Gary Roe's Blog, page 8

People Can Disappoint Us

People can disappoint us, especially when we’re grieving.

People we counted on disappeared. Others distanced themselves. Still others do and say things that trigger more pain and grief.

Most people are compassionate for a few weeks, but then everyone expects us to magically “return to normal.”

One big loss seems to lead to another, and another, and another.

To say that this can be depressing is a gross understatement.

So, what do we do with this?

A few days ago, I mentioned that expectations can sabotage a grieving heart. In that email, we talked about taking a good look at our self-expectations and evaluate just how realistic they are, given that our personal worlds have been smashed beyond recognition.

We said that unspoken, unevaluated expectations often lead to disappointment, frustration, and anger.

If this is true about our expectations of ourselves, might it also be true of our expectations of others?

See if you can relate to any of the following. Many of us who are grieving expect others (those around us) to…

Be understanding and know what kind of pain we’re experiencing.Remember that we’ve had a devastating loss when they see us.Know how to interact with someone who is in this much pain.Know what to say and do to comfort and support us.Talk about our loved one and share our grief.Understand somehow that we’re different people now.Grasp the magnitude of overwhelming change cascading down upon us.

It would be nice if these things were possible. The reality is that in many of our lives there are very few people who can do any of the above. Some of them are, frankly, humanly impossible.

This was our loss. Our loved one. Our special, one-of-a-kind relationship.

No one around us knows what we’re feeling. That’s impossible. No one in our personal circle can “understand” us completely. Many can sympathize. Some can empathize. But our feelings, and our pain, is our own.

That’s special. That’s also lonely.

Lonely? Yes. Alone? No.

There are many, many other souls on this grief road. Each of us is traversing through our own unfamiliar, uncharted territory. Thankfully, we can travel together.

For those unwilling or unable to meet us in our grief, however, expecting them to somehow get it and support us as we would like is probably unrealistic and highly unlikely.

So, take a deep breath. Give yourself a moment.

Try to identify the expectations you have of others at present. Be honest. Be specific.

Are these expectations being met? If not, are these expectations realistic (or even possible)?

Would we perhaps be better served by releasing others of the expectation of supporting us like we would like?

This is why support groups and friendships with fellow grievers can be so vital and important. Some fellow grievers really “get it.” Some are safe, supportive people who are not only willing but able to meet us where we are and walk with us a bit.

Do you have some of these people in your life?

All this relational upheaval is painful and disorienting. This is hard, hard, hard. Be kind to yourself. Find and connect with some safe, supportive people.

Watch out for those sneaky expectations. Be kind to yourself. You already have enough to deal with.

Thankfully, there is One who really understands. Check out the prophetic passage in Isaiah below.

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
– Isaiah 53:3-5

Question: Have people disappointed you? For your own sake, do you need to adjust your expectations of others? Feel free to comment and share.

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One Way to Sabotage a Grieving Heart

Many things can sabotage a grieving heart.

Today, I would like to mention just one of them.

Expectations.

We all have expectations. They tend to be unspoken. They fly under our radar. They’re sneaky. Often, we’re unaware they even exist.

We have expectations of ourselves. We have expectations of others. Others have expectations of us.

Expectations can sabotage a grieving heart and set us up for more disappointment, pain, and grief.

For now, let’s focus on the expectations we have of ourselves. One way we can be kind to ourselves that is to begin to unmask and evaluate our self-expectations.

Here are some of the self-expectations grieving hearts may have, without even being aware of it. See if you can relate.

We expect ourselves to…

“Get through” this time of grief with relatively little upset.“Conquer” grief somehow by doing the right things in the right way.Do what we did before our loss with the same amount of purpose and energy.Be “strong” for others around us.Function in life and relationships just like we did before.Know what to do even though our world has completely changed.“Hold it together” all the time, or at least when we’re in public.

You get the idea.

Breathe deeply for a moment.

Now ask yourself, “What expectations do I have of myself at present?” Try to identify them. Be specific.

Then ask yourself, “Are these expectations realistic for someone going through what I’m going through?” Think about who and what you’ve lost. Take stock of your life situation. Be honest with yourself.

If you want to go further, ask yourself, “What would I tell someone else going through this loss?”

