Marlene Chism's Blog, page 7

Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 3 of 4)

The last two weeks in 2023 I talked about two specific ways senior leaders can create a culture of collaboration. The first one was to become aware of triggers, and the second way was to buy some time when you’d otherwise blow up or come off as defensive. Senior leaders have to model self-regulation to set the example of aligning with the cultural values. Today’s mini lesson is about how to manage your thoughts.

Take control of your narrative

It’s easy to act defensively when you’re experiencing uncertainty. A new poll conducted by Robin Pou firm found that 56% of leaders question their leadership on a monthly basis, and this insecurity contributes to leadership doubt.  The top reasons leaders don’t discuss their doubt is fear of losing credibility, fear of looking weak, and believing they must have all the answers. These beliefs become narratives that contribute to the behavior of defending one’s worth.

Here are some ways to take control of your narrative when experiencing doubt:

Am I working from feelings or from fact? It’s OK for me to seek coaching to improve.Who could I discuss this with to gain perspective?What am I supposed to learn from this experience?

The benefit of controlling your own narrative is that you can more easily self-regulate. An added benefit is the ability to coach your employees when you notice their self-defeating narrative.

To a prosperous New Year,
Marlene Chism

The post Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 3 of 4) appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 2 of 4)

Last week I talked about a specific way senior leaders can create a culture of collaboration by simply becoming aware of triggers.

Senior leaders have to model self-regulation to set the example of aligning with the cultural values. Today’s mini lesson is how to specifically manage yourself when you would otherwise be defensive.

Buy some time

When you feel misunderstood, it’s easy to go into defense mode. For example, when you’re on the receiving end of critical feedback that you didn’t expect it’s common to start debating instead of listening. For example, an executive director is given critical feedback about their management style. The next meeting instead of admitting the need for course-correction, they justify their past decisions by listing all of their past accomplishments. The desire to be understood overrides the ability to listen and apply critical feedback.  What’s really needed is the acknowledgement of what has been said, with a plan to correct the behavior.  Here are some ways to buy time when you’ve been caught off guard or feel misunderstood:

I admit that surprised me.I need time to process this before I respond.Let me think about how to apply this feedback.I’d like to reflect on this and meet again next week to discuss.

 

The benefit of buying time is to process unwanted and unexpected information so you can plan how to respond in a way that shows you are listening and working on improvement.

I’ll see you in 2024 where I’ll finish the series on how to create a more collaborative culture.

Happy Holidays,
Marlene Chism

The post Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 2 of 4) appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 1 of 4)

Most senior leaders say they want to create a more collaborative culture. After all, when there’s mismanaged conflict, avoided conversations, and siloed thinking, there’s always an impact on the business: Missed deadlines, disappointed customers, safety risks, and lowered productivity.

This is part 1 of how senior leaders can create a more collaborative culture.

Notice your triggers
A trigger is when a thought and emotion combine to create an unwanted experience such as being sarcastic or losing your temper. Everyone’s triggers (and reactions) are different. Common triggers can include a sound, a comment, a specific type of situation that feels like a threat.

For example, an employee makes a comment in a meeting and you blow up. At first you feel justified, only to have regrets later.

When you get triggered, your emotional brain hijacks your thinking brain. This almond shaped structure called the amygdala floods your body with hormones that stimulates a fight or flight response. You literally lose your rational mind. It can take 20 minutes or longer to come to your senses.

Here are some questions to get to the root of your trigger:

Who is the person?What is the situation?What is the trigger reaction?How do you wish to respond in the future?

The benefit of knowing your triggers is to see patterns, gain control and be able to respond instead of reacting.

Stay tuned where I’ll share the second tip on December 20th.

Happy Holidays,
Marlene Chism

The post Create a Collaborative Culture (Part 1 of 4) appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Tired of Babysitting?

Conflict-adverse leaders have narratives that keep them from addressing behavioral and performance problems. Listen closely, and you’ll hear the familiar, “I shouldn’t have to babysit my employees.”

If you’re hearing your managers use the “babysitting” phrase, here is a shift in perspective that I hope you can share with them/

The first step is in shifting the language. I encourage managers to stop using the term babysitting to describe the unfavorable parts of their job. Here’s why: The word “babysitting” is being overused and is too general. It doesn’t describe the real problem of what is happening or not happening in a given situation.

Babysitting is not about having difficult conversations, asking for updates, holding people accountable, correcting inappropriate behavior or talking about results.

Most managers don’t sign up for these things, but they are expected of leaders nonetheless as part of the job.

The less effective your direct reports are in conflict management, the more you’ll have to apply your own skills before developing them to become effective leaders.

If you don’t have the skills, hire a coach and start practicing.  If you leave results, behavior and performance to chance, you’ll suffer, your team will suffer and the organization will suffer — end of story.

If your middle-level leaders need to learn the skills of initiating difficult conversations so that you don’t have to keep doing their job, check out my course on Difficult Conversations on LinkedIn Global Learning Platform.

LINK

https://www.linkedin.com/learning/having-difficult-conversations-2018/diffi…

Or if you want on-site help, reach out. I can help!

