Dawn Metcalfe's Blog, page 9

Guest blog: How to handle HardTalk when you’re an introvert

Listening is given lip service. From the time we are children, we’re told that listening is important – how else are we to gain the wisdom that adults have? Although we are never taught this essential skill, we are held accountable for it even at an early age. I can still see my father’s pointed finger shaking at me with that impending non-verbal warning, “Listen to me, or go to your room!” Author Sandra Collins states, “The role of listening is treated almost like a punishment… we spend most of our time listening while the more powerful, respected, or authoritative figure does all the talking.” Often this feels true in the workplace as well, where bosses give directions, proffer unsolicited feedback and command meetings.

This feels like a disadvantage to those of us who enjoy and choose to connect with others through listening, qualities that are frequently associated with being introverted. Jennifer Kahnweiler describes introverts as those who tend to stay to ourselves, are calm and reserved, and enjoy one-on-one conversations that are thoughtful, rather than superficial. These qualities make us a magnet for people (often extroverts) who are verbally expressive, and easily share themselves and their opinions. It can feel like the workplace favors those who more easily speak out and speak up when you prefer time alone or to think in silence. This is a problem because, as Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking reminds us, introverts comprise between 33% and 50% of the workplace. Despite our numbers, it has been easy to overlook us.

This will change as studies prove that these same qualities that often cause us seem invisible, can also help to make us good managers. Researchers Ames, Maissen and Brockner found that listening is positively related to influence as it allows one to gather information and build relationships. Sydney Finkelstein notes that employees are happier when they feel like they are being heard and contributing to generating solutions. Additionally, Itzchakov and Kluger’s findings “support existing evidence that managers who listen well are perceived as people leaders, generate more trust, instill higher job satisfaction, and increase their team’s creativity.”

Listening can be challenging under the best of circumstances because we hear 400 words per minute and speak on average 150 words per minute. It’s very easy for our minds to wander, causing us to lose focus. This is especially possible during difficult conversations or times of conflict. Preparing what to say in response, advocating for our own ideas, and defending our position replace listening when our emotions are inflamed. We are so concerned with getting our own points across that our mind is occupied thinking about when we can speak. Ironically, this is when listening is even more critical. We must counter our instincts to avoid conflict, slow down our mind and double-down on our valuable listening ability. So how can we become powerful listeners?

Preparation

set an intention to be fully present
ensure you have enough time to listen
adjust your body so that you’re in a comfortable position
make direct eye contact (if culturally appropriate)
eliminate/limit environment distractions such as shutting down your cell phone as well as physical distractions such as your hunger
write down any questions that you want to ask in advance
write down any points you would like to make in advance

Listen

be curious
notice when your attention wanders and bring it back to focus
be willing to suspend judgment and to even try on the other person’s perspective
be aware of confirmation bias (Isaacs, 1999)
maintain an open posture – lean forward, don’t cross your arms
do not interrupt
do not think about your rebuttal
do not offer solutions
when the speaker stops talking ask, “Is there anything else?”

When it is time for you to speak you will have taken the steps necessary to increase the likelihood that you will feel heard. You will have set a stage on which trust is built and, as Nancy Ancowitz, author of Self-Promotion for Introverts recommends, you will have prepared beforehand so that you can get ahead of any potential obstacles to communication. Because introverts like to process information before we reply, if you need time to think, Seppala and Stevenson suggest saying, “I haven’t thought about it that way before. Can you give me a day or so to think it over?” This will give you the desired time to reflect and evaluate. Alternatively, if you need a break, it’s okay to ask for one. Another option Kahnweiler suggests is “Walk and Talk,” saying, “Introverts tend to respond to the relaxed pace and walking beside people, rather than intensely interacting head-on, as can happen in heated discussions.”

If you’re ultimate goal is to hear and be heard that doesn’t mean you have to speak the loudest. Listening may be the quietest, yet most impactful, thing you can do.

 

Dr. Nancy Goldman combines her experience working in the entertainment industry with her doctoral studies in adult education to teach business leaders how to communicate with impact and influence. Dr. Goldman is faculty at both of her alma maters, Columbia University’s Teachers College and New York University. Her interests and background are at the intersection of arts, education and business. In addition to over a decade of experience working in television, Nancy has managed New York City’s top comedy clubs, hosts storytelling home concerts and has worked on Wall Street, in non-profit, and government. She has designed and delivered programs in leadership communication skills, applied strategic communication, creative thinking and career development for organizations such as MIT Sloan School of Management, Barnard College’s Athena Leadership Lab, Producers Guild of America, The Actors Fund and Sponsors for Educational Opportunity.

