S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 41

The Power of Subtraction & Less (podcast)

Instead of having to have, do, and be MORE, what if I gave you permission to seek less? There’s no need to keep up with the Joneses or the Kardashians…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/the-power-of-subtraction.mp3

xx

Finding Clarity Series

While in lockdown, I’ve naturally done a lot of soul-searching, thought-challenging, and taking steps towards my year’s motto/goal/intention (“see things clearly”). I have been unexpectedly successful in this endeavour. I didn’t expect to read the perfect books for my journey.

There’s a lot I’ve learned about myself and this journey has led to much more clarity in my life. I’ve accidentally (accidentally on purpose?) read the right things, listened to the right podcasts and videos, and have been journaling like crazy and came to some eye-opening realisations about myself and my beliefs (which clouded my mind and emotions all my life).

In this series, I will walk you through the most pivotal parts of my realisations and what has helped me see more clearly.

 

What I’ll cover over the series:

Values
Metrics for success and happiness
Agreements
Journaling
Emotions Work
Selfhood
And resources for you to do the same!

I’ll also share personal insights and ideas for those who need more guidance.

 

Who is this for? What are its aims? What can it help with?

Self-awareness
Presence (mindfulness, The Now)
Emotional decluttering
Change your perspective
Self-image and self-esteem
Decision-making
Focus on what’s important
Know what you want
Free yourself
Put yourself first again
Deep truth
Guidance and Inner compass

And more!

Stay tuned for posts on this in the coming weeks (perhaps on Sundays, me thinks!)

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

 

The Truth About Getting What You Want From Life

We all want certain things in life. For me, one of my biggest life goals has been to be a published author making a living from telling stories. I also want a family of my own.

But the first truth about getting what you want from life is that we must realise that we want a certain feeling, not a certain thing, per se.

For example, I want to be an author. However, what I really want, when it comes down to it, is to feel happy sharing my creativity and making a living that way. This could be done in a number of ways, not just from writing and selling books.

We must be mature about this. We must realise that no one is entitled to specific success. That we can change the plan while keeping the goal. In that, it might not happen the way you want, or end up the way you thought, but it can, and hopefully will, still feel really good for you.

 

What is this called? Adaptability.

To get what you want from life, you first have to define how you want to feel or a roundabout idea of what you want, and then you need to adopt an adaptable approach to getting it.

Adaptability looks like:Plan A didn’t work, so let’s try B, C, D…Something isn’t right here; let’s take a look, analyse, and readjust accordinglyIt’s okay that this failed, or was a mistake; I know I have many other avenues to get what I wantI’ve changed my mind, and that’s okCircumstances have changed, and that’s ok; I have the tools to still make things happen

 

It also, as you can see, comes down to Resilience. This means taking hits, going through adversity and unexpected change, but dusting yourself off and getting back up.

The best fighters aren’t those with the strongest punch; it’s those who can take a hit but keep on fighting.

If you’re easily deterred, panicked, hurt, or whatever else, you’re less likely to get what you want because you’re staying down every time you’re knocked. But we must…

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

 

You need to ask yourself some tough questions about what it is you think you want.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Sometimes, we blindly follow a path because other people want it for us; or we think we still want it because we used to want it; or because we don’t actually have a clear idea of what we want. This comes from a lack of self-awareness, intentionality, and perhaps authenticity, too.

But when you know yourself well, you listen to that inner voice, and you keep up to date on how you feel and interact with the world, then perhaps you will have a sense of clarity.

Clarity is key to getting what you want in life.

As Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

But this won’t work if you don’t know what you want, or that idea is all fuzzy in your mind and you’re constantly second-guessing or undermining that idea.

Know this: it is okay to not know what you want. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to explore several ideas. But always question what you think you want. Be sure if you’re giving something your all. Don’t harm yourself pursuing the wrong things.

 

Lastly, you must swallow your pride and get help. Ask others for help and support. Be held accountable. Use resources, seek out experts, read and learn and grow along your journey. And bloody hell, enjoy the journey! You are less likely to get what you want, if you’re not happy on the way to what you want.

What you want in life shouldn’t be some happy end destination, thus being unhappy until we get there.

 

Summary

So, how do we get what we want from life? What are the hard truths we have to follow?

