Dawn Metcalfe's Blog, page 14

Don't Justify If You Want Real Results

There are many annoying people out there. People who don’t listen, who interrupt, who say one thing to our face and another behind our back. These are people we don’t trust or like. They exist and, sometimes, they’re us.

And yet we need to work effectively with others – even when they’re not perfect or perfectly lovely. We need them to get the results we care about. Very few of us are lucky enough to be entirely self-sufficient.

A thing we hear a lot when talking HardTalk is people justifying their “bad behaviour” by referring to the behaviour of others. They say things like “well, my boss never listens” or “my colleague is lazy” and use these as reasons for not bringing up the subject they want addressed or for not using the HardTalk principles in the difficult conversations they do have.

I understand this. It makes sense that your history with other people – the experiences you’ve had with them in the past – will have an effect on how you (want to) treat them. But the point of difficult conversations is to improve the results we get. It’s not about being “right” or feeling good right now. Instead it’s about behaving in a manner that allows you to understand the other person and so influence their behaviour. And making sure that they can understand you, your issues and what you’re trying to achieve.

Justifying our “bad behaviour” (in HardTalk terms this means any behaviour that moves us away from getting the results we care about) based on the bad behaviour of others may feel good and give us a sense that justice has been done. But that’s in the short-term. In the long-term we don’t move anything forward. Our lives don’t get better. We don’t achieve what we really, really want.

Instead of spending our time justifying behaviour that we know isn’t helpful we need to focus on our longer-term objectives i.e. the Purpose we have in the HardTalk. For example, you may want to roll your eyes and sigh when your boss brings up an issue you’ve already thought about and dealt with or your colleague asks a question you are “sure” has an ulterior motive but, before you do, ask yourself if this is aligned to your real Purpose. If not then stop. And don’t justify your bad behaviour because of theirs.

 

If you’d like to learn more about mastering the art and science of difficult conversations or HardTalk you can do so here; by signing up for the newsletter or sending us an email. We’d also love to hear your thoughts on this and other topics on LinkedIn or Twitter .

Dawn Metcalfe is an executive coach, facilitator, trainer and leadership advisor. She is also the author of Managing the Matrix (published in both English and Arabic) and HardTalk. Dawn is the founder of Dubai based PDSi, which helps individuals and teams get even better at what they do, and has worked with business leaders around the world to change the way they see the world, their behaviour and their impact on others.

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Brutal Honesty Equals Business Success

Billionaire Investor Ray Dalio not only has decades of experience in the secrets to business success, but he also has the financial success to underline how worthwhile his opinions and lessons can be.  In this phenomenal and surprising Ted Talk, he shares his invaluable insights into how to build a company in which the best ideas win.  You will discover the value of radical transparency and the importance of believe-ability.  Trust us, this is one you don’t want to miss.

You can view the engaging video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXbsVbFAczg&feature=youtu.be 

The post Brutal Honesty Equals Business Success appeared first on HardTalk.

"Succeed with an Idea Meritocracy" Says Billionaire Ray Dali

Billionaire Investor Ray Dalio not only has decades of experience in the secrets to business success, but he also has the financial success to underline how worthwhile his opinions and lessons can be.  In this phenomenal and surprising Ted Talk, he shares his invaluable insights into how to build a company in which the best ideas win.  You will discover the value of radical transparency and the importance of believe-ability.  Trust us, this is one you don’t want to miss.

You can view the engaging video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXbsVbFAczg&feature=youtu.be 

The post "Succeed with an Idea Meritocracy" Says Billionaire Ray Dali appeared first on HardTalk.

Why Women Need to Speak up and the Cost of Not Doing so

From the Silence Breakers Time cover to the #TimesUp movement, global discourse has been more female centric in recent months than ever before. There seems to have been a much greater shift towards real change in gender dynamics and the empowerment of women has been given a real boost, whether as mothers, educators, politicians, entertainers, employees or leaders. But despite this, and the laudable trail blazers who have been breaking glass ceilings across the world for some time (e.g. Madeleine Albright, Mariam Al Mansouri, Malala, Ginni Rometty, Benazir Bhutto and Indra Nooyi), the voices of women in the workplace still aren’t heard enough.

That is costly for them and their organisations and both they and their organisations are to blame.

There are two key points to consider here. Firstly, women are worth listening to. Whilst Beyonce’s assertion that women run the world might not be an actual reality in business (less than 5% of Fortune 500 companies have female CEOs) their positive contributions are undeniable. An extensive 2016 study, funded by Ernst and Young, analysed 21,980 firms in 91 countries and determined that there is a “positive correlation between the proportion of women in corporate leadership and firm profitability.” It went on to say, “a move from no female leaders to 30% representation is associated with a 15% increase in the net revenue margin.”