Nancy has a Doctorate in Education as well as a Master’s in Organizational Psychology and a Master’s in Communication and Computing Technology from Columbia University’s Teachers College. She lives in Queens, New York with her honey, bird and cat.

The post Guest blog: How to handle HardTalk when you’re an introvert appeared first on HardTalk.

Why AI isn’t the answer to removing bias (yet)

Our brains like patterns. And sometimes we rely on these patterns to direct our behaviour, meaning we often switch to ‘default’ mode. The problem with this approach is that it can lead to bias. When it comes to recruitment, biases can have a damaging impact on ensuring we build diverse and inclusive workforces – by now we are well aware that we need these things to succeed.

With the rise of AI, the conversation around algorithms removing ‘prejudice’ of hiring managers rolls on. Andrew McAfee, co-director of MIT’s Initiative on the Digital Economy and a principal research scientist at the university’s Sloan School of Management, recently said: “If you want the bias out, get the algorithms in.”

But is AI the answer? It seems not yet. This piece, full of lots of juicy expert opinion, explores the potential downfalls on relying on AI to eliminate workplace bias and what needs to happen to ensure absolute objectivity.

You can read the full article by Eric Rosenbaum on CNBC here: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/30/silicon-valley-is-stumped-even-a-i-cannot-remove-bias-from-hiring.html

 

The post Why AI isn’t the answer to removing bias (yet) appeared first on HardTalk.

Why AI isn't the answer to removing bias (yet)

Our brains like patterns. And sometimes we rely on these patterns to direct our behaviour, meaning we often switch to ‘default’ mode. The problem with this approach is that it can lead to bias. When it comes to recruitment, biases can have a damaging impact on ensuring we build diverse and inclusive workforces – by now we are well aware that we need these things to succeed.

With the rise of AI, the conversation around algorithms removing ‘prejudice’ of hiring managers rolls on. Andrew McAfee, co-director of MIT’s Initiative on the Digital Economy and a principal research scientist at the university’s Sloan School of Management, recently said: “If you want the bias out, get the algorithms in.”

But is AI the answer? It seems not yet. This piece, full of lots of juicy expert opinion, explores the potential downfalls on relying on AI to eliminate workplace bias and what needs to happen to ensure absolute objectivity.

You can read the full article by Eric Rosenbaum on CNBC here: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/30/silicon-valley-is-stumped-even-a-i-cannot-remove-bias-from-hiring.html

 

The post Why AI isn't the answer to removing bias (yet) appeared first on HardTalk.

Is AI the answer to removing bias? Not yet, it seems…

Our brains like patterns. And sometimes we rely on these patterns to direct our behaviour, meaning we often switch to ‘default’ mode. The problem with this approach is that it can lead to bias. When it comes to recruitment, biases can have a damaging impact on ensuring we build diverse and inclusive workforces – by now we are well aware that we need these things to succeed.

With the rise of AI, the conversation around algorithms removing ‘prejudice’ of hiring managers rolls on. Andrew McAfee, co-director of MIT’s Initiative on the Digital Economy and a principal research scientist at the university’s Sloan School of Management, recently said: “If you want the bias out, get the algorithms in.”

But is AI the answer? It seems not yet. This piece, full of lots of juicy expert opinion, explores the potential downfalls on relying on AI to eliminate workplace bias and what needs to happen to ensure absolute objectivity.

You can read the full article by Eric Rosenbaum on CNBC here: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/30/silicon-valley-is-stumped-even-a-i-cannot-remove-bias-from-hiring.html

 

The post Is AI the answer to removing bias? Not yet, it seems… appeared first on HardTalk.

Flip it to test it: Your brain likes patterns and it could be making you biased

“Most of us have heard about unconscious bias, maybe even had training at work. But I think deep down we all kind of think it’s ‘everybody else’ who is the problem.

“I had this pivotal moment when I was approached by two team members asking me to have a look at their compensation. It was a few days later that I connected that I’d had very different reactions to the same request, while I was, ironically, doing some research on unconscious bias. Suddenly, seeing the word “provider” being associated with men, it hit me. Wow…I have a bias here.