We must be adaptableWe must be resilientWe must be clear on what we actually wantWe must attach a feeling or idea around the goal, not stick to a very specific goalWe must accept and seek help along the wayWe must always be learning and growing

 

Bonus tips: you must believe that you can obtain that future; you must embody that feeling and visualise it; you must trust in yourself and a higher power on your journey.

 

Good luck!

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

Advice I’d Give to My Younger Self (podcast)

We can’t turn back the clock, and we shouldn’t aim to. Living in the past or regretting the past does us no favours whatsoever. However, at the ripe old age of 25, I have been thinking over my past and who I am now and who I am becoming. Doing so sparked some ideas of advice I would give to my younger self, and advice I should still follow now. Plus, anyone out there who may benefit from these ideas, this is for you…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/advice-id-give-to-my-younger-self.mp3

xx

10 Ways to Embrace Spring and the New Beginning

I like to set seasonal intentions to ensure I make the most of the season I’m in, as well as having goals and personal to-dos to look forward to. Here are some things to get you started with it being Spring and therefore a time of new beginnings and rebirth…

1. Switch up your routine – “changing the way you do routine things allows a new person to grow inside of you” – The Pilgrimage

2. Read something new and exciting

3. Go for a long walk in a new park

4. Plant some seeds (literally and metaphorically/spiritually)

5. Spring clean and decluttering session

6. Write or get creative in new ways (photography)

7. Try something for the first time

8. Plan a trip/ go somewhere new (when we’re allowed to!)

9. Visit family and friends (when we’re allowed to!)

10. Set and work towards a new personal goal

Take care, enjoy the season, set your intentions!

 

Sincerely,

S. xx

Why You’re Struggling to Write

It’s been a while since I wrote any writing/creativity related posts and so I thought I’d do a quick one. I’ve been doing some soul-searching and asking myself why I’ve struggled to write and complete a draft of a book for over a year. I’ve written a lot, and started many manuscripts, but I haven’t had that passion and drive and completed any since November 2018.

Why?

Here are some potential reasons as to why, which may apply to you, too.

 

It’s the wrong story

You may be trying but failing to write anything because you’re trying to write a story that your heart’s not in. This may mean that it was a cool idea that ran dry. Or a cool idea that had no personal connection for you. You’re trying to be disciplined and push on, but truly, it’s just not meant to be.

You’re not meant to write that story.

Don’t get dejected, it happens. Maybe you needed to write some of that story to make way for the right story later. Just because this one didn’t work, doesn’t mean no other one will.

 

You have other priorities

You are putting other things ahead of your writing. In the last 6 months, that was work and my university studies for me. I work 8-4 (pre-quarantine) 5 days a week. When I get home, I walk my dog and have a cup of tea and then get to my uni work. By then, I’m usually tuckered out and not in the mood to push for writing a chapter, too.

With the right priorities, we get the right things done, though.

Analyse what you are assigning importance to. What are you putting time and energy into right now, and are those the right things?

 

Excuses

You keep telling yourself lies (or half-truths) that give you permission not to write.

“I’m too tired”

“I’ve worked hard at work today”

“I’ll write at the weekend…”

Even if these things are true, ask yourself if that truth needs to actually prevent you from writing. Writing is something you’re supposed to enjoy, so why are you letting excuses stop you?

I’ve written while tired plenty of times. I’m a tired person by nature! So why let tiredness stop you so often now? You aren’t too tired to watch Netflix or scroll social media or do other non-important stuff, so why are you too tired to write (again, that thing you’re supposed to enjoy)?

No one said you have to write a perfect chapter. No one said it has to be for long or reach a certain word count. No one said you have to do it on your laptop (I know screens can be bad for your eyes, especially when tired). Just do something, anything, in any way that you can.

Don’t let excuses run the show.

 

Perfectionism

You want the writing to be amazing every time and this paralyses you. Again, when I say don’t let excuses stop you, I mean they are usually only stopping you because when you do sit down to write, you’re expecting it to be great work each time. It will not be; it doesn’t have to be!

Instead, give yourself permission to write a shoddy scene!

Let go of the need to write a polished, publish-worthy chapter every time. All books go through rounds and rounds and rounds of editing with professionals before they reach our shelves. To expect our own work to stack up to that, is just barking mad!