Secondly, ignoring any voice is a grave mistake. We’re not saying everyone will always have something amazing to say, but the far greater risk lies in missing a potential spark of genius because your staff don’t feel comfortable speaking up. Google, in an effort to discover how to build the perfect team, conducted a study aptly named Project Aristotle. It found that “a group of superior individuals was less important than the collective ability of the team” and that the most successful teams were the ones in which every member “felt comfortable in taking risks and speaking their mind”.

Even former President Barack Obama recently spoke up about how crucial hearing women is, pointing out that if women are afraid to speak up or are talked over, a good boss should call on them and ask their opinion, according to him, “in today’s culture, if you are not deliberately doing that, you are going to fall behind and someone is going to beat you”. In his White House, female staffers had an amplification pact in meetings – when a women proposed a good idea, her female colleagues would repeat it so to ensure it was heard and not stolen.

So what can you do to be heard and what can you do as an organisation to listen?

The answer lies in self-awareness and self-confidence. You have to look at the reasons you don’t speak up and consider whether they are of your own making or whether you might need to have a HardTalk with someone. But, however you feel about speaking up, perhaps you might be nervous or are not very confident, remember that whilst you might not have the perfect answer every time, staying silent will almost always work against your best interests. As Madeline Albright says “the bottom line is, if you are only there not speaking, you have created the impression that you’re not prepared to be there.”

For organisations who know they need to improve, Anne-Marie Slaughter, a contributing Editor to the FT, had a few very useful tips:

• Give credit where credit is due

• Make sure everyone has a chance to speak – create a culture of participation for all of your meetings, make sure everyone is given an allotted opportunity to contribute and don’t conclude any meetings until that has been done.

• Listen as if you mean it – try to imagine you are listening to someone you greatly admire – it will immediately improve your body language and ensure others feel properly heard.

• Penalise interruptions – if someone is interrupting …step in and ask them to wait, or if you absolutely can’t, ensure you return to the (speaker) as soon as possible.

• Divvy up work chores fairly – when you are dividing up menial tasks, make sure you are being fair about who is assigned the work.

• Being self-aware enough to question your behaviour

The post Why Women Need to Speak up and the Cost of Not Doing so appeared first on HardTalk.

The Example You Set Is Cruical

A few of our recent blog posts have been related to this topic of crucial leadership behaviours and it is something we talk about a lot in the HardTalk programme; you cannot affect positive change as a leader if you aren’t willing to lead by example.  Too many misguided people in positions of power think that a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach will be sufficient, but that is rarely the case.  If you want to inspire people, encourage people and improve your company’s performance, then you need to be the person that makes the difference.  Apparently we aren’t the only people talking about this, Inc. recently shared a video of Dropbox CEO Drew Houston making that exact point with a very real-life example…….

You can view the short video here: https://twitter.com/Inc/status/968116182078324737

The post The Example You Set Is Cruical appeared first on HardTalk.

What The FBI Can Teach Us About Negotiating Better

Negotiating is a huge part of our professional lives.  In many ways, we can find ourselves doing it every day, even in small amounts.  Now, most likely, the negotiation situations you encounter won’t involve life or death outcomes, but they will be important to you or your organisation.  So we could all use a few tips on how to be more successful at negotiating, and who better to learn from than the people that HAVE to get it right – the FBI.

You can read the full article here: https://www.success.com/article/how-to-use-influence-tactics-like-an-fbi-agent

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How You Must Be The Change If You Want Results

Recently UK Business Minister Andrew Griffiths went on BBC Radio to bemoan the lack of companies taking up the Shared Parental Leave initiative; apparently those utilising the allowances could be less than 2%. He was appearing to promote their new campaign to encourage participation in the scheme, which was introduced in 2015 and allows parents to share up to 50 weeks of leave (37 of which are paid). Quite rightly, Mr Griffiths couldn’t recommend the programme more highly…..but only for other people. You see, he actually can’t use it himself.

In an omission that stunned the host Emma Barnett, he explained that “Ministers are not allowed to take shared parental leave” and that he would only be taking two weeks of paternity leave when his wife gave birth. Her incredulous reaction, and that of her listeners, is exactly how employees feel when Senior Leadership say something is part of the culture but behave in the exact opposite way.

Once upon a time, offices were run solely on hierarchy and managers could easily adopt a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach without fear of insubordination. That is no longer the case. Apart from the evolution in attitudes and workplace norms, it doesn’t even make good business sense. You need to develop, support and encourage your staff if you want to get the best out of them. Improving their satisfaction and creating an environment of candour and inclusion will not only benefit productivity and performance, it will improve your bottom line.

This is also why one of the first things we do in HardTalk is an organisational audit. We assess where the obstacles might be to adopting a new and improved culture. The fact is, that if Senior Leadership or managers don’t ‘buy in’ to changing the status quo for the better, it will make HardTalk that much harder.

