S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 45

Copacabana NY (poem)

Underground space always alive. Awake.

Laughter, clinking glasses, dancing heels

the song of the sax

chant of the cello

pull of the piano.

Each ever-moving body

is clad, head to toe,

in golds and silvers

twinkling like stars, at night

with every jig.

Suit and tie are mandatory, here.

 

Mystery is kept

by smoky whispers of cigars,

dimly lit lamps

perfect for the rumbling

of romance…

 

And their eyes haven’t seen

                                                    straight

for hours. Days, weeks, years…

Intoxicated with the blur

of dark liquids and small pills.

But legs don’t crumble, here.

Strengthened by mirth;

Coaxed by fast-friends

 

Even the Top Dogs that bark

and bite

laugh here.

Lords at war with their postcode laws, broken

– by neighbouring Kings.

Heads in beds, don’t sleep.

But there’s peace at the watering hole

Lion and lamb both drink.

Stop Sprinting to the Finish Line (podcast)

In this ever-changing modern world that we live in, we feel pulled and pushed in many directions all at once. Our attention has become divided. We face comparisons and the Fear of Missing Out on a regular basis. And of course, with all this, we find ourselves sprinting to keep up or to make it to some imagined finished line.

But we must stop.

“There needs to be a space between the doing…”

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/stop-sprinting-to-the-finish-line.mp3

xx

What Intentional Living Really Means: The Pillars of An Intentional Lifestyle

Around this time of year (January) we can all be a bit too rigid, fixed and obsessed with habits and goals. Even more so if you’re already a person who’s interested in self-development, or you’re highly ambitious.

But…Life is to be lived, let’s not forget!

Life is the thing that happens between the planning…

And that’s a good thing.

Spontaneous adventure is thrilling and it can bring gifts we would never have foreseen for ourselves. But if you are too strict about everything in your life, you will miss this wonderful opportunity which regular life presents to us.

Instead, simply adopting an Intentional Lifestyle could be all you really need to ensure you’re productive, successful and happy, while also allowing room for weird and wonderful happenstance…

 

For me, an Intentional Lifestyle is something you think about. You don’t just act or feel without any thought. You consider what you’re doing and why (within limits). And so, here are the Four Pillars of an Intentional Lifestyle (according to me)…

 

1 – Reasons behind the big things

An intentional lifestyle (or intentional living) means having a reason behind why you do the things you do. You’re conscious to who you are and why you do things.

It is important not to take this too far, though. Restricting and pre-planning every little thing will only stifle your endeavours and not to mention burn you out. Instead, focus on the big things…

 

Your job

Most of us spend the majority of our time working, and so, this is a pretty massive area of your lives! It takes up our time and energy, so we must be careful about what we choose to do.

We work for money, yes, something we need in this world. Getting a job, any job, to make money that you need is completely understandable and we all do it. But that doesn’t mean you should do this forever…

You could have a job you don’t like while finding, exploring, or building one you do like. I have a job that brings me money, while studying creative writing and practising my craft, which will hopefully become my income later.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Doing a job you like does not mean it will be sunshine and rainbows everyday! You’ll still have to work hard. You’ll still have days when you don’t want to show up. But when you enjoy what you do, you do it better and feel healthier and happier doing it.

 

Your relationships

Please, be intentional about your relationships! We are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with, and so, be selective. We sometimes can’t help it (i.e. who are colleagues are at work) but we can choose how much time and energy we give to the wrong people.

Our environment can have a negative or positive effect on our health and happiness; people are part of our environment. So, have a reason for the people you give your time and energy to. What do they bring into your life? How do you feel when you’re around them? Are you giving time to them at the expense of yourself? Is it because you’re afraid of being alone?

I’ve felt more lonely in a crowd of people who don’t understand me, than alone by myself.

 

Yourself

I’ve done a lot of thinking about what it means to be who we are (you can check out my essays on the Identity Series on my site).