It’s been said that expectations are an invitation to disappointment. We’re already exhausted and hurting badly. Unrealistic expectations only drag us down further and drain more energy from our nearly-empty tank.

Be kind to yourself. Unearth your self-expectations and take a good look at them.

Do you need to adjust your expectations of yourself?

What would that look like?

This is especially relevant because the holidays are coming. Holidays often come with a boatload of expectations. More on this later.

Thanks for reading today. Thank you for your support and encouragement as I seek to provide quality support and resources. I’m honored to be in this with you.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the spring from which all your life flows.” – Proverbs 4:23

Question: Do you sense you need to adjust some of your self-expectations? Feel free to comment and share.

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One Healthy, Proven Way to Work Through Grief

When loss strikes, our world is turned upside down. We’re shocked, stunned, and perhaps even paralyzed. Working through what happened is difficult, painful, and exhausting.

We all want to grieve well – to grieve in ways that are healthy and that honor our loved one. Thankfully, there is not one right way to do this. There are several excellent, healthy, and proven ways to work through intense and enduring grief.

One of those ways is writing.

Not surprisingly, one of the reasons writing is so effective is because it takes effort. Once you get started writing, in small steps of course, it gets easier over time.

Now before you say, “Not for me. I’m not a writer. Takes too much time and too much energy,” please read a little further.

You’re right. Not everyone is a writer or likes to write.

The good news is that you don’t have to be a writer to write. You don’t have to be a writer for writing to make a massive difference in your grief journey.

And you’re right again. Writing does take time and energy, perhaps more so than some other things.

Writing is an investment. If you knew that investment would pay big dividends in your heart and life, would you give it a try?

It just might be the best grief work you’ve done. It might help more than you can imagine.

If you’ve read this far, please keep going. Read to the end, and then see what you think.

Below are some thoughts on grief and writing from the first chapter of my new book, Grieving the Write Way for Siblings. Here we go…

MY PERSONAL HISTORY WITH WRITING AND GRIEF

I experienced multiple, traumatic losses in early childhood. By the time I was a teenager, I was slogging through each day carrying massive weights that I was unaware of.

Then I lost my dad. He dropped in front of me of a heart attack. He was a single dad and my one functional parent.

My grief burden was already massive. When this lightning bolt struck, I thought my life was over. I was stunned.

I managed to stay functional. I went to school. I stayed on the swim team. I kept connecting with my friends. Because of previous losses, however, I already felt different from my peers. Now, I felt like I lived alone in some alternate universe.

One day I picked up a pencil and started writing. A poem materialized. I wasn’t a poetry fan, but somehow it fit my mood that day. The next day, I wrote another poem. A few days later, I penned another.

Writing poetry opened an avenue for my heart to express its anguish. Sadness, confusion, anger, fear, anxiety, and guilt spewed out of me, one word at a time. I felt lousy but expressing myself felt relieving.

I continued writing poetry throughout high school. In college, I began to journal. When I was upset or frustrated, I found myself writing down what I was feeling and thinking.

Keeping a journal became a habit. Writing about what was happening inside became a part of my daily routine. I continue this today.

As a grief recovery author, grief specialist, and grief coach, I’m around death, loss, and heavy grief every day. I use writing to process and release the huge amount of pain that I hear and see. Writing becomes especially valuable to me when I experience another loss – and there have been many losses throughout the decades.

When my brother, my only sibling, died last year, writing again became key to my recovery and healing. Frankly, I don’t know what I would do without writing as a way of processing the pain, difficulties, and losses of life.

WRITING AND THE GRIEF PROCESS

Writing can play a massive part in the grief and healing process.

Writing steadies our hearts enough to express our emotions in a healthy and productive way.

Writing slows our spinning minds down enough to get our thoughts on paper and begin to process them.

Writing gives us a safe place to express and process spiritual questions, doubts, and fears.

Writing allows us to share our frustrations about our relationships in an honest and uncensored manner.

Writing enables us to consider and work through our thoughts, wonderings, and fears about the future.

Writing can be a tool which unveils hope. Hope is always here, but sometimes pain can blind us to it.

HOW THIS BOOK CAN HELP

This book is about you and the terrible loss you’re enduring.

This book is about helping you express your heart, mind, and soul.

