Luna Carruthers's Blog, page 17

October 9, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 9: My Top 7 Recommendations for Notebooks

Hello all! I have compiled a fun, useful list for you guys today!


I have been looking for the “popular” notebooks that have been used to journal. There are so many notebooks out there and I am sure that I couldn’t possibly name every single one of them but I have come up with a list of some well suited ones for all you newbie journalers out there that may not know where to start.


First off,

I would like to say that you will probably be tempted to go out and buy a big fancy notebook because you see all the other kids with them. But you may want to try out journaling first with something that you already have on hand just to see if it is worth your investment. You can use any ole notebook for this! Really, ANY!


Trust me, journaling doesn’t require you to have specialty paper and a fountain pen. These things are lovely and having a good quality notebook is important if you plan to stick with it because you will want to preserve your memories but they are not necessary. So first, try it out to make sure you like it, then invest. Here are some amazing journal options!


Leuchetterm1917 - This comes in many wonderful colors. Has two page markers, numbered pages, and index and a pocket in the back. Also comes in dot, graph, lined and blank paper. Has both hard and soft-cover options.
Moleskine - There are many options for moleskine journals. Hard, soft and paper-covers, dot, graph, lined, and blank paper, pre-made planners and specialty designs including star wars, peanuts, Alice in wonderland and batman. The grid goes all the way to the edge, which is nice. It has a back pocket and one page marker. The specialty notebooks only have lined pages and I have only been able to find the dot-grid paper in a soft cover. You can find them at Barnes and Noble, Target (generally), The Moleskine website or the link above to Amazon.
Rhodia - A quite beautiful breed of black and orange notebooks that come in almost every option. Reporter, spiral, bound, soft, rigid, large, small, dot, graph, lined and blank. Great paper quality and available at Barnes and Noble and some art stores, or you can follow the above link to their website.
Piccadilly - Comes in grid (not dot), lined and blank paper and has hard, soft and paper cover options. It has a back pocket and one page marker. The notebooks are very similar to the Moleskine books and come at lower prices and the paper quality in the notebooks is wonderful!  You can find them at Barnes & Noble, the Piccadilly website or click the above link to Amazon.
Miguel Ruis - They are mostly flexible covers but I have seen a couple hard covered notebooks and spiral bound notebooks as well. Available in graph, lined or blank and a variety of colors. The most popular option I seen has been the 600 page flexible graph book. Which you can also find at Barnes and Noble or the above website.
Midori Traveler’s Notebook - There are so many options out there for these journals. Covers and notebooks alike. For inserts you can find the original one on the website (above link) then about a million options on Etsy or you can make your own inserts.
Handmade notebooks (from Etsy) - The wide variety and creativity of many of these options will leave you browsing for hours. You can pick and choose your paper type, covers, binding, colors and so much more with a handmade notebook that you can’t do with a manufactured one.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. There are thousands of choices for you to look through to find the journal that works for you and your situation. Don’t be afraid to pick a few of them, skip to a new one if the current one you are using isn’t making you feel excited about journaling and don’t worry about messing it up! It’s your journal, let it speak for you.


 


 

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
The Slave Journal
Ask lunaKM – Protocol-Driven Leather Lifestyle, Adding Another Submissive and Starting a Submissive Journal
Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com
How To Start Your Submissive Journal

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 09, 2016 07:00

October 8, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 8: Breaking In a Physical Journal

There’s nothing more scary and exciting to notebook lovers than cracking open a brand new bound notebook to break it in. I love a brand new journal because the pages are so crisp and the sensation of a brand new cover under my finger tips is lovely. I may have an addiction :) If you’ve chosen to journal in a physical notebook, you will be presented with a few tasks to set it up before you pour your thoughts and emotions into it. Let’s talk about breaking in a journal.


When you have a bound journal, one with a spine and is oven sewn together in some way, you have a stiff spine to deal with at first. Loosening it up without breaking it is the goal. There’s a very simple process to doing that and in the end you’ll get a notebook that will lay flat for you to write in and won’t fall apart as it ages. Ryder Carroll, the inventor of the Bullet Journal system for productivity has a brief video on how to break in a journal and it works for all bound notebooks of any size.



Spiral bound or glued notebooks don’t need the same treatment in order to last for years.


