Dawn Metcalfe's Blog, page 5
January 21, 2019
Leaders: It’s your job to address issues, not avoid them
It can feel lonely ‘at the top’ and as a leader, you undoubtedly face pressures from all angles. But after all, this is why you’re in a leadership position – it’s your job to mitigate, manage or help the team/organisation avoid issues so that it can prosper.
Except it’s not always that easy, is it? You are, after all, only human like the rest of us. When it falls on your shoulders to deliver bad news, or you need to make tough decisions about the future of the business, it’s natural to feel anxiety – no matter how senior you are. But what you can’t do is avoid issues or conflict. This piece in Inc. explores what happens when leaders turn a blind eye…
“Most people prefer to avoid conflict. There are a variety of reasons for this including the need to be liked, the pursuit for acceptance and the desire for stability in one’s life. Unfortunately, great leaders cannot lead effectively without addressing conflict as it arises within the workplace. In fact, if they choose to avoid conflict at all costs, they can put their organizations at great risk.
Here are six bad things that happen when leaders routinely avoid addressing conflict in the workplace:
Communications Become Strained: A conflict that goes unresolved will only fester and cause communication breakdowns to develop within the work unit.
Teamwork Diminishes: As communications become strained within a team, cooperation and teamwork will lessen and animosity will build.
Productivity Suffers: You just get more done when you work together. When teamwork goes south, so does productivity. Results suffer when the sense of togetherness is gone.
The “Customer Experience” is Compromised: Team dysfunction is felt by the customer every time! It emerges as poor quality and reduced service delivery.
The “Best and Brightest” Leave: A consequence of continuous conflict avoidance is the departure of your best people. Those that “can,” will move on to greener pastures when their current work environment becomes unbearable.
Brand Value Weakens: Over time, a firm’s brand value weakens, too. Consumers will find substitute providers that deliver higher quality products and services and better customer experiences.
What can you do to become better at addressing conflict? You can find out by reading the full article in Inc.: https://www.inc.com/james-kerr/6-bad-things-that-happen-when-leaders-avoid-conflict.html
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January 20, 2019
How to handle that colleague who avoids conflict at all costs
Conflict is not a dirty word. And yet, many of us still try and avoid it in the workplace. We’ll be coming back to this topic again and again this year, because guess what? We’re advocates of conflict – but the healthy kind. Without it we don’t see change, and we can all learn how to manage it better to channel it into something constructive. It doesn’t come easy to most of us but after all, we did call it HardTalk for a reason! But what happens when someone else’s avoidance of conflict is causing a roadblock at work?
“The fight-or-flight instinct: It’s an ancient biological survival mechanism that is automatically triggered by a perceived threat.
Steve Cohen coined the term “flighters” to describe people who view conflict as a threat to their survival and whose instinctive reaction is to run away. He is the president of Labor Management Advisory Group Inc. in Kansas City, Mo., and author of Mess Management: Lessons from a Corporate Hitman (Author House, 2010). He has devoted much of his career to mediating conflicts between fighters (who thrive on conflict) and flighters (who fear and eschew it.)
The hallmark of flighters, he says, is that, when conflicts arise, their first impulse is to acquiesce. Flighters may hide behind closed office doors, camp out in front of their computer screens or bury themselves in busywork to avoid conflict. Others clam up. These stone-faced flighters have mastered the art of the silent treatment.
Other flighters are complainers. They share their grievances openly with everyone—that is, everyone except the other party to the conflict.
Extroverts can be flighters, too. Eager for approval and fearful of angering or disappointing others, they refuse to stand up for themselves and may be too easily cowed.
According to Stuart Hearn, CEO of Clear Review, a London-based continuous performance management firm, there are three primary ways that conflict avoidance manifests itself in the workplace:
Ignoring the issue by denying it exists.
Sidestepping the issue by changing the subject.
Completely withdrawing from the situation.
