Marlene Chism's Blog, page 2

March 24, 2025

How Really Good People Can Be Really Ineffective

Many well-intentioned, talented professionals struggle with effectiveness. This isn’t due to a lack of effort or integrity, but rather systemic barriers that hinder their performance. Here’s how these challenges manifest and what to look for.

 

Lack of Clarity

When expectations, goals, or roles are unclear, even the best employees can flounder.

Signs of Lack of Clarity:

Frequent rework – Tasks are often redone due to shifting expectations or vague instructions.Conflicting priorities – Team members receive mixed messages about what’s most important.Unclear decision-making authority – Employees hesitate or duplicate efforts because they’re unsure who has the final say.Low confidence in execution – People second-guess their work, asking, “Is this what you meant?”High dependency on leaders for direction – Excessive check-ins and approvals slow down progress. Lack of Resources

Good people can’t succeed if they don’t have the tools, time, or support needed to perform.

Signs of Lack of Resources:

Constant workarounds – Employees create makeshift solutions due to missing tools or systems.Burnout and frustration – High stress from trying to do too much with too little.Slow project completion – Delays caused by waiting for approvals, staffing, or budget.High turnover in key roles – Employees leave when they feel unsupported.Frequent complaints about inefficiency – Teams regularly express that things could be done better “if only…” Misunderstanding Priorities

Even high performers struggle when they’re not aligned on what truly matters.

Signs of Misunderstood Priorities:

Focus on urgent but unimportant tasks – The team is always “busy” but not making real progress.Goals constantly shift – Objectives seem to change without clear reasoning.Mismatched performance metrics – Employees are measured on things that don’t align with business goals.Disengagement from mission-critical work – People ignore or deprioritize key initiatives.Lack of long-term strategic planning – Short-term fixes dominate over sustainable solutions. Ineffective Processes

Even the best teams struggle under cumbersome or outdated workflows.

Signs of Ineffective Processes:

Excessive meetings with little outcome – Discussions happen, but decisions don’t.Duplicated efforts across teams – Work is redone due to poor coordination.High error rates and rework – Tasks frequently need corrections.Slow response times – Delays in decision-making and execution.Resistance to change – Employees avoid new methods because old ones, while inefficient, feel safer. Unapproachable Leaders

Leadership plays a crucial role in effectiveness, and when leaders are distant or unapproachable, problems go unresolved.

Signs of Unapproachable Leaders:

Employees hesitate to speak up – Fear of criticism or dismissal discourages open dialogue.Leaders are unaware of ground-level issues – Decisions are made without understanding real challenges.Low morale and engagement – Team members feel unheard and undervalued.Feedback is rare or ineffective – Employees don’t receive guidance that helps them improve.Decisions are made in isolation – Leader’s act without input from those doing the work.

Conclusion

Being effective isn’t just about working hard—it’s about working smart within a system that supports clarity, resources, priorities, processes, and leadership. Organizations that recognize and address these barriers will unlock the true potential of their people.

Check out the Performance Coaching Model. We teach your leaders to overcome these barriers to ineffectiveness.

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Published on March 24, 2025 04:25

March 10, 2025

From Avoidance to Accountability: The Key to Reducing Drama

Those problem employees. They’re negative. They like to argue. They don’t follow through. They waste your time. You’ve tried talking to them. You’ve said it a thousand times, but nothing changes.

Drama. It always seems like it’s because of the other person.

Here’s some hard truth:  Drama is never about your employees. It’s always about you. I know this hurts, and I might even sound a bit self-righteous, but bear with me. I had to learn this lesson myself. I’m no stranger to avoiding drama.

It was 2011 and I had just published my first book, Stop Workplace Drama. As much as I knew about stopping workplace drama, I had some drama in my personal life. There was a relative who called me regularly to gripe about her life, and there was never any resolution.

When we talked, I tried everything I could to soothe her pain. Sometimes I gave advice. Sometimes I just listened. Sometimes I joined in with my own sob stories, but nothing gave her relief.

With her nothing was ever right. Not her husband, her friends, her weight, her age. Nothing. I heard the same stories so often that I could repeat them word for word. When the phone rang, I said a prayer of thanks for the invention of Caller ID.

My coping mechanism was avoidance. I had been walking on eggshells, avoiding a real conversation; a conversation about how her behavior was affecting me.

