S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 43

Ways to make the most of self-isolation

I don’t want to make light of this situation. It’s devastating and affecting so many lives and livelihoods. However, if you are someone who has to self-isolate (as many of us are) then here are some ideas to help you keep in good spirits.

Read…like a lot!Catch up (on whatever it is that you’ve fallen behind on: emails, coursework, exercise, checking in on friends online, housework etc.)Learn something new: podcasts, TedTalks, YouTube, online learning platforms, etc.Quality time with those in your householdGentle, relaxing time (bath, face mask, nails, eyebrows, candles, Netflix)Exercise at home: in the garden, using household items for weights, yoga, dance etc.Eat well and intentionallyGet cozy with blankets, hot drinks, and fluffy socksPlant something in your gardenJournal your thoughtsRedecorate your spaceWrite something (blog, poetry, short story, novel, journal, memoir)Connect deeply with yourself (spiritually, inner world)



Connect with your kids and play!

Catch up on some needed rest

Rewatch and binge great shows and films: Avatar The Last Airbender, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation, HIMYM, Friends and so on.

Have some discipline and actually read the books you already own for once! *cough, chough yeah, Siana, cough!*

Message and support friends during this hard timeWrite lettersScrapbookCook new foodsPlay video gamesKeep your brain active with puzzles and brainteaser gamesFamily quiz timeWatch or upload to YouTubeLearn a languageRevisit an old hobby or skill: painting, drawing, photography, interior design…Clean, declutter and tidy up your spaceGet organised and prepared for normal life again (get proactive!): travel plans, goal setting, financial plans, etc.Be more mindful and intentional about your spending, socialising, activity, and health

 

Here’s a link to Kalyn Nicholson’s list of 60 things to do (as she and many others have had the same idea about sharing tips!)

 

My personal “extra time inside” goals list:

Read as many of the books I own

Write my book (I have a new story idea that is in the very early stages so, with more free time, I’d like to work on this and perhaps get to finally actively write something this year!)

Write and perhaps share a poetry collection

Write a short story

Finish my OU module with a good grade (finishes the end of May)

Spring clean and revamp my space

Learn from my resources and the internet

Connect with my household

Get back into Yoga and meditation routinely and freely as needed

Cook some new meals

Journaling and self-reflection to connect with myself and my thoughts properly again

 

Good luck, stay safe.

It is better for everyone that we all practice social distancing. That we don’t go out as freely as we used to; only for the necessities. Help others where you can (and where appropriate).

Distance yourself from the elderly (your loved ones will miss you but their health comes first). And just be kind and don’t allow panic to push you over the edge. Don’t get distracted or drawn into the news and social media and the spreading of false information. Stay informed from appropriate sources.

 

Take care,

 

Sincerely,

S. xx

Careful What You Identify With (podcast)

I’ve been thinking about how I see myself and the negative things that I have been identifying with. We all create our own reality with the narrative we tell ourselves. So, be careful with what you are identifying with (consciously or not)…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/careful-what-you-identify-with.mp3

xx

Self-Isolation (poem)

Somehow Spring has raised its glorious head,
and yet the world must watch
through dirty glass.
Trapped – a barrier between us
and the new green world outside.
I weep.

A grand plague has reached its
skeletal black hand to our throats.
A virus born from nothing –
We were not prepared.
We are not prepared.
Selfish sisters and brutish brothers
take to the shelves and steal
for storage. What’s left?
It’s not the virus I fear.
It’s the loss of humanity,
unity, community.
I weep.

But if I look outside
at the deserted streets
I see uncharted lands so sweet
that they hold Aphrodite’s kiss;
A love story comes with our Spring’s
blessed magic. A fresh start
for us that survive? A new beginning
for those that God deems worthy?
Is Judgement Day here, or is it just
another day on this uncertain Earth?

For now, I’ll weep
and let my tears water the world
as it brings Spring to us – in wait –
until we can go outside again.

How to Live By Your Values

I’ve been sort of out of balance with something I strongly believe in lately: conscious spending. With making my own money again and I think with this new job coming up, I spent wildly. Disclaimer, and in all fairness to myself, I didn’t completely go spending blind! I did still ask myself if I really needed something, but where 6 months ago I wouldn’t have spent, now I have been.

I’ve been out of balance with my own rules and I should be practicing what I preach to others.