After you have your notebook broken in, you’ll want to decide if your pages should be numbered and whether an index is necessary. For my personal log journals I need numbered pages and an index so I create an index in the first 3 pages of the book and then with a fine point pen go through and write all the page numbers into the book. This way I can organize and sort my thoughts and important pages. My diary journal has a smaller index since it spans several years. I have just marked what pages cover what years. You may not need an index or numbered pages. Again, that’s completely your preference but it’s important to decide before you start writing.


Last, but not least, put your name and a way to contact you on the inside cover. That way if you happen to leave it somewhere, hopefully someone will be kind and return it to you.

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 2: What Would You Like to Learn?
How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?
How to Deal With the Question of Being Kinky and a Parent
Ask lunaKM – New to BDSM, where do I find Information?

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 08, 2016 07:00

October 7, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 7: Selecting a Physical Journal

We’ve talked about why journaling is important to you and to your current/future partners, so let’s get into the types of journals. This week we’ll talk about physical journals. Next week we’ll cover blogging and then the final week I plan on pulling it all together and answering your questions and responding to your suggestions.


Selecting a journal will depend on your writing style and what you’ve decided is the purpose of the journal. But there is no shortage of styles, if the selection at the bookstore is any indication! There are few things to think about before buying on impulse when you see that amazing Tardis notebook or that beautiful hand painted covered one. While I don’t want you to pick a notebook that you’ll not love writing in (and caressing and hugging… is that just me?) let’s consider what’s important to you.


Size


Notebooks come in a variety of sizes. There are large A4 size notebooks to personal size to even smaller pocket size. So how do you decide what you want? Think about where you will use it most. If you don’t plan to carry it with you then a larger notebook might be suitable. My notebook sits open on my desk all day so I can use the larger one if I want to but have found the A5 (5.5″ x 8.5″) is my preferred size.  If I carried it with my in my purse I’d probably want  a pocket size.


If you aren’t sure what size you’d want, shop for a cheap test notebook that you can write in to get a feel for journaling and the other preferences you might have. Once you have a size you like, you can get “the real thing”.


Hard or Soft cover


I have notebooks that are hardcover and others that are soft. My personal preference is hard cover if I plan on keeping the notebook in an archival state or depending on the topic. Yes, I have a lot of notebooks for different things and as an adult I realized that spiral notebooks really aren’t where I want to write. I want the pretty notebooks!


Soft cover notebooks can take a beating, bend into your purse and are great for someone who is a bit harder on their notebooks. Hard cover don’t do well in rough environments and the damage can lead to the pages falling out, the cover splitting and the corners peeling. But if you are more gentle with your books, a hard cover may be your preference. They look lovely on a shelf too if you like to display your journals.


Bound, Spiral or Binder


As I mentioned earlier, I used to write only in spiral bound notebooks, the kind you can get 10 for $1 at Back to School Sales. Then the spiral would get bent, the pages would wear and the paper quality was so bad that the pens I used ghosted and bled through. I always admired the journals at the book store but thought they were only used for art or diaries. Boy was I wrong. They are some of my favorite ways to note down anything that isn’t a shopping list.


So, when you go to pick out a notebook consider how you might use it and how long you are going to keep it. The most common long-term book is bound; either threaded and stitched pages or glue bound. I prefer stitched because the pages lay flat better and since my main journal sits open on my desk all day that’s a feature I like. I you think you might like to rearrange your pages and oraganize them after they are written then a binder or disc bound system could work better for you.  Look at all the options and pick one that you’ll love using.


Blank, Lined, Dot Grid or Graph


Now that we’ve looked at the outside of the book, let’s check out the writing surface. In my opinion, the most important part of a journal. While many have a color desired for their paper, I don’t. But what I am picky about is if there are lines or not. Lined journals are fine for standard diaries and note taking. But even then the space between the lines might be important to you.  Blank pages are fantastic for art and doodle journals. It could also be a good pick if you want to use your journal as a scrapbook.


Two more sophisticated options are graph paper and dot grid. Both of these lay the paper out in a grid pattern. One with just dots to help you form your own lines, boxes and shapes while the other is full on grid that can work for the same purposes. I lean toward dot grid if I can find it. It works for making lines of text, and I can’t write straight if there are no lines. But if I need to make a chart or a task list it does this job beautifully too. And better yet, when held at a reading distance the dots fade away so you are left with a clean looking page.