After some reflection, I decided to be honest the next time she called. I would tell her that her negativity was intolerable. I would tell her that I was struggling to maintain the relationship. I would tell her that something needed to change!

Then, the phone rang. It was her. Without taking so much as two breaths she was off to the races, complaining about her husband, her life, the way she was treated at the grocery store and everything in between.

I broke in, “Hey, I’m sorry but I have to get off the phone!”

She said, “What’s up with you? You’ve done that the last two times!”

“I’ll tell you what’s up with me! I thank GOD for caller ID, because when I see your name I would rather hang myself with a gold rope than to pick up the phone. I am literally sick of your negativity. I can’t take another moment!”

Interesting how avoidance eventually leads to aggression. (I didn’t know this until I wrote my fourth book, From Conflict to Courage, and before I knew how to effectively master conflict conversations. )

My aggressive response surprised me, and her next question startled me.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“Wow. Great question. Hmmm. What I want is that when you have a problem, you receive help. You take advice and you resolve your issues. I want us to laugh, and to have some fun. I want us to stop focusing so much on your problems.”

Her next statement pulled the rug out from under me. “You know what your problem is?”

“What???” I asked.

“You want to fix me and I don’t want to be fixed. I just want to vent!”

“Then let me be crystal clear. Venting is five minutes not two hours. I promise in the future to be more authentic with you. I promise not to walk on eggshells and not to blow up, but I won’t be held hostage to hours of negativity.”

Without boring you with all the other details, we eventually forgave each other. We changed our patterns and we mended the relationship.

Here’s what I learned:

There are four reasons for relationship drama.

The inability or unwillingness to speak our highest truth.The inability or unwillingness to set an appropriate boundary.The belief that you are responsible for someone’s success, happiness or well-being.The belief that they are responsible for your success, happiness or well-being.

How this applies to leadership: Every week your leaders avoid difficult conversations about poor performance and disruptive behavior. They allow bullying behavior because the bully is the rainmaker. They move disruptive people to different departments instead of holding them accountable.  They listen endlessly to hear say and gossip to make their favorite employee feel good.  They keep information from you so they don’t look incompetent. They rate less than average performers as meeting expectations because they don’t want to stir up drama.

The Performance Coaching Model helps leaders to eliminate these problems rooted in the four reasons for relationship drama. You leaders will learn how to prepare for, initiate and deliver conversations that increase accountability and get results.

Oh, and there’s one more truth: You teach what you need to learn.

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Published on March 10, 2025 03:00

February 24, 2025

Blame or Progress: You Can’t Have Both

Blame is an easy shortcut. It lets us avoid responsibility while still feeling justified. And there’s never a shortage of evidence to support it. If you look hard enough, you’ll find facts that validate your blame story. You can even build entire communities of people who share the same frustrations, reinforcing the idea that your struggles are someone else’s fault.

But while blame feels satisfying in the moment, it ultimately leaves you stuck. It doesn’t move you forward, solve your problems, or create the outcomes you want.

The Hidden Rewards of Blame

Blame isn’t just a habit—it’s a chemical hit. Every time we blame someone or something, our brain rewards us with a rush of dopamine. We feel good, righteous, and even powerful.

Blame also provides:

Validation – You get to prove that you’re right.Justification – It offers an easy excuse for a bad mood, a negative experience, or a difficult situation.A Sense of Control – It shifts responsibility away from you, making it easier to avoid hard choices.

But there’s a catch: blame doesn’t actually improve your circumstances. It only gives the illusion of control while keeping you in the same place.

The Cost of Blame

Blame feels good in the short term, but it has long-term consequences.

It keeps you trapped – You focus more on what’s wrong than on what’s possible.It prevents action – Instead of solving problems, blame keeps you in a cycle of frustration.It damages relationships – Blame fosters resentment and weakens trust.

If you want to create meaningful change, you have to break free from the blame trap.

Shifting from Blame to Choice

The key to moving forward is shifting from blame to choice. Every situation presents a set of choices, but blame keeps you from seeing them.

To shift:

Recognize when you’re in the blame cycle. Pay attention to when you’re blaming external factors instead of looking for solutions.Ask yourself: What choices do I have? Even in difficult situations, you always have options.Focus on what you can control. Instead of waiting for others to change, take action where you can.

Blame keeps you focused on the past. Choices move you toward the future.