A friend of mine called me out on this. She had just found my blog for the first time and read one of my own posts to me and I didn’t even reconise my own words! And worse, I’d not been following my own advice about awareness.

*Tut tut!*

Alas, this made me think about our values and beliefs and how we regularly need to be certain of them and aware of them to ensure we keep on track with who we are and who we want to be.

 

How to define what your values are

What makes you feel good?

What makes you feel the most you?

What is important to you?

What gives you energy versus what drains your energy?

Knowing these things creates the foundations of what your values might be. We tend to feel good when we’re doing things that are important to us or things that we are naturally good at and enjoy. These things are associated with our values, too.

As MuchelleB says in her video (linked below), we also should pay attention to when we don’t feel good; low points in our lives. These things highlight when we have been out of alignment with our values e.g. spending money on clothes made me feel shoddy because I don’t value reckless spending and I wasn’t spending money on something truly important to me; whereas spending on books does feel good.

It’s about paying attention to what you do and how it makes you feel.

 

You can take a values test or do a worksheet, like I did. Also, I took a strengths test and these results were in line with my values, too…

Mine, for those interested, are (no order):

Strengths:

Love of learning
Spirituality
Creativity
Perspective
Social Intelligence

Values:

Learning (including: growth, progress, achievement)
Experiences (travel, fun, bravery)
Contentment (peace and acceptance)
Wellbeing (joy, understanding, health)
Creation ( fun, bravery, learning)

You know you have the right list if you look at it and immediately feel good!

 

YouTube videos that could help you define your values:

MuchelleB

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She says to ask yourself, “who do you want to be?”, “how do you want to feel?” and “what do you stand for?”

MuchelleB (more recent, and worksheet included*)

 

Lavendaire

How to keep on top of your values

So, now that you know what your values are, how do you keep to them? How do you honour them? Well, I’ve been trying to do this myself so here are some of my ideas…

Honour yourself

Firstly, don’t see your values as something restricting. They are a part of you. They’re supposed to be important to you so by honouring your values, you’re honouring yourself (and vice versa). This means being true to who you are in many ways: in your decision making, your relationships, your thoughts, and in the use of your time.

Are you spending your time honouring yourself and your values?

I value learning, so am I actively learning in my time? If not, can I make time for it by prioritising and removing things that aren’t a part of my values?

 

Goals

Set goals that are in line with your values. I value creativity and one of my lifetime goals is to be a published author (writing children’s books, most likely). I value learning and one of my goals, as of now, is to complete my module this year for my university degree, as well as read more books.

Are you setting goals that make sense for you? Goals that involve a value or will result in one?

If your goals reflect your values, you’re going to put more effort into them and be happier within yourself.

 

Environment

Your environment should reflect your values, too. This could be in a very literal way, by printing off images that remind you of your values so that you can stick to them more easily. Or, you could simply ensure that when in places that are important and personal to you, that they reflect who you are and what you value.

Posters or collages or photos = creativity, social, adventure, fun

Notebooks, noteboard, whiteboard, planners = organisation, ambition, learning

Quotes, books, journal = wisdom, intuition, success

Yoga mat, exercise bike, activewear = health, wellbeing, activity

 

Social life

It can be really important to spend time with people who have the same or similar values to you, in order to keep on top of them. You are influenced by the people you’re surrounded by, so pay attention to whether the people in your life are encouraging or taking you away from your values.

 

Intentional living

Put your values at the forefront of all the decisions you make. As in, when it comes to buying something, doing something, changing something, going somewhere (etc.), ask yourself if that thing is in line with your core values.

I should have asked myself before my big clothing shop whether this was something that would bring my closer to what I value and who I want to be.

 

Active value-filled week

Make your values a part of your routine. This is key. It needs to be something you do regularly, at least a little.

For me:

Creativity – writing, my uni work, reading

Learning – uni work, reading

Spirituality – journaling, yoga, meditation

And so on…

Are you doing things that correlate with what you value most? No? Get to it!

 

Mission statement

Write up a mission statement or mantra to help you remember your values and how they fit into your life. When you feel off or out of alignment, read this again and again, and make changes where needed.

 

Take care!

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

Endings and Beginnings (podcast)

All things come to an end, but that ending also means a new beginning. We often focus on the negatives with endings and scary beginnings, but there is so much beauty in a fresh start and a prosperous new chapter.