Best,
Marlene Chism

The post Tired of Babysitting? appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Unfair! Micromanager!

Have you ever been labeled “unfair” or “micromanager?”

Don’t worry! It’s part of the price you pay to be called a leader.

When you fully step into your leadership role, you will get resistance. If people have been allowed to override policy, misbehave or do lackluster work, there will be pushback. You’ll be labeled as “unfair” and “micromanager,” if you try to right the ship.

The term “micromanager” is a loaded word intended to put you in your place.  Don’t take the bait by defending yourself or, worse, appeasing and people-pleasing to be liked.

So first, address the term “micromanager” and don’t hide from it. Ask your team what that means to them. Agree on a definition so that you can clean up any blind spots where you might be tempted to over-manage.

If you fully trust your team, and if they meet deadlines you’re less likely to keep checking in or “micromanaging.”

Clarity can change any situation, including the perception of being micromanaged or the fear of being called one.

Lead from mission, vision and values. The top and middle-level performers will eventually come around. You’ll let go of the ones that needed to go in the first place, and you’ll set yourself up to attract new talent that aligns with your mission.

To your alignment,
Marlene Chism

The post Unfair! Micromanager! appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Perpetual Reorganization?

You’ve undoubtedly seen this pattern: An executive decides to “reorganize” a department in order to put someone they don’t like in another department.

By “don’t like” I  don’t mean literally.  I mean, they don’t appreciate that person’s perspective. There’s a clash… an unresolved conflict. They see the other person’s work product as ineffective or inferior. They feel threatened when this person challenges their authority.

Whatever the issue, the end result is the same as if they just didn’t like that person!  Because if they did like this person they would give them a chance and they would have an honest conversation about what needs to change. They would deal with the discomfort that comes with speaking truth.

The bottom line is that the executive avoids a conversation and instead, puts that person under someone else’s care and direction so they don’t have to deal with their own inner conflict and grow personally.

Perpetual reorganization is very often a sign of avoidance.

What would happen if having an honest conversation was Plan A instead of moving all the chess pieces around?

If you missed it, last week I spoke about this on LinkedIn Live.

Here’s the recording.

https://www.linkedin.com/events/executivemindsets-behaviorsthat711826445648…

To your alignment,
Marlene Chism

The post Perpetual Reorganization? appeared first on Marlene Chism.

What Happens After the Retreat?

So often I get an inquiry about doing a retreat to fix high-level conflict among executives who have lost their alignment.

The hope is that in the scope of about four hours clarity will emerge.

But what happens after the retreat?

Old patterns repeat.

The truth is, a one-time event is only going to go so far, especially when trust has been breached, hard feelings have escalated, and clarity has taken a back seat to turf-protecting.

TRUTH BOMB: You can hire individual coaches, change the policy, restructure, or host retreats, but nothing happens until top executives get fully aligned.

AND…

Alignment is a process and not a one-time workshop or retreat.
The first step is to recognize the signs of misalignment.

Here is a link to my latest LIVE on LinkedIn Office Hours replay, Executive Mindsets & Behaviors That Negatively Affect Culture.

I reveal the executive mindsets and behaviors that undermine culture and what to do if you recognize any of these signs. Enjoy!

The post What Happens After the Retreat? appeared first on Marlene Chism.

The Role of Mismanagement in Retaining Talent

Attracting and retaining talent is one of the top issues facing organizations today. The cost of replacing an employee can be as high as 50-60% of their annual salary, when factors such as recruiting, training and lost productivity are considered.

At exit interviews employees often say their reason for leaving is better opportunity, or more pay. Understandably, employees don’t want to burn bridges. A primary reason good employees leave is due to poor leadership and conflict mismanagement. This post offers three examples of mismanaged conflict, the act of courage needed and what to know before initiating change.

1. The problem has been going on too long

If a problem has been going on for way too long, either you have allowed it, or you inherited the problem from a previous leader. After speaking at a conference, a leader approached me and said, “The reason I haven’t resolved a conflict in my department is that I inherited the problem.” “How long have you been leading this department?”  I asked. “Twelve years was her reply.”

The act of courage: Whether you inherited a problem, or you’ve let a problem go on too long you can still course-correct if you have the courage to address the problem, set a new boundary and follow through with accountability.

What to know:  You must understand the culture. Your new limits must be supported at the top. Once upper management agrees with your plan, initiate a group meeting to address the elephant in the room. View this as an opportunity to let go of blame and start a clean slate. Be crystal clear about the behaviors you expect in the future and what the consequences will be if the undesired behaviors continue.

2. Held hostage by skills and expertise

Time and again a toxic culture due to a high-conflict, high performance individual who makes life miserable for team members. Recently I spoke with a consultant hired to play a key role managing a project portfolio. The problem: One of the high performing directors refused to work with the consultant and wouldn’t accept a call to explore ways to work together. The consultant didn’t know what to do because she couldn’t get support from the senior VP who had hired her! His loyalty was to his high-conflict, high performer. This is an example of mismanaged conflict, avoidance and power struggles at high levels.