The Power of Taking Ownership

Taking ownership doesn’t mean ignoring problems or letting others off the hook. It means recognizing your own ability to influence outcomes.

When you replace blame with responsibility, you:

Regain control over your actions and decisions.Create momentum by focusing on solutions instead of problems.Lead by example, encouraging accountability in your team and relationships.

The best leaders don’t waste time assigning blame—they focus on progress.

Final Thought: Move Forward, Not Backward

Blame is easy, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. The real power lies in choice. The next time you find yourself slipping into blame, ask: What’s one thing I can do right now to move forward?

Because at the end of the day, blame keeps you stuck—but choices set you free.

If you want to build a more responsible and accountable leadership team, email me for an exploratory meeting.

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Published on February 24, 2025 03:00

February 17, 2025

The Leadership Trap: Quick fixes

Have you ever had a problem you wanted to share, only to be interrupted halfway through by someone offering a solution you didn’t ask for?

I have.

I remember bringing up a challenge I was facing with a fellow consultant. Before I could even explain the full context, they cut me off with, “Just prioritize better, and you’ll figure it out.”

That was it—no follow-up questions, no acknowledgment of my concerns, no curiosity.

I walked away feeling dismissed, like my experience and perspective didn’t matter. Instead of feeling supported, I felt alone in solving the problem.

And I see this dynamic play out in organizations every day.

The Cost of Dismissing Concerns

Very often when leaders give curt responses it means they don’t have the bandwidth to bear someone else’s burden, or they just don’t have the skills to listen or offer coaching.

✅    You’re overthinking it.
✅    Just stop it.
✅    Let it go.
✅   It shouldn’t bother you.
✅   Don’t overthink it.
✅   Suck it up.
✅    Try to be more positive.

Well-meaning leaders may think they’re being efficient, cutting to the chase, or even offering tough love. But what they’re actually doing is eroding trust, disengaging their teams, and creating an environment where people don’t feel safe bringing up concerns.

Over time, this poorly thought-out advice has negative effects:
Lower engagement – When employees don’t feel heard, they stop contributing.
Reduced problem-solving – If leaders shut down conversations, they lose valuable insights from their teams.
Increased frustration – People feel unheard and undervalued, which affects morale and retention.

Why Leaders Default to Quick Fixes

Most of the time, when leaders dismiss concerns with a quick fix, it’s not because they don’t care. It’s usually because:

They don’t have the bandwidth – They’re overwhelmed, stretched thin, and don’t feel they have the capacity to take on another person’s struggles.They lack the skill – They were never trained to listen, coach, or create space for real conversations.They’re uncomfortable with uncertainty – They feel pressure to have all the answers, so they rush to a solution instead of sitting with the complexity of the issue.

The problem? Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions for the best answers to emerge.

The Shift: Becoming a Radical Listener

One of the key lessons in my new online course, The Performance Coaching Model, is how to become a radical listener.

Radical listening isn’t passive. It’s an intentional leadership skill that transforms how you engage with your team. It involves:

Asking before advising – Instead of jumping to a solution, get curious. “What’s your biggest concern about this?” “What have you already tried?”
Validating, even if you don’t agree – “I hear you. That sounds frustrating.” This doesn’t mean you agree, but it shows you value their experience.
Holding space for the discomfort – Not every problem has an immediate fix, and that’s okay. Sometimes, people just need to process out loud.

Leadership That Builds Trust

Leaders who master radical listening build stronger, more engaged teams. Their people feel valued, they bring better ideas to the table, and they navigate conflict with more confidence.

If you want to explore how this can benefit your team, email me here.

And if you’d like to be notified when The Performance Coaching Model officially launches, take the Mastering Conflict Conversation Assessment and you’ll automatically be signed up for the waitlist.

Real leadership isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about meaningful coaching conversations. Let’s start having them.

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Published on February 17, 2025 03:00

February 10, 2025

Love, Leadership, and the Power of Respect

In today’s climate of division, we’re forgetting what’s truly important for a fulfilling life: Relationships. Great professional relationships make work rewarding, and great personal relationships are foundational for happiness.

Unfortunately, our personal and professional relationships are breaking apart. We seem to care more about being right than doing the difficult inner work required to effectively manage the conflicts surrounding us.