This book can aid you in tackling (in a sane and healthy way) all the changes that have been thrust upon you.

This book can help you honor your sibling as you grieve.

This book can help you take the next steps in your grief process, whatever they might be.

********

There. What do you think? If you’ve never used writing to help in your grief, I heartily recommend you give it a try.

If you’ve lost a brother or sister, this new book was written for you. I’ll keep you posted on its release.

If you’re dealing with another type of loss, please check out the first book in this series, Grieving the Write Way Journal and Workbook.

I’m glad to be on this journey with you. None of us is alone. We travel together today.

Question: Have you used writing in your grief process? What’s been helpful for you? Feel free share and comment.

The post One Healthy, Proven Way to Work Through Grief first appeared on Gary Roe.

One Big Key to a Healthy Grief Process

There are several important components to a healthy grief process.

One big key is acceptance.

Grieving hearts need to be seen and heard. We long for and need the acceptance of others on this difficult and painful road.

Sadly, we often don’t feel accepted or supported by those around us.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t give ourselves this gift of acceptance either.

If you’re anything like me, you can be hard on yourself at times.

How about you? Do you tend to be hard on yourself?

Our natural is tendency, when we’re feeling something that’s unpleasant or difficult, is to do the old “fight, flight, or freeze” routine. The trouble is that feelings are meant to be felt. The only way “out” of them is “through” them.

So, we work on accepting ourselves as we are, in the moment.

“I’m anxious. I’m struggling right now. And that’s okay.“

“I’m afraid something else terrible is going to happen. I feel like a mess. And that’s okay.“

“I feel so sad today. I have good reason to be sad. And that’s okay.”

“I feel overwhelmed and so, so tired. And that’s okay.”

When we accept ourselves in the moment, it frees us up to feel these grief emotions. Once we acknowledge what’s happening inside us, it’s often like the pressure within gets released.

Here’s a question I’ve found helpful: “Does what I’m feeling / experiencing match what I’m going through (the loss I’ve experienced)?”

Most of the time, my answer to the above question is, “Yes, it certainly does.”

This process is hard. It’s painful. It’s difficult and extremely challenging. How could it not be?

When we accept ourselves as we are in the moment, we live more in the reality of the moment.

This is one more way we can be kind to ourselves in all this.

The next time a grief burst comes, or you feel an uncomfortable, heavy emotion, try telling yourself, “I’m feeling _____________. And that’s okay.”

Our well-practiced fight-flight-freeze combo often keeps us stuck and frustrated. We fare much better when we accept ourselves (as best we can) in the moment.

Be kind to yourself today. Give yourself grace. Accept yourself.

Be kind to other grieving hearts today. Can anyone you know benefit from this article? Send it to them.

I’m glad we’re in this together.

“Accept one another, just as God in Christ has accepted you.” – Romans 15:7

Question: Do you tend to be hard on yourself? What might help you accept yourself more in the moment? Feel free to comment.

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Four Reasons Why Being Kind to Yourself is Important

This week we had another Zoom Virtual Hangout. In our session, we talked about “How to Be Kind to Yourself While Grieving.”

“Be kind to yourself.” I say that a lot, but what exactly does that mean?

In our Zoom session, we began by pointing out four reasons why being kind to ourselves is important.

Because loss hits us on every level.

When someone we love dearly dies or departs, we’re stunned. The magnitude of the loss begins to impact every area of our lives.

Loss impacts us emotionally. Our hearts are crushed. Emotions spill out all over the place. Emotional overwhelm is common.

Loss impacts us mentally. We can’t think straight. Our ability to focus, concentrate, and make decisions gets squeezed. We can feel like we’re going crazy.

Loss impacts us physically. Our bodies feel the enormous amount of change that is occurring. We find ourselves dealing with new or exacerbated symptoms. We’re drained and exhausted. We discover that grief can indeed make us sick.

Loss impacts us spiritually. Our souls shake. Questions surface. We can find ourselves in a faith crisis. We can also experience a deepening of our faith.

Loss impacts our relationships. We’re changing, and so our relationships also change. We’re not who we were. Some people distance themselves or even disappear. We might feel misunderstood, rejected, or abandoned. One loss seems to lead to another.