With Spring on its way, new beginnings and rebirth are things we should embrace more than ever…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/endings-and-beginnings.mp3

xx

An Antidote for Negative Emotions

Firstly, all emotions are important, needed and valid. This post is not anti-negative emotions! We need them, as hard as that pill may be to swallow at times.

However, when it comes to emotions that we sit in for too long, or don’t understand, or can’t process properly, here are some ways to feel better or soothe negative emotions…

 

Jealousy

Get out your Comparison Cap just this once and remind yourself that you, too, have done incredible things with your life. If you’re feeling jealous, it means that you want to do or have what they have, and you feel less-than compared.

But, at least in my experience, we usually have a lot to be impressed about going on in our own lives, it’s just that we don’t see it. By bringing your focus and awareness back to your own life, you can begin to highlight your own greatness (it’s there, I promise).

Just because your best times aren’t happening right now, doesn’t mean they never did or never will.

 

Remind yourself of these things:

You have time to do all that you want to do
Looking over at other people’s lives does not a happy person make
If social media is crushing your spirit and making you jealous, get off!
You have done a great deal of amazing things; you have amazing things in your life

 

Gratitude can be a good antidote for jealousy. It brings attention to all that you have, rather than all that you feel you lack.

 

Sadness

First, find out if it’s a sadness that you need to feel for now and let be, or sadness that needs “fixing“. Sadness that has no important use or need can be fixed with pick-me-ups (or what have you). But sadness that needs to be felt can’t be controlled like that; it needs to be felt and understood, for now.

 

Sadness List/Box (for fixing)

Create a list of your favourite things to do or watch or consume and allow yourself a period of time (not all day or all week!) to indulge. It should pick you up a bit. Have this list in a place that you can find easily, so whenever you’re feeling low, you pick it up and know exactly what you could do to feel a little cheerier.

Mine:

Watch Harry Potter, Parks and Recreation, Community, Bojack, Brooklyn 99…
Eat pizza or hot dogs
Listen to a podcast
Nap
Yoga
Read
Write about it
Dance to my fav songs

 

Sadness tips (for feeling)

Watch a sad film. Or read a sad book. Connect with other people’s pain and allow yours to open up.

Talk to someone openly and honestly about it, not with the aim to fix the feeling, but to better understand it. What is it trying to communicate with you?

I often find that talking about it will probably make the sadness deeper and open like a wound. But after the right amount of time, it will feel better because it was given the breathing space, the open air, to heal (rather than being stifled or picked at).

 

Anger

In moments of anger, we need to step back. Withdraw from the situation if you can. Put distance between you and the stimuli. Breathe.

Anger enflames when let out. They say that you should let it out, but a book I read said that studies show anger only gets worse when it’s let out in bursts.

Filtered anger, expressed calmly with considered thought, is good. It’s healthy. It’s less damaging.

But first, you need to filter it.

Ask yourself why you’re even angry. The answer might surprise you, especially if you’re honest with yourself.

“I’m angry at my partner for not doing the dishes” soon becomes, “I’m angry that I feel like I have to do all the work and that he doesn’t respect me“…

Honesty is like water to the flame. It gets to the root of the issue, instead of an inferno born from a surface-level reaction.

Emotions are often signs of a deeper issue or trigger.

Find out what was really triggered inside of you, and then tend to the flame with careful hands…

(I try to journal about my feelings before confronting a person or situation head-on.)

 

Fear

Remind yourself of how wildly capable you are. Make the evidence of your brilliance easily accessible for times of fright and fear, so you can look over the list or images and remember, “I’m a badass mo’fo!”

I talk about this and many other techniques in the content from the Confidence Challenge I did in August. Check it out for more tips.

So, take a breath and remember all of your triumphs. All the times you were scared or unsure but persevered and succeeded regardless. No matter how “small” the achievement, write it down, memorise it, and refer to it when you’re in doubt.

 

Good luck!

 

Sincerely,

S. xx

 

Always Be Learning (podcast)

I am about to become a learner again (not a student, but a learner). I’m starting a new job, and so I will be in a stage of learning new things, new environments and from new people. And that’s okay! Being a beginner can be scary, but learning should be exciting and fun and never something that we stop doing.