We are, generally and literally speaking, the things we do. You can’t say you’re a writer if you never write, right? You can’t be a traveller if you’ve never left your homeland! We aren’t what we think or feel; these are ever-changing, fleeting elements or expressions of consciousness…or something!

The only real way that we can be intentional about ourselves is to be aware and have reasons behind what we do. Not controlling (I really can’t stress this enough) but just more considerate.

Think before you speak, because what we say matters and affects others.

Don’t just do random things just because (all the time), instead connect with your inner world (mind, spirit, whatever) and ask yourself what would be really interesting, fulfilling, or challenging for you personally?

Hobbies, passions, projects, self-expression, and whatever else take up time and energy. They affect you mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. So, consider these with a little more awareness and intention.

 

Your Health

Pick what you put into your mind and body with intention. Have an awareness of what you consume and how it affects you personally.

This is food and drink but it is also content online and television and film etc. It’s the opinions of others and everything in-between. What’s getting inside you, why, and how does it feel?

 

2 – Awareness

You need to be aware, awake, to what you do and who you are in order to be intentional. Again, don’t take this too far and be overly aware of yourself and thus self-conscious or anal about what you do.

It’s simply about being perceptive and vigilant.

You can be aware that you’re watching a lot of TV lately. That you’ve been feeling stressed or sad. Or of having spent too much money.

You don’t need to necessarily do anything about these things (that would be a personal judgement call for you to make), but being aware of them is the important part.

For health and happiness, you need to be aware of what you think, feel, and do. This will help you be more present and mindful. It will help you be more grateful for what you have. It will help you gain information to use for change, if necessary.

 

3 – Focus

This, for me, is like a North Star. A purpose or larger goal for your life. This is not to say that you should have only one goal or passion or purpose. Or that once that thing is achieved, that’s it you can die now!

Your goals or purpose or passions can (and likely will) change as you do.

And that’s ok.

But having one is key to an intentional lifestyle. It will guide you in decision-making and action-taking.

My more traditional purpose is to write stories and make a living that way. But my guiding North Star and mission statement is to feel at peace within myself. To be in service to others when healing myself. To achieve balance in life.

It’s not about the how of your life, it’s the why that drives you forwards.

 

4 – Authenticity

Lastly, to live an intentional life you need to be authentic about it. As in, your lifestyle, your choices, your actions, your words need to be genuine; real. They need to be wholly you.

We are shaped by those around us and with things like television and social media, we are shaped by what we see on screens on a regular basis, too. This is normal. However, we need to be careful not to become something we’re not.

Intentional living and authenticity means knowing who you are and developing a love/acceptance for that person. It means witnessing outside influences, but allowing them to pass through our internal filter; “does this resonate with who I am or who I want to be?” and then acting accordingly.

Are you saying or doing certain things just to fit in?

Do you dress or act a certain way to be more appealing to others, while making yourself uncomfortable or unhappy?

Are you working that job because it feels right and true to you, or because of the money or someone else’s approval?

It often comes down to the influences, judgement or threat of other people; this is when our authentic selves can slip. But when you show up each day, and choose in each moment to be yourself (yes, it’s a regular and often hard choice, as Brene Brown says), then we are being intentional and authentic. We are staying true to who we are, what we believe in, and what we enjoy.

It’s about knowing and honouring your values.

It’s about integrity.

It’s about self-truth.

 

Last Tips

How to be more intentional and mindful:

Take your time – Rushing and reacting is the opposite of mindfulness and intention. Instead, take your time. Look within. Breathe. What do you want, need, or value? How can you make the right decisions that suit those wants and needs?
Write it out – Not only does it help you understand and see clearly, it also serves as a reminder when confused or conflicted.
Self-talk – It’s not just society that’s against us, unfortunately, it’s also our worst critic: Ourselves. Be aware of your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself on a regular basis? Is it affecting your actions, beliefs and decisions? If so, rewire your thoughts. Use a mantra or reminder; you know who you really are and what you want and the negative self-talk is inauthentic and not true. This will help you make decisions with intention because you’re mindful of the thoughts behind them.
Belief system analysis – Question your beliefs. Question what you have come to accept as real and true. This will help you to reset (or set) intentions with real, strong, true foundations.