I have a couple graph notebooks that I use for charts and gaming notes. I love their flexibility in making tables for player stats and what not.


What’s important is you find a page that works for you and you enjoy writing on. Paper quality is important as the tooth of the page could cause your pen to drag and that fatigues your hand faster.  I like at least 70 g paper but higher weights are nice if you plan to use markers or fountain pens. I never buy a notebook that I can’t touch the paper inside. If the journal is wrapped and I’m really interested in it otherwise I will ask an employee to open it. I’ve only had one person say they couldn’t do that.


In the end, finding the right journal is the first step to making it a regular habit and one that you’ll enjoy for years to come. I’m sold on journals and use them for almost everything throughout my home, work and life. Tomorrow we’ll talk about breaking in your journal and preparing to put ink to paper for the first time. See you then.

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 6: Why New Submissives Should Write a Submissive Journal
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 5: What Your Dominant Learns from Your Journal
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 3: What is a Submissive Journal?

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 07, 2016 07:00

October 6, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 6: Why New Submissives Should Write a Submissive Journal

In the first few posts about submissive journals you’ve read about the kind of tool a journal is in a relationship, whether that be a new one or a long standing one, as well as how Dominants use your journal as a tool for communication and relationship building but what about when you are single, or brand new to submission? Can a journal help you too? And what would you put in it? Well, a journal isn’t just a diary. Its many things and everything all in one. Let me share with you a few ways that a journal can help you grow in learning and submission as a single submissive and as a new person to BDSM.


A journal is a repository of all sorts of information. You can store lists of favorite websites, contacts, your questions you want to research and so much more. When I first started out I had a 3-ring binder that I stored things in. Only just recently tossing it after going through and looking at all the things I found to be important to me at the time. Essays and blog posts specifically were nice because so many of the sites that I used to go to are no longer there. Even going to The Wayback Machine on Archive.org sometimes produced zero results. It’s sad when a valuable resource disappears, but if you have a journal you can save these things! I took a lot of notes from things I read and chats I had with others. I was concerned that my mind would be more of a sieve than I wanted it to be so everything needed to be recorded. You may feel that way too. Here are a few ideas for things to put in your single/novice journal:


Notes from articles and blog posts
Favorite links
Quotes you’ve encountered
Questions to ask someone or topics to research
Reading notes from books and other print media
Munch discussion notes
Your wants and needs for a relationship
Your BDSM checklist

Writing it down help slow your mind down and you retain more of the information. This is also a more permanent way to find your notes later. I don’t know about you, but far too often I’m finding that the notes I took in Evernote or a document in a folder get forgotten and lost. But my physical notebook that I use as a journal stays with me on my desk or in my bag everywhere I go and it’s easy to reference and add to when I need to.


You’ll also begin figuring out what exactly draws you to submission and how you want your relationship to look like. You’ll learn what you want to look for in a partner and what would be considered red flags for you. After all, this journal is to help you through your exploration of yourself so if you aren’t learning more about you in the process then it’s not working for you.


If you can collect a lot of information and opinions about topics you begin to see the good advice from the bad and the information that doesn’t suit your desired situation. Not everything you read is the truth or something you should follow for yourself. You are a novice and need and crave all the information you can get; but once you lay it all out in a journal spread you might realize what is good advice and what is a load of crap. Trust me, there is a lot of crap out there to weed through.


So once you don’t consider yourself a novice anymore you can just put aside your journal, right? Well, don’t do that just yet. I’ve had my journal (well a number of journals) for over 10 years. They are still very helpful, and while I didn’t hang on to the 3-ring binder full of old articles and documents, much of everything else that I’ve developed and learned over the years is still with me and still vital to knowing my needs and making sure I’m reaching my goals.


Not only that, but hanging on to a lot of the older information has been able to be shared with others, including you! My Simply Service archive of the newsletter that was produced for about 2 years starting in 2005 is maintained with the editor’s permission. But if you weren’t around to get it when it was being produced you’d not have it and that valuable resource would be gone. Old content does not always mean useless.


If you choose to start a journal as a single/novice submissive, realize that it will be a constant resource for as long as you maintain it and return to it. Months and years into the future it can still work for you and keep you headed on the right path with the right people and information available to you.