The act of courage:  No matter what your level of leadership, you must address the inappropriate toxic behavior. Rather than focusing on the star performer, focus on the compounding effect of an entitled employee and how lack of collaboration affects the business. This act of courage calls for the leader to stop ignoring the problem and make a courageous decision to support the bigger mission instead of being owned by one person.

What to know: As a leader you can’t afford to be the victim of a high-conflict worker even if they have a superior work product. You’re ripping off your team if you allow one person’s skills to hold you captive. If you’re a middle manager or a consultant caught in the middle with no senior level support, you must make some difficult decisions. Create a strategy to address the leader, no matter what your power position. If you can’t get results, play hard-ball and initiate a conversation with the next senior level leader.

What covers you here is that you honored the chain of command first. Make the business case for why you need support first by your own boss, and higher up the chain if necessary. (For example, losing a quarter of a million-dollar client would clearly be sufficient as would the cost of losing three key team members.)  In the end, be prepared to leave your job. You deserve more and your credibility is dependent upon your willingness to act courageously.

3. The need to be liked

Perhaps the greatest barrier to effective conflict management is the need to be liked. This inner drive shows up as over-explaining, sugar-coating, appeasing and delaying important information to make employees happy in the short term. Mid-level leaders often struggle because they feel caught in the middle between front line employees and senior level leaders.

The act of courage: Mid-level leaders must acquire the skills to initiate difficult conversations upward, laterally and downward to manage conflict effectively. This may require self-study or investing in private coaching if necessary. Beyond skill-building the act of courage is maintaining emotional regulation and letting people feel what they feel without jumping in to rescue feelings. 

What to know: Midlevel leaders must lead from a multifaceted perspective: advocating for their team while giving feedback to senior leaders about the effectiveness of their strategies. Midlevel leaders need to reframe their position as a bridge between front line employees and senior management, rather than “caught in the middle.”

Conflict is never the real problem. The real problem is mismanagement of conflict. Mismanagement compounds when blind spots prevent leaders from seeing the patterns that contribute to a toxic work environment leading to unwanted turnover.

Article originally published via SmartBrief.

What happens after the retreat?

So often I get an inquiry about doing a retreat to fix high-level conflict among executives who have lost their alignment.

The hope is that in the scope of about four hours clarity will emerge.

But what happens after the retreat?

Old patterns repeat.

The truth is, a one-time event is only going to go so far, especially when trust has been breached, hard feelings have escalated, and clarity has taken a back seat to turf-protecting.

TRUTH BOMB: You can hire individual coaches, change the policy, restructure, or host retreats, but nothing happens until top executives get fully aligned.

AND…

Alignment is a process and not a one-time workshop or retreat.
The first step is to recognize the signs of misalignment.

On November 14th at 10:00 Central join me LIVE  on LinkedIn Office Hours. I’ll reveal the executive mindsets and behaviors that undermine culture and what to do if you recognize any of these signs.

https://www.linkedin.com/events/executivemindsets-behaviorsthat711826445648…

To your alignment,
Marlene Chism

 

The post The Role of Mismanagement in Retaining Talent appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Signs that Indicate a Lack of Trust

Petty drama is always a sign that there’s a lack of trust.

On the surface, it almost always seems that the trust issues are between employees, but the root is almost always leadership misalignment.

For example, I was working with an executive that allowed a toxic employee to continue to work for her because she was afraid her decision to terminate would not be supported by her own boss. So rather than get the support she needed, she avoided a conversation with her own boss and let the toxicity continue.

Can you see here that there were at least two conversations being avoided?

Everyone knew what was going on, but no one had the courage to confront.

High-level leaders often assume that the leaders they hire to manage under them will have the skill sets to manage conflict.

Very often they don’t.

When leaders (at any level) avoid conflict hey create a ripple effect of interpersonal problems that affect productivity, well-being and organizational results.

If you need to rebuild trust in your organization, it starts at the top, with the executive team. What conversations have been put on the back burner for too long? Reach out. I can help.

To your alignment,
Marlene Chism

The post Signs that Indicate a Lack of Trust appeared first on Marlene Chism.

Misaligned Executive Team?

Conflict-adverse leaders have narratives that keep them from addressing behavioral and performance problems. Listen closely, and you’ll hear this checklist of commonly said phrases that indicate conversations are likely being avoided:

We’re all adults.They’ll just have to work it out.They were hired to handle these types of things.I just don’t have time for these lower-level issues.

No matter what the justification, there’s a price to pay for avoiding conflict.

Every conflict that escalates can traced back to a conversation that should have happened but didn’t. This is so easy to see at the middle-management level.

BUT WAIT! Avoidance happens at the top too!

Conversations avoided among executive team members are the worst!  For example the Senior HR person is afraid to confront the CEO about an inappropriate side remark, or the CFO can’t stand the General Council.

Here’s something else to consider: If the person you need to speak to (no matter what their power or position) would be surprised about how you feel that means there’s deception going on.

Here’s the truth: You lose confidence and power when you don’t have the courage to confront issues that affect the culture.

If your executive team is misaligned, I can help. Let’s explore my newest offering of customized Executive Development and Coaching.

To your alignment,
Marlene Chism

The post Misaligned Executive Team? appeared first on Marlene Chism.