 

Need a break

Just like anyone else, writers need breaks away from writing! Gasp! I think this is so hard for us because for many writers, writing isn’t just what we do, it’s a part of who we are. We identify with being a writer as a part of our personality. And so, not to write means losing a part of who you are. It feels wrong; you feel lost.

But this can be dangerous. Over-identifying with anything can be difficult because as soon as something changes, you feel like you’re actually in pain. Like something is very wrong.

But it’s okay to take a break. It doesn’t mean you’re no longer a writer. It doesn’t make you lazy or stupid or poor. It makes you human.

In fact, by stepping away for a while and not forcing the writing, you’ll find that ideas and inspiration will come back to you. The love for it will return.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder!”

 

Wrong reason why

And lastly, maybe it’s because you’re writing for all the wrong reasons. Maybe, like me, you’re no longer writing for the love of it but because you “have to” and you “need to“. This puts a lot of pressure on it and therefore it feels stifled.

Me and a friend of mine realised that we’ve been writing with the focus on publishing for a while. This is pretty normal, but when you can’t help but look to the end result, you put unnecessary stress on the process.

The first draft is about freedom, discovery and creativity. Potential and abandon. But when focusing on this perfect end product that’s going to make your life change forever and make you loads of money…it’s just not healthy; it’s frightening.

I’ve been journaling lately about maybe letting go of the idea of becoming published. Not that I don’t want to be an author or will stop trying, just that I will stop focusing on that. To give myself permission to write just because, with no aim to publish. To let go of some imagined timeline or better future once I get published.

It’s freeing…

Because I started self-publishing at 18, I started to write to publish. That became an obvious and natural goal. But Elizabeth Gilbert, among other great advisors, points out how suffocating that is. That our vocation, our love, our sacred special thing should not be forced into making us money and being revered by millions. If it does later, so be it. But that shouldn’t be, at least for me, what I put my energy into.

 

There you have it, some hard truths and very real ideas about why you may be struggling to write right now. I hope you can get honest with yourself, find the reason, and get back to doing what you love in no time.

Take care,

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

Attending to Your Basic Needs (podcast)

When we feel low or off, we often panic that something big is wrong with us. However, I think a lot of the time, it comes down to our basic needs not being met. Inspired by playing The Sims (lol), I am talking about our basic needs and how they can affect us in life when they’re in the red rather than in the green.

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/attending-to-your-basic-needs.mp3

xx

Book Review of Sacred Powers: This Book Has Changed Me!

I loved this book! Simple, review done!

Joking aside, this book was unexpectedly great. I bought it because my favourite YouTuber (Kalyn Nicholson) always mentions it. To be honest, I feared it would be some wishy-washy nonsense.

Oh, how I was wrong!

It was wonderfully written and easy to read, firstly, which is unexpected from a spiritual book. He is clearly a down to earth man who loves meditation and self-exploration. Not some hippie-dippie guy who knows nothing or too-much, if you get what I mean!

 

Anyway, I loved this book because it reminded me of Brene Brown. I read The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong last year and adored both of them. They both encouraged me to look within and get journaling and opening up about my deep-rooted beliefs and emotional reactions in life. These were the birthplace of my workbooks which you can download from my site.

The reason David Ji’s book, Sacred Powers, reminded me of Brene Brown’s is because, once again, I got out my journal and dove deep. And I mean DEEP!!

I unearthed some heavy stuff that I won’t mention here. It’s personal, it’s painful and I’m still working on it. But he has a brilliant way of holding your hand and gently walking you through the garden of your own psyche…

He points at a tree and asks if there’s apples growing there or oranges. If the tree is tall and fruitful or shrunken and barren. He then guides you to the river and has you look at your reflection in the rippling waters. He asks what you see. Are you the water? Are you in the water? Is the water in you?

This may sound crazy to you, I don’t know. But anyone who has been actively trying to better themselves, work through their past, heal, change their lives, or connect deeper with themselves on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level should read this book.

And as I said to a friend of mine, when reading this kind of book it’s okay to take what you need and what serves you then forget the rest. You don’t need to believe in God or do the full-scale meditations that he suggests, if that doesn’t resonate.