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 7: Selecting a Physical Journal
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 5: What Your Dominant Learns from Your Journal
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 06, 2016 07:00

October 5, 2016

Ask Submissive Guide: Getting Angry Over Punishment

Hello, I have a question. I’m having a hard time getting past just being angry when my Dom punishes me. Specifically corporal punishment. I understand what I do wrong but it is so hard to just lay there and take it as they say. I don’t want to start a conflict with Sir, I just don’t know what to-do to get into the correct mindset. I want to be a good sub and please Sir but I just get so angry when punished.


Hello dear reader!


Let me just say this is not uncommon at all. In fact, I’d venture to say nobody likes to be punished.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, a bundle of submissives like to get spanked. And paddled. And whipped. ((shiver)) There is an important distinction here though. Those things are sexy and fun and should be rewards for masochistic submissives that really enjoy processing pain.


But we don’t like being punished. Punishment is for when you make mistakes and mistakes are really hard to swallow. They are hard to own up to, they are hard to pay penance for, and sting. Quite often literally. For many people “corporal punishment” would not be an effective punishment because we enjoy these things. So let’s dig into some questions and suggestions to help you out.


You are getting angry at being punished. Why?? What is the root of this anger?


1. Is it because you are really disappointed in your own self for misbehaving? Was there a rule that you knew that was in place and you are pissed that you didn’t have the self-control to not follow it? If this is the issue, you know how to handle this sore-ness that has nothing to do with corporal punishment: try your very best to do better next time, or if it is a rule that isn’t acceptable to you or working anymore, have a calm and respectful discussion about it with your Dominant. Rules can change (and should over time as you evolve and adapt to living D/s in the world) but so long as you’ve agreed to live by that rule, you can’t really get too salty about being punished for breaking one. We all make mistakes. In our home we like to make “better mistakes tomorrow.” Pay you penance and move on with a fresh slate.


2. Are you getting angry about punishment because you’re being punished for something that you didn’t know you could be punished for? If so, that’s a justifiable reason and the change in this needs to come from the Dominant, not necessarily from you as a submissive. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to punish for a crime you didn’t know you were committing. It makes you gun-shy to try and do anything because you never know what will get you into trouble. I’d suggest clearly spelling out what is expected of you and what the punishments could be for breaking those rules. It can be a simple list drafted in a word document or an elaborate contract, but by having rules in place, both the Dominant and submissive are in the same place.


3. Are you angry just because? Maybe because there is somebody corporeally punishing you? Well that makes sense. Your body has a natural fight or flight response. Your body does want to react when somebody is paddling/spanking/caning you. A piece of you will want to run away and hide and a piece of you will bristle up, get mad, and want to fight back. It takes actual effort, control, and restraint to simply lay back and be punished. This is something that improves over time and experience, so long as the above two issues are properly addressed.


Remember: Not every dynamic has to be a punishment dynamic and not every punishment has to be corporal punishment. As my Master has matured in his Dominance and Sadistic tendencies, punishment is almost never physical anymore. It is always a mentally or emotionally driven lesson being taught; a means to re-train me and remind me in the future to make better mistakes tomorrow. The key is to understand your reaction to punishment and discern if it is a natural response that is making you uncomfortable, if it is an issue for you to address about your disappointment in failing yourself and your partner, or finally, a misstep in explaining expectations from your Dominant. Having this understand and adjusting your course accordingly should help lessen your discomfort over time.


Kind Regards,


Mrs. Darling


 

Related Posts:
Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy
How to Use the “30 Days” Memes Effectively to Maximize Submissive Growth
Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion
A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment
Carte Blanche – Repeating Misbehavior Patterns

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 05, 2016 10:00

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 5: What Your Dominant Learns from Your Journal

Writing a journal is often a personal choice, but within a D/s dynamic, it can often be a task given from the Dominant to help with communication and understanding the submissive. Often we can get so wrapped up in ourselves and we can forget that a journal is a powerful tool that the Dominant has. Now, I spend a good 2 years writing a journal and not sure what KnyghtMare could possibly learn from my babble about school stress, work, and chores but he reassured me that he gets plenty from reading my thoughts, even if they don’t seem like much to me. Dominants really do get a quite a bit of insight into your mind from your journal.