Hearn sees conflict avoidance as a performance management issue that can make bad situations worse…”
You can read the full article by SHRM author Arlene S Hirsch here: https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/employee-relations/pages/working-with-people-who-avoid-conflict.aspx
The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) is the world’s largest HR professional society, representing 300,000 members in more than 165 countries. For nearly seven decades, the Society has been the leading provider of resources serving the needs of HR professionals and advancing the practice of human resource management. SHRM has more than 575 affiliated chapters within the United States and subsidiary offices in China, India and United Arab Emirates. The HardTalk Handbook is approved for SHRM Recertification Credit and readers will receive 3 PDCs – it’s available in the SHRMStore here.
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January 13, 2019
How to channel conflict into change
Conflict is not a dirty word. It may feel uncomfortable and it may not be enjoyable but it’s a necessary evil.
To read the full article click here
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December 20, 2018
When times are tough, don’t turn your back on training
Training sends a strong message to employees that a company believes in them.
To read the full article click here
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December 12, 2018
How to show and get respect, wherever and whoever you are
In every culture, in every place, respect is hugely important, but it can mean different things to different people. When working in one of the most multicultural places in the world, this can cause communication issues. The trick is in understanding what respect means where you are, and to the person you are communicating with.
To read the full article click here
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How to show and get respect, wherever and whoever you are
“In every culture, in every place, respect is hugely important, but it can mean different things to different people. When working in one of the most multicultural places in the world, this can cause communication issues. The trick is in understanding what respect means where you are, and to the person you are communicating with.
The meaning of a word is always two-fold. There is the denotative meaning—what the dictionary says a word means – and then there is the connotative meaning—what the people using the word mean by it. When trying to communicate, it’s the second one we’re interested in. Because it’s here where mistakes can creep in.
In essence, two things can go wrong—either they can misunderstand you or you can misunderstand them. In both cases it often comes down to a difference in filters…”
Dawn tells it like it is to Forbes Middle East – click the link to read on: https://forbesmiddleeast.com/how-to-show-and-get-respect-wherever-and-whoever-you-are
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December 11, 2018
Some wise words for the end of the year: When it’s time for a break, take one
As 2018 draws to a close, we all no doubt find ourselves in a reflective state. And looking inwards, perhaps it’s time to think about the type of HardTalk we may need to have with ourselves?
That’s right… it’s not always about tackling those tough talks with our colleagues or friends or loved ones. Sometimes we need to step back, be honest and think about our actions. It never hurts to take stock and ask ourselves: What is our long-term objective and how will our behaviour help or hinder us reaching it?
Aby Sam Thomas, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Middle East and friend of HardTalk, recently asked himself this and penned an honest piece on just why he’s considering taking a real break from work… it’s not an easy conversation to have [Editor’s note: we are big believers in taking a break from burnout at Team HardTalk]
“I’ve noticed that, of late, whenever I’ve told people that work’s been keeping me busy all the time, they almost always reply with a quip that goes along the lines of: “That’s good; it’s better to be busy than doing nothing!”
“While there’s been a lot of chatter around burnout in the startup ecosystem, I’ve come to realise that it’s one thing to know about these problems, and it’s another thing altogether to actually do something to prevent or solve such issues. I must admit here that I’m guilty of this personally – despite the number of articles and advice I’ve read and heard about keeping oneself away from burnout (which includes everything from the importance of delegation, to simply saying no to assignments that overload you), I’m sorry to say that I’ve been finding myself completely drained and exhausted, almost consistently, over what I think has been an awfully long period of time….”
Read Aby’s piece in Entrepreneur here: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/323938
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Guest blog: Why listening is the first step in effective communication
When we think about communication, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? It’s usually what we say, the message that we want to get across. Far too often, we focus on the delivery: what we will say, present and promote. All that’s important, but what about the other side? What about listening?
For there to be any type of effective communication, one party needs to be listening. And not just passively, waiting for the other side to stop talking, but actively listening and taking in the message.
As with every form of persuasive communication, there are a few key ways to improve your own listening and encourage active listening in your audience.