 

So, what did it cover that I found enlightening, eye-opening, and healing? Here are but some of the gifts it gave me:

Awareness of my awareness
How to be present
Figuring out how much attention I’m giving to areas of my life
Mantras for meditations
Permission to “begin again” in any moment
Rebirth and renewal
Highlighting problem areas within myself
Redefining who I think I am
Analysing how I have been “winning” in life and realising that it wasn’t serving me
Chakras and means of opening them; Throat and Heart chakras in particular
Sacred questions to ask myself for clarity, change, and awareness (became journal prompts)
Setting Intentions
Transformation and evolving
Emotional healing
Hand-me-down belief systems
Forgiving myself
Slower living
Abundance mindset
Trusting the universe and myself
Divine love
Nourishment versus Distractions

 

“What I seek, I already am”

 

I wish I’d wrote this post as I went along, so that I could better capture all the amazing things he said. I did take plenty of notes and followed along with the activities in the book, but sharing it all here wouldn’t work.

I just want to urge anyone who is lost, unconfident, sad, emotionally scarred, or seeking something more (a Higher Force) to buy this book. I’m sure I’ll read it again in my lifetime.

It was beautiful and it was wonderfully symbolic that I just happened to read it the week of Easter (a time of rebirth), my 25th birthday, and the coming of Spring. Actually, I think that was no coincidence at all…

 

Get your copy of Sacred Powers from Amazon here! (I got my second-hand from eBay).

Take care.

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

Journal Entry: My 6 Month Transformation

6 months ago, I said to myself that I wanted to turn things around. 2019 wasn’t my best year, and so I wanted to end it in a better position than when I started; to start 2020 off well and basically have my shit together before turning 25.

And I did just that.

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This note is from my phone. It’s what I listed for myself 6 months ago. I was unemployed, overweight, project-less book-wise, unmotivated, unsure, lost…

Skip forward to now and everything is different. Minus the whole quarantine thing, life is good. It’s positive. By no means perfect, but a ghost of what it was 6 months ago. I feel like a whole new person. Cliche or dramatic, you may say, but wholly true the more I think about it.

Why? How so?

 

The main thing is money. No, I do not believe that money is everything. That we should live by money or put our value and self-worth in money. However, financial security, awareness and health are oh so important.

Not being able to afford, well, anything, is no way to live. I don’t like leaning on other people. I like to bring something to the table myself and have that independence, too. Plus, the constant struggle; the anal checking of your bank account, and not knowing if you’ll make it to payday, and borrowing often is just exhausting. Not to mention, for me, that’s not what my ideal self looks like. Not my grown-up, 25 badass bitch self!

I’ve had two jobs since writing that note. One in a shop, the other being my new one in a school. I chose to level-up. I chose to not let that store be my final destination. I was so grateful to the store for bringing an income back into my life, getting me out of the house and helping me make friends. It gave me back my confidence. Then, once I got what I needed from there, I sought an out. And the school job provided.

Or rather, the universe did.

I went looking, and the universe gave me an opportunity. Thankfully, I was brave enough to take it. It’s changed my life. When the schools reopen, I’ll be back on track for what is hopefully a new, fulfilling and long-lasting chapter of my life, whilst also providing financial stability.

 

And the weight! No, I wasn’t large. I am lucky to have good metabolism in general. After changing my contraception in 2017, I gained over a stone in weight…very quickly. Other women know how contraception sucks in this respect, alongside mood swings and the imbalance of hormones… yeah, not great.

My family thought I was pregnant, but I was exactly the opposite! Their jokes were hard to hear.

Shifting that weight was difficult. I wasn’t used to having it. The weight came through little fault of my own and changed the way I saw myself. Funnily enough, only in being less obsessed with losing the weight did I finally shift it. No gym, just walking. In 2019, we got a puppy and he kept us active. That, alongside more intentional eating (not dieting, ever!) and jogging over the summer, I slowly lost the weight. I am now just past the mark in the healthy green zone for my height and age now.

 

In October, I started studying again. I won’t go too much into it because I already did a blog post on my decision to study. But this was huge, too. Taking this step meant so much and I felt so afraid. Fast-forward to now and I’m almost done for the year! 1 month left. And I’ve been really good at it. I’ve got consistently good grades. I’ve felt semi-confident. I’ve felt happy! How great is that?