“Particularly shocking to me was: I’d always thought that you could only have a bias against someone who was different than you. So it really struck me to discover to realize we can have a bias against exactly what we are. I am a woman leader and provider, yet simultaneously, I have a bias against women leaders and don’t see them as providers. It was even more humbling when you factor in that I work in human resources so… it’s my job to be unbiased.”

In this piece, esteemed Forbes writer Kathy Caprino sits down with Kristen to discuss how bias impacts our decisions and how we can check ourselves to avoid it. You can read it in full here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/09/24/an-international-hr-leader-publicly-and-bravely-admits-her-bias-against-women-leaders/#3585958eaa37 

Kristen Pressner is a global HR exec at Roche, a TEDx speaker and champion of the #FlipItToTestIt movement – check her TEDx speech here and join the #FlipItToTestIt movement with Kristen on Twitter and Instagram.

The post Flip it to test it: Your brain likes patterns and it could be making you biased appeared first on HardTalk.

Are you biased? Flip it to test it with Kristen Pressner

“Most of us have heard about unconscious bias, maybe even had training at work. But I think deep down we all kind of think it’s ‘everybody else’ who is the problem.

“I had this pivotal moment when I was approached by two team members asking me to have a look at their compensation. It was a few days later that I connected that I’d had very different reactions to the same request, while I was, ironically, doing some research on unconscious bias. Suddenly, seeing the word “provider” being associated with men, it hit me. Wow…I have a bias here.

“Particularly shocking to me was: I’d always thought that you could only have a bias against someone who was different than you. So it really struck me to discover to realize we can have a bias against exactly what we are. I am a woman leader and provider, yet simultaneously, I have a bias against women leaders and don’t see them as providers. It was even more humbling when you factor in that I work in human resources so… it’s my job to be unbiased.”

In this piece, esteemed Forbes writer Kathy Caprino sits down with Kristen to discuss how bias impacts our decisions and how we can check ourselves to avoid it. You can read it in full here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/09/24/an-international-hr-leader-publicly-and-bravely-admits-her-bias-against-women-leaders/#3585958eaa37 

Kristen Pressner is a global HR exec at Roche, a TEDx speaker and champion of the #FlipItToTestIt movement – check her TEDx speech here and join the #FlipItToTestIt movement with Kristen on Twitter and Instagram.

The post Are you biased? Flip it to test it with Kristen Pressner appeared first on HardTalk.

Your ultimate purpose is to hear and be heard - but is Homer Simpson stopping you?

Imagine this: you get up in the morning, and you have a perfectly lovely breakfast with your favorite people/book/device, and on your way into work, you remember you have a team meeting. The first item on the agenda is how one of the projects you work on is behind a few weeks. You’ve worked well with everyone on the team before – what kind of purpose do you have? I’ve asked this question to thousands of people at this stage, and the vast majority will come up with something positive and healthy. They might say to “understand,” or “advise,” or “interpret,” or even “to console.”

I then pose this scenario: let’s imagine a guy has just found out, on the first day of the working week, from his assistant just 10 minutes before a progress update meeting is due to start, that his team has fallen behind on a project that’s close to his heart. He’s new at the company and is keen to make his mark. What kind of purpose might he have? Pretty much universally, the answers to this question are less positive, and include purposes such as “punish,” or “blame,” or “guilt,” or “save face,” or “to avoid recrimination.”

Returning to the first scenario, what if it hadn’t been such a great start to your day? Instead of a lovely breakfast with your favorite whatever, you woke up late, because you missed the alarm? What if one or more of the others on the team were irritating, or had thrown you under a bus last week? What if one of them insulted you before the meeting began? In front of your boss? What might your purpose have been in the team meeting? Would that really match the results you want? If you’re honest (and normal!), you’ll probably admit that your purpose in that scenario might not be one that you’d be quite as happy sharing with others. The chances are that in the meeting, in the moment, your purpose will have changed. It’s no longer the long-term, healthy purpose that gets us the long-term results we want, for ourselves, for others, for relationships. Instead it becomes a short-term purpose that, if we achieve it, will make us feel good for a few minutes – but does nothing to get us what we really care about.

