Colleen Brown's Blog, page 148
July 14, 2014
I know that you
are better without me,
happier without me,
more in tune with the
things that you...
I know that you
are better without me,
happier without me,
more in tune with the
things that you have
always wanted without
me. When I finally
let you go, I could see
the sudden spark
of inspiration in your
worn out eyes. You are
a better person without me,
even when you feel as if
you could be more complete
with me still tied around
your confused heart.
And when you lose her because you were the one who stopped searching for her in the first place,...
And when you lose her
because you were the one
who stopped searching for her
in the first place, don’t expect
her to one day follow the path
back to your arms.
She’s looking for something too.
So don’t be surprised
when she finds someone
who will never lose her
from their sight.
She has always been looking
for a place to call home,
and she has always wanted
the light in someones eyes
to help guide her there.
July 13, 2014
"I know women like you,
women who have been told
to keep their mouth shut
but their heart open.
Women..."
women who have been told
to keep their mouth shut
but their heart open.
Women who put their needs
in front of any man who claims
to be their everything. Women
who have told their story
so many times that they could
recite it in their sleep. Women
who blame their problems
on themselves instead of shifting
the blame on the worlds shoulders.
I know women like you, women
who belong to no one but
themselves. Women who don’t
smile when they are not happy,
and who won’t hesitate
to tell you that you are getting
on their last nerve. Women who
speak without being spoken to,
and who don’t give a fuck
if you’re a man to tell you that
if you move one more inch
past the line of inappropriateness,
they will bite your narrow minded
and insensitive head off.
I know women like you, women
who don’t have to think twice
when it comes to knowing
what they want and not caring
about who they have to destroy
in order to get it. I know
women like you, and it’s a privilege
to be able to know you at all.”
- "Women like you," - Colleen Brown
Remember me as the woman
who loved you with every inch
of her fragile body. Take those
memories of...
Remember me as the woman
who loved you with every inch
of her fragile body. Take those
memories of when we were
happy and replace them with
the times when you thought
that this would never be
enough to keep you coming
back. Remember me as the
woman who would have drained
herself of her own happiness
just to fill you up with something
other than loneliness. I hope
you remember me as the woman
who would have given you
light over any amount of darkness.
Because I know that I will
always remember you like this.
The man who taught me how to feel and to love again just broke my heart, completely out of the blue. All I want to do is return to being stone again. Do you know how to get through this?
Learn how to live with yourself. Learn how to love yourself before you try to love someone else or trust someone else loving you. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be fooled by pretty words from a pretty boys mouth just because you feel lonely. If you learn how to love yourself first, how to take care of yourself without needing a helping hand, no one will ever be able to break your heart.
"The first time someone breaks your heart, you will feel like it’s the end. Your hands may bruise..."
The second time someone tries to break your heart, you will be more prepared. It’s going to hurt, but you’ll remember that you survived, and that thought alone will help with some of the pain of trusting someone with your heart again.
The third time, when someone tries to break your heart, they won’t even be able to reach for it. You’ve been ready for this. Your heart has been blocked off by caution tape, and it has never again tied around it twice, so not even you can get to it.
And when you fall in love, for real this time, your heart will have already broken out of its own safety net. Before your mind can tell your heart that it’s okay to be vulnerable again, your heart will have already softened itself. Your heart knows all the tricks now. It will know the sincerity in someone’s voice and this time, it will not be fooled by the word love. So trust what your heart is telling you when it’s telling you that it’s going to be okay. Listen to the experience of its words and let it surrender. It needs your hands to set it free. Your heart has been damaged before, but hell, it will never let itself fall in the palms of someone who’s only intention is to be able to say that it was able to break the unbreakable.”
- "Your heart has learned all of the lessons," - Colleen Brown (via mostlyfiction)
July 12, 2014
"The first time someone breaks your heart, you will feel like it’s the end. Your hands may bruise..."
The second time someone tries to break your heart, you will be more prepared. It’s going to hurt, but you’ll remember that you survived, and that thought alone will help with some of the pain of trusting someone with your heart again.