 

And I wanted to feel like me again.

Who am I? Why didn’t I feel like me?

Well, I don’t like to be sad, unmotivated and unproductive. I don’t like drifting every day, feeling useless or like I’m wasting my potential. I have a lot to offer, and so not offering it feels wrong to me!

But now I feel like me again. Giving and helping in schools. Confidently publishing content. Exploring ideas for stories. Being able to move my body without restriction or self-loathing. Knowing what I want and what I’m doing. Knowing what I’m capable of. Knowing my worth and providing it. Studying and learning about things that interest me and make me better. Exploring myself. Deep seeking and journeying. Just…yeah, good vibes!

 

I may not have finished a manuscript in the 6 months as I wanted. And with the pandemic, of course, I haven’t been able to go abroad! But they’re small things. Perhaps the easiest to do in the next 6 months to come (providing the world goes back to normal!)

So yeah, 6 months can change a lot. Ups and downs but balance and transformation, if you work at it and act with intention and set those goals and put it out into the universe.

I hope I remember this, next time I feel lost (because we all do now and again).

 

Sincerely,

S. xx

25 Life Lessons at 25 Years Old

It’s my birthday!

I’m now 25; a quarter of a century years old! I feel like I’m in a good place personally, and so what I thought would be an awful transition into the second half of my 20s, has been a welcomed and enlightening experience instead. I have achieved a lot up until this point. I can’t genuinely say that I didn’t do anything “wrong” or doomed myself or anything drastic like that! I feel happy, is what I’m saying, with the life I’ve made for myself so far…

Yes, there’s a lot of time left to live (hopefully) and a lot I plan to do with it, but for now, I’m content.

 

Here are 25 life lessons I’ve found in my 25 years on this uncertain yet beautiful world we live in…

There is no such thing are going “backwards” in life.
A dog makes a bad day worth living.
Healthy eating is delicious and not at all a punishment.
Financial health is a priority: take that shiz seriously.
Taking a break from something you love is OK.
Do things before you’re “ready”.
Accept fear’s presence and take that step anyway.
You don’t NEED social media.
Priorities, organisation and focus = time for what matters
Pick your battles in life, not everyone and everything is an enemy for you to fight.
A walk goes a long way to feeling better about anything.
Have compassion and empathy for others, we all go through hard times.
We all change physically and mentally all the time; also, we all SHOULD change in these ways.
Don’t be afraid to commit to things in life; also, don’t be afraid to explore, experiment, be curious in life.
Gratitude and an intentional perspective/narrative shift can do wonders for health and happiness.
Health and happiness ALWAYS come first.
Find a way to do what you have to do in a way that you enjoy (even a little!)
Reading opens all sorts of doors.
Taste the world: languages, cultures, lifestyles, cuisines.
Give it time.
The world won’t end from a bad grade, a bad day, an embarrassing moment, rejection, or something not working out.
Tomorrow and yesterday haven’t got much to do with today; just live today.
Just as you eat and move for your body, pay attention and act in accordance with what is good for your mind and spirit, too.
Seriously, like SERIOUSLY, don’t take life so seriously.
As long as you have a handful of good people, you can tackle anything in life.

 

Let me know your favourite life insights and epiphanies below! This is by no means an exhaustive list. There’s so much I’ve learned and want to share, but when it comes to writing it out, my mind goes a bit blank! But I am so grateful for my life so far and the things/people in it. I am excited to see what’s next but I’m learning to relax and take each step as they come.

 

Here are some resources that have helped me learn these lessons:

YouTube: Kalyn Nicholson, Lavendaire, Muchelle B, Nathaniel Drew, Matt D’Avella, Sorelle Amore, Erin May Henry, etc.
Podcasts: CoffeeTalk Podcast (Kalyn Nicholson), Lavendaire, Awesome with Alison, On Purpose (Jay Shetty), The School of Greatness and many others.
Books and authors speaking: Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Oprah, Tim Ferris, Eckhart Tolle, Paulo Coehlo, Alan Watts, Pema Chodron,
Topics: Philosophy, Psychology, Self-Help, Self-Development, Spirituality, Mythology, History, Creativity and Self-Exploration/Discovery.
Journaling and Meditation
Walking

 

Take care.

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx