Dawn Metcalfe's Blog, page 11

The Secret to Winning Internal Negotiations

When talking about negotiations and the ‘art of making a deal’, most people are thinking about their external negotiations, not their internal negotiations.  It can be easy to dismiss the negotiations we have with our colleagues, but they can be just as crucial to our performance and far more susceptible to unforced errors and mistakes.   In this fantastic article Horacio Falcão talks us through the four obstacles that are most commonly found with internal negotiations, why they can have such a toxic effect and how to avoid them all together.  Wise words that could transform your professional performance.

You read the full article at Entrepreneur.com here:  https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/308676

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Why Internal Negotiations are so Difficult

When talking about negotiations and the ‘art of making a deal’, most people are thinking about their external negotiations, not their internal negotiations.  It can be easy to dismiss the negotiations we have with our colleagues, but they can be just as crucial to our performance and far more susceptible to unforced errors and mistakes.   In this fantastic article Horacio Falcão talks us through the four obstacles that are most commonly found with internal negotiations, why they can have such a toxic effect and how to avoid them all together.  Wise words that could transform your professional performance.

You read the full article at Entrepreneur.com here:  https://www.entrepreneur.com/amphtml/308676

The post Why Internal Negotiations are so Difficult appeared first on HardTalk.

You Get What You Give: Lessons for Job Seekers

This is an open letter to the guy who wrote to me looking for a job this morning. I didn’t look at your CV, I didn’t respond and I will never try to help you. And that’s your fault. I want to help people. I go out of my way to do it. Even with strangers. But you? Nope. I’m determined to remain polite and respectful and I can’t do that if I waste my time on people who clearly don’t care about my time.

Look, I get it. You’re busy. Me too. I’m running a business and working with clients and procrastinating by doing yoga and swimming when I should be writing a book. Not to mention writing ranty articles on LinkedIn. We’ve all got stuff going on. So I’m sure that explains why you didn’t have the time to write me a personalised email when you asked me to consider your CV and thought it was ok to spam me and others.

Clearly you don’t have a job right now and yet you must be filling your time doing something useful because surely, otherwise, you’d find a few precious minutes to work out the name of the person to whom you are writing, unsolicited? You might even have been able to personalise your approach by, for example, talking about new things my company is up to or referencing an article I wrote? Or you might have realised that the role you are looking for is not one likely to be offered by a company like mine.

I am grateful at least that you took the trouble to BCC me and the other “undisclosed recipients” as in the past other “job seekers” didn’t and I was not thrilled to realise yet another way my data was unsafe.

Sadly I’m unable to help you in your job search. This is not simply because I don’t have any positions for an IT trainer (Project Manager/SEO expert/H&S executive – all emails I have received and responded to politely this week alone) but because I am not going to spend more time opening and reading your CV and responding to your email than you have done in writing your CV and spamming who knows how many people with it attached to a boring email!

If you want me to care about you then you have to show you care about me. It’s that simple. And if you don’t care that’s fine – but it will be reciprocated. And if you’ve spent even a minute complaining that employers/recruiters are rude then stop it now please!

Good luck to you and all those who are searching for a job – even those who don’t seem to deserve it sometimes!

PS I’m aware of the irony of wasting time complaining about somebody not showing respect for me by not showing respect for my time and so wasting even more time. However, in my defense, I am avoiding writing a book. 

 

If you’d like to learn more about mastering the art and science of difficult conversations or HardTalk you can do so here; by signing up for the newsletter or sending us an email. We’d also love to hear your thoughts on this and other topics on LinkedIn or Twitter .

Dawn Metcalfe is an executive coach, facilitator, trainer and leadership advisor. She is also the author of Managing the Matrix (published in both English and Arabic) and HardTalk. Dawn is the founder of Dubai based PDSi, which helps individuals and teams get even better at what they do, and has worked with business leaders around the world to change the way they see the world, their behaviour and their impact on others.

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A Motivated You Will Always be More Successful

This is an open letter to the guy who wrote to me looking for a job this morning. I didn’t look at your CV, I didn’t respond and I will never try to help you. And that’s your fault. I want to help people. I go out of my way to do it. Even with strangers. But you? Nope. I’m determined to remain polite and respectful and I can’t do that if I waste my time on people who clearly don’t care about my time.

Look, I get it. You’re busy. Me too. I’m running a business and working with clients and procrastinating by doing yoga and swimming when I should be writing a book. Not to mention writing ranty articles on LinkedIn. We’ve all got stuff going on. So I’m sure that explains why you didn’t have the time to write me a personalised email when you asked me to consider your CV and thought it was ok to spam me and others.

Clearly you don’t have a job right now and yet you must be filling your time doing something useful because surely, otherwise, you’d find a few precious minutes to work out the name of the person to whom you are writing, unsolicited? You might even have been able to personalise your approach by, for example, talking about new things my company is up to or referencing an article I wrote? Or you might have realised that the role you are looking for is not one likely to be offered by a company like mine.

I am grateful at least that you took the trouble to BCC me and the other “undisclosed recipients” as in the past other “job seekers” didn’t and I was not thrilled to realise yet another way my data was unsafe.

Sadly I’m unable to help you in your job search. This is not simply because I don’t have any positions for an IT trainer (Project Manager/SEO expert/H&S executive – all emails I have received and responded to politely this week alone) but because I am not going to spend more time opening and reading your CV and responding to your email than you have done in writing your CV and spamming who knows how many people with it attached to a boring email!

If you want me to care about you then you have to show you care about me. It’s that simple. And if you don’t care that’s fine – but it will be reciprocated. And if you’ve spent even a minute complaining that employers/recruiters are rude then stop it now please!

Good luck to you and all those who are searching for a job – even those who don’t seem to deserve it sometimes!

PS I’m aware of the irony of wasting time complaining about somebody not showing respect for me by not showing respect for my time and so wasting even more time. However, in my defense, I am avoiding writing a book. 

 

If you’d like to learn more about mastering the art and science of difficult conversations or HardTalk you can do so here; by signing up for the newsletter or sending us an email. We’d also love to hear your thoughts on this and other topics on LinkedIn or Twitter .

Dawn Metcalfe is an executive coach, facilitator, trainer and leadership advisor. She is also the author of Managing the Matrix (published in both English and Arabic) and HardTalk. Dawn is the founder of Dubai based PDSi, which helps individuals and teams get even better at what they do, and has worked with business leaders around the world to change the way they see the world, their behaviour and their impact on others.

The post A Motivated You Will Always be More Successful appeared first on HardTalk.

Guest Blog: Mindfulness, Motivation & Compassion

There is so much written about mindfulness in the workplace that you would be forgiven for thinking that it is a panacea for finding laser like focus, productivity, and wellbeing. Whilst mindfulness undoubtedly can assist with all the above, this is a very limited notion of what mindfulness is and how it can help us at work and in life.

Mindfulness is in fact a way of being, rather than doing, that enables us to cultivate a relationship with ourselves and with others in which new possibilities are created for communication, motivation and creating meaningful connection.

When the outside VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world can feel overwhelming and out of control, we can look inward and learn new skills to be able to show up in this world, not just surviving but thriving and being able to take advantage of all the incredible opportunities that exist. So, let’s explore 3 ways in which mindfulness helps us to do that.

Mindfulness enables us to strengthen our connection to others

A simple definition of mindfulness is ‘being present’. But the question is what are we being present for, and what is it that we want to be able to see, that perhaps we are not seeing when rushing from meeting to meeting on autopilot?  The Mindful Nation UK report defines mindfulness as ‘paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment, in the mind, the body and external environment, with an attitude of curiosity and kindness’. We start by building a foundation of self-awareness that allows us to get to know ourselves better, so we can observe our thoughts, feelings and emotions and be aware of how they are impacting our interactions during the day. When our mind is no longer jam-packed full of our own internal distractions we then have the headspace to be able to be fully present for others, to interact with others without being driven by assumptions, and habitual patterns of responding, but to see and respond to what is there. This liberating way of being can significantly strengthen our relationships with others making them more meaningful and giving us the motivation to connect in new ways.