 

Good luck with your more intentional lifestyle, guys!

 

Sincerely,

S.

xx

 

 

Broken Compass (poem)

Lost and uncertain

The space between a forgotten

past and an elusive future

grows. Thickens.

Stretching across the black sea

I’m surrounded. My boat drifts

along the endless landscape

of time. My clock, ticks.

Is it this way, or that?

 

I’ve long been alone,

here.

Broken compass shifts,

with each passing tide.

Am I moving closer?

Or further away?

A haunting crossroads,

split road, oh endless pathway

you taunt me.

Stuck here, now.

I once knew…surely?

 

Time exists not. Not for me.

Here, now.

But then, when?

Abandoned by a silent

Guardian Angel.

Empty pages flicker past

This or that?

Wrong answer. Oh God.

 

What if I choose not to

choose?

Will the Reaper lift his scythe

and strike? Broken clock

Next to my broken compass.

Change Your Life Your Way (podcast)

We all want to take steps towards lasting change in the new year and the new decade, but we often fall short when we’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Today I’m talking about the important areas for changing your life, with a focus on doing it your way!

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/change-your-life-your-way.mp3

xx

How to Succeed with Your Goals: 5 Things to Remember About Goal-Setting

Specifics

When setting a goal, it often feels harder to reach them when you don’t have any specifics down. You want more money? Well, how much? Why? You want to travel, but where?

It’s also sometimes a good idea to pinpoint other specifics, like a time-frame or how you’re going to achieve it. So, with less specific goals, like “better physical health” you might want to say that “by summer, I want to jog without having to stop“. Or, “I will improve my health by doing yoga and jogs throughout the week“.

I am being careful with this one because I feel that goals which are too specific can be a set up for failure. As in, I will run 5k in 3 months by jogging 5 times a week every morning. That’s likely to fail because there’s no wiggle room. There’s too much pressure and if you slip up even a little, you’re likely to beat yourself up for it and quit.

So, be specific but also don’t overwhelm yourself or stifle the goal with too many parameters.

It’s good to have a goal that is more about a feeling or an intention, and then be specific from there…

 

For example:

“I want to read more books and feel like I’m learning new things. This will improve my craft, intelligence, and knowledge. I will make this a routine part of my day, fitting it in where possible. Ideally, I want to read 24 books this year, 2 a month.”

Specific, realistic, action-based, intentional, and includes a feeling you want to achieve. Done!

 

Progress Tracking

The next thing to think about when goal-setting is progress. You need to be in control of your progress otherwise you will fall short. This is because, with many goals, the progress can feel slow when you’re too focused on the end result. Instead, focusing on progress (big or small) is a great motivator to keep you going.

So, for me, I have a progress tracker on my whiteboard for the 24 books I aim to read this year. That way I can colour in the little boxes as I go, seeing that I’m not at 24 yet, but with every book, I’m getting closer. This feels good and keeps me going.

I also have a Habit Tracker. I tally my habits each day as I do them, displaying what I need to do and showing that each week I’m doing them (or not). This makes me feel good even if the desired end result isn’t yet reached (i.e. I’m not a yogi master yet, but I can see that I did yoga 5 times in a week, thus moving forwards).

Focus on the little steps forward and reward yourself for them, where appropriate. This will keep you motivated and not end with you quitting!

TIP: Use the Two-Day Rule where you are allowed to miss a day with a goal or a habit, but never two days in a row. So, you can (theoretically) miss more than one day in a week, but never two days consecutively. This ensures that you don’t fall off track, but allows you to be human and have a break.

 

Sphere of control

It’s important to bear in mind that your goals for 2020 need to be focused on things that you are actually in control of. If you try to set goals outside of your control, you are putting them in the hands of someone else, thus setting yourself up for potential hurt and failure.

So, don’t set the goal of reaching 10k Instagram followers; instead, set the goal of posting more regularly and learning about the algorithm (or whatever!)

Don’t set the goal of getting straight As at university; set the goal of putting more time into your study sessions, getting help from your tutor, and reading more around the topics you’re studying.

Focus on what you can literally do to achieve your desired outcome, not on something that is in the hands of someone else or fate or anything else.

 

Keep it personal with a why

As I always say, goals are personal! You are less likely to succeed at a goal if you’re doing it for or because of someone else. Or if it means nothing to you on a personal level.

The goal of running a marathon means nothing to me. It’s cool and challenging and fantastic, but I’m not a runner (anymore) and I don’t have any desire to run such a length. Improved stamina and flexibility, totally! But a marathon…no thanks.

The same goes for anything else. Don’t set goals because other people are setting them. Don’t do things to look cool or brave or just because it’s the New Year. These things are likely to fail.

But when you set a goal based on a personal and strong reason why, you are more likely to be motivated to do it and keep at it even when it’s hard.

I want to read and write more. My reasons why:

Reading helps me write better
Reading improves my intelligence and knowledge (something I feel insecure about a lot)
Writing brings me joy
Writing is a big part of who I am
Writing helps me understand myself and the world
I want to make a career as a novelist
I want to speak more articulately
Stories make me feel alive; somehow you can escape into them while understanding your own life better at the same time

These reasons why drive me towards sitting at my desk and hitting the keyboard; they drive me to pick up a book instead of my phone.

If I set the goal “just because“, then trust me, I wouldn’t bother.

 

Habits – make it your lifestyle

And lastly, you can’t look at goals as an end destination, as I said before. You will do well to simply make them a part of your life. This is why things like running a marathon can sometimes be harder to achieve than simply saying I want the habit of being a runner.

It takes time to ingrain habits into your life, sure, but once you have them, you’re golden! I never used to read often; definitely not by default. But now I do, with ease. It takes time but with a real reason why and perseverance and enjoyment in what you’re doing, it becomes a lifestyle choice.

Make your chosen goals a habitual part of your life. A routine, a lifestyle, a part of who you are. Then, before you know it, you’ll be doing the things you once wished you could without even thinking about it.

 

Tips for developing habits:

Set up your environment for that habit: keep a book by your bed, keep your yoga mat out, get your jogging clothes ready the night before, don’t store junk food in the house…
Be held accountable: tell someone you trust and have them help or keep on top of you, write yourself notes, have a habit tracker displayed to keep you on track
Make it easy: break it down into smaller chunks, set a short timer for a task, make it less daunting, get help
Set your specifics: I’ll write 1k a day, I’ll read 10 pages a day, I will enter a fun run in July, I will enter a writing competition in Autumn…
Make it fun: reward yourself for doing them, include fun elements like music or dancing or doing them with a buddy, make yourself look forward to doing them

 

Be patient, be kind, have fun and don’t see your goals or habits as a punishment! I surely hope they’re not. When you want to do these things, you actually do them. So, enjoy the journey.

 

Good luck!

Sincerely,

S. 

 

The Ache of Knowing (poem)

It is a horrid thing.

Knowing the exact weight

of choice.

Knowing, from here, you fly or

you fall.

This is it.

 

Loud are the opinions,

the “advice” and judgement

of others.

Tip-toe ahead…

or leap?

from the cliffside

Will wings grow as I

fall?

It hurts

to be so aware.

 

And it’s so close, I taste it.

I’ve always wanted this dream.

But what if this moment

is black? Faded

wrong.

Fall on your face for all

to see

The dream lied.

Reduced to grey nightmares;

burned to ash

by foolish fingers

 

‘Oh, Naive Child

Playing at life

Don’t you know that safe

is safer?’

I ache from the knowing.

And so, I shrink…

 

Parcel up the dream

leave it for another

foolish heart

‘Will you flourish

as I could not?

Or will you give in to

the ache of knowing?’

Self-Exploration in 2020 (podcast)

This year I’m realising that my journey, my focus, my mindset is all about self-exploration. My content, therefore, will also be around this idea. Not self-development or self-help, per se, but exploring the self, the world, and life as we know it from all angles…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/self-exploration-in-2020.mp3

xx

10 Changes in Awareness to Make in 2020

It’s a new year and a new decade which means it’s time for some changes! Every year, most people start off trying to make changes in their lives. However, these can often fall short. I think this usually comes down to a lack of motivation, lack of quick progress, and poorly set goals in the first place.

Here are 10 things that you can change in your life simply by actively and consciously altering your AWARENESS of these things…

 

1 – Possessions and Space

Some of us are completely unaware of how much stuff we have! We always aim to tidy up and clean, trying to find a space and a home for everything we have, when in reality, we probably don’t need as much as we have in the first place.

Not everyone is interested in the minimalist lifestyle; that’s fine. However, it is a good idea to be aware of what you’re buying and why. The intention behind your purchase could make all the difference.

Are you buying it just because it’s cheap?

Do you actually need it?

Will you use it/ wear it enough to warrant the purchase?

Do you have a place for it?

Ask yourself questions before buying. Stick to a budget. If you are buying new things, perhaps adopt the idea of the “one in, one out” rule, where if you buy a new jumper, you sell or donate an old one (for example).

Simply being more aware of what you buy and why will surely decrease the amount you spend and the amount of stuff you accumulate. Similarly, an awareness of what’s in your home and whether it’s needed will help you to change how you look at what you own.

“Does it spark joy?” – Marie Kondo

If you don’t need it, if it doesn’t make you happy, get rid of it!

 

2 – The Environment

I am no expert in this area. I have yet to dive deep into how I can become more environmentally conscious and friendly myself. However, I do hope to make even small changes in 2020 and going forwards – as should we all.

This is our planet. Ours. It is our duty to protect it. To ensure that all life here has a home and is thriving. We all have a role to play. Small changes can make a big difference and it all starts with simply being aware of what you’re doing and how it may affect our world.

Meat consumption
Carbon footprint
Greenhouse gases
Plastic use
Fast fashion
Deforestation
Pollution

 

3 – Social Media Consumption

It’s good that more people are talking about our obsession with social media and how unhealthy it can be. No one is saying that we should give it up altogether or that it is the apps themselves that are to blame. However, we all could do with being more conscious of how much time we spend on social media and what we are actually consuming.

Do you follow accounts that make you feel good?

Are you inspired and motivated by it, or jealous and sad?

Are you wasting precious time staring into the lives of others too much?

Your health is important. Your time is important. Be aware of how your social media is making you feel. Be stricter about what you look at and how long for.

Unfollow accounts that make you feel low
Set limits on your phone so that you can’t endlessly scroll
Stop using it after a certain time at night
Delete the apps now and again/ have a detox

 

4 – Sustenance

Just as with social media consumption, be more attentive to what you are putting into your body. I will never tell you to do set diets. I believe in balance. However, we all could do with being more conscious about the foods and drinks we put inside us.

These foods will affect your body directly, so be aware of whether it’s in a good way or not.

How do you feel after eating certain foods?

Do you know how to cook or do you get takeaways and frozen foods all the time?

Are you gaining energy or losing it?

Are you hydrated enough?

How’s your digestive system?

As cliche as it is: your body is a temple, treat it as such.

 

5 – Activity

It is easy to spend your whole day sitting if you’re not careful. Sitting in the car, sitting at your desk, sitting on the sofa at home. This isn’t good for us. It’s good for our hearts to stand, and even better to move your body often.