Loss impacts our future. We look ahead and see gaps everywhere. Some of our expectations, plans, and dreams have been altered (or have evaporated completely). This adds up to more loss.

Being kind to ourselves is important because loss hits every part of our life and our being.

Because loss is painful and grief is incredibly draining.

To say that loss is painful is a gross understand. In fact, there are no words for the depth of the upheaval and pain we can experience.

Everything hurts. Our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our souls. We bump into memories with every step. Every day is packed full of grief triggers. Grief bursts seem to wait for us around every corner.

As grief exerts its influence on our system, we grow weary. We’re tired. Fatigued. Drained. Exhausted. We can hardly lift our heads.

We live in a daze. Putting one foot in front of the other takes Herculean effort.

Our tanks are empty. Being kind to ourselves amid all this is important.

Because the world is often not kind to grieving hearts.

People run from pain. We’re in pain, so they tend to run from us.

The world has tall expectations. It doesn’t respond well to grief. It expects us to keep it together and perform as usual. Be socially acceptable. Don’t stand out. We’re not allowed to hurt in public.

We turn inward. We begin to withdraw. We learn to nurse our wounds in private. We begin to fake it in order to survive.

Faking it requires so much energy. Holding our grief in creates terrible pressure within. We’re designed for relationship and connection. We need both now more than ever.

The world is often not kind to us. We must be kind to ourselves.

Because everything has changed for us but not for the rest of the world.

Our lives have been altered forever, but the world seems to blaze forward unchanged – as if nothing of significance has happened. This is frustrating, confusing, and angering for grieving hearts.

We live in two worlds now. We live in our own personal world of loss and change. We also live in the outside world where our loss is mostly ignored or minimized.

This too is exhausting. Nothing is the same. Everything seems surreal and strange.

The pressure on us is greater than we realize. Being kind to ourselves is now a priority.

In the book of Job in the Old Testament, Job said this about himself during a time of unbelievable, devastating loss:

My eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow. (Job 17:7)

In other words, we can feel like we’re slowly disappearing.

Can you relate? Does any of this resonate with you?

I hope you felt some relief as you read. You’re not weird. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. You’re grieving.

Breathe deeply.

How might you be a little more kind to yourself today?

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some specifics on how you can be kind to yourself while grieving. I think you’ll be encouraged. You’re more important than you realize.

Until next time…

The post Four Reasons Why Being Kind to Yourself is Important first appeared on Gary Roe.

5 Keys to Helping Others in Grief

I hope you are doing well today.

As many of you know, we had another free Zoom Virtual Hangout this week. Our topic was 5 Keys to Helping Others in Grief.

This session was so well received that I thought I would send everyone a quick summary of what we covered.

While we’re grieving, we can be of astounding benefit to other grieving hearts. To some degree, we “get it” and are able to empathize in ways others cannot or choose not to.

Supporting others who are hurting can be a massive part of our own healing and growth along this tough, painful road of loss.

5 Keys to Helping Others in Grief:

1. Love

We all need love. When we’re hurting and grieving, we need to feel loved more than ever.

Love, however, can be difficult to define. We looked at the four Greek words that the New Testament uses for love. We focused on one word in particular: agape.

Agape is all about actively and intentionally seeking the ultimate good of the other party even at great sacrifice to oneself.

If we want to support another grieving heart, we will focus on meeting them where they are and loving them there. We seek their ultimate good.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (Jesus, John 13:34)

2. Be present.

Be available. Show up. Let it be about them. As much as possible, be all there with them in that moment.

Watch out for technology (especially our phones) that distracts. The noise around us can keep us from being fully present.

Your presence is powerful. Your presence with them is a great gift.

When they saw him (Job) from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. (Job 2:12-13)

3. Listen.

We need to get more comfortable with silence. To benefit other grieving hearts, we must learn to be quiet.

We listen. Then we listen some more. And some more. As we listen, we try to hear past the words to the heart.

This means we need to release all personal agendas. Don’t try to make them feel better. Don’t try to move them anywhere.

Our only agenda is to enter their world and be with them there – and listen.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry… (James 1:19)

4. Be patient.

We need a long-haul mentality. This is hard in a high-tech age where we expect action and answers in milliseconds.