Here’s why you should always be a learner…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/always-be-learning.mp3

xx

How to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do

That thing that you find hard – you know what it is – try to make it enjoyable! Try to make it seem as pleasurable and good for you as you can…

There are things we don’t want to do, like studying, exercising, visiting estranged family members, or the like. However, these are usually things we have to do in order to be successful, happy, healthy, or a generally good person.

As long as you have good reasons for the things you’re doing (or trying to do), you will need to find a tool that works in your favour. A tool that gets your excited (even a little!) to do that thing.

Here are some of my ideas to get you motivated to do things you don’t want to do…

 

If…then…

Similar to a rewards system, try out if/then sentences.

If I study for an hour, then I can watch TV for 30 minutes. If I cook healthier meals this week, then I can go out with my friends on the weekend. If I do this thing for my partner, then we can do something I wan to do next time.

It’s about getting yourself to feel like it’s something worth doing. Something that seems more favourable because it is tied to something you do want.

 

Mantra

One that I like, and don’t even think about much now, is one that reminds me of how good something is for me.

When eating a meal that isn’t heavily fried and processed, I say to myself “This is so good for me! My body loves this!” I focus on how it’s making my body cleaner and stronger. I really zoom in on how I feel afterwards. How I could jump and run after a meal because it was good for me, rather than feeling lethargic and heavy after a fatty, hearty meal.

The same goes for going for a jog or doing yoga or meditation. I think of a mantra (a saying of sorts) that hones in on how good this is for my body and my overall sense of wellness.

I like to feel like I can move my body and use my brain effectively, not feel restrained and cluttered and heavy. And so, I focus on how these healthy habits are making me feel the way I want (and need) to feel.

Therefore, isn’t it a winning scenario to just go ahead and do it?

 

Empathy

When it comes to things you do for others, it can help to motivate you by thinking about how it makes them feel. If my mom asks me to do something I don’t want to do, I automatically resist. But I’m trying to be more open-minded and compassionate. To think of things from her perspective. She needs help, hence she asked for it. I would hate to feel like no one was willing to help me, and so, it’s only right that I help her.

Or attending an event. Your friend or partner wants you to go but you don’t want to. As long as you’re not literally making yourself miserable for someone else (time and time again), why not think about how much it would mean to them? This will help you get dressed up, ready to go in order to make your partner feel good.

After all, shouldn’t we care about making those we love feel good? (and vice versa, of course!)

 

Long-term

And lastly, think about how great you’re going to feel once something is done. Whether it’s a long-term thing or a short-term one, think about the end destination. How great will it feel? How accomplished will you feel?

Let this be your motivation to take those steps towards that end result. Don’t focus too much on how far you have to go, of course. But do, every now and then, remind yourself of how brilliant it is going to feel with that sense of completion and triumph!

 

Give these mindsets and tools and try to get going on doing things you don’t really want to do. Good luck!

 

Sincerely,

 

S. xx

 

 

The Wisdom to Know the Difference (podcast)

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In today’s podcast, we’re talking about how to gain the wisdom to know the difference between what you should and shouldn’t do in life…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/the-wisdom-to-know-the-difference.mp3

*as mentioned in today’s episode, here’s a link to my self-help book You’re As Mad As I Am on Amazon!*

Take your own advice

Have you ever given a piece of advice to a friend or loved one and then thought, “damn, that was some good advice“? But think about it, do you actually practice what you preach?

The reason I bring this up is because I know we all could do with following our own advice sometimes. My blog isn’t special. The insights and advice I give isn’t groundbreaking or profound. We all think and say these things, the difference is, I capture my advice in words.

And you should, too.

As a writer, I, well, write a lot. I capture my thoughts and ideas and share them in blogs, books, thought pieces, poems and journal entries. This means that I can read over my thoughts again and again with ease. I implore non-writers to do this, too. To get into the habit of writing down ideas and thoughts and advice that you give to others.

Because who better to get advice from than yourself?

I find that reading things in my own words helps me a lot. You can’t argue against yourself! You can’t give excuses because, well, you’re the one who said it in the first place!

This is very powerful stuff.

I have a self-help book that I published a few years ago. I like to re-read it when I’m at low points in my life to help get myself back on my feet. Because it’s a collection of advice and experiences and ideas and practices for health and wellness, right from my own mind and life!

Again, who better to help me than me?

It’s worked before and I know it can work again.

So, why not try it for yourself? Need some advice? Look within and pay attention to what you say to others…

Take care.

Sincerely,

S. xx