First, let’s state why listening is the initial step in communication? Because it helps us understand our audience and, thus, tailor our message to their needs and concerns. By listening well — through active listening — we can discover the best way to deliver the message we want our audience to hear.
As you seek to cultivate active listening, there are three important ways to engage with the other person:
Fully Engage: Put away your cell phone and shut down your email. Truly focus on what is happening in this conversation. Ask questions, and listen closely to the answers. Be a thoughtful listener.
Take Notes: For your listening to really pay off, you need to be able to remember what you’ve heard. A written log of a conversation is an invaluable resource as you move forward to analyse what you’ve learned.
Repeat Key Information: When the conversation is over, review what you’ve heard, whether by going over your notes, discussing the call with colleagues or writing up a synopsis memo.
Asking questions — and being open to the answer — is an important part of this process. Preparing a few questions in advance can be helpful; that way, you can really listen to the answers rather than thinking about what you should ask next.
In addition to allowing you to gather insights into your audience, the act of active listening demonstrates your respect for your audience. In our overcrowded, high-volume world, it is easy to forget that communication isn’t a one-way street. It’s not just about broadcasting our own opinions: It’s about exchanging ideas and learning. By listening well, you show your commitment to a respectful exchange. And your audience will be more likely to return that respect to you.
This article was written by Alex Malouf, a board member of IABC EMENA and experienced communications professional. You can learn more about the art of listening and having a frank dialogue at EMENAComm, IABC’s largest event for communications in the Gulf this February 11-12 in Bahrain. Join the HardTalk team on day one for Dawn’s keynote on how to create a stand up and speak out culture. For more information visit: www.emenacomm.com
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December 9, 2018
Making yourself heard, with Dawn Metcalfe
One incredible story where a woman had a bug living in her ear for months and was dismissed by her doctor as anxiety got a great discussion going on how to make yourself heard. Dawn Metcalfe, founder of PSDi and author of The HardTalk Handbook joins Sally to talk about why this happens and how to drive the conversation so that your needs and wants are met, whether it be in the doctor’s office or in the workplace.
To listen to the interview click here
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November 26, 2018
Join us in 2019 for HardTalk’s first public programme
Since we officially launched HardTalk earlier this year, we’ve had the pleasure of presenting to and meeting hundreds of you and the one question that comes up time and time again is: “How can we complete the training?”
While we’ve been delivering the programme to corporates, we’ve not yet launched a public programme and this is something we aim to change in 2019. We’ve listened and we know you’re ready for HardTalk. At this stage, if you’d like to learn more about participating in the training next year we ask that you register your interest by leaving your details here.
What does the training look like?
HardTalk is a fully blended, customisable, certified, modular programme designed to help individuals and teams have difficult conversations more effectively. It’s this format which helps ensure it’s “sticky” so that you get real attitude and behavioural change.
Despite caring about making good, implementable decisions that improve organisational growth, many people still don’t speak up – in fact, 70 percent of people when faced with conflict choose to ignore it. Through the programme, participants discover why we’d rather ‘put up’ instead of ‘turn up’ and how our natural instinct to ‘speak louder’ is far less important than ‘listening hard’.
What will participants learn? And how?
There are four modules in HardTalk, with five face-to-face events lasting four hours each. Before, in between and after the last event, there is an online platform where participants RRAP i.e.
Reflect on what they’ve learned and what it means for them and those they work with
Review the knowledge
Apply the knowledge and skills in real life
Prepare for the next event
Why is the HardTalk programme split over 5 events and 6 phases?
Based on the latest research, we understand how adults learn and how to change behaviour which is, after all, the ultimate aim of any training. One thing we know is that we don’t learn much in an event or, if we do, we forget and return to the norm or status quo very rapidly.
Instead we need to learn:
Little and often
With lots of opportunities to practice and get feedback
Over time with the chance to reflect and embed one thing before moving onto the next
And then ensure we apply this to the ‘real world’ to see what changes are needed
If this sounds like something you want to be involved in, then sign up here and we’ll be in touch in the coming months with more information.
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