Love them by suffering and mourning with them. As we are present and listen well, other grieving hearts will begin to feel safe. This is huge.  Broken hearts need a sense of safety to heal and grow.

Be patient with yourself. This is not about “getting it right”. It’s not about solving a problem or accomplishing anything. It’s about loving them by being with them and listening well.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2)

5. Encourage them to share.

This fifth key calls for wisdom. We can encourage another grieving heart to share, but often this requires a level of relationship and trust. 

Don’t give answers. Don’t give advice. We have to go through the grief and the pain. So do they.

Most grieving hearts need to talk. They need to share.

“Tell me more.”

“How are you? I really want to know and I’m ready to listen.”

“What is this like for you?”

Get creative. Ask yourself what kinds of statements or questions would have encouraged you to share about your loss and grief.

Focus on the first four keys and add the fifth when you’re comfortable and feel led to do so. When in doubt, stick with the first four!

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)

Love. Be present. Listen. Be patient. Ask good questions.

Amazing things can happen when we accept people for who they are, where they are. Wonderful and healing things can happen in our lives when others do this for us.

How supported do you feel in your grief at present?

How might you better support someone else who is grieving?

We’re in this together. None of us are completely alone, though we might feel terribly lonely.

Be kind to yourself. Reach out and extend kindness to other grieving hearts. And don’t forget to breathe.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Want to be invited to our free Zoom sessions? Become an email subscriber by signing up for a free grief resource. Then you’ll get Zoom invites, helpful articles, and book news.

What do you think? Feel free to comment and share below.

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When Grief is Raw…

The loss of someone special shakes us.

Our hearts are broken, perhaps even shattered. We can feel undone and lost.

Grief can be raw at times.

When grief is raw, it’s hard to function – and impossible to function like we used to. We’re not living. We’re surviving. Perhaps we’re just existing.

When grief is raw the emotional pain can be overwhelming. We can barely lift our heads.

When grief is raw, we have trouble thinking straight – or even thinking at all.

When grief is raw, nothing makes sense.

When grief is raw, it’s as if we are now a mass of internal bruises. We want to withdraw and hide.

When grief is raw, we forget to eat, drink, and even breathe.

Perhaps we can relate to King David in Psalm 38:

I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning.

My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body.

I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart.

All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.

My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.

My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.

When grief is raw, our hearts need to vent. Our souls need to express themselves.

David ends his Psalm by looking up:

Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God.

Come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Savior.

(Psalm 38:21-22)

When grief is raw, we need help. We need comfort and perspective. We need hope. We need love.

When your grief is raw, be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Accept yourself in the moment, as best you can.

When your grief is raw, find ways to express what’s happening inside you – prayer, talking, writing, etc. Grief will be expressed, one way or another.

When your grief is raw, look up. You might not feel hopeful. God might feel a million miles away. But feelings are not always reality (thank goodness). He is closer than you know.

I am praying for you now…

Don’t forget to breathe.

Question: Can you relate to King David in Psalm 38? How so? Feel free to comment and share.

The post When Grief is Raw… first appeared on Gary Roe.

Anyone else feel confused sometimes?

I have a question for you.

Do you feel confused sometimes?

Confusion is often a part of grief.

When we think about it, that makes perfect sense. Our lives have been upended. Our hearts are broken. Our minds are spinning. Everything has changed.

We wake up each morning to a world that looks that same, but it’s not. Everything becomes weird and surreal.

That’s confusing.

When I feel confused, one helpful thing to remember is that the confusion is coming from the outside.

Huh?

If I feel confused, it’s because something confusing is happening.

This is important. Many of us are naturally hard on ourselves. If we feel confused, we think something is wrong with us.

The reality is that something terrible as happened, and we’re mourning deeply. We didn’t want this. We’ve been thrust into it. Our old life and old normal are gone.

That’s confusing.

We need to give ourselves a break. Feeling confused from time to time on this grief journey is natural and inevitable.

I’ll say it again. Feeling confused while grieving is extremely common.

So, when you feel confused, stop and take a deep breath. In fact, take several deep breaths. Remind yourself that you’re feeling confused because something confusing is happening outside you.

Your heart is grappling with living in a new world. This is not pleasant and far from easy. It’s a task of Herculean proportions.