Surely, you’ve noticed on social media, the moment a political or religious difference gets exposed, it’s not long before disagreements escalate into emotional reactions, followed by disrespect. What could be a conversation becomes a battlefield, and instead of seeking understanding, we choose sides and deepen the divide.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, consider making a new commitment:  No matter how much you disagree, choose to stay grounded. Refuse to give into the temptation of unchecked emotion that leads to disrespect.

What’s required: Stop feeding the beast. Require more of yourself. Stop justifying disrespect. Anything said in disrespect doesn’t change minds anyway. Oh, but they started it? It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing positive or productive you can say when you’re dysregulated.  Silence yourself and feel the bad feelings compelling you to lash out. No more talking if you have the urge to label, name-call, berate, or make fun of someone.

Regulation before resolution. You can’t resolve conflict by blame, resentment, or intense anger. Calm yourself down if the topic is too hot to handle. Keep your hands away from your keyboard, and off of your smart device.Become a radical listener. Listen even when it’s difficult. Take a breath. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Before you speak acknowledge their perspective. For example, “I didn’t know you felt that way.”  Focus on truly hearing the other person instead of just waiting for your turn to talk.Get control of your executive brain. Feel the anger, but don’t disperse the energy. This requires regaining control of your thinking brain instead of reacting from the primal brain. Take a pause and calm down to get control of the executive function of the brain. Pause before pouncing.Stop feeding the beast. You may need a break from the news or social media. Get outside in nature. Focus on your blessings. Your impulses will begin to subside.Stay curious, not furious. Chances are, you’re making all kinds of assumptions and judgments. What if you just lightened up and approached disagreement with a mindset of learning rather than defensiveness?Elevate your standard. Make your choices based on who you are not on what everyone else is doing. Sure, you’ll be called self-righteous, but that’s OK. Set the standard. Be a leader not a follower.Let values guide your actions. Being clear about your values is greater than being clear about your argument. If you value kindness, let kindness be your guide. If you value safety, allow others to feel emotionally safe in your presence.

 

Conflict has never been the problem. The problem is and always has been mismanagement. We grossly mismanage conflict when we resort to disrespect to win an argument. The strongest relationships, both personally and professionally are not built on the absence of conflict, but on the power of respect in the midst of it.

On this Valentine’s Day, beyond the flowers and chocolates, consider the deeper gift you can offer to the people in your life: the assurance that even in disagreement, they will be treated with dignity.

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Published on February 10, 2025 03:00

February 3, 2025

The Cost of Conflict Mismanagement at the Top

Conflict mismanagement often hides in the roots below the surface. As an executive you want to make sure you’re solving the real problem—getting to the root instead of nipping the problem in the bud. What the problem looks like on the surface, may not get to the root issue causing the repetitive dysfunction.

For example, an executive team I was working with expressed frustration. “Our directors have to be micromanaged” they said.

When I asked to provide specifics, they couldn’t. Not only were they unwilling to name names, but they also couldn’t recognize the specific patterns, or pinpoint specific times when they felt the pressure to micromanage.  It’s likely that micromanaging was the identifiable bloom, with deeper roots below the surface.

Knowing that clarity can change any situation, I suggested we start by keeping track of the times when they as executives micromanaged the directors.  This clarity would help us to see patterns and to understand when, who, and how often.

The executives declined. “We don’t want anyone to think we’re pointing blame or nitpicking” the CEO said.

“This isn’t about blame,” I said. “The purpose is to increase awareness so we can pinpoint the real problem.” They politely declined.

The real problem wasn’t the directors—it was a lack of accountability and lack of willingness to explore further.

I interpreted this behavior as a classic example of conflict avoidance at the top. The harsh truth is you can’t fix what you don’t understand, and what you don’t understand will cost you in time, productivity, and dollars.

While there’s a hard cost to avoidance, the bigger cost could be the emotional costs of avoidance.

The Emotional Cost of Conflict Avoidance

A former client who worked as an HR leader in a large health-care organization wrote to me when she realized the detrimental effects of avoiding conflict.

“I’m just about at the end of a yearlong process of managing a disruptive employee. This situation ended up with lawyers involved and should reach a settlement today. It’s been a long and painful process, as this employee had been tolerated for 18 years. This employee was occasionally talked to, but since she was considered a “high performer,” she was allowed to carry on, hurting patients, families, and staff along the way, as well as creating chaos in her wake of disruption. The entire process has taken a toll on me, my team, and the employee. I didn’t realize how hard emotionally and mentally it would really be.”