In principle, this should be a no-brainer. Improved dialogue and communication amongst teams, especially diverse ones, can only be a good thing. Google even proved it. Their study into high-performing teams, aptly named Project Aristotle, concluded that the highest performing teams shared one particular trait – the ability for every member to both speak up and listen. But intention and action can often be far apart.

If you say you want people to speak up, they are only going to be able to if you have actually fostered a culture of vulnerability-based trust; this happens when employees feel able to hold others accountable, admit mistakes or ask for help without fear of retaliation or resentment. People need to know that they can speak up without fear, that managers or colleagues won’t roll their eyes, dismiss them or wave them away. To create lasting and effectual change you need to do as Ghandi suggested and “be the change you wish to see”. An ‘open-door’ policy or ‘no-idea-is-too-stupid’ meeting policy are only effective if you actually mean them and make people believe you.

Trust us, it’s worth it.

If you’d like to learn more about mastering the art and science of difficult conversations or HardTalk you can do so here; by signing up for the newsletter or sending us an email. We’d also love to hear your thoughts on this and other topics on LinkedIn or Twitter .

Dawn Metcalfe is an executive coach, facilitator, trainer and leadership advisor. She is also the author of Managing the Matrix (published in both English and Arabic) and HardTalk. Dawn is the founder of Dubai based PDSi, which helps individuals and teams get even better at what they do, and has worked with business leaders around the world to change the way they see the world, their behaviour and their impact on others.

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How Our Biases Affect Our Choices

One of the first things we talk about in HardTalk is learning to respond, not react.  A big part of that is considering how we frame our goals to impact our HardTalk partner.  Sometimes our natural biases can work against us and sometimes they can work in our favour.  This fantastic article delves into the psychology of choice and how we make particuarly decisions without even thinking.  This is particuarly helpful when ‘re-framing by anchoring’ (see Chapter 1 of the HardTalk Handbook – which you can download for free right now!)

You can read the full article here: https://www.cleverism.com/psychology-of-choice/

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Categories Inspiration

Perspiration

Tagsbrain drains
career development
careers
communication
criticism
crucial conversations
development
difficult conversations
employee performance
employee satisfaction
feedback
female entrepreneurs
google
hardtalk
leadership
ListenHard
loss aversion
management
management style
management techniques
managing up
professional behaviour
risk aversion
ROI
social skills
SpeakSoft
sysmex middle east
team building
testimonial
training & development
training programme
trump
video
women in business
WorkHard

The post How Our Biases Affect Our Choices appeared first on HardTalk.

'Shut Up and Listen' is the Skill You Haven't Been Using Enough

Wouldn’t life be much easier if everyone thought the same as us?  Unfortunately that isn’t the case and we can all too often find ourselves faced with opinions or situations we don’t agree with.  But, as you will no doubt relate, arguing back isn’t always the best course of action.  This illuminating artice on the Harvard Business Review lays out the reasons why shutting up is a much more productive idea, even in the most stubborn of circumstances.

You can read the full article here: https://hbr.org/2018/02/to-change-someones-mind-stop-talking-and-listen?utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social

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Categories Inspiration

Perspiration

Tagsbrain drains
career development
careers
communication
criticism
crucial conversations
development
difficult conversations
employee performance
employee satisfaction
feedback
female entrepreneurs
google
hardtalk
leadership
ListenHard
loss aversion
management
management style
management techniques
managing up
professional behaviour
risk aversion
ROI
social skills
SpeakSoft
sysmex middle east
team building
testimonial
training & development
training programme
trump
video
women in business
WorkHard

The post 'Shut Up and Listen' is the Skill You Haven't Been Using Enough appeared first on HardTalk.

How Did AT&T Predict The Future So Well?

Given most of us now consume our television shows via an on-demand service or at least have a record and fast-forward function, tv advertising is usually something we might avoid.  But it’s popularity and competition continue – you only have to look at the cost of advert spots during the Superbowl and the effort that goes into making those that can afford it.  So advertising endures.  Sometimes for a very long time and sometimes it comes back to remind us that some people have incredibly creative foresight – in this case from the team behind AT&T’s 1993 You Will campaign.  One that stunningly predicted the future so much that rewatching them now is more than a little spooky…..

You can read the full article on Inc. Arabia here: http://www.incarabia.com/build/how-a-1993-att-ad-campaign-predicted-the-future-with-stunning-accuracy/

 

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Categories Inspiration

Perspiration

Tagsbrain drains
career development
careers
communication
criticism
crucial conversations
development
difficult conversations
employee performance
employee satisfaction
feedback
female entrepreneurs
google
hardtalk
leadership
ListenHard
loss aversion
management
management style
management techniques
managing up
professional behaviour
risk aversion
ROI
social skills
SpeakSoft
sysmex middle east
team building
testimonial
training & development
training programme
trump
video
women in business
WorkHard

The post How Did AT&T Predict The Future So Well? appeared first on HardTalk.