The problem is that, in a HardTalk scenario, we often behave in a way almost guaranteed to achieve any purpose, other than the one we want…

If you want to find out how to achieve your purpose, read the full article – an excerpt from chapter 5 of The HardTalk Handbook – in Entrepreneur Middle East. You’ll also find out why Homer Simpson can be a troublemaker in a HardTalk scenario…

The post Your ultimate purpose is to hear and be heard - but is Homer Simpson stopping you? appeared first on HardTalk.

Think you know your purpose? You’re probably wrong.

Imagine this: you get up in the morning, and you have a perfectly lovely breakfast with your favorite people/book/device, and on your way into work, you remember you have a team meeting. The first item on the agenda is how one of the projects you work on is behind a few weeks. You’ve worked well with everyone on the team before – what kind of purpose do you have? I’ve asked this question to thousands of people at this stage, and the vast majority will come up with something positive and healthy. They might say to “understand,” or “advise,” or “interpret,” or even “to console.”

I then pose this scenario: let’s imagine a guy has just found out, on the first day of the working week, from his assistant just 10 minutes before a progress update meeting is due to start, that his team has fallen behind on a project that’s close to his heart. He’s new at the company and is keen to make his mark. What kind of purpose might he have? Pretty much universally, the answers to this question are less positive, and include purposes such as “punish,” or “blame,” or “guilt,” or “save face,” or “to avoid recrimination.”

Returning to the first scenario, what if it hadn’t been such a great start to your day? Instead of a lovely breakfast with your favorite whatever, you woke up late, because you missed the alarm? What if one or more of the others on the team were irritating, or had thrown you under a bus last week? What if one of them insulted you before the meeting began? In front of your boss? What might your purpose have been in the team meeting? Would that really match the results you want? If you’re honest (and normal!), you’ll probably admit that your purpose in that scenario might not be one that you’d be quite as happy sharing with others. The chances are that in the meeting, in the moment, your purpose will have changed. It’s no longer the long-term, healthy purpose that gets us the long-term results we want, for ourselves, for others, for relationships. Instead it becomes a short-term purpose that, if we achieve it, will make us feel good for a few minutes – but does nothing to get us what we really care about.

The problem is that, in a HardTalk scenario, we often behave in a way almost guaranteed to achieve any purpose, other than the one we want…

If you want to find out how to achieve your purpose, read the full article – an excerpt from chapter 5 of The HardTalk Handbook – in Entrepreneur Middle East. You’ll also find out why Homer Simpson can be a troublemaker in a HardTalk scenario…

The post Think you know your purpose? You’re probably wrong. appeared first on HardTalk.

Watch: Holding people accountable isn't cruel, it's kind

We need to understand that we have to hold people accountable. When things go wrong it’s all to easy to bemoan it. It wasn’t our fault and it’s very annoying, right? But if we don’t take people to task and hold them accountable – in the right way – then maybe we are as much to blame when things go wrong.

In this video Dawn Metcalfe talks to the Womena team on all things HardTalk, her day job and why sweating the small stuff really matters.

Watch the video in full here: https://womena.com/womedia-interview-dawn-metcalfe-founder-of-pdsi-and-author-of-the-hardtalk-handbook/

Womena is a platform dedicated to encouraging gender diversity and inclusion in the MENA region entrepreneurship ecosystem. Founded in 2014, Womena has spent years building an award-winning Angel Investment group that facilitated over 3 million AED in funding into 10 companies.

The post Watch: Holding people accountable isn't cruel, it's kind appeared first on HardTalk.

Watch: When things go wrong and it’s not our fault, it’s no excuse

We need to understand that we have to hold people accountable. When things go wrong it’s all to easy to bemoan it. It wasn’t our fault and it’s very annoying, right? But if we don’t take people to task and hold them accountable – in the right way – then maybe we are as much to blame when things go wrong.

In this video Dawn Metcalfe talks to the Womena team on all things HardTalk, her day job and why sweating the small stuff really matters.

Watch the video in full here: https://womena.com/womedia-interview-dawn-metcalfe-founder-of-pdsi-and-author-of-the-hardtalk-handbook/

Womena is a platform dedicated to encouraging gender diversity and inclusion in the MENA region entrepreneurship ecosystem. Founded in 2014, Womena has spent years building an award-winning Angel Investment group that facilitated over 3 million AED in funding into 10 companies.

The post Watch: When things go wrong and it’s not our fault, it’s no excuse appeared first on HardTalk.