Learning the Lessons of Avoidance
It’s difficult to learn the lessons of avoidance because the pain usually doesn’t happen immediately. There’s always a lag time between the avoidance, the justification, and the result. The more time that goes on, the easier it is to disconnect the dots—to inaccurately define the problem and work on resolving the wrong issue.

 

Coming in 2025

In my upcoming course, I’m offering a method to get to the root problem; a method to increase leadership clarity; and a framework for initiating conversations that get results. The course is called The Performance Coaching Model. Included in the framework are nine communication-coaching skills, designed to help leaders navigate conflict conversations and increase accountability.

 

If you take the Culture of Avoidance assessment, that puts you on the waitlist to be the first to know when the program is launched.

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Published on February 03, 2025 03:00

January 29, 2025

Disagreeing Respectfully

Disagreeing is a natural part of leadership, collaboration, and daily life, but let’s be honest—it’s not always easy. And because it’s difficult, we often avoid important conversations, causing a ripple effect later.

In today’s society, we’ve increasingly lost the art of civil discourse, and without respect, we lose trust, collaboration, innovation, and the ability to solve problems together.

Too often, disagreements feel personal, leading to defensiveness and shutting down meaningful dialogue. But what if you could approach disagreements in a way that challenges ideas without disconfirming or invalidating the person behind them?

Here’s the good news: You can. The key lies in asking thoughtful, open-ended questions that promote curiosity and collaboration rather than conflict. Over the next four weeks I’ll be sharing one strategy and hoping you will try the tip and let me know how it goes.

1. Would you be willing to be challenged?

Disagreeing can feel risky, especially in hierarchical relationships. By asking for permission to challenge an idea, you set the tone for a respectful exchange. This question frames your intent as collaborative, not combative.

bulb Try this: “I’d like to challenge this idea because I think it could make our approach even stronger. Would that be okay?”

❌  Avoid: Jumping straight into your disagreement without checking their openness—it can feel aggressive and derail the conversation.

2. Are you open to hear another point of view?

This simple question opens the door to fresh perspectives while showing respect for the other person’s ideas. Leaders who foster this kind of dialogue often uncover blind spots and create space for innovation.

bulb Try this: “Can I share an idea that might complement what you’re thinking?”

x Avoid: Starting with phrases like “I disagree” or “That’s not right.” These can shut down curiosity and collaboration.

Try that and let me know how it goes.

To your success,
Marlene Chism

PS: If you need support with leadership development in 2025, or you’re looking for a keynote speaker for your association, please reach out for an exploratory meeting.

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Published on January 29, 2025 01:00

Disagreeing Respectfully (Part 1)

Disagreeing is a natural part of leadership, collaboration, and daily life, but let’s be honest—it’s not always easy. And because it’s difficult, we often avoid important conversations, causing a ripple effect later.

In today’s society, we’ve increasingly lost the art of civil discourse, and without respect, we lose trust, collaboration, innovation, and the ability to solve problems together.

Too often, disagreements feel personal, leading to defensiveness and shutting down meaningful dialogue. But what if you could approach disagreements in a way that challenges ideas without disconfirming or invalidating the person behind them?

Here’s the good news: You can. The key lies in asking thoughtful, open-ended questions that promote curiosity and collaboration rather than conflict. Over the next four weeks I’ll be sharing one strategy and hoping you will try the tip and let me know how it goes.

1. Would you be willing to be challenged?

Disagreeing can feel risky, especially in hierarchical relationships. By asking for permission to challenge an idea, you set the tone for a respectful exchange. This question frames your intent as collaborative, not combative.

  Try this: “I’d like to challenge this idea because I think it could make our approach even stronger. Would that be okay?”

❌  Avoid: Jumping straight into your disagreement without checking their openness—it can feel aggressive and derail the conversation.

Stay tuned and next week I’ll share a second strategy.

To your success,
Marlene Chism

PS: If you need support with leadership development in 2025, or you’re looking for a keynote speaker for your association, please reach out for an exploratory meeting.

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Published on January 29, 2025 01:00

January 17, 2025

The Hard Truth About Mismanagement

When clients call me it’s often because there’s some sort of mismanagement.  Here’s a snapshot of what I’m told.

