Dave Barry's Blog, page 99

OH YES, THAT'S DEFINITELY WHAT WE LOOK FOR IN OUR HUMAN FOOD

���And that���s really where my job comes in, to create the human food to give you an experience that you can easily go, ���Oh yes, my cat would love this.������

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

THEN HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO WON?

Quebec Major Junior Hockey League Bans Fighting

(Thanks to Steve K)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA

This is some doorbell cam footage of a snake hanging from the porch door of a home and biting a man on the head when he tries to enter.

That's basically it. But it's a pretty great video.

(Thanks to John Lobert, who asks "Where was it supposed to bite him?")

AT LEAST IT WASN'T SQUIRRELS

A group of men in India made a shocking discovery when they found three crocodiles living underground in their neighborhood.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

SOMETIMES IT'S BEST TO NOT READ PAST THE HEADLINE

Supermarket shut down due to spider that can cause long, painful erections

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer and Al Barkafski)

CANADA CONTINUES ITS TERRIFYING DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO TOTAL ANARCHY

Canadian Museum of History is missing 800 items

(Thanks to The Perts)

AND IN TERRORISM

Squirrel causes massive power outage in Montgomery County

(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Man tapes 68 iPhones to his body in another foiled attempt at smuggling tech into China

(Thanks to EricY)

WELL HE WOULD KNOW

Aliens Will Reveal Themselves in 2027, Claims Former CIA Agent

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

JUST STOP, SCIENTISTS

What could possibly go wrong? Scientists cut open 200 MILLION-year-old parasite eggs found in fossilized FECES of ancient predator

Fun Fact: Poo fossils 'intrigued' villagers who repurposed poo 'as talismans,' scientist says

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

We saw the Poo Fossils open for the Foo Fighters.