Stretch whenever you can to keep your muscles, bones, and joints feeling flexible, strong, and healthy.

I won’t tell you which exercises to do or when; that’s up to you. But it is important to move your body every day. Walk as much as you can. Get your heart rate up with an activity of higher intensity.

You will find energy and motivation from movement; be aware of how much you’re getting.

 

6 – Relationships

I know it can be hard as a busy adult to maintain good relationships. We often find that we spend time with the same people (or person) repeatedly; we fall into a routine.

It is important to not neglect other relationships. Call your mom, have coffee with your sister, visit your grandparents, have lunch with an old friend.

Also, be aware of how you are with people. Are you being present when you’re with them? As in, are you giving them your undivided attention? Are you listening? Engaging? Connecting?

Do you make time for the right people?

Do you spend time with people who make you feel good? Are you making them feel good, too?

I want to forgive those I love more quickly in 2020; to give to them freely and be my best self for and with them.

Simply up your awareness of and in your relationships; take care of them.

 

7 – Emotional Heath

I won’t dive too deep into this one as I always talk about mental and emotional health, but it could be important for you to better your awareness of these aspects of health in 2020.

You needn’t hop on the latest trends such as yoga, meditation and bullet journaling if you don’t want to – although, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! I think that simply being more aware of how you feel and what you think and why is all you really need.

What affects you?

And document it, for reference and analysis and personal insight. It could be life-changing.

 

8 – Habits

Pay attention to your routines; to your habits. What do you do without even thinking about it? What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you eat each day of the week? How often do you pick up your phone to check on social media?

Being aware of your habits can be eye-opening. You could be doing plenty of things that have gone unnoticed. These could be good…or bad.

In 2020, by picking up on these things, you may see patterns that need altering. You may finally find more time to do things you actually want to do, instead of things you’ve been doing out of habit that are no good for you.

 

9 – Reading and Learning

It is important to be aware of the information you are taking in. Are you more likely to spend an hour reading tweets on Twitter, or reading a book? I think it’s interesting how some people say they have no time to read or learn, but are quite happy to sift through random (often useless) memes and tweets and the like on social media!

Now, do what you want, of course! But we all must agree that there is less life-changing, healthy, useful info found in memes than in books…right?

I’m mostly talking to those people who say, “I’d like to read more but I don’t have the time” or “I want to learn a new language but I can’t fit it in.”

You probably do have time, it’s just about being aware of how you’re spending your time and how you could better spend it.

It will be so good for you, I promise you, to read and learn more actively. Be aware of the information you’re taking in this year, from where, how, and why.

 

10 – Who you are

I’ve saved the best for last! In 2020, it’s time to pay attention to who you are. Who you really are. I believe you are what you do. You can’t say you’re a writer if you never write anything…right? Titles are just titles unless you can back them up.

So, who are you? What do you do?

Heavy questions, I know! This is why you need to adopt a better self-awareness in 2020. Self-awareness is the key to everything:

Habits and change
Self-actualisation
Intentions and authenticity
Health and happiness
Relationships and connection
Self-knowledge
Confidence

Get to know yourself. Reignite the parts of you that have been forgotten or neglected. Show up more often as your best self by actually knowing who you are and what you’re capable of.

What skills do you have? What are you good at?

What are your dreams? Your goals? Your deepest desires?

What makes you feel good? Who? Why?

What would you like to learn? What would you like to get better at?

What are your strengths? Your weaknesses?

What are your values?

What’s your purpose? Your passions?

Who are you?

Pay attention to that person, because they’re pretty darn important!

 

There you have it, my 10 things to change with awareness in 2020. Did you like my list? Let me know…

x

 

 

8 Things to Do in January to Start the Year Right (podcast)

It’s January and now that it’s the first Monday of the new year, it’s time to get down to business! Here are 8 things that I think will set the right tone for the year if you get started on them straight away in January…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/8-things-to-do-in-january-to-start-the-year-right.mp3

Happy New Year! xx