some people simply want to drag you down and make you doubt your work
People will compare and tear apart your work, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good as it was before
It’s some people’s job to review and critique, so they naturally look for faults
You can take something onboard without taking it to heart – it’s not personal
Remember that it may help you to become better, so it’s a good thing
Everyone has their own tastes and wishes; no one can tell you what your story should be
Take what they say as suggestions, not commands
Never stop growing; never stop loving what you do; never stop getting better
Read, read, read, and develop an eye for what’s good and bad for yourself – it will help you determine if a critic is right or wrong, as you will have critiqued work for yourself
Do not lash out at a critic for what they’ve said

Good luck.

What Can I Do for You?

My freelance writing and editing specialties:

Manuscript editing (developmental editing, copy editing, line editing)
Book summaries and book reviews
Chapter rewrites
Mental health articles and blog posts
Regular blog posts (ideally on interesting topics, like: mental health, books, film, TV, UK, travel, lifestyle, or quarter life advice)

What I have experience in:

Web content writing
Web content editing/rewrites
Blogging (various clients)
Guidebooks
Newsletters
Articles
Interviewing
Research
Novel writing
Novel critique
Novel editing
Self-publishing
Poetry
Scriptwriting (amateur)
Film reviews
Book reviews

What I am able to do (aside from the aforementioned):

Web content
Blogging
Articles
Ghostwriting
Editing (various, to suit)

I love to explore new types of writing, and I strongly believe in “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” This means that I’m willing to take on projects outside of my comfort zone/expertise, but be aware that this would be new to me. I prioritise and work harder on projects that I love, enjoy, or care about personally. Please get in touch, no matter the project, and we can discuss how I may help you. I also know other writers, who I could refer you to should I be unable to complete your work.

Thanks!

How Bad Mental Health Has Held Me Back

It is no secret that I suffer from poor mental health. This includes social anxiety and being prone to depression. These two bad-boys have always kind of taken it in turns to beat me, or even worse – they team up to destroy me altogether.

I like talking openly about my experiences with mental health, as not only does it take their power away, but it also helps others. If one person can read my posts and feel a little less crazy and alone, that’s a job well done for me.

So, how has my poor mental health set me back? Well, in a great many ways…

Anxiety has deprived me of social interaction. I have what feels like no real friends. I freak out every time I’m invited out anywhere. I overthink when I’m having a conversation. And I always come to the same conclusion – I am not good enough.

Anxiety and depression (amongst other things) stole my chance at a degree. The first time I went to university, I lasted under a week. I had massive panic attacks, didn’t eat and barely slept. And so, I called my mom (over and over) and got the hell out of there. The second time, it was more of an informed decision. I freaked out a few times, but then I looked within. I questioned what I felt. I chose to drop out after finishing the first year because it just didn’t feel right for me. I didn’t fit in. I had no friends. I was unfocused and wanted to just write my books and see my boyfriend. And so, I left. But perhaps, without the anxiety and depression, I could have made something else work for me, education-wise.

Anxiety and depression (amongst other things) jeopardised my career prospects. Working is exceptionally difficult for people with social anxiety, especially when it is in retail. As a young person with no degree or experience, I had little prospects. I worked in retail, mostly, and it was terrifying a lot of the time. I am proud of myself, though, for having the courage to go in every day. When it comes to an office job, my social anxiety seemed to still be present. But then depression came much stronger, telling me that these jobs were stealing my life. Perhaps without anxiety or depression, I could have lasted longer in jobs that may have helped me, at least money-wise, whilst I wrote other things and set myself up freelance. Instead, I have a bit of an unstable road ahead.

Anxiety and depression have put pressure on my relationship(s). I feel scared that I am not, and will never be, good enough for my partner, who is a strong, extroverted, amazing man. I feel like my head sets me back with everyone, close to me or not. I know they love me, but is love enough when someone is so difficult to love?

They set me back with my sense of style, encouraging me to limit my wardrobe because “someone like me can’t pull it off.” They limit my pursuit of education. They limit my concentration. They limit my confidence or knowledge of who I am and what I am capable of.

Limits. Setbacks. Shackles.

And this is just me.

Mental health is important for all of us. Just like our physical health, our mental health needs work, too, in order to stay healthy. Please, care about yours. And if you are like me, speak about it. Share your experiences, and more importantly, get help.

If you want to improve your mental health, my book You’re As Mad As I Am by S.R. Crawford will help you.

Or, if you would like to hire me to write for you in the area of mental health, then contact me.

Take care.

“How Africa Changed Me” – Chapter 2

*This is chapter 2 of the series of posts called “How Africa Changed Me”, a book about my experiences for 2 weeks in South Africa.*

Chapter 2

My Chest is on Fire

I’ll try to be less morbid from now on – I’m lying – as the story starts. I had known about the Africa trip for about 7 months before we went. At the time, I was working part time in a store, so I was grateful for the decent amount of time I was given to save up. Making less than £500 a month kind of makes it hard to just buy a ticket to Africa, never mind survive there for 14 days.

During the build up to go, I was given a lot of mixed information:

“It’ll be winter there, but it’ll feel like our summers here in UK.”

“It won’t be that bad.”

“Don’t worry about Shona or religion, you’re overthinking.”

“You’ll like the food.”

“You’ll only need £200.”

Most of these things turned out to be the wrong advice. I guess one of the first lessons I learned in Africa was not to listen to other people when they say “don’t worry”. I’ll worry all I like, sir, because it’s frickin’ warranted.

Anyway, despite the struggles, I managed to buy the £500 ticket, give towards our accommodation, and pack our suitcase. Myself, my boyfriend, his younger sister and his mom were taking the train to London Gatwick airport, while his dad drove down with his friend and our suitcases – because we had 6 of those bad boys, plus hand luggage. I was grateful for this because there was no way my anxiety would have stayed semi-in-check if we had to lug them on two trains and a tube on the way down there.

My mom dropped us at the train station, but perhaps she shouldn’t have. It was so hard to say goodbye. My dad died when I was a kid and my mom has always felt like a best friend. It was only for 2 weeks, I know, but it felt like such a long time to be away from my bestie – and so many miles away, too. And what would happen when the inevitable anxiety attacks came and my mom wasn’t there to help me? It was sweet, though, apparently my mom gave Patrick some tips on how to calm me down. Even when she’s not around, she still protects me.

There’s a picture on my phone that I still stare at sometimes. In it, I’m stood there crying in my mother’s arms at the train station before we left. I look at the picture and I still remember exactly how I felt in that moment. I was terrified. Perfectly petrified. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I didn’t think I could handle it. In fact, I knew I couldn’t handle it. You may think it’s dramatic and crazy because it was only two weeks and I was with my boyfriend and I was going travelling like I always wanted…how could that be so terrifying? Well, I can’t explain it. Anxiety or me or what, I don’t know. All I know is that the picture still has the ability to make my chest feel tight and my eyes teary because I feel how that girl felt, and I feel angry that she felt it. That I felt it. Because you’re kind of right – it was an unnecessary fear. A fear that could have, and almost did, prevent me from going. The fear could have taken that chance of an amazing, eye-opening trip away from me.

And it makes me so sad to know that there are so many others like me out there who won’t go on trips because their heads tell them that they can’t do something that they are perfectly capable of doing – and doing well. What a f*cking joke?

We arrived in good time but his dad was running quite late. Hungry and tired already, we felt irritated waiting around because there’s only so many airport selfies a person can take. Finally, his dad came, we checked-in with a girl who barely understood what she was doing, and through security it was. For some probably crazy reason, getting through security at an airport is the least scary, anxiety-inducing part for me – my head works in mysterious ways. Patrick’s sister on the other hand, had some funny security experiences during our travels. At Gatwick, the metal detector went off as she went through and she threw her hands in the air, shouting “I didn’t do anything!” It was frickin’ hilarious and naturally, myself and my boyfriend didn’t let it go all trip.

“Who took the last sweet?”

“Well, we all know Diana didn’t do it!”

This was the last moment that I felt semi-calm. From then on, the fire of anxiety only grew bigger in my chest.

You know how people say all you need to do is take a deep breath and you’ll be fine? Yeah, well, that doesn’t really work. It may calm you for a second, but as soon as you think of the impending doom around the corner, the fire ignites again. Once the loudspeaker announced our flight and said we could begin boarding, I started to shake, I turned pale and I cried. I cried frantically, like a child who had lost her mother – which I suppose wasn’t far from the truth. I texted all my family saying goodbye, unsure of when I’d next speak to them, and stood up. I thought those anxiety drops that I’d taken were supposed to calm me down but pft, that didn’t work – or perhaps they did, because I got on the plane…

Tears streaming down my face, breathing about a trillion times a minute and clutching my boyfriend’s hand so tight that it looked like I’d float off if I didn’t, but I boarded that god damn plane for the 8-hour flight. And I’m fricking proud of myself because it’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done. To hear the terrifying, anxious thoughts; to feel the fear suppressing and suffocating you, but to take that step anyway – now that’s a real hero.

“How Africa Changed Me” – Chapter 1

*This is chapter 1 of the series of posts called “How Africa Changed Me”, a book about my experiences for 2 weeks in South Africa.*

Chapter 1

Before Africa

I’ve allowed myself only a chapter to quickly tell you about myself. But as I’m writing this, I realise that it is an entirely impossible task because how am I meant to tell you about twenty years of life in only a few pages? And how do I convey it in such a way that you will truly understand who I am and why Africa was such a meaningful and challenging trip for me?

Sugar, I didn’t think this through… Abort!

Maybe I could sum myself up in five “simple” words – introverted, creative, unlucky, anxious, and loser. No, not loser in a cry-me-a-river, feel-sorry-for-me kind of way. Loser in the “I lose a lot” kind of way. I’m a literal loser. So, perhaps I could drop all the other words and sum myself up in just that one word, to save time and all that.

Why, you ask? (OK, you didn’t ask but I’ll tell you anyway).

I’m a loser because I did a year at university before dropping out, whilst my friends continued and got their degrees.

I’m a loser because I’ve self-published three books that no one reads and I don’t have any idea how to market them.

I’m a loser because I have these illnesses called depression and anxiety, each taking it in turns to mess with my life.

I’m a loser because I’ve worked jobs since leaving university that hurt my soul and stomp on my creativity.

I’m a loser because my best friends are my boyfriend, my siblings and my mom. Oh, and my cat. (Yes, I’m kind of a cat lady – except I get laid regularly).

I’m a loser because I doubt myself…every-damn-day.

Boo hoo, right? It could be worse. At least I have a good, loving boyfriend who’s suffered through my bull for three years. At least I’ve not got cancer, or malaria (well, I’ve not gone to Africa just yet), or irritable bowel syndrome, or ginger hair. I’m not ugly or stupid or poor. I should count my blessings.

I tried that once, the whole being a grateful and spiritual and level-headed person thing – but it turns out that my head is all too busy and messed up for that.

Am I painting a decent picture of myself? I’m guessing not so much. But that’s the point. You need to understand that I am not OK. I am not together. I am not strong or a natural-born hero. So, if that’s what you want from this book, you may be disappointed.

I’ve decided that I probably am starting this story all wrong. Instead of lying stark naked, displaying all my flaws, I should be like “so everyone, my name is Siana-Rose, but you can call me Siana, and I’m a budding author who hopes a scary but needed trip to Africa with her boyfriend’s family will give her the enlightenment and push she needs to become who she knows she can be.” Inspiration, intrigue, and all that jazz.

But if you’re reading this then I’m assuming you’re not a 10-year-old who believes everything in life is all rosy. At 10 years old, I was still a budding author but my stories weren’t as “deep” and had a bit too much imagination compared to reality, and often lacked an ending because I became too excited by a new idea to discipline myself to finish a story. So no, 10 years on from that I decided to tip the balance of the imagination to reality ratio, and write a no bullsh*t story for you – that has an ending, too. Lucky you.

I’m writing this because I feel I have to. It’s just leaking out of me. I have this…unique experience that I must share for a variety of reasons.

It’s inspiring.

It’s ridiculous.

It’s touching.

It’s real.

Maybe it won’t be any of those things for you – sorry if so. But the only way to find out is by reading it, right? So, stick around and find out how Africa changed me – this broken, messy want-to-be author who just needed something…anything to relight her spirit.

“How Africa Changed Me” – Intro Chapter

*This is the intro chapter of the series of posts called “How Africa Changed Me”, a book about my experiences for 2 weeks in South Africa.*

 

Intro – “Why Should You Read This Book?”

Because I want you to, OK? I need the money!

Nah, I’m only joking. I guess it is entirely up to you whether or not you choose to read this book. If you choose to follow and read it all, I appreciate the support and from the bottom of my heart, I truly hope that it helps you in some way or another. I wrote this book because I wanted it to reach someone out there who is (or was) just like me and needed some inspiration, and perhaps they themselves haven’t been to Africa but maybe reading about someone like them who has been could get them thinking.

That’s it! I want you to think!

No, not in an annoying way; I just want you to open up your mind, I guess. I want to teach you something without you feeling like you’re being taught anything at all. I want to speak to a friend about a deep experience of mine; it’s just that the “friend” I chose to speak to happens to be a worldwide audience. I don’t have many real friends, you see.

I was going to make this book a fiction because I wanted to protect people’s privacy and I felt like no one would want to read about lil ole me. But then I remembered that this is my story, not some made-up character’s story, and only I can tell it from my own soul in my own voice. That is the only way someone, anyone, could appreciate and connect with it. So here it is, win or lose.

People always talk about how travel is healthy and changes you and can do all of these wonderful things. I believed them but I didn’t realise how right it was until I first went to Budapest, Hungary by myself, and then again when I went to Africa. These trips were polar opposites. In Hungary, I was alone; I was there for 3 days total; I was in control of what I did and did not do; and I was completely alone. However, in Africa, I was there for 14 days; met a total of 46 people whilst I was out there; wasn’t in control of anything at all; and I was never, ever alone. Polar opposites but both ever so necessary and rewarding for who I was and where I was at that point in my life.

So, that’s why I’m writing about my trip to Africa. But why should you read about it? What good does it do you to read about a person you don’t know who did a thing you don’t really care about? Well, this book is for others like me. Maybe if I’d read a book like this some time ago it would have changed my perspective on my life – even a little bit.

This book will work best for the following kinds of people:

Lost people
Twenty-somethings
People with mental health difficulties
Sad people
Inexperienced people
Lacking people
Curious people

And yes, that’s because the aforementioned people are exactly like me.

Africa and Updates on Plans

This post and the posts to follow are long overdue. Like well overdue. I apologise for that. Anyone who actually consistently reads all of my posts may remember that I mentioned I went to South Africa back in August. I also said that I was writing about it. That was true at the time, but I dropped the ball on that one.

I tend to drop the ball a lot, lately.

But I’m picking the balls back up – slowly but surely.

The first ball I want to pick up is regular blogging. I will aim to post content that is under these categories:

Travel (where I’ve been, what I did, how it made me feel) Entitled “An Author Abroad”
Lifestyle (about our society, thoughts on better living, quarter life, etc) Entitled “IEG: Inspire, Educate, Guide” 
Writing (tips, tricks, updates on projects, etc) Entitled “The Write Way”
Mental Health (how to cope, what to do, updates, advice) Entitled “You’re As Mad As I Am”

The travel posts will be photos of where I’ve been, what I did and what I found there etc, but they will also feature a “book” about Africa. (See where the Africa thing comes into it now?) I did start to write an extensive “book” about my time in Africa and I would like it to be shared because it was a big deal for me. I want to relive that time. So, I shall publish chapters about the Africa trip semi-regularly. If you want more, and sooner, you’ll have to show an interest! Comment and let me know that you’re intrigued! I’ll publish a chapter today, and more when I can.

As for the lifestyle ones, these will also be a little less bloggy than some of the others. I aim to post in-depth views of our society, our lifestyles, how we treat one another, and new ways of thinking. I’ve always aimed to help people. I think the best way to help people can be to change people’s minds by giving them something to think about that they’ve never considered before. This is what I aim to do. So, the Lifestyle posts may sometimes be a little heavy, and real, but necessary. Read, think, share, and change your mindset. Open your mind. Take on somebody else’s view of the world, and let it mean something.

As you know, I do change my mind a lot but these things will hopefully happen as planned now that I’ve figured some things out. Plus, they’re already set in motion so…how can I screw this one up, right?! *sighs because I’m such a screw-up*

Anyway, stay tuned and all that. Speak soon.

“You’re As Mad As I Am” Out Now!

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“You’re As Mad As I Am” by S. R. Crawford is out now on eBook/Kindle through Amazon! Get your copy today for only £2.99…

If you suffer from anxiety, depression or stress, then this book may be able to help you. I have taken my own experiences, and techniques that help me, and shared them here in this book in order to help others.

Synopsis:

Do your hands shake? Does your heart race? Do you find it hard to get out of bed every day? Well then, this book is for you.

Hey, friend. I hope you’re OK. I know you’ve been feeling stressed, low, and full of fear lately; I’ve felt the same. But it’s time for it to stop, isn’t it?

I’m glad you’ve found my guide, for it can be a friend to you if you let it. Here, I speak about my experiences with anxiety, depression, and stress, whilst showing you how you can use certain techniques to find relief from their affects.

This book is an easy to read, how-to guide that runs through 30 techniques for coping better or elevating the pressures of anxiety, depression, and stress. The reason why this friendly guide works so well is because it is written by a fellow sufferer, who is actively using the very same techniques as a way to better themselves, too.

Whether you are suffering for the first time, or from a lasting disorder, this book will definitely have active practices that can help to change your life.

Techniques include:

•Relationships

•Art

•Money

•Purpose

•Spirituality

•Yoga & Meditation

•Acceptance

•And many more

Together, we will be ok. This book will be your go-to friend whenever you’re falling. You will get through this, I promise, because, “You’re As Mad As I Am.”

I hope it can help you to change your life and get the relief that you deserve. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need further help.

Take care.

Get “You’re As Mad As I Am” by S. R. Crawford to start getting better today…