The third time, when someone tries to break your heart, they won’t even be able to reach for it. You’ve been ready for this. Your heart has been blocked off by caution tape, and it has never again tied around it twice, so not even you can get to it.
And when you fall in love, for real this time, your heart will have already broken out of its own safety net. Before your mind can tell your heart that it’s okay to be vulnerable again, your heart will have already softened itself. Your heart knows all the tricks now. It will know the sincerity in someone’s voice and this time, it will not be fooled by the word love. So trust what your heart is telling you when it’s telling you that it’s going to be okay. Listen to the experience of its words and let it surrender. It needs your hands to set it free. Your heart has been damaged before, but hell, it will never let itself fall in the palms of someone who’s only intention is to be able to say that it was able to break the unbreakable.”
- "Your heart has learned all of the lessons," - Colleen Brown
Your presence is still lingering.
I’ve tried writing you out of my
head and my heart but all...
Your presence is still lingering.
I’ve tried writing you out of my
head and my heart but all that
seems to do is make your memory
more visible, more alive. You are
still here with me somehow.
I see you everywhere, I see you
in every new face that I try to
replace yours with. There is no
use in forcing myself to forget
about you. No amount of new
lovers and warming words will
ever be able to erase you.
Even when you were here, it was like you weren’t really here..
Even when you were here, it was like you weren’t really here..
Who is your favorite writer and why?
It’s between James Frey and Janet Fitch. I love how they are both able to capture the real and rawness of situations. They don’t hold back when it comes to writing out the gruesome details. I love James Frey because I think he is an amazing writer. Aside from the whole “he lied the entire time” thing, I still find his writing to be completely captivating and believable. I know that he lied, or fabricated the truth, but as writers, you teach yourself how to do that very thing! I still applaud him for being able to convince millions of people that his story was real, even if it wasn’t. To me though, I don’t think he could write in that sort of way “A Million Little Pieces / My Friend Leonard” if there wasn’t a little smudge of the truth hidden somewhere within his work. As for Janet Fitch, even the start of her books are already so interesting and gravitating. I think that she is a really gifted writer for being able to tell two sides of a story within one book and not making you run around in circles. Her books are the type of books that have you wanting more after you’re done reading. She makes you feel as if you are the character, or if you are a small piece of the character. She puts you inside of her characters heads and she gives you your own choice of determining if you are on their side or not. I really admire her way of writing and the way she is able to tell a story and make you feel every type of emotion that her characters are going through. I really love both of these writers for some many reasons, but I love their guts and how neither of them hold back.
And as for poetry, I would say it’s torn between Pablo Neruda and Warsan Shire. A classic poet and an upcoming, if not already is right there, poet. Pablo, as most would agree, is a classic. I cannot read any of his work without getting swept off my feet and being taken back to a time that I never lived through, but can feel as if I did. The way he speaks of love is truly inspiring. To me, he is a strong root when it comes to writing about love for me. The way he is able to compare nature to a person and a person to a map is truly, truly breathtaking and something that I cannot grasp without falling deeper in love with his words. Although most of his works are classic sounding, I still am able to see the purity within his heart, and sometimes the rawness. I just really love, admire, and appreciate him. And for Warsan Shire, I simply cannot get enough of her words and her work. I always knew I loved poetry, but I never knew how much it could change me and make me feel certain feelings that I never thought possible. Warsan Shire is literally able to take your mind to a place that you will never go, and never though that you could imagine. For the good and the bad. Her poetry is able to show her readers what goes on in her life, and the lives of women that are treated so poorly. She writes about her family (now I am not sure if most is true, just going off of what I know/read) and she shows you the different aspects of growing up in a strict and dominating household. For me, Warsan Shire is a perfect example of a strong woman who seems to be created for a leadership role in showing not only young girls, but people in general, the harshness that women are put through in other countries. Warsan Shire really has opened my mind up to real and raw things that have happened and are happening, and she is still able to make my heart soft from the love and passion within her meaning. When I talk of Warsan Shire, I feel all jumbled because I can say so much, but I never know how to phrase it. I just cannot wait for her new book to come out because I am going to devour it as quickly and as much as I devoured, Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth.
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