First and most importantly, they can come to understand your thoughts on a variety of things, from your relationships with other friends and family, how you feel about them from one day to the next and how you’ve come to understand your own submission. It really is all about interpersonal relationships and if they can see you’ve got patience for your annoying little sister who asks you for help every other weekend or your kindness to your best friend who is going through a difficult time, they are going to pick up your personality and learn about who you are.


And what about when you write of the new tasks you’ve been assigned or how you felt when he said something a certain why during the last play session? Your Dominant can learn a ton about how you processed new things in the relationship that come up and can then adjust as necessary. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about these things face to face and writing about them comes much easier. So use that as a tool to communicate without actually talking to them. It often breaks the ice and you can move forward from challenges and you can add more to your dynamic once you both understand what’s going on emotionally.


How many times have you wanted to share something you saw on someone else’s site or a picture that spoke to you or turned you on? Well, your journal can be a good place for those things. And when your Dominant reads these you’ve just offered ideas and fun things that can be added to your own relationship. Who knows? Perhaps these ideas were just simmering under the surface but now that you’ve shared them you can be more open about them.


I know I’ve used my journal to work out fear and anxiety I’m feeling that is hard to talk about. It’s great therapy. And I know that if I ask KnyghtMare not to talk about what I’m writing on a certain day then he knows that I”m using it just to vent and rant and explore my emotions.


This is just a glimpse into what your Dom learns from your journal. I encourage you to ask them what they learn from your journaling efforts so that you can engage in more of the same writing that is beneficial for you and helpful for him.


So readers, if you write a journal, what does your Dominant learn from it?

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 3: What is a Submissive Journal?
Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review
The Importance of Journaling Your Submission

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 05, 2016 07:00

October 4, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?

There once was a time when I believed that writing about my feelings was the only way I could honestly express what I felt in my heart. Throughout high school I wrote what I can only describe as teen angst poetry. Little did I know that I would learn more about myself in that writing than I would through interpersonal communication.


Now, I’m far wiser and can express my thoughts pretty well to those I love and care about. But even so, I still think writing is a fantastic personal tool that all people should consider. When deciding to start a journal or blog, if you keep in mind what you can get out of it, then perhaps you can enjoy it more and use it as a tool of your own development.


You may be asking me now, lunaKM, what the heck is the purpose of a journal in a submissive’s life? Aren’t we supposed to share everything with our Dominant partners? Isn’t a journal a secret thing? Well, yes you should be sharing everything you can with your partner, but how easy is that with everything that you encounter and learn? Many submissives need that outlet of a journal like a buffer -especially with the important things or the thoughts that aren’t as well thought out yet to be full conversations.


You will use the journal for yourself more than you will for anyone else, even if it was an assignment by your Dominant. As we yield more and more to our Dominants we may have to figure out who we are now, what our purpose is with this task or another and when we struggle, and that we will, it’s nice to have a place to go where we can talk about it without judgment or criticism.


It’s that unbiased mediator that can really perform miracles in our heads as we lay out the problem in words. How many times have you figured out the problem for yourself just by stepping away for a moment and thinking rationally? It works that way in a journal too.


Activity


Select a page near the front of your journal and write a list of reasons you should have a journal. Make them reminders of why you write, how they help you and what motivates you to express yourself. Even if journaling is a new thing to you, I am certain you can find things to add to this list.


Keeping it at the front of your journal will provide you with constant motivation and reminders of just how important a submissive journal is, and more importantly, how important your own words are for you and your development.

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
Single in the Scene Part V: The Truth about Singlehood
The Slave Journal
Ask lunaKM – Protocol-Driven Leather Lifestyle, Adding Another Submissive and Starting a Submissive Journal
How To Start Your Submissive Journal

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 04, 2016 07:00

October 3, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 3: What is a Submissive Journal?

When you are trying to understand something related to submission, BDSM or your relationship, a submissive journal is a great place to get it all sorted out. While it may not actually solve your problem or answer your question, the simple use of the journal is one of the best tools in your submissive arsenal. You are free to express exactly what you are thinking in a journal and the result of that thinking can move you further into your personal submission. The purpose of a submissive journal within the context of a D/s relationship is a part of open communication and reflection.