Loss is confusing. The overall mental impact of grief is stunning. Adjustment, healing, recovery, and growth all take time. Lots of time. Be patient with yourself.

Thanks for reading. I’m honored to be with you in this.

Question: Have you felt confused on your grief journey? What about? Feel free to comment and share.

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A Gentle Warning for Grieving Hearts

Today I’m writing to give us all a gentle warning.

We’re vulnerable. We’re hurting. Perhaps we’re even crushed, shattered.

We’re not thinking straight. How could we? Grief is squeezing us.

All this leaves us open to being taken advantage of. Sadly, grieving hearts are often abused by others.

Not everyone is for us. Our world is jam packed with deceivers, scammers, and charlatans.

These evil perpetrators have well-developed radar for those who are vulnerable.  They can spot us without hardly any effort. They have trained themselves in the art of abuse.

Perhaps you have had run-ins with such deceiving liars.

Yes, I’m being blunt. I can’t cut these opportunistic abusers of vulnerable hearts any slack.

They’re out there. And we need to be on guard against them.

The good news is we don’t have to fear them. No need to be paranoid. But we do need to be aware.

How do we recognize these fakers?

Well, sometimes it’s obvious. All our alarm bells go off.

Other times, we get this subtle feeling that something is not right. That’s a feeling to pay attention to.

Some of these abusers are very skilled. They develop a connection with you, and all seems good for a while.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: When someone you don’t know (or barely know) wants something (anything) from you when you’re vulnerable and grieving, watch out.

Another good rule of thumb: Don’t make any big decisions for at least a year after your loss.

These big decisions can include money, getting into a new relationship, or anything that has life-altering potential.

This brings up the obvious question, “How do I make good decisions while I’m grieving?” That’s a huge subject. Here are three quick tips:

Don’t make any major, life-changing decisions immediately after a loss.If you must make a large decision, make sure you don’t make it alone. Consult some people you trust who have your best interests in mind.Check with someone you trust before making any decision that you’re unsure about.

And one more thing.

Just because it feels good doesn’t mean it’s a good choice.

When we’re grieving, life is not business as usual. We’re vulnerable. We need to be aware and guard our hearts.

Find safe people. Get around them. Develop those relationships. As we support each other, we can protect each other.

Thanks for reading. And thank you for your support as I seek to help grieving hearts heal, recover, and grow.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the spring from which everything else in your life flows.” (Solomon, Proverbs 4:23)

Question: Has someone tried to take advantage of you while you’re grieving? What advice would you have for others?

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Grief is like an ongoing storm.

Grief is a storm of sorts. An ongoing, relentless, and sometimes severe storm.

Loss creates upheaval and change. Our old normal is shattered. Our sense of safety and security can evaporate.

We’re sad, anxious, fearful, and angry. We sometimes feel guilty, frustrated, and out-of-control. We don’t know what’s coming next.

It’s like we were suddenly thrust into a violent maelstrom. Some of us didn’t even know this storm was brewing. It seemed to come out of nowhere with sudden and shocking force. Others of us had some warning. We knew this loss was coming. We might have even thought we were prepared for it.

There is no way we can completely prepare ourselves, however, for our loved one’s final breath. Whether sudden or expected, death comes in an instant.

This grief storm is exhausting.

Add to that the other storms of life. Wars and rumors of wars. Pandemics, disease, and natural disasters. Tensions and conflicts between people, groups, and nations. Financial upheaval, shortages, and economic challenges. Rising anger, division, and hatred.

In our Fear Not series, we released a video called Fear Not: Storms and More Storms. In this video, we take a look at how Jesus and His disciples handled a sudden, powerful storm.

You can watch Fear Not: Storms and More Storms (seven-and-a-half minutes) on Rumble and YouTube.

If you would like to help us reach other grieving hearts, please consider “rumbling” or “liking the video, sharing  it, commenting, or subscribing to my YouTube and Rumble channels.

Storms will come. We can’t control the storm, but we can choose how we’re going to respond to it – one step at a time.

The storms of life are draining and challenging. They can take their toll on us. We need to be kind to ourselves as we go through this.

I’m honored to with you in this storm. Thanks for reading.

Question: What is your grief storm like currently? What challenges are you facing?

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