“I just want my team to own their role.”
” Managers aren’t holding their teams accountable.”
“There’s a lot of miscommunication.”

Here’s what’s interesting: The worst mismanagement may seem like it’s at the front line or middle level, however the biggest mismanagement is unresolved conflict at the top.

The Hard Truth

When executives are not on the same page, it’s like parents fighting and blaming the kids for misbehaving. Employees are left feeling unsure, insecure, and, often, demoralized. They look for guidance and stability, but when executives are focused on internal battles, that sense of stability is shattered, putting the organization at risk.

When senior leaders can’t align, the entire culture is at risk.  When the C-Suite Battles, the Whole Organization Suffers. The biggest risk is trying to fix a problem you don’t fully see or understand.

As Dr. Phil says, “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.” So here’s a quick snapshot to see if you recognize any of the red flags!

Red Flags that Indicate Executive MisalignmentTalking about culture as if it belongs solely to the HR and OD team.A change agent is hired but not supported once the inevitable pushback happens.There’s a new C-suite leader who has too many blind spots and very little self development.Executives gossipping about each other to build alliances.Senior leaders keeping information from each other.Managers afraid to tell their directors about their problems. There’s been a recent executive blindside.There’s an EEOC complaint or litigation in play.

There’s another pet peeve of mine and I just have to say it here. The problem is usually identified as a “communication problem.”To tell you the unvarnished truth: That is WAY too general and doesn’t get to the root cause.

Nonetheless, the very next step that happens is that one of the internal coaches, trainers, HR staff, or OD professionals are told to fix the problem.

Here’s some other red flags that almost guarantee disappointment

The HR team finds a book and they decide to create an internal training program off of the book.A facilitator or “certified trainer” is hired to do an off the shelf workshop.There’s no budget set aside to fix the problem, so a local generalist is hired to do a few workshops.Internal coaches attempt to teach “communication skills” to the leaders.Top level leaders don’t know how to coach their own leadership team.

If any of these issues resonate and you’re tired of being on the hamster wheel of unresolved conflict, reach out for an introductory call to let me share the new offerings for 2025 to increase leadership competency and create cultures of accountability.

To your success,
Marlene Chism

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Published on January 17, 2025 00:34

January 8, 2025

The Language of Responsibility

We’re all guilty of complaining, making excuses or blaming, however as a leader it’s our obligation to model the language of personal responsibility. Leaders set the example by the words they use and the tone of their message. When you change the language, you change the culture.

Here’s a short list that contrasts irresponsible language and gives the course-correction.

Use this list as a cheat sheet to elevate your language to higher levels of awareness and responsibility.

COMPLAINING: Puts focus on what you don’t want but does nothing to define what you do want.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Define what you want and shift your focus on what you want to create instead of focusing on your obstacle.

EXCUSES: Show you what obstacles you believe are holding you back.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Challenge assumptions and ask, “What are my choices?”

REGRETS: Tells you what you wish you wouldn’t have done or what you wish you would’ve done.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Ask for forgiveness and make amends.  Or take the next right step to course correct.

BLAME: Tells you who or what you think is more powerful than yourself.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Take your power back and step into responsibility. Own the problem and own the potential.

RESENTMENT: Tells you where you didn’t act in your own best interests.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Set a boundary.  Speak up.  Ask for what you want.  Become proactive, let go of assumptions and become your own best friend.

ARGUING: Tells you that you need to be right and you are too impatient to learn.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Take a breath. Then say, “I want to learn more. You speak first then I’ll respond.” Envision the final result you want to achieve and know that when you learn you grow and when you grow you win.

DISCOUNTING: Tells you that you disagree with someone but are using manipulation instead of authenticity to win your point.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: Be honest about your disagreement, then decide either to listen, or to agree to disagree: “You have a right to your opinion but I respectfully disagree.”

Conclusion

When I’m coaching others, I listen for signs of irresponsible language, which includes blame, resentment, justification, and judgment. In the workplace irresponsible language contributes to a culture of avoidance or a culture of blame. On social media, irresponsible language leads to incivility, disrespect, and unnecessary drama. Responsible language is about asking for what you want, defining the boundaries, setting priorities, and representing yourself rather than rescuing others. Effective leaders model the language of responsibility.

 

Article first published on LinkedIn in the Marlene Chism Newsletter. Subscribe for effective leadership insights.

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Published on January 08, 2025 08:06