Mindfulness creates alignment to our values and helps us envision our future

Mindfulness is a very powerful way of creating motivation in our lives. How often do you stop to ask yourself, what are my most important values and am I living my life is a way that aligns with them? We suggest taking the time to journal about what values are most important to you and to then explore whether your current way of living and working is getting in the way of you aligning to those values? Being clear on what’s most important helps to keep us on track when we encounter setbacks and when the winds of change sweep in as they so often do. Mindfulness creates the clarity we need to align to our values in our every day life and it can also help us to makes changes when we feel we aren’t living our best possible life. We can use mindfulness to help us make more conscious choices about where our life is heading, about how we are showing up in our lives and decide whether we need to ‘course correct’. This could be as simple as wanting to live with more alignment to your values, for instance, showing more compassion in your relationships. Or it could be that we feel we need to make a bigger shift and perhaps ask for the pay rise or the promotion we feel we deserve, or to apply for our dream job.

Mindfulness creates confidence, courage and compassionate leadership

Can you think of times you have avoided a conversation with a colleague or team member, or perhaps you have shut down during a conversation, or you have said yes when you meant no? Often what prevents us from having those tough conversations is that we enter a state of empathetic distress and worry endlessly about how the other person will feel in the conversation and worry just as much about our own distressing emotions that are likely to come up when having the tough conversation. Mindfulness gives us the ability to recognise this empathetic distress and to instead put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and to explore the situation to find out what is really going on, what emotions are involved and how we can help.

When we know ourselves better through a consistent mindfulness practice and developed the self-management skills to be able to handle ourselves in challenging situations, we start to gain a sense of confidence that enables us to move towards challenge and difficulty with a sense of courage. When our minds aren’t full of noise and distraction, and we have that inner confidence, we are also then more effectively able to move from ‘me to we’, to put ourselves in the shoes of others and ask ourselves, how can I best help this person who is in distress and what would be of most service here. This is compassionate leadership in action. Dr. Thupten Jinpa, one of the leading researchers at Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research sums this up beautifully when he states that “compassion makes courage” and goes on to say, “Having compassion for others frees us from fearing…it turns our attention outward, expanding our perspective, making our own problems…part of something bigger than us that we are all in together.”

This is the potential and opportunity of mindfulness.

This Guest Blog was written by Emma Carbery, Managing Director Mindfulness Dubai

Emma has been practising and teaching mindfulness for over 10 years, is a qualified mindfulness teacher and brings warmth, humour and compassion to those she works with and a deep understanding of what it feels like to experience anxiety, stress and overwhelm.  She has completed advanced Mindfulness teacher training with expert teacher Shamash Alidina, is certified by The Society for Holistic Therapists and Coaches (UK) to teach mindfulness and has studied Mindfulness with Janice Marturano of the Mindful Leadership Institute (USA), and the US based Mindful Schools organisation.  She is currently working with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, the organisation that was born at google to bring mindfulness based emotional intelligence to teams at google, (www.siyli.org) to be able to bring their program, Search Inside Yourself, to the UAE.  She is also a member of the Chartered Institute of Personal Development (CIPD) and also holds Masters’ degrees in Politics, Public policy and Human Resources.

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The Big Question – What is HardTalk?

Have you ever dreaded a difficult conversation that you weren’t sure how to handle? Did you then make a mess of the conversation, or decide it wasn’t worth having? That’s what Dawn Metcalfe’s book HardTalk is all about.

https://omny.fm/shows/talking-of-book...

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Five things you should know about non-Muslim wills

Making a will is often a sensitive topic that people avoid. Dawn Metcalfe, Dubai-based trainer and coach working with DIFC Wills Service Centre tells you how to move forward with his list of the top five reasons why people avoid making such big decisions — such as writing a will. Here’s how to stop procrastinating, be confident in the conversation and move forward.

https://gulfnews.com/business/propert...

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SUPPORTLOCAL: DAWN METCALFE

Dawn Metcalfe is an executive coach, facilitator, trainer, leadership advisor, and author of two books, Managing the Matrix and The HardTalk Handbook and talks to Equity to share insight into what she does, why she does it and where she came from.

SUPPORTLOCAL: DAWN METCALFE

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Dawn Metcalfe, Author of The HardTalk Handbook talks us through how to succeed in the work place.

Dawn Metcalfe, Author of The HardTalk Handbook talks us through how to succeed in the work place.

Dawn Metcalfe, 29.03.2018

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Get Better At Difficult Conversations By Aligning Your Behavior With What You Want

The problem is that, in a HardTalk scenario, we often behave in a way almost guaranteed to achieve any purpose, other than the one we want.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/...

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