I know I talk a lot on this site about your personal submission, and in a way this site is like a submissive journal for myself (although I do far more work than I’d expect anyone else to do on a journal). I get to think about a variety of things related to BDSM and submission, read what other people think about it and then express my own views. Your own journal does not have to be public like mine is, definitely not. Although, sometimes it’s nice to get an outside viewpoint on your inner thoughts.


When considering whether a journal will benefit you or not, there are a few things to think about. First, is it a request from your partner. Oftentimes, a Dominant will ask a submissive to start and maintain a journal of their thoughts and to keep a record of what is going on in the relationship. My personal blog started out exactly like that. I wrote in it what I was thinking about that day, how I thought the current training and relationship development was going and also my personal journey in submission. My partner read it without judgement so that he could get an understanding of my frame of mind and of the things I was thinking but couldn’t yet express to him. It was, and still is, a great tool for the relationship.


It does not, however, replace open, direct communication. Do not use your journal as the only means of communication about sensitive, difficult or relationship changing things. The journal is a great place to get your thoughts together but make sure you are also talking to your Dominant about these things.


If you decide that you’d like to write in a journal there are two different mediums to consider.


The Physical Journal

This is the most common way to write and ponder your inner workings and mind. Diaries have been existed since the dawn of pen and paper and they will likely never go out of style. Often these are more private than what can be said of online journals.


I collect journals. The blank kind of course. I’m drawn to the pretty covers, delicate paper the idea of filling them with words, sketches and thoughts excites me. Although most of my physical journals are pretty blank, I can’t help but want more of them. I do have a black leather journal that is my private slave journal. This book is one that even KnyghtMare doesn’t see. It was his idea to have a book like that and I’ve used it a handful of times, maybe more, for my rants and utter abandon of decorum. I use it the most when I’m being punished and I want to express my angst over the punishment or frustration over the infraction. It’s like therapy and KnyghtMare has noticed a positive shift in mood when I use it than when I don’t.


Make your choice of physical journal a personal one. Pick out a book that you will enjoy using, that is comfortable to hold while writing in it and accommodates your style of writing. Do you want a bound book or a spiral? Should the spiral be at the top or the side? Do you want to use a special pen also? What about pages; lines or no lines? Would you like the traditional diary with dates and a lock and key? These are all decisions you have to make but will make your choice personal and special. And what you put in it will be better because you enjoyed selecting the book.


The Digital Journal

In the age of technology there are many methods to putting a journal up in digital format. You can use your computer’s text editor and store them on your computer. You can use email and send them to yourself, or your partner. Or you can use the many online blogging software choices to publish privately or publicly.


On your computer somewhere in a locked folder is probably safer for privacy concerns. Format is of little consequence, it works just like a physical journal but maybe easier to write if you are in front of your computer a lot. But if your computer dies, you lose your journal. Some people are okay with that; others are not. If you are not you could save it to cloud storage. There are a few free cloud storage options, or you can pay a small monthly fee to get a bit more space. We’ve had far too many computer hard disk failures for me so I keep anything important to me in the cloud.


Emailing the journal to yourself and keeping it archived in your email account is another option. If you are in a long distance or online-only relationship than the journal you write is usually emailed to your partner in whole or in part. It’s a part of that communication thing I keep talking about. Since face to face interaction rarely, if ever, happens in an LDR or online relationship the submissive journal becomes an important part of the growth of the relationship.


Lastly, the blog. A blog is an online journal that you can set to private or public. It uses a website that has software set up to store and display your posts in chronological order. If you hope to have an audience of people following your journey, then a public blog is the way to go. The most common sites to set up a blog are Blogger, WordPress and LiveJournal. There are probably hundreds of other places, but these are the three that I’ll be covering in a series about setting up a blog in the future. A caveat for hosted services like those mentioned is that you have to follow their Terms of Service for what you publish and how. Some sites don’t allow any adult content, others require you to put it behind an adult warning and still others won’t allow specific types of adult content. You need to find what works for your intended blog. If you are more tech-savvy, you can also set up your own software away from those hosted sites. That is how SubmissiveGuide and my personal blog are set up.


