Colleen Brown's Blog, page 151
July 8, 2014
July 7, 2014
"Do you remember how
your hands felt when you
tore my entire world apart?
Or the look in my eyes
when..."
your hands felt when you
tore my entire world apart?
Or the look in my eyes
when I begged you not to
go, to reconsider, to erase
all of the memories of when
my love tasted more like cruelty.
Do you remember watching
me walk through those
high school hallways after
I saw you with a younger,
more plump, more together
girl? I know you remember
because there was a moment
when our eyes connected
and all I could see inside
of yours was a lack of sympathy,
and hope that your new found
lover might be better than I
ever was. When you first met
me, I was just a girl. When you
first met her, she was just a
child. Do you remember taking
my innocence from me like
it was something you deserved?
Fooled me into believing
that the word love really meant
yes. Do you remember how
it felt tearing my entire world
apart with your bare hands?
Even if you don’t, I always
will, because I still have
the scars from your destruction
all over my body as if it was
a map of all the places
you have ever ruined.”
- "I’ll always remember, even if you don’t," - Colleen Brown
"You wanted this, you wanted me.
You wanted a messy woman who keeps
truth on the tip of her tired..."
You wanted a messy woman who keeps
truth on the tip of her tired tongue.
You wanted me, all of me.
You wanted a palette of skin that is
covered in self-inflected
and accidental scars.
You wanted this, you wanted me.
You knew what you were
getting yourself into before you
actually looked through me thoroughly.
You wanted this, you wanted me.
But I am not something that comes
with a money back guarantee,
and even if you don’t break me,
there is no return policy attached
to my heart. So this is what you
wanted. You wanted me. And I hope
that what you have finally gotten
was everything that you ever wished to have.”
- "You wanted me," - Colleen Brown
""I know you’ll probably never forgive me, but I’m still sorry."
- 3:38 a.m. (unanswered)
"Hey, this..."
"I know you’ll probably never forgive me, but I’m still sorry."
- 3:38 a.m. (unanswered)
"Hey, this is probably really random but I was thinking about you the other day because a song from Phoenix started playing on shuffle on my iPod, and I just wanted to tell you that I miss you."
- 12:15 p.m. (unanswered)
"You’re probably going to delete this before you read this but if you don’t, I just wanted to tell you that I still love you. And honestly, I don’t care if you don’t love me back because I have enough love in my heart for the both of us." (unread)
- 12:32 a.m.
"You can’t keep doing this to me."
- 4:45 p.m. (unanswered)
"Do you love me or not? Because your neglect is telling me that you don’t, but your poetry is telling me you do."
- 10:32 p.m. (unsent)
"I know that you fucked her when I wasn’t willing to see you. I can already imagine what you would do if I decided never to touch you again. I could probably smell you on every girl that passed me on the street."
- 11:13 p.m. (unanswered)
"I hope it felt good when she sucked you off. I hope it felt like love. I hope it felt like forever. I hope she was able to taste the disloyalty and the misguided truth when you finally finished."
- 2:32 a.m. (unread)
"I’ve loved you since the day I met you. And if that’s too much for you then I will understand if you never want to see me again."
- 7:47 a.m. (unanswered)
- "unread, unsent, unanswered text messages," - Colleen Brown
July 5, 2014
I let you go because
I wanted to see if you
would come back.
Because everyone has
told me too many...
I let you go because
I wanted to see if you
would come back.
Because everyone has
told me too many times
that if it’s meant to be
it will be and if you let it
go it will come back
to you if it’s supposed to
be made for you.
So I let you go, and you
haven’t come back,
and I don’t know why I am
still waiting on someone
to return who is obviously
better off without me.
They told us that it would not last.That what we had thought was goingto be forever would only be...
They told us that it would not last.
That what we had thought was going
to be forever would only be until
we met the eyes of someone else
who could give us what was said
that every woman needs. But we
don’t need what everyone else
wants, and we don’t need to listen
to the words of those who can
only see love in one kind of light.
I look at you and I am home.
I am safe inside of a haven that
we built with our own hands.
You are everything that I need,
that I want, and that I will always
crave, and no one else can tell us
what it is that we need to survive.
"I’m not sure if it was
the dim lighting from the
street lamp overhead or if it
was the way my eyes..."
the dim lighting from the
street lamp overhead or if it
was the way my eyes were
moving like a kalidiscope,
but he was a vision that I have
never seen before.
We were heading in opposite
directions, but our minds
were focused on the same
thing, except that thing
was something that couldn’t
be experienced in those
few and quickened moments.
And I’ve never felt
that amount of electricity
from just passing by a stranger
in a large crowd that seemed
as if it wouldn’t move an inch;
giving us a small time frame
to see an opportunity at love
pass us both by.”
- "Large crowds and love at first sight," - Colleen Brown
I received two very beautiful things in the mail today.
Shaking...
I received two very beautiful things in the mail today.
Shaking the Trees, by Azra Tabassum (5000letters)
Hurricane Mouth, by Amanda Oaks (Amanda-Oaks)
Both of these women are not only my favorite writers, but inspirations. I’ve known/grown to love Azra over the years, and I highly recommend checking out her blog / reading her poetry / buying her book / supporting her. I found Amanda’s blog through Azra’s and a few other writers on Tumblr, and I had the pleasure and privilege of meeting her in the basement of a book store in Cleveland one day in the almost finished winter days. Amanda’s words both spoken and written have so much beauty between it all. I highly recommend checking out her blog / reading her poetry / buying her book / checking out the other books on her publishing website, Words Dance. To have received both of these books at once was a very scary, exciting and amazing thing. I cannot wait to dive into these beautifully structured pieces of literature, and if you were me, you would feel this way as well.
Where to purchase Azra’s book
Where to purchase Amanda’s book
Where to view/purchase other books from Words Dance
She left without a word,and left without a signof lingering. She was thereand she was gone withouta...
She left without a word,
and left without a sign
of lingering. She was there
and she was gone without
a single trace of needing a last
goodbye. So that’s it. It’s done
and over with, so there is no
need of needing to remain in the
thought of what could have been.
July 4, 2014
watching the Craft and drinking wine as red as my lips. waiting...
watching the Craft and drinking wine as red as my lips. waiting to hit the town.
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