No matter what format your choose for your submissive journal, it won’t work if you don’t use it. How often and what you write in it will often be decided by events or rules from your Dominant, but they all have a central purpose; to focus your thoughts around your submission and your life. If you can’t do that on a regular basis you may have more issues submitting than those people who can put focus on their inner thoughts and develop their personal choices.


I’d like to challenge you to decide to start or write in your existing journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy and you don’t have to run out and buy a book or start a blog for this challenge. Just sit down with pen and paper, digital or not, and write about what you are thinking about. How could a journal help you focus your thoughts during your submission?

Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 5: What Your Dominant Learns from Your Journal
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?
The Slave Journal

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 03, 2016 07:00

October 2, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 2: What Would You Like to Learn?

After yesterday’s introduction I am really excited to share my thoughts with you on journaling and how it can help you (even if it’s never seen by anyone but you).  Before we get going tomorrow I wanted to find out from you what you’d like to see me talk about in the coming month. So, if you’d like to share please comment below. Questions below are optional but they will help me see what you really want to learn and explore.


Physical journals and blogging will be covered, so it’s wide open.


Is journaling something you do or want to do?
What hinders you from starting a journal?
Did you know that a journal doesn’t have to be a diary?
Are you thinking about starting a blog but don’t know how?
What are your concerns with blogging?
Anything else you’d like to share or ask about journals and blogging?
What do you want to learn?
Related Posts:
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction
Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review
Ask lunaKM Quickies: Where to Blog About Submission, Submissive Meditations and Opinion on Minors in BDSM
The Slave Journal
Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 02, 2016 07:00

October 1, 2016

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 1: Introduction

31days-journaling

Many people come to this site searching for ways to improve their submission, communicate with their Dominant and explore different aspects of the D/s and BDSM lifestyles.


Each day in October I will be writing a post focusing on journaling your submissive experience; from how to start, its purpose and how to use it for research, exploration, and a communication tool.


This series will help you focus on your submission by writing (or typing) your experiences.  We will be looking into physical journals and digital journaling, called blogging so whichever method you prefer you will pick up some tips and advice.  (You might want to find a notebook to journal your own thoughts during this series.)  I’m so excited about this series and I hope you are, too!


So this post is serving as the introductory post. It’ll function like a table of contents. I’ll link up the posts as they come along, and you can always hop back here to see the latest addition to the series.


31 Days of Submissive Journaling Series

Day 1: Introduction


Day 2: What Would You Like to Learn?


Day 3: What is a Submissive Journal?


Day 4: What can a journal do for my submissive development?


Day 5: What Your Dominant Learns from Your Journal


Day 6: Why New Submissives Should Write a Journal


Day 7: Selecting a Physical Journal


Day 8: Breaking in a Physical Journal


Day 9: My Top 7 Recommendations for Notebooks


Day 10: Ways to Personalize Your Physical Journal


Day 11: Top 3 Mistakes when Starting a Journal


Day 12: So You Want an Adult Online Journal (Blog)


Day 13: How to Decide on Public or Private Blogging


Day 14: Finding Your Voice by kallista


Day 15: Online Security and Anonymity, or Should You Share?


Day 16: Should You Try to Make Money with Your Blog?


Day 17: Key Items Every Blog Should Have


Day 18: Categories or Tags?


Day 19: Ways to Personalize Your Online Journal (Blog)


Day 20: 4 Ways to Find Topics for your Submissive Blog


Day 21: Your First Blog Post by kallista


Day 22: How to Manage Negative Comments Without Rage by tequilarose


Day 23: Journal Prompts: Using Them Effectively to Improve Your Life


Day 24: Scene Reports: How they can Empower Your Playtime by Mrs. Darling


Day 25: Book Notes: How to Select and Read With Purpose


Day 26: Gratitude: Happiness’ Best Kept Secret


Day 27: Brain Dump: Shaking Off Toxic Emotions


Day 28: Quotes: Inspiration Leads to Motivation


Day 29: Social Networking Best Practices


Day 30: What Have You Learned?


Day 31: Resources and Further Reading

Related Posts:
The Slave Journal
Book Review: Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook
The Importance of Journaling Your Submission
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 4: What Can a Journal Do for My Submissive Development?
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

Copyright 2008-2015 Submissive Guide. This Feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this material in your news aggregator, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact lunakm@submissiveguide.com so I can take legal action immediately.



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Published on October 01, 2016 07:00